How do I stop myself from destroying a great thing?

[slobone]

^^^ I respectfully disagree. Steve should mind his own business. And you now know better (I hope) than to tell him anything you don't want Carl to hear.

The only thing that Steve's interference has accomplished is to speed up the pace a little bit. I think you need to decide whether you want to "go all the way" with Carl or not. If you do, why wait? If not, then you can just be friends, which is OK too.

What you can't do at this point is have another make out session with Carl that doesn't lead to anything. He's been very patient with you, but no guy will put up with blue balls forever.

You need to be in the same room with Carl before you can hope to straighten things out with him. Email him and say "I don't know what kind of bs Steve told you, but I think I'm entitled to a chance to tell you my side of the story. Can we get together soon?"

Good luck, dude. Sometimes you just have to go for it.

 

[pausanias_usa]

Step back a bit from all of it. If this were a friend instead of a potential lover would you think you are going too fast or not?

Treat it like a friendship; somewhat like a houseplant, a little neglect goes further than overwatering.

So I'd say "no drama" to either Carl or Steve. Give them both space to have their own relationship -- sure, they'll talk about you, just as they would any mutual friend.

 

[Eagle653]

Since the relationship is fairly new, there's not a lot to talk about long-distance since common history between the two of you hasn't had a chance to happen yet. But, it will, with time. When he's freed up from school, I hope that that's a new beginning for you two.

I'm wondering if you're just feeling kind of insecure about the longterm prospects of this thing. If so, I would think that's quite common-- and the more one likes someone, initially, the more anxious they feel about everything working out well. The last thing they want is for it to fail or fall apart, and then feel like they were to blame.

It sounds like the guy is quite smitten with you as well, and you have a well-intentioned friend running interference for you (as embarrassing as they might be). Don't worry, things will work out. Just give it time and enjoy getting to know each other.

Keep in touch and let us know what happens.

 

[Eagle653]

T I wish I could stop myself from being this way.

I know what you mean. When I was in the formation stage of the relationship I'm now in, I knew--beyond a doubt--that this man was The One. I had never fallen for anyone like that. Consequently, I was a nervous wreck that I was going to (somehow) screw it up. I had no idea, really, HOW I was going to screw it up--just that I was. I made myself crazy. Then, I was mad and frustrated with myself for making myself crazy. So...I know EXACTLY what you're going through. Take it from me, once you get some history and feel like you're building a more stable relationship, those crazy-making feelings will evaporate.

Good luck on it. It sounds like it's the beginning of something good!

 

[Riverrick]

A lot of good advice here. Try to give up some of the control of whether this relationship is going to work. Give it up to the universe or your greater power.

You might be able to relax and talk to him a little easier if you do. Good Luck!

 

[muscleboy82000]

scatterheart

best of luck with dinner and hope you have a great time. relationships are very hard to create and maintain and it takes both guys to work hard to back it work. i know because i am the king of chickening out of things and have let a few good ones slip away.

My suggestion is to communicate in an honest and open way, be aware of his feelings and concerns and have fun.

 

[Riverrick]

Sounds like things are going well!

Keep us updated!