valle12tom
JUB Addict
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- Jul 16, 2004
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- Location
- Somewhere in Western North Carolina
Writers notes: This story really took a strange twist as I wrote it. I will warn you if you are looking for sex in the first chapter you won't really find any. It does however deal with real actual historical physical and verbal abuse in a family. No sexual abuse thanks goodness. I had not intended to include this personal stuff in a story but it just came out as I wrote so here it is for better or worse. There is actual sex in the second chapter which is on the way.
My Best Friend
Chapter One
“Hey Tom is that you?” I heard as I picked up my phone on the third ring.
“Yeah its me Timmy. How are you?” I asked.
“OK man. I am so looking forward to getting out of school and hooking up with you next week. Are you still planning on coming home on Friday,” Timmy asked excitedly?
“Yeah I get out on Thursday and will leave that afternoon. I should pull into my house around 5 PM or so,” I told Timmy.
“OK call me when you get in so we can get together and plan our trip OK,” he said, “will you be able to get out of the house Friday night? Can you come over to my place?”
“Yeah, the witch should be OK with that,” I said, “I’ll call you when I get home and then throw my stuff in my room and head on over.”
“Cool man I can’t wait. A whole week at the beach, can you believe it man? What a great way to start the summer before we have to start our summer jobs!” Timmy yelled in the phone.
“I know man can’t wait. See you then,” I said as we hung up.
My best friend all through grade school and high school was Timmy Hamilton. We were going to different colleges now and were winding down our Freshmen year. I was going to UNC at Chapel Hill and he was going to Boston University. We e-mailed each other every week and had talked a few times over the year and had last seen each other at Christmas but now we were getting ready to go on a road trip to the beach for a whole week together. We both had summer jobs lined up, me mowing lawns in the neighborhood and he was going to be a life guard at the country club.
He had the body for it, smooth and in shape. Great pecs and an eight pack to die for with a beautiful Apollo’s belt leading down to a marvelous cock, balls and even though his hair was absolutely natural blond he had this almost jet black bush. It was incredible to look at and I had spent many long hours fantasizing about Timmy. He wasn’t real tall but he had gorgeous legs that had a light smattering of curly blond hairs. He had these puffy luscious lips and two big dimples when he smiled which was all the time. I don’t think I ever saw him frown in all the time I had know him. The picture was completed with a set of great white perfectly straight teeth and eyes that were a gorgeous shade of green and beautiful long eyelashes, Oh he was hot and he was a hunk. He had always been this way ever since I had known him. He was great at sports and on ever team he could play on and his senior year he was captain of the soccer team, the swim team and the lacrosse team.
Oh yeah he was straight as they came. No evidence that it ever occurred to him how much I was in love with him. That was not even on the radar. He had no problem showing me his stuff and he told me about his many conquests with the chicks but we had never crossed the line. I was to afraid to even try. I wanted to so badly but I wanted his friendship so much more than I wanted his cock. Timmy accepted me for who I was and never seemed to judge me or make fun of me. In fact he had protected me on more than one occasion.
I was smart and I was overweight. Not hugely overweight. I mean I wasn’t an absolute tub of lard or anything but I did have a roll or two of fat. I was a total spazz at sports and ended up as water boy or bench warmer when I actually made a team. Timmy and I were the same height and my hair was dirty blond to his natural blond. Mine was curly and his was straight. My eyes were blue and his were green. I was OK in the cock and balls department and while I certainly wished I had bigger equipment I was happy with what I had. he and I were very similar in so many ways.
I had know that I was gay since I was about 8 or 9 years old. I really didn’t know what gay meant at that age but I knew I was different and I knew I liked to watch boys in the shower and I knew for damn sure that I could never tell anyone else how I felt. There was nobody to talk to about how I felt and that hurt sometimes but I just kept all my feelings bottled up inside and went about my business. Mostly I studied hard, played computer games and hung out with Timmy whenever I could or when he didn’t have a date. It was hard being gay in high school especially when your best friend was the straightest kid in school!
In my senior year I remember it was after my eighteenth birthday I discovered pornography on the Internet. It was great. I finally found other people who felt like I did and a whole new world opened up for me. I discovered this great place called Just us Boys and I signed on and met all kinds of people who were happy to answer any questions I had about being young and gay and about gay sex. They would answer any question I threw out there even the most naive and silly ones. I felt like such a dork but talking with other 18 year olds out there helped me realize that I wasn’t alone. Of course I found all kinds of photos of different guys without any clothes on and in all kinds of positions.. I had never imagined their were so many shapes and sizes of cocks and balls. It was great. I didn’t feel so alone after that and that felt good.
Then it was off to college and I immediately hated my roommate who was a typical redneck straight guy from the deep south. I hated to type cast him like that but he was horrible. He hated fags as he called them, he hated blacks and you can imagine what he called them and he seemed to just about hate everyone who was not a redneck like him. he loved to “FUCK THE BITCHES” as he called them and talked about women in the worst possible way. He thought he was God’s gift to women but I often imagined them grimacing as he mounted them and treated them like an object to be had. I was in misery. We roomed together for about 2 weeks and I was about to go and ask for a transfer or something when he came in one afternoon and told me he was moving out! That was the happiest day of my life. I had the room all to myself and I didn’t have to pay the single price.
I could walk around my room naked when I pleased and I could log onto JUB when I pleased and most importantly I could jack off whenever I wanted to and as many times as I wanted to. It was great. I got into my studies and was doing really well and sort of lost myself in work and studies and I even tried out for a play. I had never tried out for a play before and I had always wanted to. My parents were not the greatest and especially my stepmother whom all my friends called the Wicked Witch. She was horrible. She loved to berate me and call me names and tell me how stupid and fat and ugly I was. When I was young she would take a belt and lash me all the time to teach me a lesson. Sometimes it was so bad that I would have these huge welts and black and blue marks all over my legs and butt and back. My dad knew what was going on but he pretended as if he didn’t and just worked longer hours so he would not have to face the truth about his abusive wife. Sometimes I looked so bad I would be embarrassed to even change out in gym class. Timmy knew what had happened when he saw my legs and back one day and he would often shield me as I changed in a corner of the locker room or lend me some sweat pants to wear to cover the bruises. He was the only one that knew and he kept my secret. He knew how embarrassed I was but he never said anything. I loved him even more for that.
So anyway I tried out for this play and I got a part. It wasn’t a huge part but I had about 20 lines and I was in heaven. I was around all these very creative people and it was so cool. Everyone seemed to think I was doing a good job and the director seemed to like me and the job I was doing. For the first time I felt like I belonged to a group and that felt so good. The play was a hit and after the closing night everyone was going to go out to a local bar and celebrate. I wasn’t much of a party person but they invited me to go along and I said yeah sure why not.
When we walked into the bar I knew instinctively it was different. It was called the Cave and it was down these stairs in the basement of this building along Franklin Street in Chapel Hill. I could not believe my eyes when I looked around after my eyes became accustomed to the dark and saw guys dancing with guys and girls dancing with girls and some girls dancing with guys. Oh shit I thought this was great. I felt at home. Everyone was really nice. No one put the moves on me or anything and we celebrated the play. It just felt good to be among friends. I had a few drinks and as I wasn’t much of a drinker I went home to my room early. I was horny and excited as well from all the adrenalin of the play and jacked off in bed and fell asleep.
Two nights later I found myself walking back to the Cave. I went in and saw that it was not all that crowded as it was a week night. I went up to the bar and ordered a beer and sat there drinking it and watching a couple over in the corner kissing and making out. It was such a turn on to finally see two guys kissing and to feel that it was OK. Next thing I knew I felt a tap on my shoulder and well this story is not about that night. I did meet Steve and he showed me the pleasure of gay sex. It wasn’t love but the sex was good and he seemed satisfied with my performance. It felt OK to give my cherry to Steve although if I had my wish it would have been Timmy.
Then I met Jason who was an even better teacher and who really took his time to show me all kinds of ways to have sex and how to please a man. We had fun. Jason knew how to take his time and never rushed me or our many orgasms together. Throughout my Freshmen year I probably slept with 10-12 guys. None of them wanted more than casual sex with me. They were all up-front about it so that was good. I wanted desperately to fall in love and meet my dream guy but it didn’t happen so after sex with a guy from the Cave I would very often go back to my room and jack off thinking about Timmy and what I could do to him if he would just give me the chance.
The one great thing about getting a role in the play was I started to work out with the others guys in the cast and take care of my body for the first time in my life. I wanted to look good on stage and I wanted to look good for the guys at the Cave. So I dropped some of my pounds and my fat rolls went away. I was still not the proud possessor of a hard 8 pac but I looked much better when I stood in front of my mirror and posed. I actually had some muscles!
The guys on JUB all told me it would not work out with Timmy. They all told me he was to straight and would never let me have sex with him. Deep in my heart I knew they were right but I just didn’t want to believe them. I loved Timmy and knew that my love was real and that it could break through his straightness. I knew if somehow we got the chance I could show him and he would love what I could do with him. I knew in my heart of hearts that no girl could ever give him what I could give him. Every time I had sex with another guy I was learning more about men so that given the chance with Timmy I could take him where he had never been before.
Which of course brings us to this story. About two months ago Timmy had called me on the phone and asked if I wanted to go to the beach with him. His uncle had a small camper that had a double bed in it and a small kitchen and bathroom. He wanted to know if I could tow the trailer to a campground he knew about at Dewey Beach Delaware behind my truck. I told him yeah that would be great. Inside I wondered if it would be a good idea to spend a whole week with Timmy in the confines of a small trailer but I threw caution to the wind and told him yes. Timmy seemed genuinely happy when I told him yes.
So here I was driving home after my first year at college. I had a great year. I got good grades, I had been in 3 plays, I had met some great gay guys and had my cherry busted. I felt good about myself and I felt that others liked me for who I was and who I had become. I pulled into our driveway and saw the Witch Mobile parked by the garage. Oh shit I thought don’t let her be in one of her moods. Please don’t let her be in one of her moods.
I pulled my truck up next to her car and saw that my dad was not at home. Of course that was not unusual as he stayed away as much as possible. He was always telling us he had to bring home the bacon. But I knew he really couldn’t stand to be at home. She hadn’t actually touched me since I was about 15 but she still had a mouth and was willing to whip me with her verbal abuse if she couldn’t hit me physically any longer. I got my bags out of the back of the truck and walked into the back door.
“Well look what the cat dragged in,” she said sarcastically to one of my little brothers who looked at me with his wide eyes as he saw me walk in the door. I knew that he was now catching the abuse that I used to get but there was nothing I could do about it except try to let them know I knew. I had tried to deflect her anger towards me when I was living at home so my brothers would be spared the shame of the beatings for as long as possible.
“You look like a real piece of shit,” she said as she looked me up and down. “What a loser you are!”
Ignoring her and trying to stay calm and not lose my cool I said “Hey,” to Mike as he jumped into my arms with a huge bear hug. We hugged each other for a minute for two and then I put him down. “Why don’t you carry my bags up to my room for me OK.” As he was only to glad to have an excuse to get out of the kitchen he grabbed my bags and headed up the back stairs to my room on the third floor of the house.
“I got to go over to Timmy’s house for awhile,” I said as I started to follow Mike up the stairs.
