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in love with 3 guys!what shall i do?

kurtwild

kurtwild

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i have a difficult situation here! 3 months ago i had a boyfriend,he was great.and we were really happy but then i cheated on him with a handsom guy and when he found out we broke up.i was really sad.one month ago i got in a relationship with that handsom guy but after a week i met an other guy,who is absolutelly cute,just adorable and now im with him!the problem is i havent broken up with the handsom guy and i dont want to hurt him! i mean i love him.except of that the guy i was with,3 months ago visited me this week and apologized.what shall i do now? i love them all!:confused:
 
Couple of things:

Choose one, you like most and stick with that guy, if you can.

Tell them all that you love them all, but that you do not want to be committed to anyone in particular. They can take it or leave it.

---
Make sure, you have a plan at hand for the fourth dude, who is just round the corner.

SC
 
i want to stay with one guy but i dont know who to pick!the first one was my best friend for 5 years and i cant hurt him.the new one is the cutest creature i have ever seen and i think im very much in love with him.but how will i know if i ll still be so in love in the future? what if i lose my best friend cos i ll tell him that im in love with someone else?and what if the new guy turns out to be my dreamguy? i guess i can try and leave out the handsom guy.
 
I question whether you are in love with any of the three. You've got a long-term friendship with one guy and a crush on two others. When you are truly in love with someone you will know that he is the one you want to be wholeheartedly committed to. You will know. When it happens, nobody else will matter.

I'm not criticizing you. Infatuations are great fun and perfectly normal. I'm just pointing out that you aren't really in love yet. You don't build a deep, loving relationship on cute.
 
I find it a little hard to feel bad for you. I don't think its any of these guys' faults that you can't make up your mind. Personally I would say do all three of them a favor and leave them all alone...
 
Let's see...

1) You cheated on your boyfriend, who you were great friends with already, for some guy you describe as 'the handsome guy.'

2) Then you started going out with 'the handsome guy' who you say you love but ended up cheating on him.

3) Finally, you cheat on 'the handsome guy' for some cute guy you just met.

I'm going to have to go with gotdimples77's advice. Leave them all. Stop hurting them. You say you love them, which in my opinion is highly unlikely, but you cheat on them constantly. Leave them all and stop making them suffer. Maybe your just horny and need fuck-buddies instead of boyfriends. Because it seems to me that if these guys really love you back...your being a real jerk to them. Sorry if that sounds harsh. I just want you to be considerate of their feelings because maybe you haven't taken that into account.
 
bw92116 said:
Send them to my house and start over.
Click to expand...

~snicker~

Sorry, but that was funny.

Dude (kurt) you're young. Okay, so am I, but I've grown up a lot in the last 4 years, I had to. And I perfectly understand how tempting it is to hook up with this guy and that guy. But there are many things to consider. For one thing, I REALLY hope you're using protection. A guy doesn't have to look sick to be sick.

Okay, end of that lecture.

Secondly, you need to stop and take these other guys' feelings into consideration. Maybe they're the 'love 'em and leave 'em' type and they don't care what you do or who you go out with. But one-up them and be better than that and try to care about how they feel. I agree with the others, either pick one and stick with him or leave them ALL be.

How do they feel about you? Are any of them 'in love' with you like you say you're in love with them? And how can you be 'in love' with one guy when you're contemplating getting it on with another? When I love someone, I don't even wanna THINK about any other guys. Because that one guy becomes the center of my attention, he's all I think about.

I think you're using your terms a little too loosely.
 
Choose one whom you can be emotionally attached with the most, forget the looks for a moment. You need someone who can be there for through ups and downs, not just to jump in bed with. Choose someone who shares your dreams and understands your fears, someone who values you as a person..........:)
 
its not like i cheated on the first one cos i just met a handsom guy.i was drunk that night and in a fight with the first guy.and i was with the handsome guy after i broke up with the first guy.ok,lets say im not so in love with the handsome guy.
we just have great sex.

i told him last night that im seeing the cute guy and he was a bit mad,but i think he ll be fine.

but with the cute guy its different.we do everything together and we are the same in everything.i dont want him to leave me!

and how should i know that the first one would come and say sorry?

he knows im with the cute guy now but he called me again this morning!

i think he wants us to be together again and i love him.

im really sad!
 
