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Movie Quotes

pacz

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"First of all... Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette, Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the smurf village. But the overwhelming Goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her into the Smurfette we all know and love. As for the whole gang-bang scenerio... it just couldn't happen. Smurffs are asexual. They probably don't even have reproductive organs down there under those little white pants. The only reason they exist is because of magic spells and witchcraft... which is all a bunch of bullshit if you ask me. That's what's so illogical about the smurfs... what's the point of living if you don't have a dick?"

- Donnie Darko
 
](*,) ](*,)

Film: "The Heiress"- Olivia de Havilland, Sir Ralph Richardson, Montgomery Clift.

From the novel, "Washington Square," by Henry James


Catherine Sloper:
He's grown greedier over the years. Before he only wanted my money; now he wants my love as well. Well, he came to the wrong house - and he came twice. I shall see that he does not come a third time.

Austin Sloper (Her Father): You have found a tongue at last, Catherine. 'Tis only to say such terrible things to me.

Catharine Sloper: Yes, I can be very cruel. I have been taught by masters.

Catherine Sloper: Yes. This is a field where you will not compare me to my mother.
 
](*,) ](*,)

The Film: Women in Love" - Alan Bates, Oliver Reed, Glenda Jackson


From the novel by D.H. Lawrence.

The final words from the book and the film.

:cry:

They went away. Gerald was taken to England, to be buried. Birkin and Ursula accompanied the body, along with one of Gerald's brothers. It was the Crich brothers and sisters who insisted on the burial in England. Birkin wanted to leave the dead man in the Alps, near the snow. But the family was strident, loudly insistent.

Gudrun went to Dresden. She wrote no particulars of herself. Ursula stayed at the Mill with Birkin for a week or two. They were both very quiet.

`Did you need Gerald?' she asked one evening.

`Yes,' he said.

`Aren't I enough for you?' she asked.

`No,' he said. `You are enough for me, as far as a woman is concerned. You are all women to me. But I wanted a man friend, as eternal as you and I are eternal.'

`Why aren't I enough?' she said. `You are enough for me. I don't want anybody else but you. Why isn't it the same with you?'

`Having you, I can live all my life without anybody else, any other sheer intimacy. But to make it complete, really happy, I wanted eternal union with a man too: another kind of love,' he said.

`I don't believe it,' she said. `It's an obstinacy, a theory, a perversity.'

`Well --' he said.

`You can't have two kinds of love. Why should you!'

It seems as if I can't,' he said. `Yet I wanted it.'

`You can't have it, because it's false, impossible,' she said.

`I don't believe that,' he answered.

:=D: :=D: :=D:
 
"I wouldn't suck your lousy dick if I were suffocating and there were oxygen in your balls!!"

Taffy - Female Trouble
 
Nurse Tate: I'll get the lubricant...
Dr. Paulson: No time for lubricant!
Harry Block: There's ALWAYS time for lubricant!

(Evolution)
 
Doctor: What are you doing here, honey? You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets.
Cecilia: Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a 13-year-old girl.
THE VIRGIN SUICIDES
 
A few I like from the two "Kill Bill" movies.

-------------------------

Copperhead: So I suppose it's a little late for an apology, huh?

The Bride: You suppose correctly.

Copperhead: You have every right to want to get even.

The Bride: No. No. To get even? Even-Steven? I would have to kill you, go up to Nikki's room, kill her, then wait for your husband to come home, and kill him. That would be even, Vernita. That'd be about square.

--------------------------

Elle Driver: Thought that was pretty fuckin' funny didn't you? Word of advice, shithead - don't you ever wake up.

--------------------------

O-Ren Ishii: As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced that a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is... I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!

-------------------------

Copperhead: So when do we do this?

The Bride: It all depends on when do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?

Copperhead: How about tonight, bitch?

The Bride: Splendid, where?

-------------------------

The Bride: Your name is Buck, right? And you came here to fuck... RIGHT?

-------------------------

The Bride: Bitch, you can stop right there. Just because I have no wish to murder you before the eyes of your daughter, does not mean parading her around in front of me is going to inspire sympathy. You and I have unfinished business. And not a goddamn fuckin' thing you've done in the subsequent four years, including getting knocked up, is going to change that.

-------------------------

The Bride: As I lay in the back of Buck's truck, trying to will my limbs out of entropy, I could see the faces of the cunts that did this to me and the dick responsible. Members all of Bill's brainchild - the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. When fortune smiles on something as violent and ugly as revenge, it seems proof like no other, that God exists, and not only does He exist, you're doing His will.