“Whatever, go run to your little queer friend ” she said with disgust in her voice as she turned her back on me and began to stir something on the stove. Why did she hate me so much? I knew part of the reason was that I was not her child. My father’s girlfriend had gotten pregnant when she was 17 and I was born when she and he were 18. She died giving birth to me and I was raised for 2 years by my grandparents. Then dad had met Rosa and she had come into my life with her belt and her mouth. It had been hell ever since.
At least she was leaving me alone for the first time in a long time. Perhaps she was a bit afraid of me since I had gown a few inches and was a bit stronger than I had been when I left. I had lost most of my body fat trying to get in shape for the plays I was in and also trying to look good for the guys I met at the Cave. I didn’t want to be a pudge pot my whole life I thought as I trudged up the stirs to my room. I needed to stay calm and not let her bring me down to her level. Try not to react to her barbs and insults I kept telling myself over and over again as I walked up the stairs.
I lived in a converted attic space and it was actually pretty cool. Way up at the top of this old house we lived in. I had one side of the attic and a huge storage room was on the other side and they had added a bathroom in between which was nice. I didn’t have to share with anyone. When I was in high school I could come up here and escape the wrath of the witch downstairs. I would put on my ear phones and turn up the stereo. I encouraged my brothers to hide out up here anytime they needed to as Rosa did not like to walk up all the stairs to the attic.
I walked into my room and felt instantly at home. It was cosy and I had decorated it with my favorite posters of Johnny Depp, Leonardo DeCaprio and other half naked good looking stars. I had attached them to the sloping walls of the roof. I had a double bed over by the one window and book shelves along with my desk, computer and TV set. I had 2 bean bag chairs as well. Mike was standing by my bed where he had dropped my bags.
“Thanks little man,” I said as I walked over towards him, except you aren’t so little any more. You are really growing up,” I told him as I grabbed him and hugged him. He groaned as I held him and I knew at that moment he was getting beat like I had gotten beat. Mike was 10 years old and his brothers were 8 and 6.
“Oh shit man I am sorry,” I said as I dropped onto the bed. I lifted up his shirt to see the marks on his back. “Oh fuck man I am so sorry.”
“It’s OK Tom. Really I don’t mind and if I get more then Ben and Willie don’t have to get it,” he said between the tears. “Please don’t say anything. It will just make it worse. OK?”
“I don’t know man. I just don’t know if I can keep quiet any longer. Why doesn’t dad do anything. The prick,” I yelled.
“He is scared of her too,” Mike said with a wisdom beyond his years.
“Well maybe this summer while I am here I can get her occupied with other things and you can help me with the lawns so you won’t have to be around OK,” I said.
“Yeah maybe but if I am not around then she will just pick on Ben and Willie and they are so little,” he said.
“Well I will think of something,” I told him at last. “You know you all can come up here and hide out anytime you need to.”
“Yeah we already have a home in your closet,” Mike said with a sour laugh.
I lay back on the bed feeling so bad for my brothers and here I was going off for a week with Timmy. All I could think about was myself. I wanted to suck on Timmy while my little brothers were getting the shit beat out of them. Maybe I should transfer back home to the local college so at least I could protect them for a little while. But I knew that was useless. I had to leave home at some point. I would have to think of something else.
“Look I have to go over to Timmy’s for a while but I will be back OK. Just try and stay out of her way. I love you big man,” I said as I got off the bed and tousled his hair. At least he smiled at me but then after a minute his face went blank again as he thought about what night happed when I left. Perhaps coming home was not a good idea. She might take her anger towards me out on them just because I was around and she knew she couldn’t beat on me any more. I had to think of someway to stop her. There must be something I could do.
I walked down the stairs and saw she was not in the kitchen so I headed out to my truck. Soon I was on the familiar road to Timmy’s house where I knew he was waiting for me. I was so conflicted as I drove. What should I do? I had looked forward to this time alone with Timmy for a long time but I also felt the need to protect my younger brothers from the Evil One. Damn why did life have to be this complicated I thought? I didn’t need this shit in my life. Just when I thought things had turned around for me.
I pulled up to Timmy’s house and was getting out of my truck when he bounded out of his front door like a wild man and ran across the yard and grabbed me in a hug bear hug lifting me off the ground as he swung me around laughing.
“Damn man you look great! Shit what have you been doing with yourself ?” he said as he put me down on the ground and stood back to look me up and down. He had his huge goofy grin that I loved so much and I was melting inside just being in his presence.
“Well I have been in a few plays at school and have been keeping in shape for them,” I replied.
“Well damn man whatever it is you look fine,” he said with a laugh as he threw his arms around me and walked me to his front door. “You lost all those rolls you used to carry around man. I am impressed!”
“Hi Tom how are you,” Mrs Hamilton said as we walked into the living room. She was always so nice and welcoming to me. Like the mother I never had.
“You look great Tom. How was your first year of college?” she said as she got up off the couch where she had been reading the paper and came over to give me a big hug. It felt good to be hugged.
“I certainly hope you got better grades than this young man over here,” she said pointing with a laugh at her son. “I think he spend most of his year at a big party!”
“Aw mom my grades were not all that bad. C’s are pretty good for me” Timmy said sincerely. He was right as C’s were pretty good for him.
“Well Mrs. H. I did really well, I was in three plays and got mostly A’s with a few B’s.” I told her.
“I knew that if you got out of this town you were going to shine Tom. I am so proud of you both. Well let’s get you boys something to eat. I have some of my fried chicken in the oven waiting for you,” she told us both as she walked to the kitchen.
We followed her with our stomachs growling. Mrs. H. was well know for her fried chicken, homemade rolls, green beans and mashed potatoes and I hoped that she had made some of her incredible banana pudding for desert. I tried to watch what I ate this past year but tonight would be a special occasion.
We sat down at the kitchen table and she served us our plates and we dug in. There was silence as we both ate like we hadn’t eaten in 2 years. We giggled like young school girls as we shoveled the food in our open mouths. Finally we pushed our plates away and sat up full and stuffed but of course having saved room for the banana pudding she was setting down in front of us.
“OK Tom tell me what’s on your mind. I can tell something is up with you” Mrs. H. finally said as I started to eat my pudding.
“Aw mom can’t you see he has his mouth full,” Timmy pleaded.
“ Timmy, I just know my Tom and I want an answer,” she told him in her motherly way.
I finished my bite of pudding and put my spoon down and looked up at Mrs. H. and said, “ Is it that obvious?”
She touched the back of my head affectionately with her hand and said with a chuckle, “yeah you have always been pretty easy to read Tom. I don’t think you should ever go to Las Vegas they would take everything you have.” Both she and Timmy laughed at that remark. Mrs. H. liked to play poker and she had played many games with Timmy and me over the years and she always won. I never could develop a poker face and both Timmy and his mom would tease me as they took all my chips!
“Well it’s complicated and I am not sure how to say it but well um well um you know how my step mom is?” I said at last with a kind of choking voice. I had never really discussed my step mom and her abuse with anyone before especially a grown up. It was just to embarrassing. I knew lots of people probably suspected but like with Timmy I just didn’t talk about it. I accepted the abuse as a fact of my life and just tried to make the best of a bad situation.
“Yes, we have never really talked about it but well I have seen some of the marks on your back and legs at various times over the years. I wanted to but I never said anything to you even though it broke my heart to know what she was doing to you,” Mrs. H. said with tears in her eyes.
“Well when I was home I could take it all on me you know. I mean I tried to make sure that she always directed her anger at me and not the boys but now that I am gone well its another story. I sort of thought she might leave them alone cause they were her real kids but Mike was beat up pretty bad when I just saw him and he told me he was trying to take it now like I did for him so she doesn’t go after the little ones. I had sort of put that part of my life away at college and well I hoped it was just me but now I just don’t know what to do,” I said with a few tears welling in my eyes. I was trying hard not to cry. I didn’t want to cry.
“Maybe we need to report her to the police or some social workers,” Mrs. H. said. Timmy was quiet the whole time and he was looking right at me and I was looking at him. I could see tears in his eyes and they made me want to cry even harder as I struggled to keep my tears under control.
“No we can’t do that,” I said. “What would happen to the kids? Mike begged me not to say anything but I just don’t know. I just know I can’t let her continue what she is doing. I just feel bad leaving the boys and going away with Timmy for a week but I am really looking forward to our trip. I need this time away before the summer starts and everything. Oh I just don’t know what to do.”
Mrs. H. leaned down and gave me a hug and when my face hit her chest I just let it all out and started balling like a baby. I wrapped my arms around her back and just let it all out for the first time in my life. She patted my head and held me tightly and then I could feel Timmy rubbing my back as well and massaging my neck
I finally broke away and rubbed my eyes and took a Kleenex Mrs. H. offered me from her pocket.
“Oh I am sorry for breaking down like that.” I said still sobbing and breathing hard.
“Oh Tom don’t ever apologize for letting your emotions out. You have been keeping all this stuff in for way to long. You sweet dear Timmy and I have been very worried about you over the years but thought you would come to us when you were ready. We are both here for you aren’t we Timmy,” she said.
“Yeah man we’ll think of something. Sometimes I just want to kill her so bad for what she did to you,” Timmy said.
“ I was thinking about going over to my Grand’s house and seeing if she could take the boys for a week while I think of some plan.” I said looking up at Mrs. H.
“I think that is a great idea. Do you think she is up for those guys?” Mrs. H said.
“Yeah she loves them and she is old but gets around pretty good. Rosa doesn’t let her keep them very often so I think she would go for it. I know she really loves them. Want to drive over there with me Timmy,” I asked looking at my friend?
“Yeah let’s go. Thanks mom for the great dinner. You’re the best cook in town,” Timmy said with a grin and a wicked laugh giving his mom a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Yeah Mrs. H. thanks so much. I really appreciate it and all you have done for me over the years. you will never know how many times you saved my life by providing me a safe haven,” I told her as we hugged again and walked to the door to go to my Grand’s house.
Timmy wrapped his arm around me as we walked to my truck. We got in and I started up and headed to my Grand’s house.
“Look man I know it took a lot to let go with my mom back there but she is pretty cool for a mom. She won’t spill the beans unless you tell her to. Rosa is such a bitch. Damn man I don’t see how you did it. Look I know you don’t want to talk about it and that’s cool but I am here if you need me OK,” he said as we drove along.
I drove in silence for awhile and then said, “ look Timmy I appreciate you more than you can ever know. All the times you shielded me in the locker room and gave me some sweats to wear so no one would see my bruises and all. You never said anything and I think you are so cool for that and for still being my friend.” I burst into tears again as we pulled in my Grand’s driveway.
“Shit man we are friends,” he said grabbing me in a hug. I sobbed onto his shoulder and my body heaved as I let it out again with my best friend. After a few minutes I broke away wiping my face with the back of my hand.
“God I am such a baby. I can’t believe all this balling stuff. I never do that,” I said as I opened the door. I turned to look at Timmy, “Do I look OK man? I don’t want to upset Grand.”
“Yeah” he said reaching across and wiping my face with his fingers. “Take a few deep breaths. We’ll figure out something.”
I did as Timmy suggested and held onto the steering wheel while I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself. My acting rehearsals and preparation came in handy as I calmed myself down before going in to see my Grand.
My Grand was a great old lady. I really loved her and I knew she loved me. She hated what Rosa did to me but in her position could never say anything. I think she tried to talk with my dad a few times but didn’t get very far. She was always afraid that Rosa would take us away from her so she just kept quiet.
She was a very independent woman and had lived alone since Pops had died about 5 years ago. She drove her self everywhere and did her own shopping and cleaning. She played bridge once or twice a week and volunteered at the hospital 3 days a week. Pretty good for a 76 year old woman I thought as I rang her doorbell. She was pretty classy.
