So I need everyones honest opinion...

[blackbeltninja]

It is never to late to change directions or the change ships for that matter.

You were married to a woman before coming out, right?

-d-

 

[mikeymike420]

You were married to a woman before coming out, right?

-d-

I came out way before we got married...I knew she was bi since before we started dating.

 

[MartyO]

This is interesting. I have 3 choices/opinions you could choose and why.

1. You're only 25 and Bi IMO you got married to young if you have feeling like these. I would sit down with your wife and say to her "i'm bi as you know and recently i've been chatting to a guy online. I haven't acted on it because i don't want to hurt you. This is something i want to do but don't want to be unfaithful". She loves you. If this is what will make you happy she would understand and let you

2. Meet other Bi married guys who's wives knows there bi and find out if they've done stuff with other guys and their wives known about it if so bring them over and sit them to your house and have them explain thr situation.

3. Have an open relationship. You're still young.


Hope everything works out

 

[Steamer]

You told her about your bisexuality before you were married. She still married you. But she may have figured, "well, he never acted on it and never will." Now it's time to talk to her about it, before you do anything. That's part of being married. Then you deal with the consequences of that conversation(s). Maybe you go to a marriage counselor to discuss further. This is a desire that will probably not go away. But, be above board with her. She's your wife and deserves that respect. Good luck.

I think this was an excellent response.

 

[blublud]

Mikey, this is just one scenario but it happened to me. Before I allowed my wife to answer my marriage proposal, I insisted that she understood that I liked and have had sex with men before, particularly a 6 year relationship during my teens/early twenties. I gave her my very private and detailed journal of that relationship. She shared it with her mother and both of them accepted me totally.

I was never ever unfaithful to her.

After we were married, there were a couple of times when we had a young male visitor at the house. At her urging, very easily done, she got us two guys to get naked and play with each other in front of her. Then she got me to give the other boys head to the point of orgasm while she watched. She loved it and it really turned her on to see this.

After these events, she became a tiger in bed.

No damage ever occurred from these few experiences.

Rare, I am sure. I guess I was just lucky to have such a wonderful wife.

I you decide to pursue activity with another man, make sure you know where your wife is coming from and offer to do it in her presence, if she would prefer. Otherwise, just keep it in your fantasies.

 

[blackbeltninja]

I came out way before we got married...I knew she was bi since before we started dating.

Yes, I read that. I meant MBAMike in my comment.

-d-

 

[mikeymike420]

Mikey, this is just one scenario but it happened to me. Before I allowed my wife to answer my marriage proposal, I insisted that she understood that I liked and have had sex with men before, particularly a 6 year relationship during my teens/early twenties. I gave her my very private and detailed journal of that relationship. She shared it with her mother and both of them accepted me totally.

I was never ever unfaithful to her.

After we were married, there were a couple of times when we had a young male visitor at the house. At her urging, very easily done, she got us two guys to get naked and play with each other in front of her. Then she got me to give the other boys head to the point of orgasm while she watched. She loved it and it really turned her on to see this.

After these events, she became a tiger in bed.

No damage ever occurred from these few experiences.

Rare, I am sure. I guess I was just lucky to have such a wonderful wife.

I you decide to pursue activity with another man, make sure you know where your wife is coming from and offer to do it in her presence, if she would prefer. Otherwise, just keep it in your fantasies.

Dude I must say you are one lucky guy Not sure if my wife would go for this though...she likes girl on girl but I doubt she likes guy on guy....maybe if she was fully involved

 

[syoBsUtsuJ]

Dear Mr. MikeyMike,

I am heartened to see such positive opinions over self-righteous condemnation. I applaud your marriage, openness, and honesty with one another, and I too am of the mind that adultry is adultry regardless. I identify myself as being gay, but on occasion, I do chance upon a woman that evokes an involuntary reaction down there. I never act on it, because it would be unfair to her in the long run. I've had friends and/or acquaintances that I've been madly in lust with too while dating another man, but I never acted on that either, because it would be unfair to him (my partner AND the other man).

In all ernestness, I envy you your marriage. Both of my sincere relationships ended with one or both of us leaving for another state/university. Now I just meet guys that just want to have fun without commitment, and at 30, I want so much more. Within your honest marriage, you both can watch gay porn together, lol, and not have to hide the fact. Until you quit functioning properly as a husband should, I strongly urge you to remain true to your vows.

 

[bankside]

Dude I must say you are one lucky guy Not sure if my wife would go for this though...she likes girl on girl but I doubt she likes guy on guy....maybe if she was fully involved

She likes girl on girl, and I'm sure she hopes you can see why it is erotic. You like guy on guy, and there is nothing to stop her from understanding why you find that just as hot.

 

[NakedReadyGuy]

The time to try things out was before you got married, not after. When you make a commitment, you should stick with it and not go out cheating. You need to clue her in on what you want to do, not just do it.

