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How do you tell if a guy is bisexual or just friendly?

Orlandude

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You spend time with them, if you and they want to, and let nature take its course.
 
You can't, only they can tell; sometimes, they themselves can't tell. Sexuality is very complicated, mysterious and personal. People naturally think and act differently, but at the same time, conventions force us to think and act a certain way...so, it's really hard to know one's true feelings. All this 'psychologizing' takes away from the beauty, mystery and spontaneity of sex (or of a relationship)...
As Orlandude had said: let nature takes its course...
 
Yeah, how they act around you isn't a good indication of their sexual orientation. There are lots of great straight guys who aren't homophobic and just want to buddy up with you. I say, look at the way they talk about other guys or guys who are considered hot.
 
true. it is hard to determine who is curious and who is just friendly. i myself have not told anyone of me being bi yet and i dont plan to anytime soon. i just act like anyone else. people think that im straight and i do some gay stuff but thats just me having fun with friends. i draw a line though in public at a certain point. its really hard to have restrictions but im used to it now.
 
Do not waste too much time trying to figure out other dudes. They may or may not want to mess around. And there are times when they do and the times when they don't.

Hardly anyone has got so much time to waste. So, start looking around for the gay dudes.

SC
 
Yeah, don't even waste energy on it unless you absolutely believe that he could be someone really special if he was open to dating you. I know its a stereotype, but if its unclear whether he's really attracted to men too, then he should be fairly masculine acting right. So just let him take the lead and he'll ask you out if he's interested.
 
This is really a hard one. Are you having trouble figuring out whether someone you know is bi, or whether strangers who are unusually friendly are bi?

I'm bi myself and have a hard time telling if another guy is bi. Let me rephrase that, I find it almost impossible to tell unless the other guy makes a move on me.

I have a couple of long time friends that I have suspected might be bi, but not sure. One of my friends has several times commented on guys checking him out in the locker room, told me a guy complimented him on his big cock, and one time when the conversation involved gay guys said he wasn't sure if he could suck cock. I admit I am denser than most, but I don't think most straight guys would be so unsure whether they could suck cock or not. When he makes these statements, I get the feeling he is waiting for me to respond, but I never do. He is such a good friend I don't want to jeopardize our friendship if I am misunderstanding him. His friendship is more important than sex (although I have to admit he is very hot and the thought has crossed my mind)

My other friend that I suspect might be bi (or even gay) has rarely dated or been involved with women since I have known him. What really makes me wonder is I've seen him checking out other guys all the time. I think he is really unconscious that he is doing it, because he is very conservative and wouldn't do anything like that so openly. Again, he is a great guy, and I would never do anything that would hurt our friendship.

As far as strangers go, that is even harder to figure out. I am not a very outgoing person myself, and am rather shy with strangers. When other guys are overly friendly, I assume that is just the way they are, although there are times I am probably being naive. There is a guy at my gym whose behaviour perplexes me. He is a young guy who doesn't give off any gay or bi vibes, but is VERY friendly and talkative in the locker room. He has struck up conversations with me in the locker room a few times, and I have seen him talk to other guys as well. That could just be chalked up to an outgoing personality, but the other thing he is always doing has me baffled. I have been in the shower with him a few times and he is always facing away from the wall when he showers. A couple of times I was opposite him and when I turned around to face out, he is facing me and starts soaping up his cock, and spends a long time doing it. The entire time I was facing him rinsing off my back, he had his hands on his dick washing it. He doesn't get hard, but is touching his cock the whole time. That is not typical straight behaviour. I know you need to wash everything, but most guys just face the shower and wash their privates. It was weird that both times I was opposite him in the shower he did this.

So, is this guy bi, or not? There are a lot of straight guys that are exhibitionists in the locker room, maybe that explains it, but it has me puzzled.
 
I know what you all mean. I've got a good mate, (who I know has dabbled in the past) and knows I'm not 100% hetro, but has (nicely) turned me down for some action in the past, stating he'd rather stay as good mates, which I'm cool with. So why then, today, when he came round today, asked if he could take a shower in my apartment, he strips off, leaves the door open and lets me see his full on erection? I didn't say anything, but am confused. Should I have commented? Or is there another reason for a guy to get hard in another guys apartment without the obvious stimuli?
 
