The CW Unveils Melrose Place 2.0 Characters:
Monday it was reported that Smallville executive producers, Darren Swimmer and Todd Slavkin would be helming The CW's long-rumored reboot of the original Melrose Place.
Now, the green network is revealing more about the characters that it will feature. If you're a fan of the original like I am, the following may be disappointing since the "new" characters are just archetypes of the originals, with different names.
Jake Hanson and Amanda Woodward are now David Patterson and Ella Flynn. David is described as "Melrose royalty" since he's the the now-grown son of the original Jake, with the "taut abs and thick black book to prove it." Ella is David's "omnisexual lover," who is described as a "PR whiz whose tongue is as sharp as her stilettos."
Yeah, right. If it ain't Amanda, I don't buy it.
Remember Billy Campbell and Allison Parker, portrayed by Andrew Shue and Courtney Thorne-Smith? Jonah Miller and Riley Richmond will fill their shoes. Jonah is described as a "Kevin Smith wannabe" while Riley will play his "schoolteacher fiancee," who loves the nightlife of California.
Boring!
Of course, you have to have a gay character, right? Back when the show was popular, Doug Savant, who has matured so gracefully since then, was one of few actors who portrayed a character. Instead of Matt Fielding, 2.0 will feature a character named Auggie Kirkpatrick, a "hunky hippie" who struggles with sobriety (as a recovering alcoholic). The description doesn't explicitly say he's gay, but if he's replacing Matt Fielding, I would imagine he would be.
Remember the boring Jane Mancini, Michael Mancini's first wife? Her shoes will be filled by the character of Lauren Bishop, a "straight-arrow medical student" who falls on "hard times," which force her to be 2.0's resident prostitute, selling her body for money. LOL.
No word on whether Violet Foster, the archetype of Sydney Andrews (Jane Mancini's sister in the original), is related to Lauren Bishop, but she'll be a "small-town teen" who will play "the sex kitten till you're ready to bare your claws."
Right. Well, that's it for character descriptions. As of now, there are no actors attached to the potential characters.
So far, 2.0 sounds like a big, fat, steamy cowpie that will hardly live up to the original.
Plus, if they're making "Ella Flynn," the new Amanda, that still brings up the issue of whether Heather Locklear will reprise her role as Woodward. It could still happen. What if Amanda is now the president of D&D Advertising instead of just a Vice President like she was before? She could still arrive on set to put Ella in her place, but even if that was the source material, it's not juicy enough for Heather.
I'm stunned there's no Kimberly Shaw, who well all know to be Melrose's resident psycho. Then again, The CW might be playing the field rather safe much like Fox did in the beginning when the series was still in utero.
We'll see. At this point, I'm just hoping "Ella Flynn" has no relation to Errol Flynn! Auggie Kirkpatrick is another red flag. Come on, CW. Change the names if you know what's good for you!
