This is my First attempt. Please be kind. 
Another night of partying has passed. He lay there beside me, sleeping the alcohol away. I watched as his chest heaved up and down with every breath, and as he slept like an angel, sent to me long ago. Then, he stirred, with me still staring on...
"Uhrnnn... What the fuck hit me? Did you get the license plate on that thing?" he asked, holding his head, looking as though he feared losing it once he let go. I could just laugh at the sight of him with his usual hangover. "Dude, you could blame the headache on a certain Jose Cuervo. You were totally out last night! I had to take you back to my place."
"Oh... I like what you've done to your walls... But right now... bathroom..." he stood up, his sweat glistening in the morning sun. I pointed towards the bathroom door while at the same time standing up.
"Dude, where's my shirt?"
"Oh, you got sick all over yourself. I put it in the wash to soak last night. I'll just dry it out and give it back later."
"I did? We have to stop partying like this Chris."
His eyes met mine. Those almond shaped eyes... We both had dark brown eyes and black hair, though mine always had some very loud color streaked, and his was shorter. His eyes were so much prettier than mine, though. Paul's eyes were thin and almond shaped, and his right brow was accented with a thin scar he got when we were younger, running diagonally across his eyebrow. A thin short scar that made his eyes so much prettier. I loved how his eyes were so focused, yet full of life, and I could stare at them for hours. His eyes were his most prized assets, as he used them everyday in his line of work, photography.
While he was busy in the bathroom, I went to the kitchen to cook up some breakfast, scrambled eggs, toast and a healthy helping of bacon for him. He loved his bacon. As for me, the coffee was brewing. I scraped the meal up into a plate and was about to put it on the table, when he came into the kitchen, dressed in only a towel, apparently freshened up from a shower. He was holding his pants and underwear. He was wet, and seeing those abs, fit and cut from rock climbing and mountaineering, made me almost wet myself. I looked away awkwardly.
"Look, Chris, I know you don't eat breakfast, so you don't have to do all this for me."
"I don't, but I know you enjoy a good breakfast. And since you're in my house, I'm providing for your needs." I handed him his plate and 2 pills. "Take those after eating, they'd help with the headache. Be sure to drink lots of fluids today. You need to rehydrate yourself after last night."
"Yes mother." He chuckled under his breath as I wrinkled my nose at him.
"What'll I do without you?" Paul asked, his mouth still full of egg and bacon.
"I dunno, puke all over the place?" I replied, giggling.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Paul and I had been friends for a long time. 22 years to be exact. We met and became friends in kindergarten, but we became best friends in 3rd grade. I remember that day so well.
It was the boy scouts father-son camping thing. Naturally, we didn't bring our dads. My parents were divorced, and mom had full custody of me and my siblings, and his father passed away when he was 3. The other kids were teasing me, and he stood up for me and chased them away. I thanked him many times over, and even kissed him on the cheek for that.
"Mom!!! Chris just kissed me!" He ran off to his mother.
Later on, he told me he didn't actually mind the kiss. He never did stop standing up for me and helping me out. He helped me chase away inner demons.
He was the first person I told that I was gay. He didn't mind that either.
"I don't give a rat's ass what you are. We've been together for so long."
He was always there, even when guys broke my heart. He came running when I was crying, offering me his chest and shoulders for me to cry on, as he held me tenderly in a warm embrace. After spending a day with him, I was almost back on my feet. I knew nothing could go wrong when he was there. Paul was my rock, my best friend.
Every now and then, he would flirt with me, harmlessly, of course. A small tap on the ass or a touch here and there were his thing. I knew they meant nothing to him, as he didn't want to compromise his relationship with his girlfriend. But those hugs, those taps and touches... those were heaven for me.
He never really did understand that I was in love with him. If he did, it was like he didn't know. I know that it just cannot be between the two of us, and I did not want to compromise our relationship. He was the best thing that happened to me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Hell-ooooo... Chris? You still there?" He waved his hands in front of me. Apparently, I blanked out reminiscing.
