AMERICAN BEAUTY:
Ricky Fitts: You're right, I suck dick for money.
Colonel Frank Fitts: Boy...
Ricky Fitts: Two thousand dollars, I'm that good.
Colonel Frank Fitts: Get out.
Ricky Fitts: And you should see me fuck. I'm the best piece of ass in three states.
Colonel Frank Fitts: Get out! I don't ever want to see you again.
Ricky Fitts: What a sad old man you are.
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Lester Burnham: Smile! You're at Mr. Smiley's.
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Lester Burnham: I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast.
Jim Olmeyer: Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?
Lester Burnham: I want to look good naked!
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Lester Burnham: Look at me, jerking off in the shower... This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.
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Carolyn Burnham: Fuck me, your majesty!
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Brad Dupree: Man, you are one twisted fuck.
Lester Burnham: Nope, I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose.
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Ricky Fitts: Excuse me for speaking so bluntly sir. But those fags make me want to puke my fucking guts out.
Colonel Frank Fitts: [cautiously, after a long pause] Well, me too son. Me too.
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Ricky Fitts: It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.
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Catering Boss: I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here.
Ricky Fitts: Fine. So don't pay me.
Catering Boss: Excuse me?
Ricky Fitts: I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone.
Catering Boss: ...asshole.
Lester Burnham: I think you just became my personal hero!
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Lester Burnham: Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die.
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Lester Burnham: How's Jane?
Angela Hayes: What do you mean?
Lester Burnham: I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable? I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it.
Angela Hayes: She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love.
Lester Burnham: Good for her.
Angela Hayes: How are you?
Lester Burnham: God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that... I'm great.
Angela Hayes: I've gotta go to the bathroom.
Lester Burnham: I'm great.
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Lester Burnham: [narrating] I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.
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Lester Burnham: [narrating] That's my wife, Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident.
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Lester Burnham: So Janie, how was school?
Jane Burnham: It was okay.
Lester Burnham: Just okay?
Jane Burnham: No dad, it was spectacular.
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Carolyn Burnham: Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!
Lester Burnham: On what grounds? I'm not a drunk, I don't fuck other women, I've never hit you, I don't mistreat you... I don't even try to touch you since you've made it so abundantly clear how unnecessary you consider me to be! But I did support you when you got your license, and some people might think that entitles me to half of what's yours. So, turn off the light when you come to bed!
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Jane Burnham: I don't think we can be friends anymore.
Angela Hayes: You're way too uptight about sex.
Jane Burnham: Just don't fuck my dad, all right? Please?
Angela Hayes: Why not?
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Lester Burnham: [narrating] Janie's a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her.
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Jim Olmeyer: Hello! We're your neighbors from two doors down and we just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood!
[handing the Colonel a gift basket]
Jim "JB" Berkely: Everything's from our garden, except for the pasta.
Jim Olmeyer: Yes, it's from Fizzoli's, it's amazingly fresh, you just pop it in water and it's done! I'm Jim Olmeyer.
[shakes the Colonel's hand]
Jim Olmeyer: And this is my partner Jim.
Jim "JB" Berkely: Jim Berkely, but people call me J.B.
[extends his hand to shake]
Colonel Frank Fitts: Ah, let's just cut to it, what are you selling?
Jim Olmeyer: Nothing, we just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.
Colonel Frank Fitts: You said you're partners, so, uh what's your business?
Jim Olmeyer: Well, he's a tax attorney.
Jim "JB" Berkely: And he's an anesthesiologist.
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Ricky Fitts: [after Ricky's dad beats him up] Mom, I'm leaving.
Barbara Fitts: OK. Wear a raincoat.
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Angela Hayes: I was hoping you'd give me a bath. I'm very, very dirty.