“Tom,” she yelled as he opened the door and saw me standing outside. She grabbed me in a hug and squeezed me. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. You look great!” She kissed me on the face over and over again. I was certainly getting my share of hugs and kisses today. More than I usually got that was for sure. She looked over my shoulder and saw Timmy standing behind me.
“And look at you Timmy. Still as handsome as ever. If I was only 50 years younger,” she laughed as she grabbed him and hugged him and kissed him as well. Timmy was used to Grand and hugged her back and was not at all embarrassed by the attention. Timmy liked attention and he could charm the pants off a tiger or the dress off an old lady if he wanted to I thought to myself.
“Come on in both of you,” she said ushering us into her house. We walked into the living room.
“Can I get you something to drink? A coke or something? Maybe a beer?” she said with a grin.
“No Grand nothing right now but thanks anyway. I really need to ask a huge favor of you if that’s OK,” I said.
She sat down on the couch and Timmy sat next to her and I sat in the chair next to the couch.
“Look if I can arrange it can you take Mike, Ben and Willie for a week?” I said seriously looking her in the eye. My Grand really liked to talk straight with me about most things so I decided to tell it like it was for the first time. My whole life we had all just skirted around the issue of what Rosa did to us but now I had to be honest with myself and those around me in order to protect my little brothers.
“Yes I would love to but well you know how your step mom feels about me.” she said sadly.
“I just didn’t want to give you more than you could handle. I know how busy you are,” I said.
“Oh I can take off and the boys are such a joy. I don’t mind them at all. They love to help out around here and I have lots for them to do,” she said. “But tell me what’s wrong.”
“Timmy and I have this beach trip planned and I really want to go. I have been looking forward to it for a few months. Look I know we have never said it out loud but Rosa is off the deep end. I thought when I left for college that she might just calm down with the boys but now she is picking on Mike and I don’t want to leave them with her while I am gone. I have to think of something to break this cycle and I haven’t come up with a plan yet but I have the whole summer to work on that. I just have to figure out something for the next week,” I blurted out.
“OK, I am so sorry I wasn’t able to protect you and I thought something as going on with Mike but he wouldn’t talk about it with me and your Dad, well you know how he is. He just won’t face up to the reality of the situation and to be truthful he is scared of her. I love my son Tom but he just lost his backbone when he married that woman. I know that’s why he works all the time,.” she said with resignation in her voice.
“Great and thanks Grand” I said jumping up and giving her a big hug. “Let me call Dad.”
I reached for the phone on the end table beside us and dialed my dad’s number at work. He sold insurance and worked lots of hours so he wouldn’t have to be at home. I am not sure why he was the way he was I mean he had such great genes from Grand and Pops but he was a typical Wilbur Milk Toast. He was a good guy overall and always tried to come to anything I did at school but he just wasn’t prepared when my mom died I guess. I always wondered why he married Rosa and what he saw in her. Was she always such a bitch?
“Hello, Peters Insurance how can I help you? ” he answered on the second ring.
“Dad it’s Tom,” I told him.
“Hey Tom its good to hear your voice. When did you get home?” he said.
“I got home this afternoon and I’m over at Grands house with Timmy right now. Look dad I really have to ask you something and I need for you to back me up. I really need this OK.” I said with all the strength I could muster in my voice which wanted to crack. I had to be strong for the both of us.
“OK son what is it?” he replied cautiously.
“Look Dad I know we have never talked about this but I know you know what is going on with Mike. I thought the beatings might stop when I left but it hasn’t. I need for the boys to stay with Grand for a week while I am at the beach with Timmy. When I get home we can figure out something but I really need for you to do this for me,” I said.
There was silence on the phone. No one had ever really addressed the situation about my step mom and her abusive behavior before and I knew he didn’t want to hear it. I also knew that in his heart of hearts he wanted to do something about it but he just didn’t know what to do. Who do you go to for help when your wife is a monster who beats her children? He was afraid for the whole town to know what a wuss he was and was afraid of losing clients. And who would take care of the boys he thought? He didn’t know where to turn and where was a grown man supposed to turn with an abusive wife like Rosa?
“What do you want me to do?” he asked at last.
I took a deep breath. At least this was a good sign. He didn’t say no. “I need for you to call home and tell her that you were talking with your mom and that you told Grand that the boys could come over and stay with her for a week. Don’t make it an option. Tell her you already said yes. OK?” I said.
“OK I will try,” dad replied.
“Dad you can’t just try you have to do it now! I am on my way home and I am going to pack up the boys and bring them over to Grands tonight. If I have to use force with Rosa I will but I would rather not.” I told him with as much force as I could muster. Thank God for my acting lessons. I was really pretty good I thought to myself.
“OK son I’ll do it right now,” he told me. I knew he was scared but hell I thought stand up for once in your life. I wanted to scream at him but couldn’t scream at my dad. I wanted to shake him and wake him up out of the hole he was hiding in. I hung up the phone and took a deep breath. I was shaking with all the emotions I was feeling.
“You did good Tom,” Grand said. She stood up and so did Timmy and I. She took me in another hug and now she was crying. “I should have protected you my little angel. I don’t know why you don’t hate me for not protecting you all those years. I could see what she did to you but Pops and I just didn’t know what to do. I think it killed Pops to see what she did to you and your dad.” Now she was crying and it was my turn to comfort her. I wiped the tears off her face and kissed her.
“Its OK Grand. It’s all in the past now. OK. We are going to find a way to move forward and we aren’t going to let the past keep us trapped. Our job now is to help Mike and Ben and Willie. Nothing else matters.” I said as I comforted her. “Timmy and I are going to get the boys and we’ll be back in about an hour OK. Can you get their rooms ready by then?’ I asked.
“Yeah I will have everything ready and I’ll have a snack for them as well,” she said tears still streaming down her face. “Go on now both of you. Shoo! I’ll be OK.”
I looked at Timmy and we nodded our heads slightly and left the house for the truck once again.
“Man I have never seen you like this before. It’s like you are a completely new person Tom. I love it. You’re awesome man. I just wish you had been like this in high school and maybe things would have been different for you,” he told me as we drove to my house. he kept looking over at me as we drove along with this curious look on his beautiful face.
“Thanks man you are the best friend anyone could ever have. Look when we get there you need to watch my back in case she gets violent. I hope she will just leave it alone but just in case follow my lead OK,” I told him.
We pulled up behind my house next to her car which was still parked in the same spot in the driveway and got out of the truck and walked in the back door.
“Well look at the two faggots,” Rosa spat at us as we walked in the door. “You been out screwing each other you freaks. God you both make me sick to my stomach.” Where did she get this stuff? Where did she get this venom that was inside her?
I didn’t say anything but walked past her to the back stairs with Timmy in front of me.
“What’s wrong with you cats got your tongue? You little shit come back here when I am talking to you. I am not finished with your little faggoty ass yet.” she screamed at us.
We continued up the stairs and I walked to Mike’s room where he was crouched on his bed in a tight little ball. Rosa had obviously had her way with him earlier as his almost naked little body was covered with welts and bruises. She had stripped him of everything but his underwear.
“Oh shit I am so sorry little man” I said as I ran over to the bed and picked him up and hugged him and looked around for his clothes. “Do you have a suitcase,” I asked him? He pointed to the closet and Timmy went over to open the door. Timmy was as shaken as I had ever seen him. He was not prepared to see what Rosa was capable of and what she did with me while pretty bad was nothing compared to what she had done to little Mike in my absence. There was no way I would ever let them back in the house again alone with her.
Mike was shaking and sobbing as I tried to hold him gently in my arms. I didn’t want to touch the bruises and welts anymore than necessary. I knew from first hand experience how painful they could be.
Timmy opened the closet door and jumped back a step when he discovered both Ben and Willie crouched down on the floor of the closet in the dark crying and sobbing. They looked terrified and I didn’t want them to see Mike like he was but what could I do? Timmy hunched down and held out his arms and they jumped into his wide embrace. He hugged them and stood up turning them away from Mike and I so they wouldn’t see their brother like this and carried them to the door saying,” lets go into your room and find you some clothes and your toys to take to your grands OK. Your going to spend a few nights over there OK guys?” he tried to keep his voice happy when I knew he was furious. I could tell from his body language that he was mad but I guess he should be an actor as well.
Ben and Willie put their heads on Timmy’s shoulders as he walked out the room but from their wide eyes I could see that they saw briefly what their mother had done to their brother. They had been forced to listen behind the closed door in the dark closet and imagine what she was doing but had not seen it. What were they thinking? How could a mother do this to her own children?
“Look Mike lets get your clothes on OK.” I said to Mike as I helped him on with his pants. He winced as we pulled them on but he was a little soldier just like I had been when I was his age. God is was amazing what a young child could learn to live with I thought as we got him all dressed and then took a suitcase out of the closet and started to fill it with clothes, books and toys. “If there is anything you want get it now OK. You are going to stay over at Grand’s house for a week while I am gone OK.”
Mike just nodded to me and grabbed his game boy and a stuffed bear that I had given him when he was 6. He loved that bear.
“Just what the hell do you think you are doing you little fuck ,” Rosa screamed and spat at me from the door way. She had a belt in her hands.”You aren’t taking Mike anywhere ever! You and your little lover boy friend can just get the hell out of my house before I use this belt on you!”
Had she forgotten that I was all grown up now. In her rage and in her illness did she really think she could overpower me and Timmy? She was really sicker than I thought and she seemed to have really fallen over the edge of some deep abyss. It suddenly struck me that she was really mentally ill and she was truly crazy.
“Look I am taking the boys over to Grands for a week. Didn’t dad call you?,” I said very calmly. I wanted to explode but I knew that I had to stay calm. I put myself between Mike and her. She came into the room with a horrible expression or rage on her face. I had never seen anyone look like that before even in acting class when out teacher would ask us to assume different expressions of fear, anger, rage, humor etc.
“Yeah that little shit called me and I told him flat out no way was he taking my boys to her house. That stupid bitch wants to get her hands on my boys but she never will as long as I have a breath in my body. They are my boys and I will do whatever I want to with them. They belong to me. Do you hear me you little turd? You piece of shit they are mine. Now get the fuck out of my house you faggot. Don’t ever come back. Go running over to your Granny bitches house with your little boyfriend. My boys are never going to go over to that bitches house gain. I told him she would never see them again ever,” she was screaming and spittle was flying out of her mouth as she spoke.
“Look we are going and that is that. There is nothing you are going to do to stop us so just turn around and go to your room or back downstairs and let us get on with it. If I have to I will use force so don’t make me OK,” I told her. I felt my voice cracking and she could see I was scared shit less. All the old hurts and beatings came back to me as we stood there face to face in Mikes room. I was terrified but I also knew what I had to do for the first time in my life.
“Ha you little faggot you couldn’t make me do anything. You’re just a little fairy just like your father and you have contaminated my boys and are trying to make them into fairies too! Well you’re plan won’t work mister. Get your sorry fat ass out of my house.” She was so full of venom. How did she know I was a fairy I wondered? I hadn’t ever really acted like a fairy. Shit Timmy and the boys were all hearing her yell all this stuff out. What would they think? I couldn’t worry about that now I just had to get Mike and Timmy and the boys out of this house.
“Rosa step out here,” I heard a voice say and then saw my father behind her in the hallway. I had never before heard him talk in a voice like that. He sounded strong and like he had finally found a backbone.
