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Am I gay/bi?

C

Confused Dude

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I know, no one can answer that question but me and labels don't matter.... but I'm seriously confused.

Okay... a very quick recap of my sexuality history. Up until I was 20, I thought I was completely straight. I remember wanting to kiss girls at the age of 4. The first time I masturbated, I hadn't even seen porn [I was 10 or 11 I think] and I was masturbating to the thought of having sex with a hot maid I saw on a movie. I got my first legit GF at the age of 12... and we were sexual with each other, but we never had sex... although I really wanted to. This relationship ended when I was 16. I was pretty devastated by the break up. I tried to get other GF's... but I suddenly became shy and insecure with my body. I remember obsessively googling "What size penis do girls like?" "Do girls only like guys that are really muscular?" Stuff like that.

By the age of 17, I started to watch porn pretty frequently. Like 5 times a week. By 18, it was almost every day. By 19, I watched porn like 10-12 times a week and would sometimes masturbate for 4 hours at a time. It got to the point where I couldn't even get 100% hard while watching porn... sometimes I would cum when I was like 70% hard.

So yeah... I was a porn addict. But I only watched straight porn and lesbian porn. Never really even had interest to look up gay porn. Then one day, before I turned 20, I came across Tranny porn. At first I was disgusted... but then I got intrigued. Then I noticed I was 100% erect and really turned on... This shocked the shit outta me... So I went back to the straight porn and took advantage of the good erection. Slowly though, I found myself going back to the tranny porn. I always made sure the tranny's looked very feminine.

Then a few months after that, I thought, "If I got so hard watching tranny porn, would I like gay porn?" And well... I got really hard again.

Now, I don't watch gay porn frequently... but I do on occasion and it really gets me off.

Does this mean that I was really gay/bi and just really deep in the closet this whole time?
 
jojobumpykins said:
Not at all. Different people are turned on by different things. Try not to label yourself until you're sure of what it is you want in a sexual/emotional relationship. Only you can answer for you how you identify. Just be you and enjoy it. ;)
Click to expand...

Thanks... I just don't know if it's common for straight guys to watch gay porn... or if my story is at all typical of how other gay guys realized they were gay.
 
Does the idea of being with another guy sexually thrill you? If not, you're probably not gay or bi. If it does, there is a chance you might be. No guarantees either way, of course, but truthfully answering that question to yourself might give you some idea and some peace of mind.

-d-
 
When I was a teen in school I would have NEVER thought of sucking a guys cock , and when I got married at 22 I started having fantasies about my wife fucking other guys like friends . Still NEVER thought of sucking cock , then a news flash on TV about how young girls as young as 13 sucking guys off , and how like 70% of middle school girls were experiencing oral sex . I don't know why but it started me thinking of all those young guy's with their Gf's sucking their cocks .

Then I was out drinking with this buddy that I thought of fucking my wife , and got a peek of his big uncut cock pissing against a tree . Not only did I get hard thinking of his cock in my wife's pussy , but I started jacking off thinking of sucking his cock .

I got a peek a few times while we were out , or in his back yard a couple of times and we both had to pee , we went behind his garage . I LOVE PUSSY , but when I reached my 30's I started thinking of sucking cocks more and more . Now 60 I get just as excited jacking off to gay porn as str8 porn , I still think of being a cuckold husband . But now I also think of being some guys GF or like my wife sucking a big cock like my friends .

Now I know your not born gay , my sexual desires changed over the years , I think back when I was in my teen's or 20's and say WOW . Has anyone else have this happen ? just started thinking about sucking cock over time , I know I would love it . But I look at just as much pussy , but want it to be filled with cum when I eat it now
 
When you're at a stag party and the films come out - what are the guys REALLY watching that turns them on - the woman, or the guy getting serviced, thinking they're THAT guy?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours has been around a very very very long time.

I'll let you answer the question for yourself.
 
I think a better test is whether you are tuned on more by looking at men's bodies or women's. if you want a better answer, I suggest you rent a lesbian film (no men), and a gay one (no women). The better plan is to continue to explore until you become convinced. Most importantly, avoid a commitment, like marriage or a child, until you are certain,
 
I have a question or two for the OP and anyone who would care to answer.

Why is it so important to put yourself in a box with a label?
What that label really going to change about you?
 
