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Advice for recent arrivals


The voice of one
JUB Supporter
Aug 5, 2004
Reaction score
Los Angeles
This is a great post... every gay guy should get it when he first comes out. It goes against what much of gay culture tends to preach but I think this is much more true to people being people. Thanks for the post.

Love #2
Disagree with #6 and 22(fag hag I think is a term of endearment... at least that's how I mean it)
#16 has some personal significance haha
What a GREAT post! Where was this when I was coming out? (y) :=D:
I'll keep this list in mind. Kinda nice to have actually. All the do's and don't's that I don't know about.
While a few things here are funny and /or true most of it is truly homophobic. It part of the whole "I'm so butch, nobody'd ever think I'm gay." mentality. (Which by the way is almost always wishful thinking.) Fly all the rainbow flags you want, have (safe) sex with a consenting adult whenever you want to, alchoholism is no more likely to occur in gays than str8s, Queer As Folk is a GREAT TV show, and that's enough for now. Most of that original list is self-loathing gay stuff.
I love it. I wish I had had that about a year ago.
That list really sucks and is so untrue. Its just one person's experience with gay life colored by their own opinions.

Being gay actually IS an interesting thing about me. I DO tell people about it.

Rainbow flags are not an embarrassment to me.

"Gay life can be empty and depressing, but bitching about it outside the
confines of a few close friends will get you tagged as bitter." What kind of advice is that? So, if you feel empty and depressed its because you are gay, and just keep it to yourself? #-o

Well, the list is too long to comment on all of it. Sorry 02, I'm usually on the same wavelength as you but not this time.
Well, I think people misunderstood the spirit of the original post. It basically said that you don't have to be gay the stereotypical way. It doesn't say that is the way you have to live.... but basically that you can be yourself.

And to the comment that nobody is fooling anybody and everybody knows that you're gay... I disagree. I know who I'm fooling and who I'm not. And there are guys I've met that I definitely would not peg as gay.

And I take offense to the idea that the list is self-loathing or being ashamed being gay.
Sounds like the writer wants Gay people to be people...that just so happen to be gay. Considering that we live in a world that embraces similarities rather than differences( for the most part) it sounds like a good thing.

I understand the fact the I am transgendered as opposed to homosexual but please bear with me.

I have seen many others, pre and post op that go out of there way to act out this idea of how they think they should be. This type of behavior lends it's self not so much to a person wanting to live his or life in peace as it does a person who more than anything wants you to know that they are different.

I would not say that the writer is blasting a way of living as much as he is trying to let the reader know that they do not have to do what everyone else is doing just to be associated with the group. Also I believe that he wants the reader to develop a identity indepenent(sp?) of his sexual orientation.

Just my thoughts, feel free to send a stfu my way if need be.