Looking for advice!

[Chipmyster]

I'm well aware many of you will read the thread title and groan in expectation of the same questions again but I hope I can ask something a little different!

Hokay, the basic idea is that my current boyfriend and I have done role reversal, meaning I am being the bottom, which I have never been before! I don't have any issues with being clean or tight or what not but I have a couple of niggling doubts that people with more experience could probably explain!

Firstly, when I have 'used' things on myself in the past I can often with a little time get it to feel really quite good and I like it. However, when my boyfriend is fucking me, I can kinda feel what I feel but it's never the same...The motion of him going in and out also feels really odd and off putting, does that go away with time? Is there any reason why having a Real Cock in me moving doesn't produce the same effect as when I practice?

Secondly, if assuming because we have only been in these roles for 12? Sessions if you will...That we have to try alot more before we both will feel comfortable in our roles? I'm unsure how much time people mean when it says "It takes time to get used to being bottom normally" is that like 3/4 sessions or much more? Is it also possible that I will never feel as good as other people because I am just not a 'bottom'? It seems a little unfair that I could be denied feeling really good for a stupid reason like that!

Lastly, it's a little off topic but I will ask anyway...During foreplay or sex I have heard and seen people being 'tingly' and they say it feels really good and tingles and it makes them cum so much harder...But I myself have never experienced this, I have made people feel it but never seem to get it myself...Is there a trick to it or is it random? Does your partner have to work on you loads and loads to reach it?

That's lot's to read and I am grateful for anyone who actually reads it all and is willing to offer a response!

Many thanks ahead of time,

Dan

 

[KaraBulut]

In the top of the forum are some sticky threads- one of the "All About Ass" has some of the previous threads about problems with anal sex.

A few thoughts-

• It sounds like you may be rushing things. Slow down. Play with each other's ass with lube and fingers. Don't try to penetrate until you're relaxed enough to get al least two fingers in. The process also gets the ass relaxed and lubed up and ready to be drilled.
• Use more lube. Lots more lube. You need a thicker lube that doesn't dry quickly.
• Don't start with missionary or doggy style. First try sitting on his dick- either cowboy or reverse cowboy. Ride it until you're nice and relaxed and then change positions. The cowboy positions give you more control and allows you to determine the speed of penetration.
• You need to be very relaxed and in the zone before your boyfriend can give you a pounding. Where most guys who are new to topping go wrong is rushing things.

 

[Chipmyster]

Ah I will try that but I have a one niggling little question...

The feeling of something moving in and out isn't a nice one ( I don't know it just feels really odd...) Does that go away or is it something you learn to ignore?

 

[KaraBulut]

Ah I will try that but I have a one niggling little question...

The feeling of something moving in and out isn't a nice one ( I don't know it just feels really odd...) Does that go away or is it something you learn to ignore?

It's something you learn to enjoy. It gets better in time. And if you try sitting on it instead of just being passively fucked doggy or missionary, you'll find that the in/out sensation isn't as bothersome.

Oh- and if your boyfriend is trying to fuck you like a sewing machine needle, then tell him to slow down. In this case too, cowboy is going to give you better control of depth and penetration.

 

[Chipmyster]

So that feeling of well basically like your going to the toilet goes away a little? Or your mind gets used too it? Because that's one of the biggest well I guess the word is 'put offs' because it ruins any other feeling I have, plus it causes me to start losing hardness...

I know it's nearly impossible to answer but I guess to get used to it fully is variable for most people? I mean I've bottomed about as I said 15-20? times at most I am guessing it would take a little longer considering I've never done it before or am I just not a 'natural' bottom?

Thank you for replying consistently, it's very much appreciated!!

 

[KaraBulut]

That feeling like you need to poop is a common complaint for new bottoms.

It's a combination of things that cause it.

The primary cause goes back to potty training when you learned to associate that fullness feeling with the need to "go potty". Now that you're trying to also associate the feeling of something up your ass with pleasure, the old potty training associations get in the way.

What this really is about is two things-

1. A top who isn't patient and doesn't relax the bottom ahead of time. Unless you're an experienced bottom, you really have to work on getting relaxed and lubed and ready.
2. An inexperienced bottom who is still working on relaxing.

There's another recent thread about using butt plugs. I'm a big believer in using butt plugs for training- either during masturbation or with a willing partner. What a butt plug does is give you the in-out pleasure of a dildo, the taper allows you to train relaxation at your own pace and once you get it all the way in it allows you to train on getting off with your ass full.

Once you get to the point where you are relaxed and you are able to come with a buttplug in your ass, the augmented sensation that comes with the orgasm starts another association in your brain: the association of extreme pleasure with having something in your ass.

So, yes- it gets better but like training any muscle, it takes time, a little work and a lot of patience.

 

[Chipmyster]

Thank you!! I was starting to think it was just me that was being really weird and not getting it!

I guess I just have to give it more time and stop expecting miracles in a couple of weeks.

Thanks for the responses, I'll be trying those things out and hopefully it will all get better!