Are you comfortable with your attraction to chubs/dads/bears?

[Auburn]

I was wondering if guys who are chub/daddy/bear chasers have self esteem issues too(we already know chubs, daddies, and bears do) because of an attraction to what the gay community considers "abnormal" and not understandable.

1)Are you ok with the fact that you like chubs, daddies, or bears(trying to include all types of chasers here lol)?

2)do you tell people(mostly friends or family) that you like those kind of guys?

3)when did you realize you liked these types of men?

4) How do you deal with the negativity you get from liking these kind of guys?

I have always struggled with my attractions to these kind of guys and i was writing this thread to kinda see if anyone felt the same way. Thanks guys

 

[Naughty_Monkey]

1 Yes
2 Yes
3 When I realised I liked boys and not girls
4 It's their problem not mine

 

[NicholasB_UK]

Hi!

I absolutely don't have a problem with telling anyone that I like older (preferably chubby) men over fifty, now anyway, however I do remember a few years ago that I felt slightly embarrassed about it! It was one thing to come out, but something again to actually tell people I ONLY find mature men attractive.

Now, probably helped by the fact that I've found my life partner (my split apart if anyone remembers the film), I really don't give a fig what anyone else thinks or says. If they have a problem with it, that's just what it is...their problem, not mine!! Life's too short to let other people's opinions bother me - live and let live

I've never had any real negativity about liking older men, and as long as I can remember I have always only liked older men; having a crush on almost of all my headmasters! This started at primary school, and continued on from there; i fell completely "in love" with one maths master when I was 16-18...God I would have done ANYTHING for him!! Sadly (for me anyway) it only ever remained a fantasy!

 

[betterof2evils]

I don't have any issues with my attraction to bears and cubs. In fact, I think it's cool that i don't conform to the standards of the gay scene. And doubly in fact, I happen to think that as a gay man, it's pretty damn normal for me to find masculine men attractive.

 

[jft245]

I take exception to your comment that chubs, bears and daddies have "self esteem issues." I fall into all three catagories and I have no problem with who I am or how I look. If you don't like how I look, how much body hair I have, or the fact that I am over 50, that's your problem not mine.

I'm old, hairy, and fat and proud of it!

 

[housequake]

1 Yes
2 Yes
3 When I realised I liked boys and not girls
4 It's their problem not mine

Agree completely.

 

[Orlandude]

I don't have any issues with my attraction to bears and cubs. In fact, I think it's cool that i don't conform to the standards of the gay scene. And doubly in fact, I happen to think that as a gay man, it's pretty damn normal for me to find masculine men attractive.

"Standards of the gay scene"?? What standards? I'm either attracted to someone or I'm not. I could care less what anyone thinks about who I am attracted to. The ones who would criticize and attempt to create some self-imposed standard are the least "attractive" of all. They don't yet know that it's not ALL about physical appearance.

 

[Tommyboy69]

I am a bigger guy but not all that hairy. Seems guys around here are not interested in guys like me. But it is their loss because I am a great loving guy.

 

[prince_rn]

1)Are you ok with the fact that you like chubs, daddies, or bears(trying to include all types of chasers here lol)?

Sure i am and actually proud that i'm not into any thing else

2)do you tell people(mostly friends or family) that you like those kind of guys?

Well not really, i mean why should i?

3)when did you realize you liked these types of men?

I was arround 18 when i just could not stop thinking about what i like and came up with the perfect profile of a man

Age: 30-40
Stature: Well built to chubby
Stomach: Hairy
Colour: Black
Face: Always with a smile

4) How do you deal with the negativity you get from liking these kind of guys?

I don't i just ignore it.

 

[fuzzy4fuzzy]

I was wondering if guys who are chub/daddy/bear chasers have self esteem issues too(we already know chubs, daddies, and bears do) because of an attraction to what the gay community considers "abnormal" and not understandable.

Personally, I find "gym rats" and men that shave their bodies (WTF are they thinkin'?)
"abnormal" and not understandable.

1)Are you ok with the fact that you like chubs, daddies, or bears(trying to include all types of chasers here lol)?

I'm so OK with it, I'm ecstatic!

2)do you tell people(mostly friends or family) that you like those kind of guys?

Friends? Absolutely. Family? No.

3)when did you realize you liked these types of men?

When I was 14, I saw my future. (hehe, true story)

4) How do you deal with the negativity you get from liking these kind of guys?

I don't get any, so there's nothing to deal with.