"Uhm.. yeah. You were saying?" I asked, bewildered.
"I was asking you if you were gonna do anything today. My shoot got cancelled today, and I thought that maybe we could hang out the rest of the day."
"I have some presentations to go through," I said meekly.
"Come on, dude! It's not like I'm in town everyday. Please? I wanna spend some time with you. I haven't seen you for a month!"
Who am I to deny that? "Sure. I'll go get ready."
"What about my clothes?" he asked, motioning to his shorts and underwear beside him, on the barstool.
"What about them?" I giggled and ran for the bathroom. He threw his shorts at me. He hated doing laundry.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
We packed up and left my house, and loaded the gear on the car. We were gonna go hiking, well, I was going hiking and huffing and puffing. For him, it was a lovely stroll. I wasn't in bad shape. I just wasn't in his shape. Sure, I went to the gym, but I don't have a 6 pack or cut arms like he did. I was just... me.
It was a 2 hour uphill walk, and my legs were killing me. He told me it was going to be worth it once I got to where we were headed. Fantasy after fantasy went flying through my head, including one where we were kissing passionately amidst the swinging vines. This was one Tarzan I wouldn't mind discovering.
We reached a plateau. A small clearing around 3/4 of the way up. There was a waterfall, that met a small pool. The water was clear and blue. The grass here was soft, unlike the ones I passed, that cut and pricked me when I walked. He put down his pack.
"Oi, we're here. Unload your gear. I'm going for a swim." He took of his shirt, and his sweaty pecs and abs called to me. I thought he was gonna dive in like that, but he started undoing the buttons in his pants.
"What are you doing?" I inquired, my left eyebrow raised. I have never seen him naked before.
"Relax Chris, no one goes here. Are you coming?" He slowly pulled down his cargos, and was tugging on the waistband of his boxers. I just stood there, and my pack landed on the grass behind me with a soft thud. I was watching my best friend, the object of my wet dreams since I was 12, undress before me.
"Well, take your clothes off already!" He said, and I did so, while still glancing at his beautiful bod. When the boxers came off, my jaw was hanging loose from its hinge. His cock was beautiful, and it was hard. It was around 7.5 inches, which slightly curved upward. It was as tan as he was, with a trail of hair leading from his navel down to his nether regions. The hair around the cock and balls was soft and black. The shaft was smooth, and only the slightest veins could be seen. He was cut, and the head was nice. It was smooth and made a little ridge where it met the shaft. Very nice indeed.
I undressed quite quickly, and he jumped into the pool. I followed soon after. The water was cool and refreshing. It was very clear, and as we swam under the falls, where the water massaged our backs, we got to talking.
"Chris, you've been there for me all my life. I really don't know where I'd be now if it weren't for you."
"Well, you've been there for me too, Paul. I am much closer to you than anyone else. you even know more about me than I do about me."
"Yeah, but still... Thank you for that." He went closer to me and gave me a hug... I could feel his muscles relaxing themselves around me, and his cock was hardening by my thigh.
"I love you, Chris. Like a brother."
"I love you too...." But I knew that I loved him more than that. It was very painful to accept, but I did. I hoped that one day, we will be together. Not as friends, but something else. It was what made me get up everyday. It was the one thing that kept me sane.
After the bath, we took some packed sandwiches and laid a blanket out. He lay down, and I rested my head on his stomach. We were both still naked.
"Paul?"
"Yeah?"
"Where do you see the both of us in ten years?"
"Well, we'll still be there for each other. That's for sure. Why?"
"Nothing." I dozed off a bit later, only to wake up with him still under me.
"Oh good, you're awake. I fell asleep too. That pool's the best."
I rolled to my side and looked at him. "Sorry about that. You're just so soft and warm. Hahaha."
"Hey, I'm no couch. Geroffme."
