On Topic Discussion Taralen's 2018 Random Musings About Life...

[luckynumbah7]

Re: Should LGBT/queer teachers be open to their students?

Why would he have to be gay to protect you from bullies? Would a straight teacher be dumbfounded and just not know what to do? You're kind of romanticizing (borderline non-sexually) the student-teacher relationship. They are your educators not your friends or counselors. Honestly this sounds like you're just digging for a problem on shallow turf. There are gay-straight alliances, counselors, not the most but not the least amount of resources for someone struggling with their sexuality in high-school.

I'm still scratching my head [STRIKE]and wondering if maybe THIS will be the topic where you realize "Maybe sometimes it's me that's wrong and not everybody else"[/STRIKE] because I don't even understand why or how this could be implemented. Hi class, I'm Mr Schwarz and I'm gay so if you have any gay problems, see me after class. Nothing about this seems remotely practical and, all due repect, I think your mental impairment is preventing you from seeing that. What's to stop this from turning into a way for gay teachers to prey on students? Once that happens the backlash will set our progress back 50 years, it'll be used as proof that we cannot be integrated into society and trusted around children. I cannot imagine that our circumstances are so desperate as to take such a huge risk with seemingly so little reward.

I'm well aware that lgbt youth are suffering, a micro-portion of the population yet account for a third of youth suicides. For the sake of everything that lives you HAVE to come up with a better solution than this. It won't work. Ever. It's not a good idea, albeit your heart is in the right place. I say gay-straight alliances, an updated sex ed curriculum and counselors should be sufficient. Final answer.

I figured he's been thinking of someone in particular. But just in case I'm right, I want to be clear that I don't want details of past suspected woes.

 

[G-Lexington]

Re: Why is the gay community so promiscious and sex crazed?

My theory is that straights are, for a variety of reasons, more anti-sex. The gay folks I've gotten to know are, in general, "sex-positive". In other words, they're cool with sex outside of relationships, having multiple partners (at a time or as "serial monogamy"), triads, kinks, and what not. And when I say they're "cool" with it, I mean just that. They don't demand it or expect it. If somebody says "I'm in a monogamous relationship" or "I don't like sleeping around", they're totally cool with that, as well. They're also more apt to talk about it, which may seem why they're obsessed with it. I know a few straight folks in open relationships, and they're very secretive about it.

Lex

 

[luckynumbah7]

Re: Why is the gay community so promiscious and sex crazed?

My theory is that straights are, for a variety of reasons, more anti-sex. The gay folks I've gotten to know are, in general, "sex-positive". In other words, they're cool with sex outside of relationships, having multiple partners (at a time or as "serial monogamy"), triads, kinks, and what not. And when I say they're "cool" with it, I mean just that. They don't demand it or expect it. If somebody says "I'm in a monogamous relationship" or "I don't like sleeping around", they're totally cool with that, as well. They're also more apt to talk about it, which may seem why they're obsessed with it. I know a few straight folks in open relationships, and they're very secretive about it.

Lex

I'd agree they're more anti-sex on average, but I don't think that necessarily translates to less sexual action.

 

[Telstra]

Re: Should queer people be open at their workplace?

Fucking Christ, I was hoping for some real Telly craziness when I saw you had posted in this thread. What the fuck is this shit? Nonsensical but not entertaining.

So you are stalking and hoping ... i get it lol

 

[Taralen]

Re: Why are straight people not interested in your personal life being gay?

Not at all what I said and if you genuinely feel that way and aren't crying for attention you need counseling asap.

You said I wasn't ready for a boyfriend, and if I have to live alone, I might as well die.

 

[G-Lexington]

Re: Is having a racial/body/personality preference preference okay?

I can only speak for myself.

If I put together the guys I've been interested in into various categories, I see some patterns emerge. But that's all they are - "patterns". For instance, I'm more apt to be attracted to older guys (over 35) now than younger guys (under 35). I'm more apt to be attracted to hairier guys, and rounder guys. But those are patterns, not hard-and-fast rules. I wouldn't ever go on a dating/hook-up app and say "I'm only interested in older/hairier/rounder guys". Not because I think it's mean, and that younger/smoother/skinnier guys would feel bad. But because it unnecessarily limits my options. Because what it comes down to is "Am I attracted to THIS guy? Do I find THIS guy interesting?" And yeah, the older guy has a better shot than the younger guy. But that doesn't mean I won't give the younger guy a look-see and see if I have any interest.