-------------------------

Buck: Now here are the rules. Rule Number One: no punching her. The nurse comes in tomorrow and she got a shiner or less some teeth, jig's up. So, no knuckle sandwiches under no circumstances. And by the way, this little cunt's a spitter. It's a motor-reflex thing. But spit or not, no punching. Now, are we absolutely, positively clear on Rule Number One?

Trucker: Yeah.

Buck: Good. Now, Rule Number Two: no monkey bites, and no hickeys. In fact, no leaving no marks of any kind on her. After that, it's all good, buddy. Now, her plumbing down there don't work no more, so feel free to come in her all you want. Keep the noise down, try not to make a mess. I'll be back in twenty.

[Buck starts to leave, but snaps his fingers and turns back]

Buck: Oh, shit! By the way, not every time but sometimes this chick's cooch will get drier than a bucket of sand. If she's dry, just lube up with this...

-----------------------

The Bride: [after finally getting her big toe to move] Hard part's over. Now let's get these other piggies wiggling.

-----------------------

Bill: Superman stands alone. Superman did not become Superman, Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he is Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red S is the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears, the glasses the business suit, that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak, unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race, sort of like Beatrix Kiddo and Mrs. Tommy Plumpton.

------------------------

BILL: He taught you the five-point-palm exploding heart technique?

THE BRIDE: Of course he did.

BILL: Why didn't you tell me?

THE BRIDE: I don't know... because... I'm a... bad person.

BILL: No. You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my favorite person. But every once in awhile...you can be a real cunt.
 
from Carrie
(Carrie's mom)
I could smell the cheap roadhouse wiskey on his breath, and I liked it....I LIKED IT!


from steel magnolias

DRINK YOUR JUICE SHELBY!
 
AMERICAN BEAUTY:

Ricky Fitts: You're right, I suck dick for money.

Colonel Frank Fitts: Boy...

Ricky Fitts: Two thousand dollars, I'm that good.

Colonel Frank Fitts: Get out.

Ricky Fitts: And you should see me fuck. I'm the best piece of ass in three states.

Colonel Frank Fitts: Get out! I don't ever want to see you again.

Ricky Fitts: What a sad old man you are.

--------------------------

Lester Burnham: Smile! You're at Mr. Smiley's.

--------------------------

Lester Burnham: I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast.

Jim Olmeyer: Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?

Lester Burnham: I want to look good naked!

--------------------------

Lester Burnham: Look at me, jerking off in the shower... This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.

--------------------------

Carolyn Burnham: Fuck me, your majesty!

--------------------------

Brad Dupree: Man, you are one twisted fuck.

Lester Burnham: Nope, I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose.

--------------------------

Ricky Fitts: Excuse me for speaking so bluntly sir. But those fags make me want to puke my fucking guts out.

Colonel Frank Fitts: [cautiously, after a long pause] Well, me too son. Me too.

--------------------------

Ricky Fitts: It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.

--------------------------

Catering Boss: I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here.

Ricky Fitts: Fine. So don't pay me.

Catering Boss: Excuse me?

Ricky Fitts: I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone.

Catering Boss: ...asshole.

Lester Burnham: I think you just became my personal hero!

--------------------------

Lester Burnham: Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die.

---------------------------

Lester Burnham: How's Jane?

Angela Hayes: What do you mean?

Lester Burnham: I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable? I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it.

Angela Hayes: She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love.

Lester Burnham: Good for her.

Angela Hayes: How are you?

Lester Burnham: God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that... I'm great.

Angela Hayes: I've gotta go to the bathroom.

Lester Burnham: I'm great.

--------------------------

Lester Burnham: [narrating] I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.

---------------------------------

Lester Burnham: [narrating] That's my wife, Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident.

---------------------------------

Lester Burnham: So Janie, how was school?

Jane Burnham: It was okay.

Lester Burnham: Just okay?

Jane Burnham: No dad, it was spectacular.

--------------------------------

Carolyn Burnham: Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!

Lester Burnham: On what grounds? I'm not a drunk, I don't fuck other women, I've never hit you, I don't mistreat you... I don't even try to touch you since you've made it so abundantly clear how unnecessary you consider me to be! But I did support you when you got your license, and some people might think that entitles me to half of what's yours. So, turn off the light when you come to bed!