So we stood up and packed up, as it was getting quite late. We went down the mountain, which was much easier than going up. When we reached the bottom, and back to where I parked my car, he tapped me on my shoulder.
"Hey Chris, Liz would pick me up from here. She called while you were asleep... I won't be in town for the next couple of weeks, so hang in there, ok? You know my number. Just call me if you need anything man."
"K..." My head hung low. I didn't know how to react to his statement. He was leaving me again, and everytime he does that, it hurts. I was missing him already.
Liz's car stopped and honked once. And he was off. I didn't know when I would see him again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A month passed by. It was almost Paul's birthday. For the past 5 years, I have been the one hosting his party. I enjoyed this part of the year very much, as I was preparing every detail. I have actually been looking around for some ideas, and came up with a few the previous week. I just needed to ask him which one he preferred. Or I could throw him a surprise party like 2 years ago. He loved that.
So I went home and started to think up a great way to surprise him while sorting my mail. What I saw next shocked me.
It was an invitation to his party. From Liz. It wasn't a surprise party.
I called in to RSVP.
"Hello?"
"Liz! Hi, It's Chris." God, my cheery voice was so fake.
"Oh. hey." Hers was so cold. She didn't like me.
"Yeah, about Paul's party. I'm calling in to confirm."
"Ok. Bye."
"Wai..."
She hung up on me? I knew she didn't like me, but she had to at least be civil.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The day of the party came by so quickly. I was carrying his gift, a nice set of mugs we both saw one day when we were just hanging out. He loved it so much, but said it was a bit too expensive. So I bought it when he wasn't looking, and hid it in my house since then. That was 2 months ago. Just as I was about to walk to my car, my phone rang. It was his house.
"Hey Paul!"
"No, it's me... Liz. Paul was in an accident."
The world stopped. I didn't understand anything else after that, except a few words here and there, like "mountain, blood," and everything was going black...
The mugs never got to him. They broke on that day.
I asked which hospital it was, and drove my way there. I didn't know what to do. Paul was the only one there for me, and I needed to be there for him. That was all I could think about. I needed to get to him.
When I got to the hospital, they wouldn't let me see him. It was family only, and Mrs. Geisler was already there, crying.
"Mama, what happened?" I asked. I started calling her mama since high school.
"Oh Chris... Paul was in an accident. He needs blood. He had already lost a lot of it when they found him at the bottom of the cliff. He had his camera with him. I think he was going to take a picture when his foot slipped off the foothold."
"What can I do to help?"
"Do you know anyone with blood type A-?"
"No... I'm a B+..." I said these words, choking, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't help the one I love.
"I'm an A-," said the woman behind us. It was Liz. I hated her more. But I hugged her so tight that evening.
"Thank you Liz. Really, thank you," I whispered.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I stayed in the hospital, looking at him through a window. Everyday I was there. And everyday, I wouldn't let him know I was there. I felt so helpless, and he was counting on me. Mama was counting on me. I would cry everytime I would see him in pain, with all those wires and tubes attached to him.
The day came when he was transferred to a room. This was after a couple of surgeries and when his condition stabilized. He took a nasty blow to the head, and they had to make sure there was no permanent damage to the brain. He was gonna be okay. They allowed friends inside now. But I couldn't bear to see him like that. I felt so guilty about not being able to do anything. Each night, Mama would call me, and tell me that Paul was looking for me. She understood how I felt, but I needed more time.
On the day before he was to be released, I was there. Inside. I was sure that he was going to be okay. He was sleeping. I held his hand and cried.
"H...hey."
"Hey Paul. How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay. You didn't come and visit... I was looking for you."
"I... I... got caught up in work... Sorry..."
"It's ok dude. Here, I got you something... Mom had it printed for me."
He handed me an envelope, and inside was a spectacular image of a sunset. The city lay beneath him as the large orange sun was turning a magnificent shade of red. The sky was on fire, with the cityscape a mix of purple and grey.