I agree with Elmos. If you fantasize sucking cock, does it really matter how you call it; you're still fantasizing about cock. Go get some and be happy. If you don't like it, don't do it again. No reason to complicate something so simple.
 
Let's not get into WHY put a label on it , COME ON everything in life has a LABEL , SO WHAT . If you like only men your GAY , if your a women and only have sex with other women , your a LESBIAN . I love women , but love to JUST suck a cock at times , a str8 guy would say , that's GAY wanting to suck another guys cock , it's a LABEL , it will ALWAYS be a LABEL , so what .

You see you can be anything you want , but if your anything at all , you WILL have a label . If your coming out , we have to label you something , or your NOTHING . To me , I don't see a problem with these label's , to me it's just all hot SEX , I'll suck a cock , and eat a pussy .
 
^but the reason WHY you put a label on it in the first place would answer the OP's question, which is the conundrum in itself...is he bi or gay? the point I am making is why you have chosen curious in your profile....WHY does the label matter if you like to eat pussy and suck cock....? It's neither bi or gay and certainly not straight.

Again, what would the bi or gay label do for you in terms of changing who you are? Why is it so important to slap a label on yourself?
 
I thought I said , label's SO WHAT , True a label doesn't change a person , all I'm saying again is people use label's to . My label I give me is curious : At first I was curious about whether I could be submissive to a real man and suck his cock , because it was just a fantasy and didn't know if I could really do it . And now everyday I'll check out this guy , CURIOUS if he has a big cock or uncut and if he would ever let a guy like me suck him off . Or this woman I'll see and wonder if she takes it up the ass , maybe ass to mouth , OH YEAH . I've never sucked a black cock , I'm curious if I would love it or chicken out . I get so turned on looking at white guy taking on 2 or 3 big black cocks , BUT again could I REALLY DO IT , I'm so curious . It just sounds to me that some people just can't stand hearing or reading about someone saying what they are , people come out and say their GAY or whatever . I don't know WHY people use label's they just do . I say curious but I could say I'm BI . They want to know your orientation .
 
blackbeltninja said:
Does the idea of being with another guy sexually thrill you? If not, you're probably not gay or bi. If it does, there is a chance you might be. No guarantees either way, of course, but truthfully answering that question to yourself might give you some idea and some peace of mind.

-d-
Click to expand...

I don't really know to be honest. A couple of years ago, I would have said hell no and I feel like I would have been honest. Since the gay porn though, I can't say either way... I've tried picturing myself with guys sexually when I see one at a store or something, but then I get this cold feeling and get really anxious... I don't really know how to describe it. When I look at a woman and picture having sex with her, it just feels.. idk.. I don't get that cold anxiety feeling.

DonQuixote said:
When you're at a stag party and the films come out - what are the guys REALLY watching that turns them on - the woman, or the guy getting serviced, thinking they're THAT guy?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours has been around a very very very long time.

I'll let you answer the question for yourself.
Click to expand...

I don't really understand this. When I watch a porno with a guy and a girl, I get aroused by the girl and I put myself in the guys situation picturing I'm him at times too.

Benvolio said:
I think a better test is whether you are tuned on more by looking at men's bodies or women's. if you want a better answer, I suggest you rent a lesbian film (no men), and a gay one (no women). The better plan is to continue to explore until you become convinced. Most importantly, avoid a commitment, like marriage or a child, until you are certain,
Click to expand...

I watch lesbian porn a lot. Before the gay porn, I never even paid attention to the guy's body. In general, whenever I see a well built guy in public, I always wish that I could look like that because I'm pretty thin.

ElmosToe said:
I have a question or two for the OP and anyone who would care to answer.

Why is it so important to put yourself in a box with a label?
What that label really going to change about you?
Click to expand...

There's a label for everything. I look at them as I look at titles. Son, daughter, husband, wife, cousin, teacher, democrat, republican, etc. Those are all labels to me.
 
After reading what you wrote and after careful consideration... I can now happily tell you, you are a pokemon!
 
I remember thinking once that sucking a guy's cock was gross. Then I agreed to hookup with this guy who was my first gay experience. As soon as our naked bodies embraced, I went into some kind of automatic pilot mode. I did not realize what I was doing except going with the flow. Then I realized I was sucking his big cock.

So, the point is that you won't know for certain until you actually meet up with some guys and do some experimenting. Otherwise, you are just guessing.
 
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