Lex

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Re: Is gay for pay porn damaging to the gay/queer male community?

These posts are long winded when I doubt they really need to be.

I've talked to him about that here and on another forum. As a recovering word addict I try to explain to him that grammatical efficiency is an art form, learning to condense 6 paragraphs into 4 sentences can only improve your communication and increase your audience. But I'm not sure if he even wants an audience or is just talking "to himself" (working it out in his head but digitally)

 

[Taralen]

Re: Is there racism/discrimination in the gay male community?

Education, outreach, socio-political activism.

I do agree, more activism and knowledge has to be done. That's the issue. The gay male community has this "I don't care" attitude about it.

 

[G-Lexington]

Re: Why are straight people not interested in your personal life being gay?

I don't go into detail on my sex life with my straight friends OR my gay friends. Sometimes the topic goes there, and we speak in some basic generalities, but I can't recall ever telling anybody I haven't slept with about my various sexual piccadillos.

Lex

 

[G-Lexington]

Re: Should queer people be open at their workplace?

I've been out at every job since the early 1990s. That included an auto parts warehouse. Nobody seemed to have any issue with it.

Lex

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Re: Why is the gay community so promiscious and sex crazed?

It's not the same at all.

Tinder is also not the same as Grindr. Tinder is a relationship app, Grindr, (at least based on the advertisements and reputation it has) is a random sex app.

But going back to female escorts and call girls.

A straight man doesn't look at it the same way in the gay culture.

A man calls that girl to take her out to eat and drink and so he can have female companionship.

If they happen to have sex or whatever, so be it, but it's not the same. He usually calls her to keep him company, and mild sex might play in the factor.

With gay men, it's strictly wild hot random anonymous sex, and it's basically prostitution and calling a guy to have sex with.

For example, gay male escorts are not there to be your friend, boyfriend, buddy. He doesn't have time for that.

You call him for dick, and once you get your dick, he's gone.

I know sex is okay, but to me sex should mean something.

I don't want to have sex with Joe Schmoe off Grindr, and after we have sex, I never see him again.

I want to have sex with the man that I love, and he loves me.

There's a lot of the gay world you've missed in Smalltown, USA. If I had to guess I'd bet you were from Kentucky or Mississippi. Gay relationships are dynamic and varied and *not all based on sex (not that there's anything wrong with that outside of sexual health issues). I've seen gay people invite complete strangers into their home because they were homeless and hungry. I know gay people who spend all their free time helping others, donating to clothing drives, serving in soup kitchens, I dunno what tv show or televangelist convinced you that all we do is fuck but you're unequivocally wrong. Many gay people, and hell even some straight people, survived crisis only because they had a support system of one or more gay people looking out for them. As far as sex and relationships, when I used to write for an e-magazine I interviewed a black gay couple, both college professors, who have been together since the 70s. Just because you don't see gay coupled twirling and carthwheeling up and down the boulevard doesn't mean they don't exist. Part of what makes any relationship work is some level of discretion so you're not going to see a gay couple who's been together for ten years at a club or at Miami Sizzle, some even avoid Pride because it turns into a thirst smutfest.

I'm going to spare you the effort of typing because I already know your response. You haven't seen it, you haven't experienced it. I know. I know I know I know. I'm trying to drill into your head that your experiences aren't the only valid ones.

*I do find it [STRIKE]interesting[/STRIKE] predictable that someone who's entire life is a storm cloud because of judgment would be so... judgmental.

 

[G-Lexington]

Re: Why is the gay community so promiscious and sex crazed?

Didn't mean to imply that they weren't "getting it on" less often. Just that they're less likely to be up front about it, and more likely to express disgust or disinterest.

Lex

 

[luckynumbah7]

Re: Why is the gay community so promiscious and sex crazed?

Didn't mean to imply that they weren't "getting it on" less often. Just that they're less likely to be up front about it, and more likely to express disgust or disinterest.

