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Can a guy be straight but still be attracted to another guy?

B

Boredd

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Weird question. But this happened to me recently. I'll try to keep it short because whenever I talk about any of my experiences or feelings I end up writing an essay #-o

Here's the thing. So in highschool, I really liked this guy. Like it wasn't just a highschool crush, I was really crazy about him. I don't even know how to describe our relationship. It was weird. We clicked, we had chemistry and after what felt like years of sexual tension, I somehow had the courage to kiss him and amazingly he kissed me back. The thing was, he told me he wasn't "gay" so we just kept whatever it was that we had between us. It was fun while it lasted. You know, like it was our little thing.

But then, somehow, someone found out. People didn't know that we actually made out but there were suspicions and that became questions and then that became rumours. So understandably, he freaked the fuck out. He just stopped talking to me and became distant. I must admit I was pretty hurt and upset but I mean at that time, exams and finals were coming up and that kept me pretty occupied.

Long story short, school ended, we both went our separate ways to different universities and I thought I had gotten over him. That is until a few weeks ago when I had a school renunion. He approached me and we talked and all those emotions just came back and somehow I ended up at his place and you can guess what happened.

These last few weeks, I've been seeing him almost everyday. I told him last night that I wanted things to be 'exclusive' but he said we can't tell anyone because he's "straight". When I said that wasn't possible he told me that he's not attracted to other guys nor is he turned on by gay porn. He tells me he gets aroused by straight porn and by women but for some reason he's in love with me. He saids that he only dated girls in the past but he was always thinking about me and what did in highschool. He saids I'm the only person that makes him feel "complete" even though I'm a guy.

So what I'm asking is it possible for a straight guy being attracted to another guy? And has this happened to anyone? And what should I do? Because I think I'm in love with him but I don't want our relationship to be a secret forever (we have a lot of mutual friends since we went to highschool together). I'm just so confused at the moment.

And sorry for the essay. This always happens. ](*,)](*,)](*,)
 
well feelings are feelings what he told you is amazing and you should be happy about it. He says he is in love with you and you're the only one that turns him on, what else do you need? yeah if you want to be with him you have to compromise and respect what he wants. if he doesn't feel ready to be openly gay around your mutual friends just keep it a secret. the right time will come in the end and he will accept what he feels will accept himself and be open about to everyone else. if you 2 love each other that much don't let this go. compromising is the key to make this thing work, just try to balance what you want and what he wants and talk about it.

he can't be str8, he's just in denial, he must be at least bisexual just isn't sure about himself yet, he needs time to get used to this whole situation, you are the only one who can help him go through this
 
Boredd said:
...So what I'm asking is it possible for a straight guy being attracted to another guy? And has this happened to anyone? And what should I do? Because I think I'm in love with him but I don't want our relationship to be a secret forever (we have a lot of mutual friends since we went to highschool together). I'm just so confused at the moment.
Click to expand...

Some definitions of "straight" allow for some attraction to the same sex. Once it gets past a certain intensity or frequency, it becomes more difficult to maintain the straight label. Your friend seems to be past the point of "incidental" attraction. I don't know what's best for you to do, but forcing him to accept a definition of himself as bisexual now will be a problem, even if it's true. I'd say you'll have to be patient. People can change. As for what else you can do now, I hope someone else has some ideas.
 
It's kinda hard to say, personally I think that one has to have some kind of attraction to the same sex to actually like someone of the same sex. But all my sister's gf are "str8" prior to dating her. So people can fall for people just because of their personality.
 
As hard as this is going to be for you, I think you should just enjoy what you have and not pressure him for labels/commitments.

Clearly/obviously he likes you, as you're back together with him. Also obvious is he's struggling, but making a serious effort.
Allow him to go his own pace, with what he feels comfortable with, and with time (hopefully) he'll realize you're more important to him than whatever he fears the outside world will think. Pressuring him because of your own insecurities is just going to scare him off.
 
http://www.advocate.com/commentary/2013/05/15/op-ed-human-sexuality-more-gay-and-straight

This article kinda delves into that topic. I would also let him go at his own pace in the relationship but I will say this...at some point you're going to have to make a choice down the road.
I'm in a similar relationship (have been for almost a decade now) and I told him he didn't need to label himself but had to understand I wasn't going to hide who I was and that we had to be exclusive or there was no future.
At some point,you'll have to make a similiar choice about what you want and if he's willing to give it.
 
I think he is afraid to admit that he's gay and just hasn't come to terms with it yet. If hes down for being exclusive with you, that's great, but if you have to hide the relationship all the time, its not gonna work in the long run until he can deal with his sexuality.
 
It's how he identifies; and more significantly it's how he wants others to identify him, since he said he wants to keep things secret.
 
He basically wants to be your fuck buddy. Enjoy it, man! Be his fuck buddy and date other guys too. You have the best of both worlds! ...Being a fuck buddy with your best friend and fuck other guys.
 
I'll agree with others that you have to let him come to terms with it at his own pace. Only you can answer whether the relationship is important enough to you that the pace/progression is something you can be satisfied with in the long run. As for your friend, sounds to me like he's bisexual and in denial, but actually falling in love with you was enough to crack the repression and make him act on his feelings.
 
It's obvious that he's not straight and it's obvious that the only reason he let you go the first time was because of societal pressure. Talk about that. My thinking is that if you understand the reasons, the actions will be easier.
 
Don't push him to identify any way he is not ready to identify, if he truly is gay, hopefully he will come to accept himself, until then enjoy te fuck buddy, and hopefully one day you two can have a relationship, if not enjoy having a fuck buddy or move on.
 
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