I have always struggled with my attractions to these kind of guys and i was writing this thread to kinda see if anyone felt the same way. Thanks guys

Struggle less and cuddle more, INtrospective1
You have like minded brothers everywhere...


-=- Mike -=-

 

[lumberjack037200]

1)Are you ok with the fact that you like chubs, daddies, or bears(trying to include all types of chasers here lol)?

uhm, i know i like them. i don't think it matters if i'm okay with it. and besides, if i wanted to be with a feminine character, i'd be with a woman!

2)do you tell people(mostly friends or family) that you like those kind of guys?

my friends only. they think i have no taste. which is funny, because, it's actually them who don't have taste. seriously.

3)when did you realize you liked these types of men?

when i realized i was paying too much attention to my 8th grade science teacher. his name was mr. johnson, no joke.

4) How do you deal with the negativity you get from liking these kind of guys

i don't think there is any negativity at all. i think its different, mostly, and i can say this with assurance because of research, masculinity is something that has changed over and over and has a lot of the same issues that women's issues has, but of course in different terms. do straight guys give a shit for plain out saying, "man i want a chick with huge tits, tiny waist, and a nice ass"? nope. i tell my straight best friend, "dude, i want a dude with a full beard, hairy chest, wearing a plaid shirt, dirty jeans, and boots"

i can go deeper into the iconography of men from 1920 to now, but i'm sure this isn't the forum.

 

[fuckmuscle52]

Well I am a lucky recipient of the interest of a daddy chaser. My partner, who is a sweet pocket rocket japanese guy, now 26 years old, who chased me (54 years) down. And now we share the best of life together.

But we have lots of fun in venues that are patronised by bears, chubs and daddies and their admirers. And there is now shortage of all the above types of guys here in Sydney, and else where too. In fact in October I am taking my sweet mate to Paris, and a must on our itinerary is The Bears' Den. I can't wait to intorduce him to that heaven on earth for bear and daddy chasers.

Daddies, Bears chubs, and mates seem to have so much fun,. Actually I think that is because they are relaxed about themselves./

 

[artistsonly]

I was wondering if guys who are chub/daddy/bear chasers have self esteem issues too(we already know chubs, daddies, and bears do) because of an attraction to what the gay community considers "abnormal" and not understandable.

1)Are you ok with the fact that you like chubs, daddies, or bears(trying to include all types of chasers here lol)?

2)do you tell people(mostly friends or family) that you like those kind of guys?

3)when did you realize you liked these types of men?

4) How do you deal with the negativity you get from liking these kind of guys?

I have always struggled with my attractions to these kind of guys and i was writing this thread to kinda see if anyone felt the same way. Thanks guys

1. i like bears. sometimes it feels a little funny, like i might not know what to do with myself around them. but mostly i'm just turned on.
2. family, hell no. friends, yeah i clue them in on the bear thing. i sort of have a hairy arm fixation.
3. i knew i thought chest hair was hot a few years ago, but last year was when i realized i liked beards and the whole package.
4. ignore it. i don't tell many people, just the ones i'm really close with. haha, some of my friends even know what woofing is.

 

[LoveSweatandTears]

For the most part I don't have any issues with it.

It's never been common in my family to go into detail about sexual interests so I don't really ever get to that level of discussion with them. If I were asked what my "type" was I would have no problem saying I prefer older men.

With my close friends (both gay and straight) I don't care at all and we all joke about one anothers interests. Maybe I'm lucky to have a group of close friends with basically no sexual hang ups?

As for when I knew that I liked these kind of guys I think I can pin it to one specific experience. When I was about 7 or 8 years old a couple that my parents were friends with came over to visit one evening and I got to sit in this guy's lap as he told stories of being shot while working as a policeman in England and it just thrilled me so much. He was much more built and strong than my father and he just seemed like another species with his big hairy arms. I didn't have any kind of distinct clear sexual stirrings (as I was so young), but something in my mind was very much ignited by the presence of this guy. After that I had crushes on various teachers and men that I worked with. Never was I attracted to my classmates all through high school.

As for negativity I have yet to encounter any. I would imagine I might if I went to a trendy bar or club, but that hasn't been my scene for a while.

 

[Storybook_Man]

"1)Are you ok with the fact that you like chubs, daddies, or bears(trying to include all types of chasers here lol)? "

I am perfectly fine with it. Its the people who say stuff to try and get me away from it, or say I should see people my own age (non chubs, bears, daddies, and chasers).

