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Str8 Curios Gay Guy--Finally Tried Pussy

gaydude65-- I find it interesting that even in just the short time since you started this thread, your sexual attraction to women has significantly grown. You've gone from just being interested in pussy to now wanting ass and tits, and you're emphasizing your desire for females and female body parts by using ALL CAPS, but you aren't doing the same whenever you talk about guys. It's pretty clear to me that you get WAY hotter over females now than males.

I think deep down you probably really want to be exclusively with a woman right now to see where it will go. And I have a feeling you're gonna be way more comfortable with it than you realize.

I can't help but wonder how your friends who know you as this "militant gay guy" will react when the inevitable comes to light one day.
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These are very astute points. We're witness to a coming out by H4L as being from a self-identified gay male (albeit falsely) to a fully realized bisexual male. His doing this process here in JUB is perfect, and thankfully a place like this exists for it. It is an evolutionary process for him. Just as for many gay men, the realization of years of agonizing over whether to come out and how to do so is highly emotional, sometimes fraught with risk and self-inflicted wounds, and above all life-changing. The first time that a gay man has his first gay experience (alone with another man) it can be such a glorious release--like, now I know, now I understand, now I feel complete. H4L is now going through this process as a bisexual man and it's quite fascinating to witness his growth here on JUB. In essence he is experiencing many of the reactions here in JUB that he may actually encounter, if and when he comes out, to those in his "real" everyday life. And depending on the extent to which he has been "militantly gay" in his life will inform the kind of reaction he receives from his friends, family, etcetera.

H4L is no dummy. He's aware that there may be unfortunate repercussions to his new coming out, although it's also very possible that it won't end up mattering much at all--maybe he doesn't realize they already suspect this about him. I hope for the latter.

Not everyone who finds out about this kind of thing will be so blatant to express disdain up front.
It's sad and I wish it wasn't so, but individuals often simply drift away with no real explanations given--this to me is far more cruel than having to deal with expressions of anger or disdain.
 
Hot4Latinos-- yep and its always the skinny who have the big dicks
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Stop it! You're making me horny. I'm trying to be serious right now. ;-)
 
Kyanimal-- There is NOTHING set in stone!
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Sorry Kyanimal. Kinsey 6s and 0s do exist. It's inconvenient I know and I respect that you can never know what that existence is like and are likely even glad that you don't. I have to say I am very glad and thankful I have known nothing else.

Although it can't be that problematic for you since I recall on another thread you lamenting that your partner has never had a sexual experience with a female. Yet I suspect you still love him very much.

Another wonderful benefit to being a Kinsey 6 or 0 is that we get to be a happy thorn in-the-side to many bisexual purists/supremacists. :-)
 
Hot4Latinos-- couple of interesting Youtube clips-- more the typical experience I think and the typical attitude
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See, I was right. You are no dummy. You better not be if you have a Masters for goodness sake.

I think "Davey Wavey's" video made some really good points. In your case though it sort of turns these ideas on their head--because the reverse is happening: gay to bisexual. Some really good research fodder too.
 
colo92 said:
This statement is highly insulting and sadly misinformed.

You come from a perspective of heterosexual privilege. Expressing your interests in same-sex sexuality here on JUB doesn't negate this reality. H4L himself made it clear that he has ingratiated himself deeply into gay community and/or politics (i.e. militantly gay). If gay men and lesbians shared equally in all of society's laws, legal incidents, and privileges this entire thread wouldn't ever have been necessary. There are so many complexities involved in gay male bonding, kinship, friendship, romance, etcetera and it's not always consistent or present. Nevertheless, even H4L's "real" friends may have trouble accepting something that they don't have access to (i.e. heterosexual privilege) and/or that they don't even relate to--I mean after all this is a man who has proudly identified himself as gay and now proclaims to want women too. And I can assure you, some of these "real" friends who may have shared some special or intimate moments with H4L over the years that bonded them together with H4L as gay men will only hear the word "women" and not the word "too". Their reactions will be imminently reasonable. It will be up to H4L to accommodate them and their reactions, not the other way around. Just as when a gay man comes out to his parents, he may have to give them time to come to terms with it, and he may have to accept that his parents may never do so. That doesn't mean they were never his parents. And it also doesn't mean that if H4L's "real" friends never come to terms with his fully realized bisexuality they were never his real friends. It means both their realities have changed. And one can only hope that one day, when we no longer have discriminatory barriers, that we will no longer need to coexist in different realities.
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Whatever man. I may not be a gay male but I can still understand that in this instance those angry friends are just like angry parents. All those hurt feelings are selfish feelings and they are going to have to deal with that themselves. Its not his problem. Ill say it again, his real friends will respect him. And perhaps I do speak from heterosexual privilege but I ALSO define myself as queer. I don't pretend to know what its like to be a gay man. I stated that. So dont pretend to know what its like to be me.
 
