somebody tell a joke

[Andreus]

goodness this place has gone so slow and silent i can almost hear the echoes

Pianist, Herry, DS writr, Arnell, GL, Jwest, Porter .....so many gone unusually silent

is there some sort of international gay celebration happening that i didnt get invited to?

i feel like i left to go to the bathroom and the entire party ran out of the house

I know...

we can do some jello shots

 

[MidnightPrism]

You know JWEST & Porter have their hands full with their youngin'

 

[Andreus]

You know JWEST & Porter have their hands full with their youngin'

ahh know

and DS went to italy

and herry lost his online conection

it just makes the place so quiet....

hmm

hey we need some gogo boys that would spruce the place up a bit

 

[cozmik]

It has gotten a bit quiet. Hopefully, some (or better, all) will come back soon!

 

[MidnightPrism]

okie, a joke since I'm not a gogo boy


Three friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.

First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"

The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."

 

[Nonimus]

There were these two nuns, and one of them had a cucumber.....

 

[cozmik]

I gots a joke!

Okay, so one Sunday during Sunday school at a church, the teacher asks her kids, which part of the body fo they think goes to Heaven first? She starts going around the room, and on child says the heart, and another says the mind, another the soul, and eventually she comes to one boy who responds "your feet go to Heaven first"

Surprised, the teacher asks him why he thinks the feet go to Heaven first.

The boy tells her "because last night I opened my parents bedroom door and my mom was lying on her back with her feet in the air yelling "oh God, I'm coming!""

 

[Nonimus]

A bloke walks into a bar with a Giraffe on a leash

He orders a stella, knocks it back and then goes to leave

The Barman says "Oi! You can't leave that lying there!"

The bloke say's "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

Then fuck's off

 

[Andreus]

so i was standing in line at the pearly gates.

Nominus was in line in front of me and hoodedrat was in line behind me

St Peter looked at Nominus and said," My son, you are a good person, but you have sinned. You have written bad things about your fellow men and you have touched other mens penises with your hands. I want you to go to the fountain of paradise and wash your hands before you go into heaven"

just then, Hoodedrat stormed past me and yelled..." Umm excuse me, St Peter? Can I wash my mouth out before Andreus sticks his ass in the water?"

 

[Nonimus]

so i was standing in line at the pearly gates.

Nominus was in line in front of me and hoodedrat was in line behind me

St Peter looked at Nominus and said," My son, you are a good person, but you have sinned. You have written bad things about your fellow men and you have touched other mens penises with your hands. I want you to go to the fountain of paradise and wash your hands before you go into heaven"

just then, Hoodedrat stormed past me and yelled..." Umm excuse me, St Peter? Can I wash my mouth out before Andreus sticks his ass in the water?"

 

[gsdx]

(A genuine Jaffa joke as told by Teal'c in the episode "Seth". It's extremely funny if you're a Jaffa. Not so funny if you're an insignificant Tau'ri.)

A Serpent guard, a Horus guard and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard’s eyes glow. The Horus guard’s beak glistens. The Setesh guard’s nose drips.

 

[GL]

I have one! I have one!

Mrs. Johnson decided to have her portrait painted by a famous artist. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."

The artist frowned and said "But you are not wearing any of those things," the artist said.

"I know," said Mrs. Johnson. "My health is not good and my husband is having an affair with his secretary. When I die, I'm sure he will marry her and I want the bitch to go nuts looking for the jewelry."

 

[Nonimus]

(A genuine Jaffa joke as told by Teal'c in the episode "Seth". It's extremely funny if you're a Jaffa. Not so funny if you're an insignificant Tau'ri.)

A Serpent guard, a Horus guard and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard’s eyes glow. The Horus guard’s beak glistens. The Setesh guard’s nose drips.

I got it hun! x

 

[MidnightPrism]

One day a nun was standing on the side of the road waiting for a cab. A cab stopped and picked her up. During the ride she noticed that the driver was staring at her.

When she asked him why, he said, "I want to ask you something, but I don't want to offend you."

She said, "You can't offend me. I have been a nun long enough that I have heard just about everything."

The cab driver then said, "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun give me a blow job."

She said, "Well, perhaps we can work something out under two conditions. You have to be single, and you have to be Catholic."

Immediately the cab driver said, "Oh, yes! I'm single and I'm Catholic!"

The nun said, "Okay, pull into that alley."

The cab driver pulled into the alley and the nun went to work. Shortly afterwards, the cab driver started crying.

The nun said, "My child, what's the matter?"

He said tearfully, "Sister, I have sinned. I lied, I lied...I'm married and I'm Jewish!"

The nun replied, "That's okay. My name's Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party!"

 

[gsdx]

I got it hun! x

Perhaps you could explain it to the rest of the class.

 

[GL]

Dreu? If we're doing jello shots, might I suggest we all get naked?

You can wear that delightful chastity chain if you'd like.

 

[Andreus]

Dreu? If we're doing jello shots, might I suggest we all get naked?

You can wear that delightful chastity chain if you'd like.

LOL

well I dont really drink... how about we just suck the jello shots out of my belly button?

 

[GL]

LOL

well I dont really drink... how about we just suck the jello shots out of my belly button?

I find your alternate proposal to be more than sufficient!

Let the sucking commence!

 

[Andreus]

I find your alternate proposal to be more than sufficient!

Let the sucking commence!

just make sure you get everything out of there

I hate having that crusty feeling in my bellybutton in the morning

 

[easyone]

It's too bad about the Pope getting the bird flu. I hear he got it from a Cardinal.