Grab him by the balls, squeeze really tight, and ask him if he's bisexual or not....he may answer you, or you may notice the response in your hand....


Just kidding...
 
I've goofed in both directions. You can't just "let nature take its course" because then nothing will happen. A straight or "bi-curious" guy is not going to ask you first -- sooner or later you have to pop the question. And there's no way to do that without risking being embarrassed if you guessed wrong.
 
I agree with slobone. Nature can't take its course. If wait that long, the oppurtunity for anything to happen will pass. As a bi guy, who has decided not to come out, I know first hand that there are guys who are interested in guys but have not told many, including their closest friends. Honestly, I don't have much advice because I'm in a similar situation. I suggest if you really think there is a possibility that someone is bi/gay and you're interested, you should hang out with that person more often. If you develop a decent friendship, I expect you'll be comfortable enough to ask the right question and get a decent answer.

I'll get back to you when I've fully tested this theroy.
 
This is really a hard one. Are you having trouble figuring out whether someone you know is bi, or whether strangers who are unusually friendly are bi?

I'm bi myself and have a hard time telling if another guy is bi. Let me rephrase that, I find it almost impossible to tell unless the other guy makes a move on me.

I have a couple of long time friends that I have suspected might be bi, but not sure. One of my friends has several times commented on guys checking him out in the locker room, told me a guy complimented him on his big cock, and one time when the conversation involved gay guys said he wasn't sure if he could suck cock. I admit I am denser than most, but I don't think most straight guys would be so unsure whether they could suck cock or not. When he makes these statements, I get the feeling he is waiting for me to respond, but I never do. He is such a good friend I don't want to jeopardize our friendship if I am misunderstanding him. His friendship is more important than sex (although I have to admit he is very hot and the thought has crossed my mind)

My other friend that I suspect might be bi (or even gay) has rarely dated or been involved with women since I have known him. What really makes me wonder is I've seen him checking out other guys all the time. I think he is really unconscious that he is doing it, because he is very conservative and wouldn't do anything like that so openly. Again, he is a great guy, and I would never do anything that would hurt our friendship.

As far as strangers go, that is even harder to figure out. I am not a very outgoing person myself, and am rather shy with strangers. When other guys are overly friendly, I assume that is just the way they are, although there are times I am probably being naive. There is a guy at my gym whose behaviour perplexes me. He is a young guy who doesn't give off any gay or bi vibes, but is VERY friendly and talkative in the locker room. He has struck up conversations with me in the locker room a few times, and I have seen him talk to other guys as well. That could just be chalked up to an outgoing personality, but the other thing he is always doing has me baffled. I have been in the shower with him a few times and he is always facing away from the wall when he showers. A couple of times I was opposite him and when I turned around to face out, he is facing me and starts soaping up his cock, and spends a long time doing it. The entire time I was facing him rinsing off my back, he had his hands on his dick washing it. He doesn't get hard, but is touching his cock the whole time. That is not typical straight behaviour. I know you need to wash everything, but most guys just face the shower and wash their privates. It was weird that both times I was opposite him in the shower he did this.

So, is this guy bi, or not? There are a lot of straight guys that are exhibitionists in the locker room, maybe that explains it, but it has me puzzled.

I say bi, bi/gay, straight.
 
^^^ Yeah, when I first came out I confined my cruising to gay bars, because I figured there at least I didn't need to worry about faulty gaydar (except for the guy who told me he was 100% straight just after he finished fucking me. Gosh if I'd known that, I would have had to find another explanation for the big fucking hardon he got when we were sitting next to each other in the bar.)

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, after a couple of years of that, I began to get adventurous and speculate whether all those guys making eye contact in the mall, etc., might not be up for a little quick whatchamacallit.

But the basic rule for these impromptu pickups is, act quickly. Ten minutes from now he might not be in the mood anymore.
 
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