"Is this..."
"Ye...ah. That was what I was taking a picture of. I want you to have it."
"But... you fell."
"Not before I took that. The memory card was still intact. Mom figured out how to put it on a disk and have it printed."
I hugged him tenderly and cried. He ran his fingers through my hair and made me feel safe. Secure. Loved. He held me close and fell asleep.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The party was postponed until a week after he was released. I, of course, had to buy him a new gift. A camera. It was gonna get him the exact model of his old one. It was not cheap.
My phone rang. If this was another accident, I wouldn't know what to do anymore.
It was Paul.
"Hey Chris, you're late! Get your tight ass down here. Pronto. I gotta talk to you about something."
"I... I have to tell you something too."
"Yeah, get here. We'll talk later. See ya."
This was it. I was gonna tell him everything, how i loved him everyday for 5 years now, how i dream about him, about us... I was gonna apologize to him for being so helpless in the midst of his peril. I want him, need him to be with me.
The drive to his place was the longest I've ever had. Thoughts raced in my mind, about how he would take the news. I was anxious about it, my heart raced and each breath i took was heavy. I was sweating and shaking. But I needed to tell him. Not for him, but for me. I need to know whether I can continue on like that. Seeing him in the hospital has awakened me. I really loved him, more than I loved anyone else. And I did not like feeling hopeless when he was like that. He was there for me when I needed him the most. He was there to hug me and comfort me, even if he was lying in a hospital bed.
I parked my car and entered the elevator. A few more minutes and I would be there.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Hey Paul," I said, as he answered the door. I gave him a tight hug.
"Chris! So glad you made it."
"Uhm... Could we talk... alone?"
"Sure. I have to tell you something too. I'm getting married! You're the first person to know."
Ouch. With those words, he shattered everything. He loves her, yes. But that meant that he would be taken away from me. I would still be helpless if another situation like that came. My Paul would be... gone.
"Oh. Congratulations! Oh my god, I'm so happy for you..." I was holding back the tears. My voice cracked.
"Chris, are you okay? What was it you're gonna tell me."
"Oh, it wasn't important. I... I gotta go. Just wanted to drop this off. Congratulations on the wedding..." I walked away and down the stairs I went. Somewhere between the third and fourth floor, I cried. I sat down and cried. He was gone.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Dear Paul,
I'm sorry I had to leave this way. So sorry that it was so sudden. I didn't know how to handle everything I was going through. I'm sorry that mom had to give you this note.
You see Paul, I love you. You were the one who kept me going. You were there for me in my times of need, and you've been with me every step of the way. But you're getting married. Someone else is going to be with you from now on. Liz loves you. And I know you love Liz. There was simply no room for me in your life, and I couldn't handle that.
I'm so sorry it had to be this way. I love you Paul. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Happiness that I could not have given you.
Goodbye. I'll see you on the other side.
Chris"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I do not know what would have happened if I had lived. I do not know If Paul would have loved me back.
Paul and Liz got married 2 years after my death. The engagement was not supposed to be that long, but Paul insisted on mourning me. He did not want to get married so quickly. He did not have a best man.
Everyday, Paul would stop by my grave and cry. He did this until he was 80. And everyday, he would say sorry. Everyday, he would put one lily on my headstone.
Every year, on the same day that he took me there for the first time, Paul would go up the mountain and swim in the pool. And then he would cry. I do not know what he was thinking, but he often said sorry to me. Every single time.
They had a daughter, and named her Christina. She was a beautiful girl. Up to this day, she has no godfather.
Paul would cry himself to sleep sometimes, when he looked at the sunset picture he took before he fell. He never changed his camera. Newer models came, a lot better than what I have given him, but he never changed it. Years of wear and tear were obvious, but he never gave up on that camera. He never gave up on me.
Criticism is welcome... Please be gentle.