-------------------------

Jane Burnham: I don't think we can be friends anymore.

Angela Hayes: You're way too uptight about sex.

Jane Burnham: Just don't fuck my dad, all right? Please?

Angela Hayes: Why not?

------------------------

Lester Burnham: [narrating] Janie's a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her.

------------------------

Jim Olmeyer: Hello! We're your neighbors from two doors down and we just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood!

[handing the Colonel a gift basket]

Jim "JB" Berkely: Everything's from our garden, except for the pasta.

Jim Olmeyer: Yes, it's from Fizzoli's, it's amazingly fresh, you just pop it in water and it's done! I'm Jim Olmeyer.

[shakes the Colonel's hand]

Jim Olmeyer: And this is my partner Jim.

Jim "JB" Berkely: Jim Berkely, but people call me J.B.

[extends his hand to shake]

Colonel Frank Fitts: Ah, let's just cut to it, what are you selling?

Jim Olmeyer: Nothing, we just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.

Colonel Frank Fitts: You said you're partners, so, uh what's your business?

Jim Olmeyer: Well, he's a tax attorney.

Jim "JB" Berkely: And he's an anesthesiologist.

--------------------------

Ricky Fitts: [after Ricky's dad beats him up] Mom, I'm leaving.

Barbara Fitts: OK. Wear a raincoat.

--------------------------

Angela Hayes: I was hoping you'd give me a bath. I'm very, very dirty.
 
From Angels in America:

Harper Pitt: I burned dinner.
Joe Pitt: I'm sorry.
Harper Pitt: Not my dinner, my dinner was fine. Your dinner. I put it back in the oven and turned everything up as high as it could go and I watched 'til it burned black. It's still hot, very hot, want it?
Joe Pitt: You didn't have to do that.
Harper Pitt: I know, it just seemed like the kinda thing a mentally-deranged sex-starved pill-popping housewife would do.


Belize: Look at that heavy sky out there.
Louis Ironson: Purple.
Belize: Purple? What kind of a homosexual are you anyway? That's not purple, Mary, that color out there... is mauve.
 
sissyboy said:
"I wouldn't suck your lousy dick if I were suffocating and there were oxygen in your balls!!"

Taffy - Female Trouble
Good one! I didn't think John Waters could ever match his earlier movies, but I have to say "A Dirty Shame" is probably the funniest movie I've ever seen.


"I read in the paper the other day that the average married couple has sex over 100 times a year. That's a lie! People would be raw if that was true!"

Marge the Neuter - A Dirty Shame


"Last night, hairy overweight men who call themselves bears were having sex outside the house. My children heard them. 'Mommie, what's that noise?' They actually asked me. I raced outside clapping my hands loudly and I yelled, 'No blowjobs!' And they just laughed. Some of them even growled at me."

Anti "Bear" Neuter - A Dirty Shame
 
OK. This thread is kind of dead also. Did I kill it? :eek:



One more:


Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I don't murder children.
The Operative: I do, when I have to.

- Serenity, 2005
 
"I can't let them know them goddamned soap bastards got to me."
Diana Ross as Billie Holiday, Lady Sings The Blues
 
Nancy Blake: [to Countess DeLave] Chin up.
Miriam Aarons: Right, both of them.
- from 1939's THE WOMEN
 
Dave Spritz: Why are you here, anyway?
Robert Spritz: I came to talk to Noreen about an issue concerning Shelly.
Dave Spritz: Well, you can talk to me. I'm her parent, too. So? What?
Robert Spritz: Shelly dresses in clothing not appropriate for her... clinging stuff.
Dave Spritz: All kids wear... Dad, it's a different generation.
Robert Spritz: They call her camel toe.
Dave Spritz: What?
Robert Spritz: Are you aware of that?
Dave Spritz: What?
Robert Spritz: That her colleagues call her camel toe.
Dave Spritz: What are you talking about?
Robert Spritz: It means the crease in her vagina that they can discern through her clothing.
Dave Spritz: What?
Robert Spritz: Camel toe.

The Weather Man
 
Dewey: The killer called her.
Mark: When?
Gale: What'd he say?
Sidney: Oh you know the usual small talk. "What's new?" "How you been?" "How do you wanna die?"
- from Scream 3
 
"I think you boys have had enough" Blazing Saddles, campfire/beans
" I always like to keep my audience riveted" Sheriff Bart after telling his story to the Waco Kid
 
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