If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

[eastofeden]

I kinda like this thread.

 

[TX-Beau]

I kinda like this thread.

...If you stroke my Mary I'll kiss yours...

 

[xbuzzerx]

I kinda like this thread.

I like you.

 

[pat grimshaw]

I kinda like this thread.

Really? I think it's just like the Balkan Wars.

Lots of macho vilification but no resolution or conciliation.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Shots fired.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

Interesting point and also interesting that you would pick rap as the example.

I get it if someone is a bit of a flake and they're outside a concert with a poster complaining about satan's music and being obnoxious or something. But there are lots of things I can say I dislike and it's totally normal.

If I say I hate broccoli, someone might laugh and say "how can you say that? Broccoli is great!" But nobody gets upset that I hate broccoli. It's socially okay to hate broccoli. Unless maybe some PETA extremist calls me a closed minded anti-broccolist nature murderer or something.

So why is rap-hating any different? There are people who don't want it to be socially okay to hate rap and I'm interested why. Are they just like extremist vegans? If so there is an old saying that it is important to be disliked by the right people. But why do some people take it personally if you hate rap as much as broccoli.

Probably because the approach - in this instance - is usually laced personally. Saying that rap isn't real music, or that rappers represent a lower subset of society, or they add grade school insults into the mix("you can't spell crap without rap" - which is oh-so-very-clever). It's all about intent.

In the same vein, that line of thinking is probably why people dislike straight-acting that much more - it's seen personally.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

In the same vein, that line of thinking is probably why people dislike straight-acting that much more - it's seen personally.

Huh... Do you think it boils down to basic jealousy because some can pull it off and blend in, where others cannot?

Interesting theory.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

Huh... Do you think it boils down to basic jealousy because some can pull it off and blend in, where others cannot?

Interesting theory.

Not exactly - I think they see it as more of a superior vs inferior thing; as if straight-acting carries the implied "I'm better because I'm normal" sort of slight that people are usually against. Don't know why anyone would want to boast about being normal when there isn't such a thing, but that's just me.

 

[xbuzzerx]

I think they see it

^ But does that reflect on them or you?

 

[TX-Beau]

Huh... Do you think it boils down to basic jealousy because some can pull it off and blend in, where others cannot?

Interesting theory.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

^ But does that reflect on them or you?

You'd have to actually ask them; I don't identify by the terminology in question.

 

[TX-Beau]

You'd have to actually ask them; I don't identify by the terminology in question.

I identify, I spent enough of my youth playing this idiotic game I feel perfectly ENTITLED to say, that "SA" is only and simply and always will be a way a gay guy tries not to be a gay guy - and yes, it's that simple.

 

[Kahaih]

Huh... Do you think it boils down to basic jealousy because some can pull it off and blend in, where others cannot?

Interesting theory.

I know you are not that stupid.

I'm surprised to see you playing that manipulative and malicious bullshit.

I'm deeply disappointed. Truly.

 

[Kulindahr]

Do you guys realize that it´s an expression, and like most expression it´s not meant to be taken literally. We all know what straight acting means. Well, some of us do. How is telling someone not to describe themselves as straight-acting different than telling someone not to describe themselves as flamboyant or feminine? So stop this crap with ¨how straight are you if you suck a dick?¨ Straight and straight acting are 2 different things, even if they use the same word.

Well said.


Given all the protestations of "no one's actually answered me!" coupled with "I want real discussion!", I'd like to note that I haven't seen any actual response from the "It's EEEE-VIL!" crowd to my previous post -- so here it is again:

Wow. I gave up actually reading before I finished the second page, and just skimmed after that.

Let's look at the word "act". As an example: "She acts like a baby." The speaker isn't saying the gal is putting on an act, like an actor, but that her actions, taken together, resemble those of a baby. Turn those words into a different way of saying it, and you have "baby-acting".

Saying someone is "X-acting" merely means that observation of their actions shows that they resemble someone who is X. In reality it makes no judgment as to whether it's an act, or just the natural way the person is.

So also "straight-acting": all it means is that if a person's actions over time were observed by an average person, they'd never guess the guy was gay -- his actions say "straight". It doesn't mean the guy is acting, i.e. putting on an act, it just means that judging by his actions he appears to be straight. It's not good, it;s not bad, it just is -- and the only way to know more is to get to know the guy and find out if it's an act, or just natural.

I can think of a number of reasons a guy might be straight-acting, from trying to hide he's gay to having been so indoctrinated while growing up that any actions that weren't "straight" got suppressed. They both happen to deserve our pity -- the first because the guy lacks the balls to be himself, and the second 'cause the guy was so abused he never had the freedom to be himself. Although I'll make an exception: any gay guy where I grew up who wasn't straight-acting would have had a very high probability of not finishing growing up. Even eight years ago guys here had to be very careful -- one at where my best buddy worked was beat up, most of his ribs broken deliberately, because some others at work thought he was checking them out. The only openly gay couple in town has better security than people I knew in Gary, Indiana, where steel bars across doors to supplement dead bolts and chains weren't uncommon.

The real tragedy here is that some people are so arrogant and self-righteous that they can be judgmental and dismissive without every getting to know a person.

I'm just going to add here that it could be argued that condemning people who use "straight-acting" is indeed oppressive, because it will result in people taking on mannerisms ascribed to stereotypical gays, not because it is who they are but because they don't want to be screeched at.

... and that blanket condemnation of all people who use a term, without getting to know them and grasp why they use it and what they mean by it, is shallow -- very shallow.

 

[Kulindahr]

I identify, I spent enough of my youth playing this idiotic game I feel perfectly ENTITLED to say, that "SA" is only and simply and always will be a way a gay guy tries not to be a gay guy - and yes, it's that simple.

Excellent example of someone who isn't actually reading the thread.

 

[TX-Beau]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

Bullshit Kuli. People are not going to become someone else because someone calls that SA shit what it is.

Suck it up.

Now I am going to go watch a musical and drink something pink.

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

Excellent example of someone who isn't actually reading the thread.

Excellent example of someone who calls your shit what it is.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

I identify, I spent enough of my youth playing this idiotic game I feel perfectly ENTITLED to say, that "SA" is only and simply and always will be a way a gay guy tries not to be a gay guy - and yes, it's that simple.

Except that, it's not that simple - and, you've really just pointed out one of the major problems with the term; that people try not to be seen as "gay" - as if there is something wrong with that - therefore, acting as something else. One could say, acting as something they clearly aren't.

 

[TX-Beau]

Yeah, it's pretty much just that simple. We all know why this happens.

 

[TX-Beau]

There really is no mystery.

 

[JayHawk]

So much 'ta-do' over the oppressed emotions of others. lol