“Get the fuck out of my way you stupid little shit of a man. You are so worthless just like your piece of shit son by that piece of shit whore of a mother,” she spat at him as she whirled the belt through the air. He managed to catch the belt with his hand and grabbed her arm forcibly and moved her out into the hallway. His knuckles were white he was holding her arm so hard. She was a strong woman but his touch seemed to be controlling her. “Come on to our room now,” he told her calmly but forcefully as he pulled her along the hallway. She continued to scream at him and tried to hit him and she said terrible things as she let him half walk half drag her down the hall towards their bedroom. I guess I could have understood her behavior if she was a drunk or a drug addict but she never drank or did drugs. She just physically, verbally and mentally abused her kids and her husband.
Mike was trembling as I took his hand and picked up his suitcase and walked out into the hallway where we met Timmy who was carrying a duffel bag on his back and Ben and Willie in his arms. They looked scared and were silent with their heads lying on Timmy’s shoulders as we walked down the stairway to the kitchen and out the back door. It felt like a run for freedom. My legs were shaking and I thought I would fall down at any minute but I knew I had to be strong for the boys. I had to be stronger than I had ever been before. I wanted to just fall down and cry but I didn’t have time for that now.
Timmy put Ben and Willie in the back of the truck threw the duffel bag in and Mikes suitcase as well. He then jumped in the back effortlessly I thought like a gymnast. God he was a friend and tonight he was a real friend. I knew why I loved him so much. He looked at me and smiled a small tight smile as he put his arms around Ben and Willie and drew them into an embrace.
“Do you want to sit in the back with Timmy or up front with me,” I asked Mike?
Mike motioned for the front with me and I opened the driver side door and Mike climbed in the truck and he slid across the seat. I would have normally made him put on his seat belt but knew that there was no way he could sit down so I just let it go. I did fasten mine seatbelt and I started the truck and we drove off. He was kneeling on the seat looking out the back window.
“Look Mike I need to ask you something and I need for you to be a big boy OK,” I said as we drove along. He nodded at me that he was listening. He hadn’t said a word since I had found him in his room.
“OK I need to stop at the drug store up here and buy one of those disposable cameras. When we get to Grands house I need to take you upstairs to your room and I have to take some pictures of what mom did to you tonight. It’s real important. Its so we can get her some help OK? I know it will be hard but I have to do it but I want your permission OK,” I told him. I needed to level with him for the first time in his life and I needed his cooperation as well.
He was crying as he nodded his head in ascent. I pulled into the parking lot of the drug store. “Thanks man I really appreciate that. I just wish I could have stopped it. You do know that don’t you? I am going to stick by you and its never going to happen again as long as I have a breath in my body.” He looked at me and forced a small smile on his face. At least it was a smile. Did he really believe that I could save him from the abuse? I hoped so.
I got out of the truck and told Timmy that I needed to go in and pick up some stuff at the drug store. He nodded at me while he held onto both the boys with his arms. They had their arms wrapped tightly around him. I went inside and bought the camera and we drove to Grand’s house. We parked and got everyone out of the truck with all their stuff and Grand came out to greet us.
She kissed the boys and hugged Ben and Willie. Mike held back but did allow her to give him a quick kiss and a hug. We walked inside and Grand took Ben and Willie to the kitchen for some cake and ice cream while Timmy, Mike and I went upstairs with all the luggage. We walked into the room Mike used on the infrequent times he was allowed to sleep over at Grand’s house. We walked in and I put his suitcase on the floor. Timmy had carried the duffel bag to the other bedroom and then came back in the room with Mike and me. I was glad for his presence and as a possible future witness if it came to that.
I squatted down on the floor so I was eye to eye with Mike and said to him as straight as I could, “ OK big man now I need to you to take off your clothes except for your underwear OK. I need to get some photos of your back and your legs and then you can just lower the back of your underwear so I can get a shot of your butt. OK. I am sorry big guy but I have to do it. Do you understand why?”
He nodded at me and then Mike took off his shirt and his shoes and socks and then his pants. He turned around and even I wanted to vomit and scream and yell like hell. How could anyone do something like this to a 10 year old innocent boy. His back was covered with huge welts and bruises and was all black and blue. Some areas were bleeding and raw. The backs of his legs were just the same all raw and red. I started taking photos but I felt like throwing up as I snapped picture after picture. Mike was silent the entire time but I could hear Timmy breathing hard behind me. Mike lowered the backs of his underwear and I took some quick photos of his backside. I wanted to scream and I wanted to cry and I wasn’t sure which I wanted more.
I then looked in his suitcase and took out his pajamas. Mike took them from me and put them on. We could worry about the blood and stuff later.
“Do you want some ice cream and cake” I asked him?
He nodded his head and we all walked downstairs to the kitchen where Ben and Willie were seated at the kitchen table eating their cake and ice-cream and talking with Grand. They all looked up as we entered the room and Grand got up and cut Mike a piece of cake and put a large scoop of ice cream on top. She could see that he was in no shape to sit down so she handed him his plate and he ate standing up never saying a word.
Ben and Willie started talking again and finally finished their treat. I looked at the kitchen clock and was amazed to find it was 9:30 PM.
Grand bustled all of us upstairs and we got Ben and Willie into their beds. I helped her tuck them in and they begged Timmy to read them a story. He got a story book and began to read to them while Grand and I took Mike to his room. He got into bed and lay down on his stomach and I covered him up as gently as I could. I tucked him in being careful not to hurt him.
I squatted down beside the bed tucking in his stuffed bear as well.
“Look big man you were great tonight. Your moms not well and she can’t help herself sometimes OK. It wasn’t your fault and you protected your little brothers and that’s a good thing. You are so special to both Grand and me and I want you to know that OK! You will always be my big man OK. I love you so much,” I told him looking him in the eye. His eyes were big and full but I could see that he understood what I was saying.
“From now on we are honest with each other no matter what OK?” I told him.
He leaned up a little and brought his arms out from under the covers and hugged my neck and kissed me. I could hear Grand crying softly in the background. “Thanks Tom,” he told me in my ear. “Will you sleep in here with me and Grumpy the Grizzly Bear tonight?”
“Yeah I will sit here with you till you fall asleep and then I have to run Timmy home OK. I will be back in a little while and I will make myself a pallet right here on the floor beside your bed. If you need anything at all you let Grand know or me OK. We love you big man. We really love you. Grand will sit here with you and sing you some of her wonderful lullabies while I take Timmy home,”I told him with tears in my eyes. I was trying not to cry and I held back my tears. Grand got me a chair and I sat on it holding Mike’s hand as he fell asleep. He looked like an angel as he lay there sleeping.
I finally got up and turned to the doorway where Timmy was watching with Grand. We walked out of the room and went downstairs without talking.
“Look Grand I need to take Timmy home and talk with him some. I’ll be back in an hour or so. I won’t be long. Will you please sit with Mike in case he wakes up till I get back OK?,” I asked Grand.
“Of course I will,” she replied. “It was really bad tonight wasn’t it?” she said crying and sobbing.
“Yeah it was maybe the worst. Worse than whatever she used to do to me. I realized tonight she is sick Grand. She really doesn’t know what she is doing. She is mentally ill and now I hope that Dad will be convinced to get her the help she needs. But I swear before you and Timmy and on my grave those boys will never be in the house with her alone ever again.”
Grand nodded at me and we walked to the front door. “Your dad called me and told me he called Dr. Monroe and they had her committed tonight for observation. Apparently after you left she just broke down and became catatonic. Your father will need all his strength to keep her there. I just worry that he is not strong enough. She is a hard woman.”
“I took some photos of what she did to Mike and if that is not enough to give him the backbone then I will just have to find a social worker who can help us,” I said. “Timmy saw what she did and he will testify if he needs to. At least dad came home tonight when we needed him. I am not sure how I would have handled her if he hadn’t come in when he did. She was like out of control. Completely out of control. She was like another person. She was yelling and calling us names.”
I kissed and hugged Grand and she kissed Timmy on the cheek and then we walked to the truck and drove to his house. It felt like a long ride in silence but somehow I felt as if the largest weight in the world had been taken off my shoulders. The silence was good and neither of us broke it as we were lost in our own private thoughts. But at least it was now out in the open and the years of abuse melted away. It would never be gone from my memories but for the first time in my life I didn’t hate Rosa anymore. I realized tonight how sick she was. That didn’t excuse her actions or my fathers actions in protecting her all these years but it did explain what she did. But now I knew she was sick and needed to be locked away forever as far as I was concerned.
We parked outside Timmy’s house I turned off the truck and we just sat there in the dark not saying anything. I could hear Timmy breathing and I am sure he could hear me as well.
Finally Timmy said, “Man I just don’t know what to say. I had no idea anyone could do that to someone else but man you were just so awesome tonight the way you took charge and stood up for your little brothers. Damn you were awesome man.”
“Thanks for all your help tonight. I couldn’t have done it without you Timmy,” I told him as we sat there in the dark. “Look I have to get back to Grands. I don’s want Mike to wake up and find me gone but I’ll be over tomorrow to look at your uncle’s trailer and get all the shit we need and stuff so we can take off on Sunday morning bright and early.”
“Are you sure you want to go man I mean I can understand if you want to cancel,” he told me.
“No man I need it more than ever. I need to get away and it will be good for Grand to spend some time with the boys and get to know them. I think the beach and the water will be just what I need to process all this shit and come up with a plan that will work. Tonight was horrible but I think Mike will be OK. And Dad put Rosa in for observation which should hold her till I get back. I’ll have the photos printed tomorrow and I am sure they will be all we need to be able to convince the doctors and my dad that she needs to be kept away for a long time.”
“What if the guys at the photo place tell the police,” Timmy asked.
“Well then its out of our hands. I ‘ll just have to take that chance,” I said.
“Look man I want to help you all I can tomorrow. Come over as soon as you can and we can get started. Bring Mike with you OK,” Timmy said.
Timmy got out of the truck and turned back and leaned his head inside. “Thanks man for finally letting me in. I have wanted you to talk with me for so long man but I just didn’t know what to do to make you. You’re pretty stubborn you know!” he said with a laugh as he slammed the door and ran across the lawn to his house.
I drove back to Grands house thinking about all that had happened to me on this day. I certainly had changed as everyone remarked. I was different. I had grown up and taken charge of my life. I felt good. I was still hopelessly in love with the straightest guy I knew but somehow I didn’t care anymore. We were going to spend a week at the beach together and if I could get him to share his cock with me then so be it. If not well then that would be OK as well.
I let myself into Grands house and turned off all the lights and locked the doors and went upstairs to Mike’s room. He was still asleep and Grand was sitting in the chair by his bed softly singing to him. I watched her for a moment and then she saw me and got up kissed Mike on the forehead and came over to the door. She kissed me and we hugged for a moment and then broke apart.
“You are a wonderful young man Tom and I thank you for having the courage to do what you did tonight. You did what none of us could do before and you have changed at least three lives forever because of your actions. Not many young men your age can say that. Plus you have changed your fathers life, my life and your life. Thank you so much. Now let me get you some stuff to make up a pallet,” she said.
We busied ourselves with getting a few blankets and pillows and I made myself a small pallet on the floor. We kissed goodnight and she went to her room. I went and checked on Ben and Willie and they were sound asleep in their beds. I then went to the bathroom down the hall and relieved myself and looked at myself in the mirror. I had changed I thought as I looked at my reflection. I was different. I looked pretty good I thought with a chuckle. I turned out the light and went to the bedroom where I kissed Mike on the forehead and got under my blanket on the floor and promptly fell into a deep and very restful sleep.
