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Gay ex Jehovah's Witnesses

faewicca said:
Hi, I was df'd in 1983 after I came out. I used to read a newsletter that was similar to common bond, might have even been common bond but it was too much about bashing the Watchtower instead of helping me get over it.
There was a Common Bond newsletter that was published in Pittsburgh years ago. The last newsletter that I know of was published in 1999. Since then, A Common Bond has established quite a presence on the internet, with members all over the world. In fact, we're holding international conferences every year. We've tried to get away from the "Watchtower bashing" and concentrate more on support, although there are plenty of members who, for obvious reasons, are pretty pissed off at the way they were treated. It's all part of the grieving process. I've been out for 25+ years, so I'm in support mode rather than revenge and bash mode.
 
I'm sorry, but I don't believe that.

Not only was I disfellowshiped but was disowned by my entire family.

I don't know what they do now. But 25 years ago they could kick you out just for cussing.
 
It's interesting to know that there are other gay (ex or otherwise) JW's on this board. I'm still technically in the congregation. I'm under 20 and still live with my Dad, so it's pretty hard to make my own decisions about this. I've been inactive for about 2 months now. A few people from the KH have been coming over. My older cousin is studying w/ me, and he and his wife came over today and we had an interesting talk.

Earlier today I would've sworn that I knew what I was doing and that I'm gay and that's that. But now, after I talked to my cousin's wife for awhile, I'm not sure. She really opened up and was just one-on-one with me. She's never been that personal with me, and it was nice. I don't want to get into the whole thing, but I'm kinda torn as to what I should do. I actually was hoping to find a topic like this here, lucky me :) . Don't let this topic die!
 
WillMc88 said:
I actually was hoping to find a topic like this here, lucky me :) . Don't let this topic die!
I have no intention of letting this topic die, believe me! There are too many of us out there, lots of whom are going through what you are going through.

I'd like to invite you (and anyone else reading this) to join our Yahoo discussion group. There are over 300 of us in the group from all over the world. Keep posting!
 
WillMc88 said:
I'm under 20 and still live with my Dad, so it's pretty hard to make my own decisions about this. I've been inactive for about 2 months now. A few people from the KH have been coming over. My older cousin is studying w/ me, and he and his wife came over today and we had an interesting talk.

Earlier today I would've sworn that I knew what I was doing and that I'm gay and that's that. But now, after I talked to my cousin's wife for awhile, I'm not sure. She really opened up and was just one-on-one with me. She's never been that personal with me, and it was nice. I don't want to get into the whole thing, but I'm kinda torn as to what I should do.

If you're not baptized wait!!!...no baptism no control.. There may be a lot of pressure, but it leaves you a lot more options....including a relationship with your family.

I was baptized at 12 to gain the respect of my father. Ironically the baptism is what tore us apart permanently... I knew I could not live that life.](*,)
 
dmann said:
If you're not baptized wait!!!...no baptism no control.. There may be a lot of pressure, but it leaves you a lot more options....including a relationship with your family.
I agree 100%. Baptism only makes you susceptible to the stringent rules of the Watchtower, much moreso than if you remain unbaptized. If you value your relationship with your family, please follow dmann's advice.
 
Stischer47 said:
Hm, I find the discussion about baptism to be fascinating. How would being baptized subject to more control? You make it sound almost like brain-washing, not baptism.
The process leading up to baptism (at least with Jehovah's Witnesses) is considered by some to be a form of brainwashing, or at least high mind control.

If you get your hands on a copy of their magazine The Watchtower, or any of their study books, you will see that there are small questions at the bottom of each page assigned to each paragraph. Here's a (made up) example:

12. Jehovah's Witnesses are the only true religion, and only Jehovah's Witnesses will survive at Armageddon.
(bottom of page)
12. Who is the only true religion, and who will survive at Armageddon?

