racist?

[AggMan124]

yesterday a friend of mine called me a racist because i told them that i am not attracted to other races. i found this exteremly odd because i do not and never have thought of myself as a racist. i am a white male who is attracted only to other white males. my best friend is black and some of my other good friends are also of another race. am i just fooling myself, does being attracted only to one race make you a racist?

 

[SpankThePony]

Sorry to answer with a question but;

If you're gay, and not attracted to women, does that make you sexist?

 

[AggMan124]

good to hear, i've never thought of myself as one and just glad that i'm not alone in the "only attracted to certain races" category....thanks for the replies

 

[bma1983]

It's funny you would ask this question now. I just finished watching a movie called Something New. In it, Brian (played by Simon Baker) wants to date Kenya (played by Sanaa Lathan). Kenya, who is black, tells Brian, who is white, that it's her preference to date only black men. Simon said, ok, well, it's your preference to be racist. That comment made her shut up and think. Good movie.

Many people have different opinions on the subject. I personally think that not dating someone because of their race is a mild form of racism. No, I wouldn't say it would be on the same level as the KKK, but still. I think you have to take a really good look within yourself and ask why you don't feel other races are worthy of your attention. You may surprise yourself with what you come up with.

 

[NongreasySweatproof]

I'm a north Asian guy, and my strongest male-male attraction is to other Asian guys, but only the hot ones. There are a lot of fugly ones, just as there are a lot of fugly people of all "races." And of course, I like hot men and women of all ethnic backgrounds.

I don't think you're a racist -- we all have our own aesthetic preferences. But at the same time, I think sometimes it's best to keep such things to ourselves, unless pressed by others. When we go around talking about things like "race," it inevitably is going to make some people feel bad. And what's the point? And you should also evaluate your tastes critically. If you're not into the way black guys look, the simple answer is that "you just aren't. End of story." But you should also ask yourself how your preferences got formed. For example, the physical stereotypes for Asian guys depicted in America are definitely very negative. That might subconsciously shape some people's views of Asian guys, even a really hot one. I'm not saying you're brainwashed by the media or anything regarding black men or whatever, but none of our tastes arises in a total vacuum.

Besides, the issue of "race" is very subjective. The definition of the "races" varies across countries and over historical time periods. We're all somewhat related to each other, and there's no such thing as a pure race. Still, that doesn't seem to prevent people from making aesthetic judgments based on "race."

 

[AggMan124]

i think you've misunderstood me, i'm not saying they arent worth my time/attention i'm saying that i'm just not attracted to them physically so the most that our relationship would be is a strong friendship

 

[bma1983]

Your friends are ignorant.

For me, I'm not attracted to black guys. They do nothing for me. However, one of my best friends from high school is black and I have the utmost respect for him. One of my good friends at the gym who befriended me is a black woman... the sweetest young woman you'll ever meet.

Everyone has a certain type their attracted to and not attracted to. Me, I prefer white or hispanic guys. Asians and other races, it depends, but I know for a fact that I've never been attracted to a black guy. Does that make me racist? Nope. Heck, my friend at the gym I just mentioned... she's a black woman who used to only date white guys. Does that make her racist against her own race? Of course not... heck, she's married to a mix guy with two children!

So out of all the races in the world, you only find black people unattractive. It's funny, you say you prefer whites and Hispanics, and you also give Asians and other races a chance. But blacks are where you draw the line? Is that right?

 

[dkonfrost]

I don't think you're racist at all. You're just not physically attracted to them. I have very close friends who are not the least bit attracted to asian guys, and they're light years away from racist.

just because an ethnicity doesnt make you pop a boner, it doesnt mean you're racist.

 

[NongreasySweatproof]

Just to expand on what I was saying, I think we should all recognize that in America (as well as in other countries, but I think the problem is especially severe in America), there is a national obsession with classifying people by "race." People don't fall neatly into racial categories; everyone is at some point in the continuum that makes up human biological diversity. If you fly from London straight to Cape Town or Tokyo, obviously, the people look very different in each town. But suppose instead you took the journey on foot or by train. The little changes that you would notice along the way are imperceptible from each town to the next. What race would you call the people in Western China, or in Morocco? The categories of "white," "black," "Mongolian," etc. are way too simplistic., and I don't see how aesthetic preferences should ever line up neatly with such labels. We can be like, "I like the way this guy looks," or "I like the way that guy looks." If it just happens that a greater proportion of guys from a certain "race" appeals to you, that's not racism, but it does become problematic when you start linking people's attractiveness to nonscientific racial distinctions.

To beat a dead horse, suppose I like a certain physical trait that happens to be more common, on average, in certain ethnicities than in others. But the reason why I have this subjective taste is not because people from ethnicities in which this trait is less common are less attractive; I'm merely attracted to this trait. And physical traits don't line up neatly with racial categories.

 

[bma1983]

i think you've misunderstood me, i'm not saying they arent worth my time/attention i'm saying that i'm just not attracted to them physically so the most that our relationship would be is a strong friendship

Well, like I said in my previous post, you need to look within yourself and ask why don't you find black people (or other races) attractive.

