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How detectable are you to other people's gaydar?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Soilwork
  • Start date Start date
S

Soilwork

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Well, if you're my friend...

a) you would never point out a person and say "Faggot". I don't hang with losers.

b) you know I'm gay anyway.


To guys out on the street... if I think they're hot and I wanna cruise them? they know.

Some of them seem kinda surprised when I cruise them.. almost taken aback, so maybe I don't come across as gay, but others beat me to the cruise, so maybe I come across as gay.

One thing to point out.. I'm not "Straight Acting". I act like me. it's not an act. some people think I look gay some people don't. But I'm never a model of straightness because I'm a model of.. well.. a gay biker from LA who listens to metal and has a large number of straight friends.
 
Well, to the casual observer I would most likely come across as straight.

I'm not trendy when it comes to clothing, nor do I even bother to try and stay up to date with fashion.

I have better things to fill my time, rather than trying to colour co-ordinate my clothing and shoes.

As for those who know me...

I think they have their suspicions..

My lack of interest in girls, my adament support of gay rights, and not to mention the forever ducking of the "So, who do you like?" question...

I suppose eventually I'll have to tell them, just looking for a good moment.
 
Frankly, I could care less if I am or NOT on anyone's detectable Gaydar, for both my Partner and I are totally OUT and want everyone to know that we're Gay, so accept it or just move on down the road....makes no, never mind to us at all!

However, for the 22 years I hid behind my Air Force Officer Commission, I worked 24/7 at staying completely OFF anyone's observations....especially that of being Gay........and it worked and I retired......

NOW, that's why I have that "screw you/it" attitude about anyone who is trying to find out my sexuality!! So, I did NOT mean to scream at you/your thread; but having to remain totally closeted for ALL those years left a lot of scars of pain all over me and I canNOT help but react unfavorably toward people trying to find out if I am Gay or NOT!

Now, I do NOT care one way or the other; but we do NOT rub our Gayness in anyone's face; but we do NOT cover it up either!

Thanks for asking! lol(*8*) (*8*) :kiss: :kiss:
 
To walker-bys on the sidewalk, I'm pretty fucking 'straight'.

Although, I have no idea why mannerisms and stances or the like are given sexuality brands anyway. I've met both sissy heteros and testosterone-ladden gays. It works in all forms really, and the day when society no longer dictates our own identities in anyway, largely or minutely, is when that will be apparent.
 
nobody ever asked me. at least not when i was walking around without my bf ;)
 
If I don't want to be... not very. If I don't care.. somewhat. If I WANT to be detectable by them... very! :p
 
I'm out. But I'm forever having to tell people or they will assume I'm straight (the horror!).

Going by workmates, I've had several jobs during college and lived in several appartments and only 3 workmates and 1 housemate caught on before I told them. They were all shrewd girls.

I'm pretty incognito I guess. I try to introduce it into conversation as quickly as possible when I start working somewhere. I'm not one of those 'Hi I'm John, I'm gay' people, or if someone says 'Hey, she's cute' I don't normally say 'Well I wouldn't know'. I prefer to just mention it naturally.

It's easier with girls I guess as I can just say of a customer 'Hey, he's hot.' and they'll be like 'LOL, I know'. With male colleagues it's more difficult cos I have to guage their personality. Some guys are still so young they have a 'I'd rather not know' attitude.

I would never lie about my sexuality or hide it, but I see no reason to tell some idiot who's gonna have a problem with it unless it comes down to that or having to lie. I worked in a newsagent with a lot of muslims when I was coming out, so that was the only really time that I worked somewhere where people did not mostly know.

I'd prefer to be a bit more obvious, I'd say I've missed attention in the past cos some cute guys thought 'nah, he's straight'.:rolleyes:
 
As Soilwork said, I'm not straight "acting" (oh, how I've grown to hate that word).

But as straight or gay, I'm just pretty vanilla. No wild hair or costumes, no affectations or oft-repeated phrases spouted in shrilly voices (nothing wrong with any of those things, but they are not me).

OTOH, most guys simply can't relate to me because I have 0% interest in any professional sports or sports teams. Zero.

But as people get to know me, they find out I'm a quiet, introspective, heart-on-the-sleeve, PollyAnna kinda guy. So, yeah, I'm not kidding anyone. People certainly have always "suspected".

(I did use my wedding ring as sort of a force-field to deflect suspicions. But as I get divorced and start to come out, I don't think anyone will be truly "shocked". Well, maybe some.)

Whatever. I'm me. And I finally like me.
 
There has been only (1) person who detected. And it was a girl. For the rest, no, I don't think I come off as gay. Then again, I don't know what people say about me behind my back...
 
That's a good point.

Yeah, I think a lot of guys delude themselves (I did this myself) that no one thinks they're gay.

Other people don't have to come right out and tell you in order to suspect you're gay or chat with their friends/coworkers/family about your potential gayness.
 
and how many people actually DO spend any time wondering whether or not someone is "gay?" and how do they label themselves? but...to answer the question...I like to think i'm easily detectable. I like to assume everyone knows I'm queer. it's not true, but it's how i like to fool myself.

not long ago i decided to embrace my highway 20 florida cowboy white trash cracker heritage, instead of running full-tilt-bozo from it, because i realized how hot I found good ole boys to be. since then, i think it takes people a little longer to figure out i'm queer.

ironically, i think horny teenage homophobic boys have the best "gaydar." does anyone else concur?
 
My best friend who I've known for 21 years was shocked when I told him I'm gay. If he didn't piece it together, I have my doubts anyone else has.
 
I once heard somebody say "What other people think about me is none of my business." How true! I do appear as a blip on some gaydars but I'm not sure why. My own gaydar has never functioned very well.
 
It depends. Some say I'm more masculine than they expected, and others say they pretty much had me figured out when I told them I was gay.
 
I don't pass as straight. People figure it out immediately when they meet me.
On the bright side, I don't have to officially come out because it would be stating the obvious.
 
i used to compare myself to the loud cowboys i grew up with and thought i was pretty obvious.

now, i dunno cuz everyone i've ever come out to has been surprised.

that's a bad thing 'cuz, you know, i always pays to advertise. ;)
 
I've never been asked if I am by people I've just met. I've never been called things on the street or had things thrown at me. I'm regularly hit on by women. But I'm regularly hit on by guys too. So I guess the answer is that straight people have no idea and gay people know. Takes one to know one, I suppose, at least in my case. ;)
 
I think I'm detectable when people talk to me and know about me. WHy? I don't talk about girls, I like gossiping and I hate sports and don't care about cars or anything and I love Xtina and pop music in general. So I'm not Elton John walking down the street but I ain't The Rock either. Oh and sometimes the ocasional taxi driver would jell something at me, which I think it's cuz I wear tight clothes. But hey I'm skinny, I can do it.
 
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