Obviously, there can be only one correct answer. This is the indoctrination method Jehovah's Witnesess use to gain new converts. They call this "Bible study". This method does not disappear once you become a member. Rather, it becomes more intense. Jehovah's Witnesses are required to attend five (5) meetings per week. One of these meetings is called the "Watchtower study", where the same question and answer session technique is used on the membership utilizing their official magazine. This is again applied to their weekly book study, where they study a current Watchtower publication.

Those who choose to be baptized must prove themselves worthy by participating in and completing such "Bible studies", and then proving their worth by participating in the door to door preaching work, called "field service".

Once baptized, members are bound by a strict volume of rules and edicts. Punishment can come in the form of private reproof, public reproof, or disfellowshipping. Once a baptized person is disfellowshipped, active Witnesses are forbidden to have any contact with that individual other than absolutely necessary. This includes members of one's own family. I know of many gay exJWs who have not had any contact with their families in years, some of whom were thrown out of their homes when they were expelled from the religion.

Hope this helps.....
 
Rational Lunacy...That was such a great response.:=D:

Have had no communication with my mother for over 20 years, my dad for over 10 years, and other members of the family (aunts and uncles) for 25 years.

When one of my sister's was baptized my dad forced her to call me and say that she could no longer talk or have any type of a relationship with me. We have since reconciled and have a great relationship. (she is now disfellowshiped also).

I was baptised over 30 years ago. I still remember what the speaker said. "Baptism is like signing your name to the top of a contract saying that you will follow and be bound to any provision added below whatever they may be." I was only 12 it sent chills thru me then and still does now.
 
dmann said:
I was baptised over 30 years ago. I still remember what the speaker said. "Baptism is like signing your name to the top of a contract saying that you will follow and be bound to any provision added below whatever they may be." I was only 12 it sent chills thru me then and still does now.
I was 17 when I was baptized, on July 4, 1975. As I'm sure you will recall, 1975 was the year we were all convinced Armageddon was coming. I was taught that my only guarantee of survival was to be baptized. My first words when I came out of the baptismal pool (actually, it was an over-chlorinated swimming pool at a Holiday Inn) was "I made it!".

Ostracism comes in many forms when you become a JW. My situation was different than yours. I am the only person in my family to ever become a baptized JW. Both of my parents were "opposers". In fact, my father was a Presbyterian minister! During the years I was a JW, the relationship between myself and my parents was strained at best. We often did not speak at all. I hate to admit it, but I actually prayed for their deaths, because I thought that was the only way I'd see them in the resurrection. I knew they would never convert to JW, and I was afraid they'd be destroyed at Armageddon like all JWs are taught to believe. After I was disfellowshipped, both of my parents told me "I'd rather have a gay son than a Jehovah's Witness son."

In case you've never read my JW story, it's posted here.
 
G

RationalLunacy said:
I'm a former Jehovah's Witness, ousted from the religion 25 years ago because I'm gay. I belong to the support group for gay ex Jehovah's Witnesses called A Common Bond.

Any other gay JWs or exJWs out there?

I'm sorry! I saw the title of this thread and instantly went running into the street screaming with my hands in the air! :bartshock

Back when I was "in the closet" and in love with my best-friend since Junior high, I was a member of the First United Pentacostal Church!

I introduced by best-friend to what I had found, and over the years he not only became a member of AMWAY, he also became a Jehovah's Witness! #-o

Mind you I'm not making a comparison of the two....:badgrin:

MANY years later....I'm OUT AND PROUD, and he was afraid to introduce me to his Pentacostal Bride! Not because I'm GAY, but because she's Pentacostal! :rotflmao:

He figured that I would laugh my ass off at the irony, and that she would "pray for me" knowing that as a now "Gay-Redneck-Buddhist" I can still "quote scripture" better than either of them can!

So, all that I have to offer is this..."Your perspective, is your reality!"

Which is to say, there are worse things to you can be fretting about!


NAMASTE!

(*8*)
 
In case you've never read my JW story, it's posted here.

Thanks Rational Lunacy...so many things I could relate to in your story.

For the last several weeks I have been attending a Presbyterian Church that is a fully welcoming church which invites all to life and leadership.

