Sorry Guys :D

[Battlebrother]

EDIT - I originally posted something else here.. but after the first post I feel I shouldn't be sharing some info...

Anyway.. i havent posted in a while.. just wanted to say sorry if anybody cares.. i'll try to post more often...

 

[Danugh]

You will be singing "Unfaithful" like Rihanna

This post really should be in the relationships forum.

In any event you go away for so long and instead of bringing us back some presents the first thing you do is as for advice lol.

Its clear to me that your boyfriend has another man and doesnt know how to break up with you.

Your boyfriend is hoping that you will break up with him first and that is why he is not showing you any emotion.

Grow a pair and end the realtionship while you still have dignity.

 

[GL]

Where have you been?

It's good to see you on the boards again.

 

[Battlebrother]

Oh, and by the way... I think you're a very bitter individual... Don't try to rain on my parade just because you're feeling shitty about your own love life.

 

[Jadin32]

Hey guys... I'm not sure if any of you actually remember me, but I used to post here quite a bit.. anywho, I started seeing this guy (we're still together) and I haven't really been on JUB much since. I dunno why.. I guess I was focused on other things at the time.

So, I'd like to say sorry to everyone for not posting in such a long time. You're all probably thinking "who is this guy anyway?"... lol.. and that's ok.

Anyway, my babe and I went through 4 months of long distance, and now we're back in the same city. Things are good for the most part, but some of the issues that I thought would go after after the distance was gone, aren't leaving afterall.

My bf has a hard time showing emotions/affection, and just being overall attentive. I've brought it up a few times with him, but it never goes well. It just brings up drama, and I end up looking like a needy bastard.

I know he probably won't ever change... but it's really starting to bug me. I love him so much, but I feel this distance between us that's not really going away because he never tells me what's on his mind, and he won't let me get too close. We've both said "I love you".. but it's gotten to the point where it's more like procedure to say it.

I don't really know what to do. I'm afraid if it doesn't change, my feelings for him might start to die off.

Anyone have some advice for me? Maybe I should just chillout and go with the flow?

First off...HI

This is a tough one!
If you sincerely believe he won't ever change in regards to showing you the affection you desire then I really don't see this being a "healthy" relationship.
You'll just continue to resent him and he will feel like he can't give you what you deserve.
As far as "going with the flow" well 4 months isn't really a long time but on the other hand the longer you are together the harder it is going to be to break ties.
Other than him not being affectionate do you guys have fun together and enjoy/respect each other's company?
Personally I don't think relatonships should require a lot of hard work. Granted every partnership will involve both sides to put in an effort but if it's all just too consuming and draining is it really healthy?
That said....my husband and I have been together 11 years. He wasn't as affectionate as I would have liked but we are SO good together in so many other aspects!
Sounds like you need to sit him down and have a TRUE heart to heart before this relationship can move forward.

GOOD LUCK!!!

 

[Battlebrother]

Hey GL.. i've been busy with work all summer, and meeting up with my boy on the weekends. Now he's back in the same city.

I originally posted about trying to get my bf to open up a bit more, but with Newboy's post I figured I'd remove it..i don't need people like that.

Anyway, what a way to be welcomed back eh?..I guess I am an ass for not posting for so long.

Well, sorry again. Hope you've had a good summer! Did i miss any big drama on JUB?

 

[Jadin32]

Re: You will be singing "Unfaithful" like Rihanna

This post really should be in the relationships forum.

In any event you go away for so long and instead of bringing us back some presents the first thing you do is as for advice lol.

Its clear to me that your boyfriend has another man and doesnt know how to break up with you.

Your boyfriend is hoping that you will break up with him first and that is why he is not showing you any emotion.

Grow a pair and end the realtionship while you still have dignity.

Dude! Why so cold??????? WOW
Don't let this turn you away from JUB Battle!

 

[Battlebrother]

Hmm.. well, I know he's been trying to improve...... I think it's because he comes from a cold family.. but I'll see how it goes.. If it's not changing.. then maybe i'll have to rethink things... I really wish we can have what u guys have someday.

 

[Danugh]

Oh, and by the way... I think you're a very bitter individual... Don't try to rain on my parade just because you're feeling shitty about your own love life.

Truth hurts.

DONT ASK FOR ADVICE IF YOU CANT HANDLE THE REALITY.

People get upset when they dont hear what they want to hear lol.

Keep living in your fantasy land if it will you feel better about yourself

Its not my fault you cant keep a man interested enough to show you emotions/affection

LOL

 

[Jadin32]

Hmm.. well, I know he's been trying to improve...... I think it's because he comes from a cold family.. but I'll see how it goes.. If it's not changing.. then maybe i'll have to rethink things... I really wish we can have what u guys have someday.