My Best Friend's Lover
Another night of partying has passed. He lay there beside me, sleeping the alcohol away. I watched as his chest heaved up and down with every breath, and as he slept like an angel, sent to me long ago. Then, he stirred, with me still staring on...
"Uhrnnn... What the fuck hit me? Did you get the license plate on that thing?" he asked, holding his head, looking as though he feared losing it once he let go. I could just laugh at the sight of him with his usual hangover. "Dude, you could blame the headache on a certain Jose Cuervo. You were totally out last night! I had to take you back to my place."
"Oh... I like what you've done to your walls... But right now... bathroom..." he stood up, his sweat glistening in the morning sun. I pointed towards the bathroom door while at the same time standing up.
"Dude, where's my shirt?"
"Oh, you got sick all over yourself. I put it in the wash to soak last night. I'll just dry it out and give it back later."
"I did? We have to stop partying like this Chris."
His eyes met mine. Those almond shaped eyes... We both had dark brown eyes and black hair, though mine always had some very loud color streaked, and his was shorter. His eyes were so much prettier than mine, though. Paul's eyes were thin and almond shaped, and his right brow was accented with a thin scar he got when we were younger, running diagonally across his eyebrow. A thin short scar that made his eyes so much prettier. I loved how his eyes were so focused, yet full of life, and I could stare at them for hours. His eyes were his most prized assets, as he used them everyday in his line of work, photography.
While he was busy in the bathroom, I went to the kitchen to cook up some breakfast, scrambled eggs, toast and a healthy helping of bacon for him. He loved his bacon. As for me, the coffee was brewing. I scraped the meal up into a plate and was about to put it on the table, when he came into the kitchen, dressed in only a towel, apparently freshened up from a shower. He was holding his pants and underwear. He was wet, and seeing those abs, fit and cut from rock climbing and mountaineering, made me almost wet myself. I looked away awkwardly.
"Look, Chris, I know you don't eat breakfast, so you don't have to do all this for me."
"I don't, but I know you enjoy a good breakfast. And since you're in my house, I'm providing for your needs." I handed him his plate and 2 pills. "Take those after eating, they'd help with the headache. Be sure to drink lots of fluids today. You need to rehydrate yourself after last night."
"Yes mother." He chuckled under his breath as I wrinkled my nose at him.
"What'll I do without you?" Paul asked, his mouth still full of egg and bacon.
"I dunno, puke all over the place?" I replied, giggling.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Paul and I had been friends for a long time. 22 years to be exact. We met and became friends in kindergarten, but we became best friends in 3rd grade. I remember that day so well.
It was the boy scouts father-son camping thing. Naturally, we didn't bring our dads. My parents were divorced, and mom had full custody of me and my siblings, and his father passed away when he was 3. The other kids were teasing me, and he stood up for me and chased them away. I thanked him many times over, and even kissed him on the cheek for that.
"Mom!!! Chris just kissed me!" He ran off to his mother.
Later on, he told me he didn't actually mind the kiss. He never did stop standing up for me and helping me out. He helped me chase away inner demons.
He was the first person I told that I was gay. He didn't mind that either.
"I don't give a rat's ass what you are. We've been together for so long."
He was always there, even when guys broke my heart. He came running when I was crying, offering me his chest and shoulders for me to cry on, as he held me tenderly in a warm embrace. After spending a day with him, I was almost back on my feet. I knew nothing could go wrong when he was there. Paul was my rock, my best friend.
Every now and then, he would flirt with me, harmlessly, of course. A small tap on the ass or a touch here and there were his thing. I knew they meant nothing to him, as he didn't want to compromise his relationship with his girlfriend. But those hugs, those taps and touches... those were heaven for me.
He never really did understand that I was in love with him. If he did, it was like he didn't know. I know that it just cannot be between the two of us, and I did not want to compromise our relationship. He was the best thing that happened to me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Hell-ooooo... Chris? You still there?" He waved his hands in front of me. Apparently, I blanked out reminiscing.
