Sometimes I have my doubts.
How would you define what a friend IS and SHOULD be?
In my definition anyways, a friend is someone who you have a lot in common with, and as a result, want to do things together to support and entertain each other.
It seems, "in common" is the key. Can you be really good friends with someone you dont have things in common with? Likley not. You just dont interest each other, and wanting to do different things all the time, while one person hates it, would not work.
All this raises this question: Can you be true friends with a guy who is straight?
To get an idea of how I came to this, I'll refer to my experience.
Before I came out to my friends, they obviously thought I was straight, and as a result, they thought I wanted a girl. Girls are something guys talk about all the time. Its something guys always comment about. Lets face it, the world is sexual, and everything we do somehow relates back to that.
My brother yesterday mentioned how he loved hanging out with one of his friends because they have a lot in common. One of those things is that they talk a lot about girls. He obviously cant do that with me and I got a sense that he was dissapointed and saddened by that fact. Of course my relationship with my brother is much more then that, he is my blood, and our relationship goes much farther than that. However, there is a sense, that is one thing we cant do and in some way it is abit of a downer.
However, when you consider your friends, it seems like a much bigger thing. Now, not so much when you are younger, but the older that I get, the bigger problem it seems to be.
When I was younger, you play computer games with your friends, you play sports, you go to the movies, you go over to each other house, and in many ways, everything that you do, its quiet innocent. Its not so much even that however, its the fact that you are young, and sex is not number 1 yet, or its not out there anyways. The things you discuss with your friends are different. Your head is into these activities almost totally.
So now you fast forward, I have known most of my friends for at least 4 years, some up to 8 or so. Now, we are adults. We are no longer children or young adults. Sex seems to the big thing. Our interests have changed. Its not surprising, but it is a wake up call in some ways, an eye opener so to say. My friends are talking about girls, gf's, some even discussing marriage and children and the only thing I can think of while they are saying this is: "I have nothing in common with these people" Girls do not interest me. I dont think I want to get married. And I doubt I will have children.
Now as an adult, we go clubbing, go to bars (straight of course) and hooking up, sex, and all that is the big thing.
I have mostly accepting friends, and I think it comes down to that. It also comes down to comfortability. I guess its not so much that you cant have a true straight friend, but it seems its increasingly difficult to find ones that are straight, accepting and comfortable with the situation. Accepting meaning that they accept that you are gay and they are "ok" with it, but comfortability means that they have no reservations and they do not find the situation "weird", "ackward" or anything like that.
Thoughts?
How would you define what a friend IS and SHOULD be?
In my definition anyways, a friend is someone who you have a lot in common with, and as a result, want to do things together to support and entertain each other.
It seems, "in common" is the key. Can you be really good friends with someone you dont have things in common with? Likley not. You just dont interest each other, and wanting to do different things all the time, while one person hates it, would not work.
All this raises this question: Can you be true friends with a guy who is straight?
To get an idea of how I came to this, I'll refer to my experience.
Before I came out to my friends, they obviously thought I was straight, and as a result, they thought I wanted a girl. Girls are something guys talk about all the time. Its something guys always comment about. Lets face it, the world is sexual, and everything we do somehow relates back to that.
My brother yesterday mentioned how he loved hanging out with one of his friends because they have a lot in common. One of those things is that they talk a lot about girls. He obviously cant do that with me and I got a sense that he was dissapointed and saddened by that fact. Of course my relationship with my brother is much more then that, he is my blood, and our relationship goes much farther than that. However, there is a sense, that is one thing we cant do and in some way it is abit of a downer.
However, when you consider your friends, it seems like a much bigger thing. Now, not so much when you are younger, but the older that I get, the bigger problem it seems to be.
When I was younger, you play computer games with your friends, you play sports, you go to the movies, you go over to each other house, and in many ways, everything that you do, its quiet innocent. Its not so much even that however, its the fact that you are young, and sex is not number 1 yet, or its not out there anyways. The things you discuss with your friends are different. Your head is into these activities almost totally.
So now you fast forward, I have known most of my friends for at least 4 years, some up to 8 or so. Now, we are adults. We are no longer children or young adults. Sex seems to the big thing. Our interests have changed. Its not surprising, but it is a wake up call in some ways, an eye opener so to say. My friends are talking about girls, gf's, some even discussing marriage and children and the only thing I can think of while they are saying this is: "I have nothing in common with these people" Girls do not interest me. I dont think I want to get married. And I doubt I will have children.
Now as an adult, we go clubbing, go to bars (straight of course) and hooking up, sex, and all that is the big thing.
I have mostly accepting friends, and I think it comes down to that. It also comes down to comfortability. I guess its not so much that you cant have a true straight friend, but it seems its increasingly difficult to find ones that are straight, accepting and comfortable with the situation. Accepting meaning that they accept that you are gay and they are "ok" with it, but comfortability means that they have no reservations and they do not find the situation "weird", "ackward" or anything like that.
Thoughts?