 

[SuckMyDisney]

Talk to her about you wanting to experiment with guys and never having the chance because of whatever reasons you didn't do it back when you was a teenager, don't make a huge deal about it like sitting her down and making it all serious and stuff just lightly mention it one time when you're in bed going to sleep or something, maybe she'll agree to a threesome, don't tell her about the guy online there's really no point it won't help anyone and there's no need to feel guilty about talking to him, just talk to her about it, don't go behind her back, having an elephant in the room forever just isn't worth it

 

[johaninsc]

Sine she is aware you have to let her know but it will not go good. You could have a on time she don't know affair but the biggest problem is if you fall in love with him and do not say it wont happen. I was married 8 years and met a guy I fell in love with she had no clue but it does not matter. If she know that you have never had sex with a guy thi will be a problem.

there appears to be another problem

...with the numbers

I was married for 4 years and have two sons and yes very slippery and loose

I think what at leats made it easy for me is I was married for 5 years and have two young teen sons. Straigth guys I know will actually come over talk about problems with there girls or how horny they are cause of a breakup etc. If the timing no one around etc other than us I just offer. I am amazed (though should not be as I have been with women) that almost all str8 guys I have done had never been rimmed and how many times I have heard dont sop do it a while ok? grin

I was married for 3 years. Before we moved into my apartment my best friend from work came over. He had no clue I was anything from str8. We were open with each other him 19 me 22 and he had told me had had not had sex with a girl.
Anyway I stopped painting as he told me he was so frustrated that he should not be a virgin. I said what I say to everyone your time comes when it comes its no big deal. He said I would not know what to even do etc. Then show me postion on top etc. I had him kneel between my thighs as I sort of talked it thru both in jeans. A real closet case I then said lets strip do it in bed he said ok. We talked about sucking tits etc etc. I said do it he started sucking mine now wer were both hardI got some lube and said use your cock between my thighs easy dont smash my balls
I had my hands on his ass he did my nipples I started kissing his neck he said this is like gay I said no cause wer are not gay. He sadi I love that we are so close I said loves then fucken kiss
He shot his load up the crack of my ass and I said your fucken turn I am horny and did the same. a year late wife away it went all the way. But he is now married 3 kids never ever talks about it at all

 

[mbamike]

Thanks for all the help guys. Well I talked to her and I can't remember if I said this above but she's bi as well. So here's how it when. I basically asked does she still think about doing things with other girls and she said yes. "How would you will about us doing something with the same sex since we both still want to." I said. Than she said she did not feel right about her doing something with another woman now that we are married. I told her as long as you don't leave me for her its find. I feel like as long as you are honest to one another than trying things is find. So as for now I'm not gonna try anything but I'm thinking if the right one comes along that my wife wants to try than maybe the subject will come back up. I can say this that talk reminded me of why I married her... I can talk to her about anything!!

Did she agree to these terms? Are you both hooking up now?

 

[mikeymike420]

Just an update for those of you who care lol …

First of all, I have to rant for a moment …

I was going through and reading some of these posts and I think that it is very rude and disrespectful to bash someone that is going through this kind of problem. Hearing stuff like “You don’t deserve a wonderful woman” and “Your ship has sail” is very hurtful and really makes me feel worst about the situation. Even though the title says "So I need everyone's honest opinion" does not give one an excuse to be rude. I posted this for advice and not to get bashed, so with that being said, if you don’t have anything nice to say find another tread to respond to. Thanks! .

Ok so anyways, for a little while things where better. Now I am not sure how things are going to turn out. I met some more bi friends and, although I have not done anything, the feelings of doing so have come back and are stronger than ever. I talked do her about this again and now I feel that things may have taken a turn for the worst. To be honest, I am not sure how much longer this is going to last but she wants to try marriage consoling. Not sure how I feel about this. Is it going to even work? Maybe we can give it a try and see but I talked to a consoler a while back and she said that really I should do what makes me happy. Now as bad as that may sound on my wife’s end, I think kind of agree. I want her to be happy but at the same time I don’t want to live the rest of my life unhappy about something that I could have done a long time ago. I still love her and would be hurt if we didn’t talk any more but these feeling are here and are not going away anytime soon…

Thanks to the ones that actually gave me advice and not bash me . Anymore advice would be great. I know there has to be someone here that is going through or has gone through the same thing. If so how did that work out?

 

[DonQuixote]

Mikey,
If you've been to a counselor before, and got the advice you mentioned, was that a marriage counselor that you both attended, or just an individual counselor with you?

I ask because they sound like they understand your needs - it can be more than desires - and may be able to help you and your wife find some common ground of exploration - that's a HUGE thing, though.

She may never be able to wrap her head around the situation, even though she knew going into the marriage that you were bi.

I hope you can find mutually satisfying common ground where your love for each other can grow even more, and the romance in your life can be rekindled. Otherwise, I am afraid of how the situation may wind up.

I wish you the best.

 

[mikeymike420]

Mikey,
If you've been to a counselor before, and got the advice you mentioned, was that a marriage counselor that you both attended, or just an individual counselor with you?

I ask because they sound like they understand your needs - it can be more than desires - and may be able to help you and your wife find some common ground of exploration - that's a HUGE thing, though.

She may never be able to wrap her head around the situation, even though she knew going into the marriage that you were bi.

I hope you can find mutually satisfying common ground where your love for each other can grow even more, and the romance in your life can be rekindled. Otherwise, I am afraid of how the situation may wind up.

I wish you the best.

The consoler that I seen for just for me and was over the phone. Its more like a consoler for people who are depressed. Not saying that I am but I thought I would give it a shot. My wife does not know that I have talked to this one yet.

Yeah I am really hoping things work out for the best. I really want to be with her but me excepting that I am bi when I was 16 and not doing anything about it yet really gets to me...

Thanks :-D

 

[troncosoxl]

cut the relationship with this guy and stick to ur wife. If u need someone else man or women, that means that something is wrong with u, try to figure out what u really want before regreat it, and if u really wanna have sex with this guy, then tell ur wife and assume the consequences.