"Uhm.. yeah. You were saying?" I asked, bewildered.
"I was asking you if you were gonna do anything today. My shoot got cancelled today, and I thought that maybe we could hang out the rest of the day."
"I have some presentations to go through," I said meekly.
"Come on, dude! It's not like I'm in town everyday. Please? I wanna spend some time with you. I haven't seen you for a month!"
Who am I to deny that? "Sure. I'll go get ready."
"What about my clothes?" he asked, motioning to his shorts and underwear beside him, on the barstool.
"What about them?" I giggled and ran for the bathroom. He threw his shorts at me. He hated doing laundry.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
We packed up and left my house, and loaded the gear on the car. We were gonna go hiking, well, I was going hiking and huffing and puffing. For him, it was a lovely stroll. I wasn't in bad shape. I just wasn't in his shape. Sure, I went to the gym, but I don't have a 6 pack or cut arms like he did. I was just... me.
It was a 2 hour uphill walk, and my legs were killing me. He told me it was going to be worth it once I got to where we were headed. Fantasy after fantasy went flying through my head, including one where we were kissing passionately amidst the swinging vines. This was one Tarzan I wouldn't mind discovering.
We reached a plateau. A small clearing around 3/4 of the way up. There was a waterfall, that met a small pool. The water was clear and blue. The grass here was soft, unlike the ones I passed, that cut and pricked me when I walked. He put down his pack.
"Oi, we're here. Unload your gear. I'm going for a swim." He took of his shirt, and his sweaty pecs and abs called to me. I thought he was gonna dive in like that, but he started undoing the buttons in his pants.
"What are you doing?" I inquired, my left eyebrow raised. I have never seen him naked before.
"Relax Chris, no one goes here. Are you coming?" He slowly pulled down his cargos, and was tugging on the waistband of his boxers. I just stood there, and my pack landed on the grass behind me with a soft thud. I was watching my best friend, the object of my wet dreams since I was 12, undress before me.
"Well, take your clothes off already!" He said, and I did so, while still glancing at his beautiful bod. When the boxers came off, my jaw was hanging loose from its hinge. His cock was beautiful, and it was hard. It was around 7.5 inches, which slightly curved upward. It was as tan as he was, with a trail of hair leading from his navel down to his nether regions. The hair around the cock and balls was soft and black. The shaft was smooth, and only the slightest veins could be seen. He was cut, and the head was nice. It was smooth and made a little ridge where it met the shaft. Very nice indeed.
I undressed quite quickly, and he jumped into the pool. I followed soon after. The water was cool and refreshing. It was very clear, and as we swam under the falls, where the water massaged our backs, we got to talking.
"Chris, you've been there for me all my life. I really don't know where I'd be now if it weren't for you."
"Well, you've been there for me too, Paul. I am much closer to you than anyone else. you even know more about me than I do about me."
"Yeah, but still... Thank you for that." He went closer to me and gave me a hug... I could feel his muscles relaxing themselves around me, and his cock was hardening by my thigh.
"I love you, Chris. Like a brother."
"I love you too...." But I knew that I loved him more than that. It was very painful to accept, but I did. I hoped that one day, we will be together. Not as friends, but something else. It was what made me get up everyday. It was the one thing that kept me sane.
After the bath, we took some packed sandwiches and laid a blanket out. He lay down, and I rested my head on his stomach. We were both still naked.
"Paul?"
"Yeah?"
"Where do you see the both of us in ten years?"
"Well, we'll still be there for each other. That's for sure. Why?"
"Nothing." I dozed off a bit later, only to wake up with him still under me.
"Oh good, you're awake. I fell asleep too. That pool's the best."
I rolled to my side and looked at him. "Sorry about that. You're just so soft and warm. Hahaha."
"Hey, I'm no couch. Geroffme."