MissAnne-- Whatever man. I may not be a gay male but I can still understand that in this instance those angry friends are just like angry parents. All those hurt feelings are selfish feelings and they are going to have to deal with that themselves. Its not his problem. Ill say it again, his real friends will respect him. And perhaps I do speak from heterosexual privilege but I do define myself as queer. I don't pretend to know what its like to be a gay man. I stated that. So dont pretend to know what its like to be me.
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Although you really don't know and cannot know of what you're speaking to, we can at least agree on one thing: you do speak from heterosexual privilege.

Don't worry I wouldn't want to know in a million years what it is like to be you, let alone to pretend so.
 
LOL. Buena Suerte H4L. Don't let this thread scare you away from being honest with the people that you care about.
 
^^I guess I missed your point. What would that be exactly?
 
^^Just that in this thread, in spite of the fact that I have lived and still live my life as a gay man there's the undertone of "You're not really one of us. You don't belong (see the Ani Difranco song). Get your own club."
 
Tho' I have to say I find it irritating (to say the least) that no one on JUB has a problem with a str8 gay who wants to suck dick....in fact, for most of you sucking a str8 guy (oooh a "real man") is apparently your wet dream, but a gay guy curios about pussy and you all lose your damn minds and GO OFF
 
Hot4Latinos-- ^^Just that in this thread, in spite of the fact that I have lived and still live my life as a gay man there's the undertone of "You're not really one of us. You don't belong (see the Ani Difranco song). Get your own club."
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H4L -- please accept my sincere apologies if I've given you that impression. It was never my intent. Odd to say, but just as you are going through this evolution to learn something very personal about yourself, I am also learning about myself and how I might react to someone if they we're going through this. Actually I did but not at all in the same way you are. I would never consider you not part of "us".
 
Hot4Latinos-- Tho' I have to say I find it irritating (to say the least) that no one on JUB has a problem with a str8 gay who wants to suck dick....in fact, for most of you sucking a str8 guy (oooh a "real man") is apparently your wet dream, but a gay guy curios about pussy and you all lose your damn minds and GO OFF
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Actually let me add my voice to yours on the hypocrisy you're addressing and I have seen you write about this before.

What's odd to me is that somehow the act of oral sex on a str8 guy somehow means he's still str8. I'll be consistent on this one.
No, the guy is definitely not Str8. I would class him as bi with a 99.9% or very strong or primary interest in women (i.e. Kinsey 1).

It's one thing for a gay male to fantasize sucking or getting fucked by a straight guy, however those that actually make the fantasy a "reality" are, in my opinion, taking part in a predatory act of self-hatred. I guarantee I can find social science literature to back me up on this one. They're also fooling themselves if they think these guys are really straight--they're likely not gay, but they ain't straight either. So there's at least one voice here on JUB who fully agrees with you on this point.

Have a nice Memorial Day H4L!
 
"But then again is this answer forever?
Or is it just
one simple question
in the quest from my youth?
Jesus died for somebody's sins
but not mine....
My sins belong to me."
-Patti Smith, "Gloria"
 
Colo: It may have been unintentional and maybe I'm overracting because my allegiance has been and is so strong but many times reading this thread I have been made to feel like I am abandoning my brothers. The men who have kept me strong all these years and that was never my intention.