My Best Friend
Chapter One
“Hey Tom is that you?” I heard as I picked up my phone on the third ring.
“Yeah its me Timmy. How are you?” I asked.
“OK man. I am so looking forward to getting out of school and hooking up with you next week. Are you still planning on coming home on Friday,” Timmy asked excitedly?
“Yeah I get out on Thursday and will leave that afternoon. I should pull into my house around 5 PM or so,” I told Timmy.
“OK call me when you get in so we can get together and plan our trip OK,” he said, “will you be able to get out of the house Friday night? Can you come over to my place?”
“Yeah, the witch should be OK with that,” I said, “I’ll call you when I get home and then throw my stuff in my room and head on over.”
“Cool man I can’t wait. A whole week at the beach, can you believe it man? What a great way to start the summer before we have to start our summer jobs!” Timmy yelled in the phone.
“I know man can’t wait. See you then,” I said as we hung up.
My best friend all through grade school and high school was Timmy Hamilton. We were going to different colleges now and were winding down our Freshmen year. I was going to UNC at Chapel Hill and he was going to Boston University. We e-mailed each other every week and had talked a few times over the year and had last seen each other at Christmas but now we were getting ready to go on a road trip to the beach for a whole week together. We both had summer jobs lined up, me mowing lawns in the neighborhood and he was going to be a life guard at the country club.
He had the body for it, smooth and in shape. Great pecs and an eight pack to die for with a beautiful Apollo’s belt leading down to a marvelous cock, balls and even though his hair was absolutely natural blond he had this almost jet black bush. It was incredible to look at and I had spent many long hours fantasizing about Timmy. He wasn’t real tall but he had gorgeous legs that had a light smattering of curly blond hairs. He had these puffy luscious lips and two big dimples when he smiled which was all the time. I don’t think I ever saw him frown in all the time I had know him. The picture was completed with a set of great white perfectly straight teeth and eyes that were a gorgeous shade of green and beautiful long eyelashes, Oh he was hot and he was a hunk. He had always been this way ever since I had known him. He was great at sports and on ever team he could play on and his senior year he was captain of the soccer team, the swim team and the lacrosse team.
Oh yeah he was straight as they came. No evidence that it ever occurred to him how much I was in love with him. That was not even on the radar. He had no problem showing me his stuff and he told me about his many conquests with the chicks but we had never crossed the line. I was to afraid to even try. I wanted to so badly but I wanted his friendship so much more than I wanted his cock. Timmy accepted me for who I was and never seemed to judge me or make fun of me. In fact he had protected me on more than one occasion.
I was smart and I was overweight. Not hugely overweight. I mean I wasn’t an absolute tub of lard or anything but I did have a roll or two of fat. I was a total spazz at sports and ended up as water boy or bench warmer when I actually made a team. Timmy and I were the same height and my hair was dirty blond to his natural blond. Mine was curly and his was straight. My eyes were blue and his were green. I was OK in the cock and balls department and while I certainly wished I had bigger equipment I was happy with what I had. he and I were very similar in so many ways.
I had know that I was gay since I was about 8 or 9 years old. I really didn’t know what gay meant at that age but I knew I was different and I knew I liked to watch boys in the shower and I knew for damn sure that I could never tell anyone else how I felt. There was nobody to talk to about how I felt and that hurt sometimes but I just kept all my feelings bottled up inside and went about my business. Mostly I studied hard, played computer games and hung out with Timmy whenever I could or when he didn’t have a date. It was hard being gay in high school especially when your best friend was the straightest kid in school!
In my senior year I remember it was after my eighteenth birthday I discovered pornography on the Internet. It was great. I finally found other people who felt like I did and a whole new world opened up for me. I discovered this great place called Just us Boys and I signed on and met all kinds of people who were happy to answer any questions I had about being young and gay and about gay sex. They would answer any question I threw out there even the most naive and silly ones. I felt like such a dork but talking with other 18 year olds out there helped me realize that I wasn’t alone. Of course I found all kinds of photos of different guys without any clothes on and in all kinds of positions.. I had never imagined their were so many shapes and sizes of cocks and balls. It was great. I didn’t feel so alone after that and that felt good.
Then it was off to college and I immediately hated my roommate who was a typical redneck straight guy from the deep south. I hated to type cast him like that but he was horrible. He hated fags as he called them, he hated blacks and you can imagine what he called them and he seemed to just about hate everyone who was not a redneck like him. he loved to “FUCK THE BITCHES” as he called them and talked about women in the worst possible way. He thought he was God’s gift to women but I often imagined them grimacing as he mounted them and treated them like an object to be had. I was in misery. We roomed together for about 2 weeks and I was about to go and ask for a transfer or something when he came in one afternoon and told me he was moving out! That was the happiest day of my life. I had the room all to myself and I didn’t have to pay the single price.
I could walk around my room naked when I pleased and I could log onto JUB when I pleased and most importantly I could jack off whenever I wanted to and as many times as I wanted to. It was great. I got into my studies and was doing really well and sort of lost myself in work and studies and I even tried out for a play. I had never tried out for a play before and I had always wanted to. My parents were not the greatest and especially my stepmother whom all my friends called the Wicked Witch. She was horrible. She loved to berate me and call me names and tell me how stupid and fat and ugly I was. When I was young she would take a belt and lash me all the time to teach me a lesson. Sometimes it was so bad that I would have these huge welts and black and blue marks all over my legs and butt and back. My dad knew what was going on but he pretended as if he didn’t and just worked longer hours so he would not have to face the truth about his abusive wife. Sometimes I looked so bad I would be embarrassed to even change out in gym class. Timmy knew what had happened when he saw my legs and back one day and he would often shield me as I changed in a corner of the locker room or lend me some sweat pants to wear to cover the bruises. He was the only one that knew and he kept my secret. He knew how embarrassed I was but he never said anything. I loved him even more for that.
So anyway I tried out for this play and I got a part. It wasn’t a huge part but I had about 20 lines and I was in heaven. I was around all these very creative people and it was so cool. Everyone seemed to think I was doing a good job and the director seemed to like me and the job I was doing. For the first time I felt like I belonged to a group and that felt so good. The play was a hit and after the closing night everyone was going to go out to a local bar and celebrate. I wasn’t much of a party person but they invited me to go along and I said yeah sure why not.
When we walked into the bar I knew instinctively it was different. It was called the Cave and it was down these stairs in the basement of this building along Franklin Street in Chapel Hill. I could not believe my eyes when I looked around after my eyes became accustomed to the dark and saw guys dancing with guys and girls dancing with girls and some girls dancing with guys. Oh shit I thought this was great. I felt at home. Everyone was really nice. No one put the moves on me or anything and we celebrated the play. It just felt good to be among friends. I had a few drinks and as I wasn’t much of a drinker I went home to my room early. I was horny and excited as well from all the adrenalin of the play and jacked off in bed and fell asleep.
Two nights later I found myself walking back to the Cave. I went in and saw that it was not all that crowded as it was a week night. I went up to the bar and ordered a beer and sat there drinking it and watching a couple over in the corner kissing and making out. It was such a turn on to finally see two guys kissing and to feel that it was OK. Next thing I knew I felt a tap on my shoulder and well this story is not about that night. I did meet Steve and he showed me the pleasure of gay sex. It wasn’t love but the sex was good and he seemed satisfied with my performance. It felt OK to give my cherry to Steve although if I had my wish it would have been Timmy.
Then I met Jason who was an even better teacher and who really took his time to show me all kinds of ways to have sex and how to please a man. We had fun. Jason knew how to take his time and never rushed me or our many orgasms together. Throughout my Freshmen year I probably slept with 10-12 guys. None of them wanted more than casual sex with me. They were all up-front about it so that was good. I wanted desperately to fall in love and meet my dream guy but it didn’t happen so after sex with a guy from the Cave I would very often go back to my room and jack off thinking about Timmy and what I could do to him if he would just give me the chance.
The one great thing about getting a role in the play was I started to work out with the others guys in the cast and take care of my body for the first time in my life. I wanted to look good on stage and I wanted to look good for the guys at the Cave. So I dropped some of my pounds and my fat rolls went away. I was still not the proud possessor of a hard 8 pac but I looked much better when I stood in front of my mirror and posed. I actually had some muscles!
The guys on JUB all told me it would not work out with Timmy. They all told me he was to straight and would never let me have sex with him. Deep in my heart I knew they were right but I just didn’t want to believe them. I loved Timmy and knew that my love was real and that it could break through his straightness. I knew if somehow we got the chance I could show him and he would love what I could do with him. I knew in my heart of hearts that no girl could ever give him what I could give him. Every time I had sex with another guy I was learning more about men so that given the chance with Timmy I could take him where he had never been before.
Which of course brings us to this story. About two months ago Timmy had called me on the phone and asked if I wanted to go to the beach with him. His uncle had a small camper that had a double bed in it and a small kitchen and bathroom. He wanted to know if I could tow the trailer to a campground he knew about at Dewey Beach Delaware behind my truck. I told him yeah that would be great. Inside I wondered if it would be a good idea to spend a whole week with Timmy in the confines of a small trailer but I threw caution to the wind and told him yes. Timmy seemed genuinely happy when I told him yes.
So here I was driving home after my first year at college. I had a great year. I got good grades, I had been in 3 plays, I had met some great gay guys and had my cherry busted. I felt good about myself and I felt that others liked me for who I was and who I had become. I pulled into our driveway and saw the Witch Mobile parked by the garage. Oh shit I thought don’t let her be in one of her moods. Please don’t let her be in one of her moods.
I pulled my truck up next to her car and saw that my dad was not at home. Of course that was not unusual as he stayed away as much as possible. He was always telling us he had to bring home the bacon. But I knew he really couldn’t stand to be at home. She hadn’t actually touched me since I was about 15 but she still had a mouth and was willing to whip me with her verbal abuse if she couldn’t hit me physically any longer. I got my bags out of the back of the truck and walked into the back door.
“Well look what the cat dragged in,” she said sarcastically to one of my little brothers who looked at me with his wide eyes as he saw me walk in the door. I knew that he was now catching the abuse that I used to get but there was nothing I could do about it except try to let them know I knew. I had tried to deflect her anger towards me when I was living at home so my brothers would be spared the shame of the beatings for as long as possible.
“You look like a real piece of shit,” she said as she looked me up and down. “What a loser you are!”
Ignoring her and trying to stay calm and not lose my cool I said “Hey,” to Mike as he jumped into my arms with a huge bear hug. We hugged each other for a minute for two and then I put him down. “Why don’t you carry my bags up to my room for me OK.” As he was only to glad to have an excuse to get out of the kitchen he grabbed my bags and headed up the back stairs to my room on the third floor of the house.
“I got to go over to Timmy’s house for awhile,” I said as I started to follow Mike up the stairs.
“Whatever, go run to your little queer friend ” she said with disgust in her voice as she turned her back on me and began to stir something on the stove. Why did she hate me so much? I knew part of the reason was that I was not her child. My father’s girlfriend had gotten pregnant when she was 17 and I was born when she and he were 18. She died giving birth to me and I was raised for 2 years by my grandparents. Then dad had met Rosa and she had come into my life with her belt and her mouth. It had been hell ever since.