So we stood up and packed up, as it was getting quite late. We went down the mountain, which was much easier than going up. When we reached the bottom, and back to where I parked my car, he tapped me on my shoulder.
"Hey Chris, Liz would pick me up from here. She called while you were asleep... I won't be in town for the next couple of weeks, so hang in there, ok? You know my number. Just call me if you need anything man."
"K..." My head hung low. I didn't know how to react to his statement. He was leaving me again, and everytime he does that, it hurts. I was missing him already.
Liz's car stopped and honked once. And he was off. I didn't know when I would see him again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A month passed by. It was almost Paul's birthday. For the past 5 years, I have been the one hosting his party. I enjoyed this part of the year very much, as I was preparing every detail. I have actually been looking around for some ideas, and came up with a few the previous week. I just needed to ask him which one he preferred. Or I could throw him a surprise party like 2 years ago. He loved that.
So I went home and started to think up a great way to surprise him while sorting my mail. What I saw next shocked me.
It was an invitation to his party. From Liz. It wasn't a surprise party.
I called in to RSVP.
"Hello?"
"Liz! Hi, It's Chris." God, my cheery voice was so fake.
"Oh. hey." Hers was so cold. She didn't like me.
"Yeah, about Paul's party. I'm calling in to confirm."
"Ok. Bye."
"Wai..."
She hung up on me? I knew she didn't like me, but she had to at least be civil.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The day of the party came by so quickly. I was carrying his gift, a nice set of mugs we both saw one day when we were just hanging out. He loved it so much, but said it was a bit too expensive. So I bought it when he wasn't looking, and hid it in my house since then. That was 2 months ago. Just as I was about to walk to my car, my phone rang. It was his house.
"Hey Paul!"
"No, it's me... Liz. Paul was in an accident."
The world stopped. I didn't understand anything else after that, except a few words here and there, like "mountain, blood," and everything was going black...
The mugs never got to him. They broke on that day.
I asked which hospital it was, and drove my way there. I didn't know what to do. Paul was the only one there for me, and I needed to be there for him. That was all I could think about. I needed to get to him.
When I got to the hospital, they wouldn't let me see him. It was family only, and Mrs. Geisler was already there, crying.
"Mama, what happened?" I asked. I started calling her mama since high school.
"Oh Chris... Paul was in an accident. He needs blood. He had already lost a lot of it when they found him at the bottom of the cliff. He had his camera with him. I think he was going to take a picture when his foot slipped off the foothold."
"What can I do to help?"
"Do you know anyone with blood type A-?"
"No... I'm a B+..." I said these words, choking, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't help the one I love.
"I'm an A-," said the woman behind us. It was Liz. I hated her more. But I hugged her so tight that evening.
"Thank you Liz. Really, thank you," I whispered.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I stayed in the hospital, looking at him through a window. Everyday I was there. And everyday, I wouldn't let him know I was there. I felt so helpless, and he was counting on me. Mama was counting on me. I would cry everytime I would see him in pain, with all those wires and tubes attached to him.
The day came when he was transferred to a room. This was after a couple of surgeries and when his condition stabilized. He took a nasty blow to the head, and they had to make sure there was no permanent damage to the brain. He was gonna be okay. They allowed friends inside now. But I couldn't bear to see him like that. I felt so guilty about not being able to do anything. Each night, Mama would call me, and tell me that Paul was looking for me. She understood how I felt, but I needed more time.
On the day before he was to be released, I was there. Inside. I was sure that he was going to be okay. He was sleeping. I held his hand and cried.
"H...hey."
"Hey Paul. How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay. You didn't come and visit... I was looking for you."
"I... I... got caught up in work... Sorry..."
"It's ok dude. Here, I got you something... Mom had it printed for me."
He handed me an envelope, and inside was a spectacular image of a sunset. The city lay beneath him as the large orange sun was turning a magnificent shade of red. The sky was on fire, with the cityscape a mix of purple and grey.
