The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    To register, turn off your VPN; you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • Hi Guest - Did you know?
    Hot Topics is a Safe for Work (SFW) forum.

Does a Mother Know?

That is an awful thing to say. Where did that come from. i would hate to think that my mum would think that when I come out to her
 
Post secret.com. People mail their secret on a postcard and it may be published weekly. It is a telling site. I truly doubt my mom sent it, but that is how she acts towards me and has for the last 5 years. It is difficult and easy at the same time, as they live in Texas, but I can go weeks without hearing from her, unless I call...It is not the way I want it to be, it just is.
 
Damn. That is sad. My mom seems to be perfectly fine with my sexuality. We still laugh and cry together.
 
Christopherb36 said:
Post secret.com. People mail their secret on a postcard and it may be published weekly. It is a telling site. I truly doubt my mom sent it, but that is how she acts towards me and has for the last 5 years. It is difficult and easy at the same time, as they live in Texas, but I can go weeks without hearing from her, unless I call...It is not the way I want it to be, it just is.
Click to expand...

Straight up, HER LOSS.
 
The sad thing is, a parent who would say something like this...their love is very suspect. They loved an illusion that didn't exsist, but never really loved YOU.

If you lose someones love because you tell them the truth, what have you really lost? In my opionion, not much.
 
That's a tough one. You don't say how old you and/or your mother are (and I didn't check you prrofile to try to find out) - she could be from the old school or from a heritage where this is not easily accepted. I'm sure she had hopes and dreams for you that may have 'died' with your news. It may be that she hasn't gotten over the shock of those dreams ending, and that may be the reason for her 'love' statement. She doesn't come out and say she despises you - she just got knocked down a few rungs of the love ladder. I'm trying to be optimistic (but acting this way for 5 years is a little much).

You might be better off to leave things as they are in the hopes that when she gets older, she'll mellow and (hopefully) regret these years of poor treatment toward you. I wish you and your whole family the best and hope that she sees the 'son' someday and brightens her life.
 
I am 37...she is over 60. It is religion/old school/small town mentality/depression/unhappy life/you name it.
 
SFMusic said:
The sad thing is, a parent who would say something like this...their love is very suspect. They loved an illusion that didn't exsist, but never really loved YOU.

If you lose someones love because you tell them the truth, what have you really lost? In my opionion, not much.
Click to expand...

Very, very true.

How can parents inflict so much pain on their children? Why did they have kids? Because they love kids, or they have some illusion they need to fill.

I am just filled with sadness at this thread.:(




(But the Shared Secret about touching the teddy bear between the legs was kinda funny! ..|)
 
Christopherb36 said:
I am 37...she is over 60. It is religion/old school/small town mentality/depression/unhappy life/you name it.
Click to expand...

OOOH - that's a tough list to break down and break through. Reading between the lines of your emails - I can see that this hurts deeply, but you still seem to have a surprisingly healthy outlook. Carry on, soldier.

Tape up that breaking heart, fix that flaking makeup, and keep that smile on forever. You're worth a hell of a lot more than she may think!!!
 
It is a bit transparent, my answers, as I am sad over it...Am I in denial? No, I realize that they may never accept who I am because they are worried about what other people may think or what will they ever say about their "GAY" son...Someday, I may get the balls to confront them on it, but right now, I choose my battles wisely and right now...this soldier is tired of trying with them. I hope that they will come around because so much time is slipping away.

When my sister was killed when I was 7, my grandparents and my parents were fighting over something stupid. They had not seen us, their grandchildren, in almost two years...one morning, my sister was struck by a car...she died and my grandparents lost two years of her life...how sad to think that this COULD happen to us. I want them to learn and I want them to know that time slips through the hourglass quickly. I do try with them...but I can ONLY do so much...
 
natedogg323 said:
My mom loves me...she just prays everyday that God will change me and Jesus will save me. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's what happened 30 years ago when I told my mom I was an atheist.

I can only imagine what she'll do when I tell her I'm gay!
 
I have always been pretty tough with my parents, I think, in expecting them to deal with my life openly and honestly. I am an only child, as they say, the gene pool ends here.

When I came out (15 years ago or so) AIDS was everywhere on tv and being Gay was really bad news. My parents were devastated and it took a while for them to process. It took my mom like 5 years to say "gay" instead of homosexual, and probably still hasen't brought herself to ask all the questions she has bouncing in her head. But in the process of helping them cope with my reality I learned something about their path that I hadn't understood or forseen.... For a parent, when a child comes out as gay, it's the confirmation that some of your hopes for that chile will not come true. It's agravating sometimes to think of it, but parents raise their kids with hopes and dreams for what that child will become. In time understanding can take hold and parents realise that it's still their son and he can still find happiness and fulfilment and a family. But right at the time they find out the news, all that seems lost. There is a real process of grief and detachment that happens, even when the parent wants to be supportive. In some measure those old dreams need to be put asside and that is hard work.

I agree the message in the card is heartbreaking. I also agree it is probably true. But I also think that it was never ment for the son to find. These are the very real and private feelings of a mother who is faced with changing her expectations for her son and build new ones. She is probably sad, disapointed and angry.... and to think she has no reason or right to feel that is selfish of us. We have had years of time to discover ourselves, bargain with god and ultimately accept who we are in a tough society. She has not, she needs to process all this AND be supportive and loving and all that.

Mom's and dad's need a hug from their gay son's and daughters. We too often are obsesed with finding our own path to realise that one way or another, they are on that path with us, trying to find their way through too.
 
eric55 said:
We have had years of time to discover ourselves, bargain with god and ultimately accept who we are in a tough society. She has not, she needs to process all this AND be supportive and loving and all that.
Click to expand...

That's very thoughtful and takes the world view. You're a bigger person than I am.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top