Okay.....the cold family who doesn't show affection. Makes me understand things more clearly. If he is making an effort then it sounds like there may be something there!
The guy was "conditioned" growing up in a emotionless family. It may take time BUT If you are willing to give him that...GREAT!
....only you know what's in your heart!

 

[Battlebrother]

Truth hurts.

DONT ASK FOR ADVICE IF YOU CANT HANDLE THE REALITY.

People get upset when they dont hear what they want to hear lol.

Keep living in your fantasy land if it will you feel better about yourself

Its not my fault you cant keep a man interested enough to show you emotions/affection

LOL

Ok guy..I don't wanna get into it right now. Go find somebody else to bug, would ya?

If things aren't meant to work out, then they won't.. but I don't appreciate your B.S. So bugger off would ya?

 

[GL]

Truth hurts.

DONT ASK FOR ADVICE IF YOU CANT HANDLE THE REALITY.

People get upset when they dont hear what they want to hear lol.

Keep living in your fantasy land if it will you feel better about yourself

Its not my fault you cant keep a man interested enough to show you emotions/affection

LOL

I remember you!

http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108931

As I recall, you got a lot of darn good advice in that thread and none of it was as mean spirited as what you've posted here. I think you may want to learn how to handle receiving advice yourself before you start pounding on someone else.

Now Scoot! BB has already asked you to let it lie.

 

[Danugh]

Ok guy..I don't wanna get into it right now. Go find somebody else to bug, would ya?

If things aren't meant to work out, then they won't.. but I don't appreciate your B.S. So bugger off would ya?

your "boyfriend" is subtly tell you to "bugger off" but you arent getting the message lol.

 

[Battlebrother]

Okay.....the cold family who doesn't show affection. Makes me understand things more clearly. If he is making an effort then it sounds like there may be something there!
The guy was "conditioned" growing up in a emotionless family. It may take time BUT If you are willing to give him that...GREAT!
....only you know what's in your heart!

Well... I'm in all fact, I'm just a big drama queen..

We have a great time together.. we laugh... things are still exciting.... and I mean, our love life is great.. I guess I just want the little things.. u know.. like when he'll give me a hug for no reason.. or he'll grab my hand or stroke my back... u know.. the little gestures.

I'm probably just overanalyzing things. Which i tend to do.. quite often.

 

[marcde]

your "boyfriend" is subtly tell you to "bugger off" but you arent getting the emssage lol.

That was post #666 for you newboy - now go back to hell!

 

[Danugh]

I remember you!

http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108931

As I recall, you got a lot of darn good advice in that thread and none of it was as mean spirited as what you've posted here. I think you may want to learn how to handle receiving advice yourself before you start pounding on someone else.

Now Scoot! BB has already asked you to let it lie.

Of course u remember me im unforgettable

I tell it like it is and dont sugar coat anything. A situation was presented to me and i responded in kind.

 

[Battlebrother]

I remember you!

http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108931

As I recall, you got a lot of darn good advice in that thread and none of it was as mean spirited as what you've posted here. I think you may want to learn how to handle receiving advice yourself before you start pounding on someone else.

Now Scoot! BB has already asked you to let it lie.

lol... That's just precious...

 

[Danugh]

That was post #666 for you newboy - now go back to hell!

Iggy

bye

 

[Battlebrother]

Woo hoo... the drama already.. we gay folk have really have a talent for it eh?... I've only been back for what?... not even an hour..lol.. ahhh.. good times.

 

[cynicus]

Hmm.. well, I know he's been trying to improve...... I think it's because he comes from a cold family.. but I'll see how it goes.. If it's not changing.. then maybe i'll have to rethink things... I really wish we can have what u guys have someday.

Years of therapy and mucho $$ (my insurer's money, fortunately) later, this I have learned. You can't change him, he won't "improve" and if there is any changing, you are the one who will have to do it. When you love someone, you accept them as is. You know the old line: "I love you, marry me, now change!" Change is indeed possible, but the change will have to come from you. And eventually it is worth it if you really want to be with someone. You can still be as affectionate and demonstrative as you want, but if it makes him uneasy (and God knows where these things come from), then make him feel good and stop already. If being with someone is truly special, then what the hell difference do a few hugs and kisses amount to? I do not mean to insult or hurt you, but perhaps you should think about what makes you need reassurances of this kind from a person who may not be able to give you the reassurance in exactly the way you want it. And here I am not being flippant: if it reaches the point where you and he are miserable, then go to a councillor where you are encouraged to talk things out with a referee to keep the discussion (and fight) fair and on track.

Good dose of country music might help too! Those people are always asking why no one brings them roses anymore--even when they were never promised a rose garden. I am getting silly now, so I close with every good wish.