"Is this..."
"Ye...ah. That was what I was taking a picture of. I want you to have it."
"But... you fell."
"Not before I took that. The memory card was still intact. Mom figured out how to put it on a disk and have it printed."
I hugged him tenderly and cried. He ran his fingers through my hair and made me feel safe. Secure. Loved. He held me close and fell asleep.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The party was postponed until a week after he was released. I, of course, had to buy him a new gift. A camera. It was gonna get him the exact model of his old one. It was not cheap.
My phone rang. If this was another accident, I wouldn't know what to do anymore.
It was Paul.
"Hey Chris, you're late! Get your tight ass down here. Pronto. I gotta talk to you about something."
"I... I have to tell you something too."
"Yeah, get here. We'll talk later. See ya."
This was it. I was gonna tell him everything, how i loved him everyday for 5 years now, how i dream about him, about us... I was gonna apologize to him for being so helpless in the midst of his peril. I want him, need him to be with me.
The drive to his place was the longest I've ever had. Thoughts raced in my mind, about how he would take the news. I was anxious about it, my heart raced and each breath i took was heavy. I was sweating and shaking. But I needed to tell him. Not for him, but for me. I need to know whether I can continue on like that. Seeing him in the hospital has awakened me. I really loved him, more than I loved anyone else. And I did not like feeling hopeless when he was like that. He was there for me when I needed him the most. He was there to hug me and comfort me, even if he was lying in a hospital bed.
I parked my car and entered the elevator. A few more minutes and I would be there.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Hey Paul," I said, as he answered the door. I gave him a tight hug.
"Chris! So glad you made it."
"Uhm... Could we talk... alone?"
"Sure. I have to tell you something too. I'm getting married! You're the first person to know."
Ouch. With those words, he shattered everything. He loves her, yes. But that meant that he would be taken away from me. I would still be helpless if another situation like that came. My Paul would be... gone.
"Oh. Congratulations! Oh my god, I'm so happy for you..." I was holding back the tears. My voice cracked.
"Chris, are you okay? What was it you're gonna tell me."
"Oh, it wasn't important. I... I gotta go. Just wanted to drop this off. Congratulations on the wedding..." I walked away and down the stairs I went. Somewhere between the third and fourth floor, I cried. I sat down and cried. He was gone.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Dear Paul,
I'm sorry I had to leave this way. So sorry that it was so sudden. I didn't know how to handle everything I was going through. I'm sorry that mom had to give you this note.
You see Paul, I love you. You were the one who kept me going. You were there for me in my times of need, and you've been with me every step of the way. But you're getting married. Someone else is going to be with you from now on. Liz loves you. And I know you love Liz. There was simply no room for me in your life, and I couldn't handle that.
I'm so sorry it had to be this way. I love you Paul. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Happiness that I could not have given you.
Goodbye. I'll see you on the other side.
Chris"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I do not know what would have happened if I had lived. I do not know If Paul would have loved me back.
Paul and Liz got married 2 years after my death. The engagement was not supposed to be that long, but Paul insisted on mourning me. He did not want to get married so quickly. He did not have a best man.
Everyday, Paul would stop by my grave and cry. He did this until he was 80. And everyday, he would say sorry. Everyday, he would put one lily on my headstone.
Every year, on the same day that he took me there for the first time, Paul would go up the mountain and swim in the pool. And then he would cry. I do not know what he was thinking, but he often said sorry to me. Every single time.
They had a daughter, and named her Christina. She was a beautiful girl. Up to this day, she has no godfather.
Paul would cry himself to sleep sometimes, when he looked at the sunset picture he took before he fell. He never changed his camera. Newer models came, a lot better than what I have given him, but he never changed it. Years of wear and tear were obvious, but he never gave up on that camera. He never gave up on me.
The End.
Criticism is welcome... Please be gentle.