I stand beside you.
As one of you.
Always.
 
But the reality is, H4L, that you actually aren't "one of us"
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This breaks my heart. My years of teaching, my years of volunteer work, all the things I've written all these years, my novel, and not the leastr of which that I've loved and I've lost and survived, apparently mean NOTHING.

Thanx for enlightening me Gaydude65
 
Hi Hot4Latinos, I hope you had a nice holiday.

This post will be my last as well (I'm sure many will be thrilled).

I believe you've got a fairly good grasp of what you may or may not face when you finally begin to share the truth about your newly realized bisexuality with those in your real everyday life. In this thread you've encountered a variety of voices that I think are also fairly representative of the kinds of reactions you may or may not experience. Hopefully this will help you prepare to some extent for how to respond to these various reactions. Writing thoughts on a Web site is very different from actually talking to someone face to face as I'm sure you know.

You've stated that you're still living your life as a gay man. I don't know how you originally came out years ago but for most gay men the closet can be a lonely place and a painful one too. You're now hiding something significant about yourself which is in essence creating a closet for that part of you. Perhaps you'll not even have to address this head on because you'll assuage your fantasies, desires, and primal need for eating and/or fucking pussy (and please, I'm begging you--stop with the curiosity bit, you've moved well beyond curiosity, I mean you've stated that you have a Masters in English so you must know the difference, and it's not fooling anyone who is capable of understanding the difference).
Perhaps you'll meet a nice Latino power bottom whom diverts your attention to him, although you have also stated that you're not interested in a relationship. So it appears the odds are, you will at some point deal with the ever growing poundings of a "tell-tale heart", so to speak. As you become even more comfortable with having sex with women and you're absolute love for their vaginas, you may start finding it difficult to sit quietly and listen to gay men in your circles or just in your presence who will say derogatory things or joke about female genitalia or women in general--not out of misogyny but because they're blowing off steam (and for those who think only men do this kind of thing, think again--I've been around lesbians who say some pretty vulgar things about the male body; I even have an aunt, who in the presence of her husband, proceeded to expound on how disgusting she thinks the male penis is). Over time you may find yourself increasingly anxious because you may feel a need to censor yourself about your sexual desires for pussy, when you're out with a group of gay friends. And what about family? Perhaps your family is very modern and the whole issue will be hooey. Some men who have gone through what you are have found family to be terribly difficult because when they find out they sometimes come to the conclusion that "see, all you needed was to finally have sex with a woman." Male lovers become suspect and female ones become overly exaggerated. It can all get so messy.
On the other hand you alluded to a group of men who have kept you strong all these years. I can only assume that this means you have a group of men who are strongly connected with you. Perhaps these men will mollify any trepidation in you of sharing this aspect of who you really are. I hope so.

Now to appeal to your "militantly gay" side:

Finally, and I can only speak for myself, my interest in engaging you in this thread you created was not just to share my ideas, concerns, and/or thoughts but to learn about myself too. I'm not ashamed to say that it was a selfish act on my part to join in this conversation--I was being selfish for my fellow gay men and lesbians who are still fighting for their rightful "place at the table." My words were never meant as an attack on you--but instead as a defense of my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. We don't live in that perfect world that some myopic individuals have created for themselves in their own heads. You can be used by those who would like to see gays and lesbians marginalized once again. That's why I hope that as you do reveal your true desire and love for pussy, that you're careful to whom you share it with and how you do it.

I nor gaydude65 or anyone else has the power to exclude you from the gay community nor would we want to. You can only do that to yourself.

As you so succinctly stated, "I stand beside you. As one of you. Always." And this gay man feels the same towards you.

You never stated when you started this thread that all you wanted was affirmation--if you did, you should have made that very clear. After all this is a forum of threads, intended for dialogue, and hopefully to learn from and enjoy one another.

I wish you all the best H4L and I hope you become an out and proud bisexual man. We need more of them.
 
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