At least she was leaving me alone for the first time in a long time. Perhaps she was a bit afraid of me since I had gown a few inches and was a bit stronger than I had been when I left. I had lost most of my body fat trying to get in shape for the plays I was in and also trying to look good for the guys I met at the Cave. I didn’t want to be a pudge pot my whole life I thought as I trudged up the stirs to my room. I needed to stay calm and not let her bring me down to her level. Try not to react to her barbs and insults I kept telling myself over and over again as I walked up the stairs.
I lived in a converted attic space and it was actually pretty cool. Way up at the top of this old house we lived in. I had one side of the attic and a huge storage room was on the other side and they had added a bathroom in between which was nice. I didn’t have to share with anyone. When I was in high school I could come up here and escape the wrath of the witch downstairs. I would put on my ear phones and turn up the stereo. I encouraged my brothers to hide out up here anytime they needed to as Rosa did not like to walk up all the stairs to the attic.
I walked into my room and felt instantly at home. It was cosy and I had decorated it with my favorite posters of Johnny Depp, Leonardo DeCaprio and other half naked good looking stars. I had attached them to the sloping walls of the roof. I had a double bed over by the one window and book shelves along with my desk, computer and TV set. I had 2 bean bag chairs as well. Mike was standing by my bed where he had dropped my bags.
“Thanks little man,” I said as I walked over towards him, except you aren’t so little any more. You are really growing up,” I told him as I grabbed him and hugged him. He groaned as I held him and I knew at that moment he was getting beat like I had gotten beat. Mike was 10 years old and his brothers were 8 and 6.
“Oh shit man I am sorry,” I said as I dropped onto the bed. I lifted up his shirt to see the marks on his back. “Oh fuck man I am so sorry.”
“It’s OK Tom. Really I don’t mind and if I get more then Ben and Willie don’t have to get it,” he said between the tears. “Please don’t say anything. It will just make it worse. OK?”
“I don’t know man. I just don’t know if I can keep quiet any longer. Why doesn’t dad do anything. The prick,” I yelled.
“He is scared of her too,” Mike said with a wisdom beyond his years.
“Well maybe this summer while I am here I can get her occupied with other things and you can help me with the lawns so you won’t have to be around OK,” I said.
“Yeah maybe but if I am not around then she will just pick on Ben and Willie and they are so little,” he said.
“Well I will think of something,” I told him at last. “You know you all can come up here and hide out anytime you need to.”
“Yeah we already have a home in your closet,” Mike said with a sour laugh.
I lay back on the bed feeling so bad for my brothers and here I was going off for a week with Timmy. All I could think about was myself. I wanted to suck on Timmy while my little brothers were getting the shit beat out of them. Maybe I should transfer back home to the local college so at least I could protect them for a little while. But I knew that was useless. I had to leave home at some point. I would have to think of something else.
“Look I have to go over to Timmy’s for a while but I will be back OK. Just try and stay out of her way. I love you big man,” I said as I got off the bed and tousled his hair. At least he smiled at me but then after a minute his face went blank again as he thought about what night happed when I left. Perhaps coming home was not a good idea. She might take her anger towards me out on them just because I was around and she knew she couldn’t beat on me any more. I had to think of someway to stop her. There must be something I could do.
I walked down the stairs and saw she was not in the kitchen so I headed out to my truck. Soon I was on the familiar road to Timmy’s house where I knew he was waiting for me. I was so conflicted as I drove. What should I do? I had looked forward to this time alone with Timmy for a long time but I also felt the need to protect my younger brothers from the Evil One. Damn why did life have to be this complicated I thought? I didn’t need this shit in my life. Just when I thought things had turned around for me.
I pulled up to Timmy’s house and was getting out of my truck when he bounded out of his front door like a wild man and ran across the yard and grabbed me in a hug bear hug lifting me off the ground as he swung me around laughing.
“Damn man you look great! Shit what have you been doing with yourself ?” he said as he put me down on the ground and stood back to look me up and down. He had his huge goofy grin that I loved so much and I was melting inside just being in his presence.
“Well I have been in a few plays at school and have been keeping in shape for them,” I replied.
“Well damn man whatever it is you look fine,” he said with a laugh as he threw his arms around me and walked me to his front door. “You lost all those rolls you used to carry around man. I am impressed!”
“Hi Tom how are you,” Mrs Hamilton said as we walked into the living room. She was always so nice and welcoming to me. Like the mother I never had.
“You look great Tom. How was your first year of college?” she said as she got up off the couch where she had been reading the paper and came over to give me a big hug. It felt good to be hugged.
“I certainly hope you got better grades than this young man over here,” she said pointing with a laugh at her son. “I think he spend most of his year at a big party!”
“Aw mom my grades were not all that bad. C’s are pretty good for me” Timmy said sincerely. He was right as C’s were pretty good for him.
“Well Mrs. H. I did really well, I was in three plays and got mostly A’s with a few B’s.” I told her.
“I knew that if you got out of this town you were going to shine Tom. I am so proud of you both. Well let’s get you boys something to eat. I have some of my fried chicken in the oven waiting for you,” she told us both as she walked to the kitchen.
We followed her with our stomachs growling. Mrs. H. was well know for her fried chicken, homemade rolls, green beans and mashed potatoes and I hoped that she had made some of her incredible banana pudding for desert. I tried to watch what I ate this past year but tonight would be a special occasion.
We sat down at the kitchen table and she served us our plates and we dug in. There was silence as we both ate like we hadn’t eaten in 2 years. We giggled like young school girls as we shoveled the food in our open mouths. Finally we pushed our plates away and sat up full and stuffed but of course having saved room for the banana pudding she was setting down in front of us.
“OK Tom tell me what’s on your mind. I can tell something is up with you” Mrs. H. finally said as I started to eat my pudding.
“Aw mom can’t you see he has his mouth full,” Timmy pleaded.
“ Timmy, I just know my Tom and I want an answer,” she told him in her motherly way.
I finished my bite of pudding and put my spoon down and looked up at Mrs. H. and said, “ Is it that obvious?”
She touched the back of my head affectionately with her hand and said with a chuckle, “yeah you have always been pretty easy to read Tom. I don’t think you should ever go to Las Vegas they would take everything you have.” Both she and Timmy laughed at that remark. Mrs. H. liked to play poker and she had played many games with Timmy and me over the years and she always won. I never could develop a poker face and both Timmy and his mom would tease me as they took all my chips!
“Well it’s complicated and I am not sure how to say it but well um well um you know how my step mom is?” I said at last with a kind of choking voice. I had never really discussed my step mom and her abuse with anyone before especially a grown up. It was just to embarrassing. I knew lots of people probably suspected but like with Timmy I just didn’t talk about it. I accepted the abuse as a fact of my life and just tried to make the best of a bad situation.
“Yes, we have never really talked about it but well I have seen some of the marks on your back and legs at various times over the years. I wanted to but I never said anything to you even though it broke my heart to know what she was doing to you,” Mrs. H. said with tears in her eyes.
“Well when I was home I could take it all on me you know. I mean I tried to make sure that she always directed her anger at me and not the boys but now that I am gone well its another story. I sort of thought she might leave them alone cause they were her real kids but Mike was beat up pretty bad when I just saw him and he told me he was trying to take it now like I did for him so she doesn’t go after the little ones. I had sort of put that part of my life away at college and well I hoped it was just me but now I just don’t know what to do,” I said with a few tears welling in my eyes. I was trying hard not to cry. I didn’t want to cry.
“Maybe we need to report her to the police or some social workers,” Mrs. H. said. Timmy was quiet the whole time and he was looking right at me and I was looking at him. I could see tears in his eyes and they made me want to cry even harder as I struggled to keep my tears under control.
“No we can’t do that,” I said. “What would happen to the kids? Mike begged me not to say anything but I just don’t know. I just know I can’t let her continue what she is doing. I just feel bad leaving the boys and going away with Timmy for a week but I am really looking forward to our trip. I need this time away before the summer starts and everything. Oh I just don’t know what to do.”
Mrs. H. leaned down and gave me a hug and when my face hit her chest I just let it all out and started balling like a baby. I wrapped my arms around her back and just let it all out for the first time in my life. She patted my head and held me tightly and then I could feel Timmy rubbing my back as well and massaging my neck
I finally broke away and rubbed my eyes and took a Kleenex Mrs. H. offered me from her pocket.
“Oh I am sorry for breaking down like that.” I said still sobbing and breathing hard.
“Oh Tom don’t ever apologize for letting your emotions out. You have been keeping all this stuff in for way to long. You sweet dear Timmy and I have been very worried about you over the years but thought you would come to us when you were ready. We are both here for you aren’t we Timmy,” she said.
“Yeah man we’ll think of something. Sometimes I just want to kill her so bad for what she did to you,” Timmy said.
“ I was thinking about going over to my Grand’s house and seeing if she could take the boys for a week while I think of some plan.” I said looking up at Mrs. H.
“I think that is a great idea. Do you think she is up for those guys?” Mrs. H said.
“Yeah she loves them and she is old but gets around pretty good. Rosa doesn’t let her keep them very often so I think she would go for it. I know she really loves them. Want to drive over there with me Timmy,” I asked looking at my friend?
“Yeah let’s go. Thanks mom for the great dinner. You’re the best cook in town,” Timmy said with a grin and a wicked laugh giving his mom a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Yeah Mrs. H. thanks so much. I really appreciate it and all you have done for me over the years. you will never know how many times you saved my life by providing me a safe haven,” I told her as we hugged again and walked to the door to go to my Grand’s house.
Timmy wrapped his arm around me as we walked to my truck. We got in and I started up and headed to my Grand’s house.
“Look man I know it took a lot to let go with my mom back there but she is pretty cool for a mom. She won’t spill the beans unless you tell her to. Rosa is such a bitch. Damn man I don’t see how you did it. Look I know you don’t want to talk about it and that’s cool but I am here if you need me OK,” he said as we drove along.
I drove in silence for awhile and then said, “ look Timmy I appreciate you more than you can ever know. All the times you shielded me in the locker room and gave me some sweats to wear so no one would see my bruises and all. You never said anything and I think you are so cool for that and for still being my friend.” I burst into tears again as we pulled in my Grand’s driveway.
“Shit man we are friends,” he said grabbing me in a hug. I sobbed onto his shoulder and my body heaved as I let it out again with my best friend. After a few minutes I broke away wiping my face with the back of my hand.
“God I am such a baby. I can’t believe all this balling stuff. I never do that,” I said as I opened the door. I turned to look at Timmy, “Do I look OK man? I don’t want to upset Grand.”
“Yeah” he said reaching across and wiping my face with his fingers. “Take a few deep breaths. We’ll figure out something.”
I did as Timmy suggested and held onto the steering wheel while I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself. My acting rehearsals and preparation came in handy as I calmed myself down before going in to see my Grand.
My Grand was a great old lady. I really loved her and I knew she loved me. She hated what Rosa did to me but in her position could never say anything. I think she tried to talk with my dad a few times but didn’t get very far. She was always afraid that Rosa would take us away from her so she just kept quiet.
She was a very independent woman and had lived alone since Pops had died about 5 years ago. She drove her self everywhere and did her own shopping and cleaning. She played bridge once or twice a week and volunteered at the hospital 3 days a week. Pretty good for a 76 year old woman I thought as I rang her doorbell. She was pretty classy.