"2)do you tell people(mostly friends or family) that you like those kind of guys?"

I am out to no one, but the gay/bi-sexual people I have been with.

"3)when did you realize you liked these types of men?"

My first gay experience was with an older male, about 37 years or atleast 30 years different from me. That has turned out to be a nightmare, I started seeing people my own age (Non chubs,daddies,bears and chasers) at around 5-7 people I got sick of all the immaturity and games.

"4) How do you deal with the negativity you get from liking these kind of guys?"

I just try to ignore it. You know what you want, no one will make you differ, unless you are forced. I had only two bad encounters with two different daddies. First one, he sort of put me out of the closet to my family, somehow I managed to get away from that nightmare. The Second one, I went over to his place to talk and to play around, he kept turning me off by saying I am going to breed you, give me that boy pussy etc (I am a man/boy whatever, I dont want to hear the word breed and boy pussy (Told him to stop with that and he never did)), well after about 5 minutes I was totally turned off. He tryed giving me anal (i am a bottom obviously), and I said no, he continued with force until I had to knock him off of me with my legs (by this time I had already asked multiple times to stop), ended up smacking him in the head. Never saw him ever again. I try to forget about bad things that happen to me (well these are the only 2 real harsh encounters I have dealt with and forgotten, and can speak openly about it).

 

[maxxximum]

if im being honest, i dont tell alot of people about it.

 

[probeteam1]

I was wondering if guys who are chub/daddy/bear chasers have self esteem issues too (we already know chubs, daddies, and bears do) because of an attraction to what the gay community considers "abnormal" and not understandable.

My self-esteem issues, if I have any, are probably not due to my attraction to bigger men. In fact, I'm not sure my isues canbe directly related to my attraction to men at all; I'm pretty sure that if I were straight, I'd be even more screwed up.

1)Are you ok with the fact that you like chubs, daddies, or bears(trying to include all types of chasers here lol)?

Yes. It's not really somethingI ever considered shameful - or at least not any more so than liking men in general, and I've been over that for some time. It does make finding a suitable partner more difficult, I suppose. I guess it helps that those atre not the only men I'm ever attracted to, though all other things being equal I still prefer chubby guys.

2)do you tell people(mostly friends or family) that you like those kind of guys?

No, mostly because many of the men I'm attracted to would feel either insulted or self-conscious at being called "chubby." I do occasionally use "bear," but in general I try to hint at my tastes rather than say them plainly. What's the point in stating my preferences if they alienate the very men I prefer? In my opinion it's better for everyone else to be ignorant of the details of my love life, so that I have a marginally higher chance of having a love life. I get misinterpreted a lot, and have learned to deal with it.

That's not to say that I don't let guys know when I'm attracted to them, or that I misrepresent what I find attractive about them. I just don't make public statements about it, and choose my words with care.

3)when did you realize you liked these types of men?

I'mnot sure. Around the time I developed a real sex drive, I guess.

4) How do you deal with the negativity you get from liking these kind of guys?

I don't get any negativity. Fewer people know my "type" of man than know I'm into men, and that's a pretty small list (though it's growing all the time). Those who do know, know me better than to give me any crap about it. And if they do give me any trouble, I generally know enough about their own foibles to make a pretty good "glass houses" argument.

I guess a part of this is because I don't really have much contact with the gay community - and when I do around here, it tends to be in the "bear/cub" community, so it's not precisely shocking that I'm into chubby and bearish men.

 

[riden3]

1) I'm ok with it, i'm just not sure everyone else I know is.

2) No, not yet...

3) Early as I can remember. I used to comfort myself at night thinking of Wolverine when I was a wee lad.

4) The only negativity I get is from myself. Being how I am the only one who knows, and I can give it to myself pretty hard sometimes

 

[betterof2evils]

"Standards of the gay scene"?? What standards? I'm either attracted to someone or I'm not. I could care less what anyone thinks about who I am attracted to. The ones who would criticize and attempt to create some self-imposed standard are the least "attractive" of all. They don't yet know that it's not ALL about physical appearance.

ehm, yeah!!!! That's what i meant. I think that on the gay scene, there are weird standards that if you're not a total gym bunny, tanned, toned and hairless body then you can't be considered attractive. This is MY experience of the gay scene. Don't know how you can say "what standards?".

 

[condreye]

I've been happily involved in an erotic friendship with a sweet caring lad half my age for over four years. Thank gawd for younger guys who like an older companion.