Also I found a common bond, I just made contact with someone there. It is really nice to talk to some who know the life in "the truth" :wave: and out of it.
 
dmann said:
Rational Lunacy...That was such a great response.:=D:

Have had no communication with my mother for over 20 years, my dad for over 10 years, and other members of the family (aunts and uncles) for 25 years.

When one of my sister's was baptized my dad forced her to call me and say that she could no longer talk or have any type of a relationship with me. We have since reconciled and have a great relationship. (she is now disfellowshiped also).

Suddenly my family walking out on me at Christmas doesn't seem so harsh.
Wow.
 
rod8099 said:
Guys I am 25 years old and grew up as one of Jehovah wittenss. I was a full time pioneer for almost 5 years. I was on Circuit Assembly parts, Convitions, you name it I had a part in it. I was the model JW. I told my family that I was gay, and that I was living with my b/f for the pas year. (yes I was inactive for the whole time). I have lost my family and understand why I have. I knew that going in. I still belive EVERYTHING. It is truly the only thing that makes since to me. Yes I have looked into other stuff. But no matter what people say, JW are GOOD people. They really try to live up to the bible laws. And yes I can NOT be one if I am gay. But I still try to live as close to them as I can. Jehovah does not tell you anything that can hurt you. They are a great org. And I do belive that being gay is a choice. And I have made that choice.(to each there own) But I am just here to say that I miss Jehovahs org. and I hope that one day I can go back and be one of Jehovahs people before its to late. So all im asking is that there is NO reason to bash Jehovahs Witnesses. Jehovah laws they are put there to protect us, not to hurt us.
rod8099, you sound like so many people I've known through the years, who are now or have been involved with the JWs and are gay. I agree with you that there are many people in the JWs who are good people. In fact, after I was disfellowshipped, one of the members of my congregation came to my house (no one else knew about this) and told me how much he admired me and how courageous he thought I was for standing up for myself as a gay man. Some years later, I corresponded with an ex-elder from my congregation (straight) who was disfellowshipped (I'm not sure what for), and said the same brother came to his house and offered him support as well. I do not believe that JWs as individuals are evil people. There are good people out there who need structure in their lives, and need to be told how to conduct themselves without freedom of thought. As long as such people exist, the JWs and other similar religions will continue to flourish. If the JWs ever ceased to exist, I have no doubt that there would be tens of thousands of people out there who would no longer have any purpose in life, i.e.: to preach and find other new converts, attend meetings 5 times a week, and to go to periodic assemblies.

Do I miss being a JW? For a long time, I missed the fellowship of like-minded people. Since A Common Bond has come into existence, I've renewed that bond of fellowship.

Do I believe the JWs have the truth? Partly. Some of their doctrines are accurate, but I've studied the Bible for the last 25 years in Hebrew and Greek, and I am convinced that the passages used to condemn homosexuality are mistranslations. You can read my conclusions here.

Remember the ancient Beroeans, who verified everything before determining if it were truth or not. If you are willing, I very strongly suggest you obtain a copy of the book Crisis of Conscience, by Raymond Franz, a former member of the JW Governing Body. You can order it on line here. It is not a JW-bashing book, and allows the reader to draw their own conclusions. It really helped me a lot.

Please join our discussion group that I linked in a previous post above. You'll be amazed at how many of us there are, and you will find all the support you could ever want!

Keep on posting, and stay in touch!
 
dmann said:
Thanks Rational Lunacy...so many things I could relate to in your story.

For the last several weeks I have been attending a Presbyterian Church that is a fully welcoming church which invites all to life and leadership.

Also I found a common bond, I just made contact with someone there. It is really nice to talk to some who know the life in "the truth" :wave: and out of it.
It's ironic that my father was a Presbyterian minister, and I left the Presbyterian church to become a JW. :eek:

Yes, I saw that you joined our discussion group. I'm one of the moderators. I don't post a lot due to my work schedule (and the amount of time I spend on JUB! ;) ), but I'm sure you'll get to know some great people. Think about coming to our convention in NYC this fall if you can. I'd love to meet some other exJW JUBbers!
 
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