“Tom,” she yelled as he opened the door and saw me standing outside. She grabbed me in a hug and squeezed me. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. You look great!” She kissed me on the face over and over again. I was certainly getting my share of hugs and kisses today. More than I usually got that was for sure. She looked over my shoulder and saw Timmy standing behind me.
“And look at you Timmy. Still as handsome as ever. If I was only 50 years younger,” she laughed as she grabbed him and hugged him and kissed him as well. Timmy was used to Grand and hugged her back and was not at all embarrassed by the attention. Timmy liked attention and he could charm the pants off a tiger or the dress off an old lady if he wanted to I thought to myself.
“Come on in both of you,” she said ushering us into her house. We walked into the living room.
“Can I get you something to drink? A coke or something? Maybe a beer?” she said with a grin.
“No Grand nothing right now but thanks anyway. I really need to ask a huge favor of you if that’s OK,” I said.
She sat down on the couch and Timmy sat next to her and I sat in the chair next to the couch.
“Look if I can arrange it can you take Mike, Ben and Willie for a week?” I said seriously looking her in the eye. My Grand really liked to talk straight with me about most things so I decided to tell it like it was for the first time. My whole life we had all just skirted around the issue of what Rosa did to us but now I had to be honest with myself and those around me in order to protect my little brothers.
“Yes I would love to but well you know how your step mom feels about me.” she said sadly.
“I just didn’t want to give you more than you could handle. I know how busy you are,” I said.
“Oh I can take off and the boys are such a joy. I don’t mind them at all. They love to help out around here and I have lots for them to do,” she said. “But tell me what’s wrong.”
“Timmy and I have this beach trip planned and I really want to go. I have been looking forward to it for a few months. Look I know we have never said it out loud but Rosa is off the deep end. I thought when I left for college that she might just calm down with the boys but now she is picking on Mike and I don’t want to leave them with her while I am gone. I have to think of something to break this cycle and I haven’t come up with a plan yet but I have the whole summer to work on that. I just have to figure out something for the next week,” I blurted out.
“OK, I am so sorry I wasn’t able to protect you and I thought something as going on with Mike but he wouldn’t talk about it with me and your Dad, well you know how he is. He just won’t face up to the reality of the situation and to be truthful he is scared of her. I love my son Tom but he just lost his backbone when he married that woman. I know that’s why he works all the time,.” she said with resignation in her voice.
“Great and thanks Grand” I said jumping up and giving her a big hug. “Let me call Dad.”
I reached for the phone on the end table beside us and dialed my dad’s number at work. He sold insurance and worked lots of hours so he wouldn’t have to be at home. I am not sure why he was the way he was I mean he had such great genes from Grand and Pops but he was a typical Wilbur Milk Toast. He was a good guy overall and always tried to come to anything I did at school but he just wasn’t prepared when my mom died I guess. I always wondered why he married Rosa and what he saw in her. Was she always such a bitch?
“Hello, Peters Insurance how can I help you? ” he answered on the second ring.
“Dad it’s Tom,” I told him.
“Hey Tom its good to hear your voice. When did you get home?” he said.
“I got home this afternoon and I’m over at Grands house with Timmy right now. Look dad I really have to ask you something and I need for you to back me up. I really need this OK.” I said with all the strength I could muster in my voice which wanted to crack. I had to be strong for the both of us.
“OK son what is it?” he replied cautiously.
“Look Dad I know we have never talked about this but I know you know what is going on with Mike. I thought the beatings might stop when I left but it hasn’t. I need for the boys to stay with Grand for a week while I am at the beach with Timmy. When I get home we can figure out something but I really need for you to do this for me,” I said.
There was silence on the phone. No one had ever really addressed the situation about my step mom and her abusive behavior before and I knew he didn’t want to hear it. I also knew that in his heart of hearts he wanted to do something about it but he just didn’t know what to do. Who do you go to for help when your wife is a monster who beats her children? He was afraid for the whole town to know what a wuss he was and was afraid of losing clients. And who would take care of the boys he thought? He didn’t know where to turn and where was a grown man supposed to turn with an abusive wife like Rosa?
“What do you want me to do?” he asked at last.
I took a deep breath. At least this was a good sign. He didn’t say no. “I need for you to call home and tell her that you were talking with your mom and that you told Grand that the boys could come over and stay with her for a week. Don’t make it an option. Tell her you already said yes. OK?” I said.
“OK I will try,” dad replied.
“Dad you can’t just try you have to do it now! I am on my way home and I am going to pack up the boys and bring them over to Grands tonight. If I have to use force with Rosa I will but I would rather not.” I told him with as much force as I could muster. Thank God for my acting lessons. I was really pretty good I thought to myself.
“OK son I’ll do it right now,” he told me. I knew he was scared but hell I thought stand up for once in your life. I wanted to scream at him but couldn’t scream at my dad. I wanted to shake him and wake him up out of the hole he was hiding in. I hung up the phone and took a deep breath. I was shaking with all the emotions I was feeling.
“You did good Tom,” Grand said. She stood up and so did Timmy and I. She took me in another hug and now she was crying. “I should have protected you my little angel. I don’t know why you don’t hate me for not protecting you all those years. I could see what she did to you but Pops and I just didn’t know what to do. I think it killed Pops to see what she did to you and your dad.” Now she was crying and it was my turn to comfort her. I wiped the tears off her face and kissed her.
“Its OK Grand. It’s all in the past now. OK. We are going to find a way to move forward and we aren’t going to let the past keep us trapped. Our job now is to help Mike and Ben and Willie. Nothing else matters.” I said as I comforted her. “Timmy and I are going to get the boys and we’ll be back in about an hour OK. Can you get their rooms ready by then?’ I asked.
“Yeah I will have everything ready and I’ll have a snack for them as well,” she said tears still streaming down her face. “Go on now both of you. Shoo! I’ll be OK.”
I looked at Timmy and we nodded our heads slightly and left the house for the truck once again.
“Man I have never seen you like this before. It’s like you are a completely new person Tom. I love it. You’re awesome man. I just wish you had been like this in high school and maybe things would have been different for you,” he told me as we drove to my house. he kept looking over at me as we drove along with this curious look on his beautiful face.
“Thanks man you are the best friend anyone could ever have. Look when we get there you need to watch my back in case she gets violent. I hope she will just leave it alone but just in case follow my lead OK,” I told him.
We pulled up behind my house next to her car which was still parked in the same spot in the driveway and got out of the truck and walked in the back door.
“Well look at the two faggots,” Rosa spat at us as we walked in the door. “You been out screwing each other you freaks. God you both make me sick to my stomach.” Where did she get this stuff? Where did she get this venom that was inside her?
I didn’t say anything but walked past her to the back stairs with Timmy in front of me.
“What’s wrong with you cats got your tongue? You little shit come back here when I am talking to you. I am not finished with your little faggoty ass yet.” she screamed at us.
We continued up the stairs and I walked to Mike’s room where he was crouched on his bed in a tight little ball. Rosa had obviously had her way with him earlier as his almost naked little body was covered with welts and bruises. She had stripped him of everything but his underwear.
“Oh shit I am so sorry little man” I said as I ran over to the bed and picked him up and hugged him and looked around for his clothes. “Do you have a suitcase,” I asked him? He pointed to the closet and Timmy went over to open the door. Timmy was as shaken as I had ever seen him. He was not prepared to see what Rosa was capable of and what she did with me while pretty bad was nothing compared to what she had done to little Mike in my absence. There was no way I would ever let them back in the house again alone with her.
Mike was shaking and sobbing as I tried to hold him gently in my arms. I didn’t want to touch the bruises and welts anymore than necessary. I knew from first hand experience how painful they could be.
Timmy opened the closet door and jumped back a step when he discovered both Ben and Willie crouched down on the floor of the closet in the dark crying and sobbing. They looked terrified and I didn’t want them to see Mike like he was but what could I do? Timmy hunched down and held out his arms and they jumped into his wide embrace. He hugged them and stood up turning them away from Mike and I so they wouldn’t see their brother like this and carried them to the door saying,” lets go into your room and find you some clothes and your toys to take to your grands OK. Your going to spend a few nights over there OK guys?” he tried to keep his voice happy when I knew he was furious. I could tell from his body language that he was mad but I guess he should be an actor as well.
Ben and Willie put their heads on Timmy’s shoulders as he walked out the room but from their wide eyes I could see that they saw briefly what their mother had done to their brother. They had been forced to listen behind the closed door in the dark closet and imagine what she was doing but had not seen it. What were they thinking? How could a mother do this to her own children?
“Look Mike lets get your clothes on OK.” I said to Mike as I helped him on with his pants. He winced as we pulled them on but he was a little soldier just like I had been when I was his age. God is was amazing what a young child could learn to live with I thought as we got him all dressed and then took a suitcase out of the closet and started to fill it with clothes, books and toys. “If there is anything you want get it now OK. You are going to stay over at Grand’s house for a week while I am gone OK.”
Mike just nodded to me and grabbed his game boy and a stuffed bear that I had given him when he was 6. He loved that bear.
“Just what the hell do you think you are doing you little fuck ,” Rosa screamed and spat at me from the door way. She had a belt in her hands.”You aren’t taking Mike anywhere ever! You and your little lover boy friend can just get the hell out of my house before I use this belt on you!”
Had she forgotten that I was all grown up now. In her rage and in her illness did she really think she could overpower me and Timmy? She was really sicker than I thought and she seemed to have really fallen over the edge of some deep abyss. It suddenly struck me that she was really mentally ill and she was truly crazy.
“Look I am taking the boys over to Grands for a week. Didn’t dad call you?,” I said very calmly. I wanted to explode but I knew that I had to stay calm. I put myself between Mike and her. She came into the room with a horrible expression or rage on her face. I had never seen anyone look like that before even in acting class when out teacher would ask us to assume different expressions of fear, anger, rage, humor etc.
“Yeah that little shit called me and I told him flat out no way was he taking my boys to her house. That stupid bitch wants to get her hands on my boys but she never will as long as I have a breath in my body. They are my boys and I will do whatever I want to with them. They belong to me. Do you hear me you little turd? You piece of shit they are mine. Now get the fuck out of my house you faggot. Don’t ever come back. Go running over to your Granny bitches house with your little boyfriend. My boys are never going to go over to that bitches house gain. I told him she would never see them again ever,” she was screaming and spittle was flying out of her mouth as she spoke.
“Look we are going and that is that. There is nothing you are going to do to stop us so just turn around and go to your room or back downstairs and let us get on with it. If I have to I will use force so don’t make me OK,” I told her. I felt my voice cracking and she could see I was scared shit less. All the old hurts and beatings came back to me as we stood there face to face in Mikes room. I was terrified but I also knew what I had to do for the first time in my life.
“Ha you little faggot you couldn’t make me do anything. You’re just a little fairy just like your father and you have contaminated my boys and are trying to make them into fairies too! Well you’re plan won’t work mister. Get your sorry fat ass out of my house.” She was so full of venom. How did she know I was a fairy I wondered? I hadn’t ever really acted like a fairy. Shit Timmy and the boys were all hearing her yell all this stuff out. What would they think? I couldn’t worry about that now I just had to get Mike and Timmy and the boys out of this house.
“Rosa step out here,” I heard a voice say and then saw my father behind her in the hallway. I had never before heard him talk in a voice like that. He sounded strong and like he had finally found a backbone.