I'm going to use black people as an example because I'm black (and beautiful )
Why don't you find black people attractive? And don't say, "Just because." Is it the big lips, the big nose, the coarse hair, the dark skin? What? Well, to let you know not all black people have big lips, or big noses, or coarse hair. Not all black people have dark skin. Unlike most other races, the black race comes in many different shades, some even look white. So why limit yourself when physically they are different. Is it the way black people act. Do you think they are a bunch of uneducated criminals? What is it?

Please know that I not saying that this is how you feel. I’m just saying you need to examine why you feel the way you feel. All of us (white, black, Asian, Hispanic, etc.) who feel that one race isn't attractive need to ask these questions. We need to come to a point where we don't look at a person’s skin color and start looking at what’s inside.

 

[NongreasySweatproof]

All of us (white, black, Asian, Hispanic, etc.) who feel that one race isn't attractive need to ask these questions. We need to come to a point where we don't look at a person’s skin color and start looking at what’s inside.

Amen to that. And we also need to question the whole idea of classifying people racially, to begin with. But old habits die hard.

I don't think I'm being PC. Everyone has a right to their own tastes. But people need to ask themselves WHY, and not take for granted that their tastes are based on some kind of objective reality.

 

[Claudio63]

Fortunately, many people are sexually turned off by chubs or hairy men or mature men or blond twinks and the PC police doesn't break our balls about it.

You have the right to your sexual preferences just as anyone else, as long as you respect all.

 

[AggMan124]

i know what you're saying and it IS different from individual to individual, but 99.9% of the guys that i am attracted to are white and i'm basing this purely on physical attraction, nothing more. there are a few black/asian/hispanic/etc guys out there that i find attractive but like i just said, it's very very very rare for me to find one. also, if i thought all black ppl were "uneducated criminals" then why is my best friend black?

i never expected this much response, so once again thanks for the feedback

 

[W10 Chubb]

It's funny you would ask this question now. I just finished watching a movie called Something New. In it, Brian (played by Simon Baker) wants to date Kenya (played by Sanaa Lathan). Kenya, who is black, tells Brian, who is white, that it's her preference to date only black men. Simon said, ok, well, it's your preference to be racist. That comment made her shut up and think. Good movie.

Many people have different opinions on the subject. I personally think that not dating someone because of their race is a mild form of racism. No, I wouldn't say it would be on the same level as the KKK, but still. I think you have to take a really good look within yourself and ask why you don't feel other races are worthy of your attention. You may surprise yourself with what you come up with.

That might be a bit harsh! I like white guys and most other races don't really do it for me. I sadly am one of these guys that do have a type. So if you are young, white, dark hair, blue eyes and a ruddy pink glow to the cheeks - then a mighty big hi to you all. If you're not white then say hi any way - you never know what could happen - after all the cable guy was black and he was a lot of fun !

 

[Claudio63]

Sorry to answer with a question but;

If you're gay, and not attracted to women, does that make you sexist?

Funny and to the point but, then again, I don't want to suffer bisexuals's holier-than-thou attitude when they find out they're the only people in the world who are not sexist.

 

[NongreasySweatproof]

I partially agree with Claudio. But notwithstanding everything I just said, and supposing for the sake of argument that we take can racial categories for granted, I also think that some things are better left unsaid. On the one hand, you could just say "well, that's how I feel. If other people don't like my aesthetic/racial preferences, then tough." But just because we each have our own biases, and just because these biases don't necessarily make us racists, doesn't necessarily make it right to bring them up casually. Especially when it comes to race--a factor that, unfortunately, shapes so much of how people perceive us and so much of our station in life--people should never throw around their opinions cavalierly.

If a person is not an ethnic minority in whatever country he lives in, "race" is probably not something that he thinks about on a daily basis, if ever at all. But if you are, one of the most frustrating things is to be constantly reminded, either overtly or indirectly, that you're different. It's not necessarily true that any particular race is any more or less biased than another. But if a person is of European descent and lives in the U.S. , it's a lot easier for him to be dismissive of sensitivity to the issue of race as being something enforced by the "PC police" or whatever. Similarly, if a certain minority group generally has a negative opinion of the majority, from an "aesthetic" standpoint, it's no big deal to the majority. Not so if you're the one who's different from most of the people around you. Not having to think about race is a privilege of ethnic majorities.

 

[NongreasySweatproof]

I'm not having a hissy fit. I'm not criticizing you or anything, either. I'm just bringing up some things that I think people should think about whenever they talk about stuff like race and racial preferences. No one is colorblind, and that's okay. I just wish people didn't see race as such a set-in-stone concept.

 

[jockboy01]

I haven't read the responses... but I think it is simple... you're not a racist just b/c you tend to be physically attracted to one race. So if that is the basis of his argument, it's absurd. It's a personal preference thing.

 

[unclaimedblessing]

Everyones perception of "attractiveness" is individual and unique.
Read some of the celeb threads and you'll see who turns some on turns others off.
If you encounter someone you like, don't dismiss them because of their race or religion. Give it a shot, life can be wonderful outside of convention.
It's sort of like broccoli. How do you know you don't like it until you try it?

 

[mperrin]

Black men don't make my dick hard. Neither do fat men and old men. I don't think this makes me a racist.