You shouldn't try to justify your actions by making excuses. You cheated on your boyfriend...the first time...plain and simple whether you were drunk or not. You could have easily apologized and told him the truth. But you didn't. You used the fight you were having with your boyfriend to justify your actions of cheating, eventually breaking up with him all together.

But anyways...

You told the handsome guy you were seeing the cute guy? You say that went well? Did you tell him the whole truth? Or leave out parts to make it seem not so bad?

Its your choice to make on who you want to continue seeing. You apparently like/love all of them in some way or another. Whether it be great sex to a great personality. You've gotten yourself into a nice little problem here. But...if you have to choose...pick the one you enjoy with being the most...not just physically but regarding everything else. The one who makes you laugh or the one you think you have the most in common with. Just pick one or none at all. If you want to fuck then so do responsibly. Just don't drag someone's heart through the mud.
 
Tut tut...

You are young and confused, a place most of us have been.

But can you honestly say you love them all ? You need to think carefully about what it is to be in love with someone.

Pick the one who has the most things to like about them, I don't just mean how handsome they are. Then stop messing the others about.

... send the other two to me!

Good luck!
 
You don't love any of them. I don't think you understand what love really is. You have a sexual infatuation where each fulfills a part of your desire.

With that clarified, I think each of them would be better off without you. I'm not being mean; its just the reality of the situation. They want a relationship and you do not have the maturity to give it to them. Stay single for awhile longer.
 
ok. i might not be in love with them,the way you mean it. but i love them,i care about them and i wanna spend my time with them.we dont just fuck!

we go together to the movies and have fun.and when they have a problem i try to help them and it goes the other way round too.

so its not that i want them for just sex or something.

i dont wanna loose them.
 
Those are what we like to call friends. We hang out with friends. We go to the movies with friends. We help our friends with their problems and vice versa. What you described in your post above was something that I would consider friend-like behavior.
 
Broke Straight Boys
guys,please dont critisize me! i need some support!and i didnt do all that on purpose,it just happened!

i dont know what to do now.i dont wanna loose them!

(thanks for calling me pretty)
 
come on you present me like im a demon:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: (!) (!) :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin:
ok, i made mistakes,i admit it,but i dont know what to do now.i i dont know how i feel,im really confused!
 
I'm not gonna judge you on cheating, since frankly I know what it's like to get into bad situations... Am I the only one who sees that this guy needs advice, not a slap on the wrist? It seems like he's a bad guy for cheating on someone, but the heat of the moment does things you regret, and everyone has good intentions that don't work out - which I suspect to have caused a lot of these problems. I will admit, this goes beyond mistake and into monumental cock-up, but he didn't ask to be judged. He asked for help to fix the situation.

You're really going to have to break it off with one of them. When you look at them, which do you think you could see yourself living with? Which do you think you would never tire of? It appears you did tire of your ex, since you cheated on him. And again, you cheated on the handsome guy meaning that you must have got tired of him too.

I accept you probably care for all of them, but you need to consider the fact that if you care for them, then cheating is just going to make them feel horrible. If you care that much, you've gotta stop that before it goes any further. Do not get back into a relationship with your ex right now... three-timing is just going to make things worse. You need to break off with one of them gently, and then work out which of the other two you want to be with.

And from now onwards, think VERY carefully before you get into another relationship, whether you're going to just end up hurting him.
 
thank you! you are nice.


i think you are right,i know i have to choose one.

right now i think i really wanna stay with the cute guy,its just that i dont wanna hurt and loose my first friend!


thanks again!
 
How were we not being nice? We were telling you exactly what you needed to hear. We chose to tell you the honest truth and you chose to see that as being mean. We told you to choose one or break up with all of them. I'm sorry if I, and anyone else, were being mean in telling you not to fuck around with other people's feelings.
 
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