“Get the fuck out of my way you stupid little shit of a man. You are so worthless just like your piece of shit son by that piece of shit whore of a mother,” she spat at him as she whirled the belt through the air. He managed to catch the belt with his hand and grabbed her arm forcibly and moved her out into the hallway. His knuckles were white he was holding her arm so hard. She was a strong woman but his touch seemed to be controlling her. “Come on to our room now,” he told her calmly but forcefully as he pulled her along the hallway. She continued to scream at him and tried to hit him and she said terrible things as she let him half walk half drag her down the hall towards their bedroom. I guess I could have understood her behavior if she was a drunk or a drug addict but she never drank or did drugs. She just physically, verbally and mentally abused her kids and her husband.
Mike was trembling as I took his hand and picked up his suitcase and walked out into the hallway where we met Timmy who was carrying a duffel bag on his back and Ben and Willie in his arms. They looked scared and were silent with their heads lying on Timmy’s shoulders as we walked down the stairway to the kitchen and out the back door. It felt like a run for freedom. My legs were shaking and I thought I would fall down at any minute but I knew I had to be strong for the boys. I had to be stronger than I had ever been before. I wanted to just fall down and cry but I didn’t have time for that now.
Timmy put Ben and Willie in the back of the truck threw the duffel bag in and Mikes suitcase as well. He then jumped in the back effortlessly I thought like a gymnast. God he was a friend and tonight he was a real friend. I knew why I loved him so much. He looked at me and smiled a small tight smile as he put his arms around Ben and Willie and drew them into an embrace.
“Do you want to sit in the back with Timmy or up front with me,” I asked Mike?
Mike motioned for the front with me and I opened the driver side door and Mike climbed in the truck and he slid across the seat. I would have normally made him put on his seat belt but knew that there was no way he could sit down so I just let it go. I did fasten mine seatbelt and I started the truck and we drove off. He was kneeling on the seat looking out the back window.
“Look Mike I need to ask you something and I need for you to be a big boy OK,” I said as we drove along. He nodded at me that he was listening. He hadn’t said a word since I had found him in his room.
“OK I need to stop at the drug store up here and buy one of those disposable cameras. When we get to Grands house I need to take you upstairs to your room and I have to take some pictures of what mom did to you tonight. It’s real important. Its so we can get her some help OK? I know it will be hard but I have to do it but I want your permission OK,” I told him. I needed to level with him for the first time in his life and I needed his cooperation as well.
He was crying as he nodded his head in ascent. I pulled into the parking lot of the drug store. “Thanks man I really appreciate that. I just wish I could have stopped it. You do know that don’t you? I am going to stick by you and its never going to happen again as long as I have a breath in my body.” He looked at me and forced a small smile on his face. At least it was a smile. Did he really believe that I could save him from the abuse? I hoped so.
I got out of the truck and told Timmy that I needed to go in and pick up some stuff at the drug store. He nodded at me while he held onto both the boys with his arms. They had their arms wrapped tightly around him. I went inside and bought the camera and we drove to Grand’s house. We parked and got everyone out of the truck with all their stuff and Grand came out to greet us.
She kissed the boys and hugged Ben and Willie. Mike held back but did allow her to give him a quick kiss and a hug. We walked inside and Grand took Ben and Willie to the kitchen for some cake and ice cream while Timmy, Mike and I went upstairs with all the luggage. We walked into the room Mike used on the infrequent times he was allowed to sleep over at Grand’s house. We walked in and I put his suitcase on the floor. Timmy had carried the duffel bag to the other bedroom and then came back in the room with Mike and me. I was glad for his presence and as a possible future witness if it came to that.
I squatted down on the floor so I was eye to eye with Mike and said to him as straight as I could, “ OK big man now I need to you to take off your clothes except for your underwear OK. I need to get some photos of your back and your legs and then you can just lower the back of your underwear so I can get a shot of your butt. OK. I am sorry big guy but I have to do it. Do you understand why?”
He nodded at me and then Mike took off his shirt and his shoes and socks and then his pants. He turned around and even I wanted to vomit and scream and yell like hell. How could anyone do something like this to a 10 year old innocent boy. His back was covered with huge welts and bruises and was all black and blue. Some areas were bleeding and raw. The backs of his legs were just the same all raw and red. I started taking photos but I felt like throwing up as I snapped picture after picture. Mike was silent the entire time but I could hear Timmy breathing hard behind me. Mike lowered the backs of his underwear and I took some quick photos of his backside. I wanted to scream and I wanted to cry and I wasn’t sure which I wanted more.
I then looked in his suitcase and took out his pajamas. Mike took them from me and put them on. We could worry about the blood and stuff later.
“Do you want some ice cream and cake” I asked him?
He nodded his head and we all walked downstairs to the kitchen where Ben and Willie were seated at the kitchen table eating their cake and ice-cream and talking with Grand. They all looked up as we entered the room and Grand got up and cut Mike a piece of cake and put a large scoop of ice cream on top. She could see that he was in no shape to sit down so she handed him his plate and he ate standing up never saying a word.
Ben and Willie started talking again and finally finished their treat. I looked at the kitchen clock and was amazed to find it was 9:30 PM.
Grand bustled all of us upstairs and we got Ben and Willie into their beds. I helped her tuck them in and they begged Timmy to read them a story. He got a story book and began to read to them while Grand and I took Mike to his room. He got into bed and lay down on his stomach and I covered him up as gently as I could. I tucked him in being careful not to hurt him.
I squatted down beside the bed tucking in his stuffed bear as well.
“Look big man you were great tonight. Your moms not well and she can’t help herself sometimes OK. It wasn’t your fault and you protected your little brothers and that’s a good thing. You are so special to both Grand and me and I want you to know that OK! You will always be my big man OK. I love you so much,” I told him looking him in the eye. His eyes were big and full but I could see that he understood what I was saying.
“From now on we are honest with each other no matter what OK?” I told him.
He leaned up a little and brought his arms out from under the covers and hugged my neck and kissed me. I could hear Grand crying softly in the background. “Thanks Tom,” he told me in my ear. “Will you sleep in here with me and Grumpy the Grizzly Bear tonight?”
“Yeah I will sit here with you till you fall asleep and then I have to run Timmy home OK. I will be back in a little while and I will make myself a pallet right here on the floor beside your bed. If you need anything at all you let Grand know or me OK. We love you big man. We really love you. Grand will sit here with you and sing you some of her wonderful lullabies while I take Timmy home,”I told him with tears in my eyes. I was trying not to cry and I held back my tears. Grand got me a chair and I sat on it holding Mike’s hand as he fell asleep. He looked like an angel as he lay there sleeping.
I finally got up and turned to the doorway where Timmy was watching with Grand. We walked out of the room and went downstairs without talking.
“Look Grand I need to take Timmy home and talk with him some. I’ll be back in an hour or so. I won’t be long. Will you please sit with Mike in case he wakes up till I get back OK?,” I asked Grand.
“Of course I will,” she replied. “It was really bad tonight wasn’t it?” she said crying and sobbing.
“Yeah it was maybe the worst. Worse than whatever she used to do to me. I realized tonight she is sick Grand. She really doesn’t know what she is doing. She is mentally ill and now I hope that Dad will be convinced to get her the help she needs. But I swear before you and Timmy and on my grave those boys will never be in the house with her alone ever again.”
Grand nodded at me and we walked to the front door. “Your dad called me and told me he called Dr. Monroe and they had her committed tonight for observation. Apparently after you left she just broke down and became catatonic. Your father will need all his strength to keep her there. I just worry that he is not strong enough. She is a hard woman.”
“I took some photos of what she did to Mike and if that is not enough to give him the backbone then I will just have to find a social worker who can help us,” I said. “Timmy saw what she did and he will testify if he needs to. At least dad came home tonight when we needed him. I am not sure how I would have handled her if he hadn’t come in when he did. She was like out of control. Completely out of control. She was like another person. She was yelling and calling us names.”
I kissed and hugged Grand and she kissed Timmy on the cheek and then we walked to the truck and drove to his house. It felt like a long ride in silence but somehow I felt as if the largest weight in the world had been taken off my shoulders. The silence was good and neither of us broke it as we were lost in our own private thoughts. But at least it was now out in the open and the years of abuse melted away. It would never be gone from my memories but for the first time in my life I didn’t hate Rosa anymore. I realized tonight how sick she was. That didn’t excuse her actions or my fathers actions in protecting her all these years but it did explain what she did. But now I knew she was sick and needed to be locked away forever as far as I was concerned.
We parked outside Timmy’s house I turned off the truck and we just sat there in the dark not saying anything. I could hear Timmy breathing and I am sure he could hear me as well.
Finally Timmy said, “Man I just don’t know what to say. I had no idea anyone could do that to someone else but man you were just so awesome tonight the way you took charge and stood up for your little brothers. Damn you were awesome man.”
“Thanks for all your help tonight. I couldn’t have done it without you Timmy,” I told him as we sat there in the dark. “Look I have to get back to Grands. I don’s want Mike to wake up and find me gone but I’ll be over tomorrow to look at your uncle’s trailer and get all the shit we need and stuff so we can take off on Sunday morning bright and early.”
“Are you sure you want to go man I mean I can understand if you want to cancel,” he told me.
“No man I need it more than ever. I need to get away and it will be good for Grand to spend some time with the boys and get to know them. I think the beach and the water will be just what I need to process all this shit and come up with a plan that will work. Tonight was horrible but I think Mike will be OK. And Dad put Rosa in for observation which should hold her till I get back. I’ll have the photos printed tomorrow and I am sure they will be all we need to be able to convince the doctors and my dad that she needs to be kept away for a long time.”
“What if the guys at the photo place tell the police,” Timmy asked.
“Well then its out of our hands. I ‘ll just have to take that chance,” I said.
“Look man I want to help you all I can tomorrow. Come over as soon as you can and we can get started. Bring Mike with you OK,” Timmy said.
Timmy got out of the truck and turned back and leaned his head inside. “Thanks man for finally letting me in. I have wanted you to talk with me for so long man but I just didn’t know what to do to make you. You’re pretty stubborn you know!” he said with a laugh as he slammed the door and ran across the lawn to his house.
I drove back to Grands house thinking about all that had happened to me on this day. I certainly had changed as everyone remarked. I was different. I had grown up and taken charge of my life. I felt good. I was still hopelessly in love with the straightest guy I knew but somehow I didn’t care anymore. We were going to spend a week at the beach together and if I could get him to share his cock with me then so be it. If not well then that would be OK as well.
I let myself into Grands house and turned off all the lights and locked the doors and went upstairs to Mike’s room. He was still asleep and Grand was sitting in the chair by his bed softly singing to him. I watched her for a moment and then she saw me and got up kissed Mike on the forehead and came over to the door. She kissed me and we hugged for a moment and then broke apart.
“You are a wonderful young man Tom and I thank you for having the courage to do what you did tonight. You did what none of us could do before and you have changed at least three lives forever because of your actions. Not many young men your age can say that. Plus you have changed your fathers life, my life and your life. Thank you so much. Now let me get you some stuff to make up a pallet,” she said.
We busied ourselves with getting a few blankets and pillows and I made myself a small pallet on the floor. We kissed goodnight and she went to her room. I went and checked on Ben and Willie and they were sound asleep in their beds. I then went to the bathroom down the hall and relieved myself and looked at myself in the mirror. I had changed I thought as I looked at my reflection. I was different. I looked pretty good I thought with a chuckle. I turned out the light and went to the bedroom where I kissed Mike on the forehead and got under my blanket on the floor and promptly fell into a deep and very restful sleep.