Lex

Oooooh, yeah, they lie like rugs. Badly woven rugs, rugs with uneven fibers and a warped weave. A carpet by any other admission. And they've got an awful lotta questions, whenever I visit 'outsiders' I feel like a mobile library of sexual information. Apparently when you don't care you give off a type of ....vibe, or something.

 

[72-Jay]

Re: Why is the gay community not accepting of alternative lifestyles/personalities?

Crushing on straight guys, not able to get what I want.

That one isn't a black thing or a white thing...or a fem thing or butch thing... its simply something that happens.

 

[Taralen]

Re: Is having a racial/body/personality preference preference okay?

There isn't a singular answer to this. There are incidental attractions and desires that may cause someone to prefer one group over another (example if you like gingers you're not gonna find a whole lot of non-white guys you're attracted to). However, the part people like to gloss over is just how much culture can influence our desires. A lot of people who say they don't like X group really mean that they don't like stereotypes associated with X group (I don't like black guys cuz they're all this, I don't like white guys cuz they're all.....)

People like to pretend that their preferences are entirely self-constructed but that's just not how human beings work, never have. Another example, say a guy who doesn't like black men is highly attracted to Zac Efron. If a black person had the same exact build, facial structure et cetera as Zac would what was once his ideal guy suddenly become unattractive because his skin is darker? Doesn't make a lick of sense to me.

Yeah...

To me I don't find most black men attractive, and that's based on physical attractiveness.

Even though I find Cedric The Entertainer attractive, he's not my preferred type of guy. I'm just saying out of typical black men, he would be one that I would be "Okay, I'm not attracted to black men, but I do see some attractive qualities in him."

To me, I'm just more attracted to other types of men.

I find Ebro from Hot 97 attractive, as he doesn't have the typical black male look. He's clearly mixed and obviously mixed, some people say he looks Arabian. Bah. Okay. But he is also black. So yeah I like that.

I happen to be attracted to bears and goofy and unconventional and nerdy and bigger guys like that. Most of those guys happen to be white. So.

That Zac Efron example I don't want to say is bad, but it's interesting.

I don't find Zac Efron attractive, like I don't find whats his name, the guy from Get Out who's about the same age as Zac Efron. Daniel Kaluuya. Yeah I don't find him attractive either.

I don't find Zac Efron attractive, because I'm not into pretty white boys. I'm just not. But I find Rob Kardashian who's more full figured and has that bear figure, as he's the same age as him attractive.

I don't find Daniel Kaluuya attractive, because I'm not attracted to black men like that. I do find Blake Griffin, who's around the same age as him attractive though. As I am attracted to more unconventional black men, and men in general.

So if that makes any sense to you, yeah.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Re: Is there racism/discrimination in the gay male community?

I do agree, more activism and knowledge has to be done. That's the issue. The gay male community has this "I don't care" attitude about it.

You know a good way to destroy your cause? Be combative. Don't listen to others. Bombard them [STRIKE]daily[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]hourly[/STRIKE] minutely until they block you or dig their heels further into their own position.

 

[G-Lexington]

Re: Why is the gay community so promiscious and sex crazed?

Oooooh, yeah, they lie like rugs. Badly woven rugs, rugs with uneven fibers and a warped weave. A carpet by any other admission. And they've got an awful lotta questions, whenever I visit 'outsiders' I feel like a mobile library of sexual information. Apparently when you don't care you give off a type of ....vibe, or something.

Well, to many people with sheltered upbringings, we are that-which-was-spoken-of-in-hushed-tones made flesh. We're the Yeti, the Bigfoot, the Skunk Ape, a close encounter of the third kind. I'm not surprised when they're a bit gobsmacked by it. We're of course used to it, so it's no big deal here.

A Jewish friend told me a story about working in the hinterlands with some "sheltered folks". Afterwards, one of them told her she was very nice, and then, haltingly, asked her where her horns were.

Lex

 

[Taralen]

Re: Is having a racial/body/personality preference preference okay?

I can only speak for myself.

If I put together the guys I've been interested in into various categories, I see some patterns emerge. But that's all they are - "patterns". For instance, I'm more apt to be attracted to older guys (over 35) now than younger guys (under 35). I'm more apt to be attracted to hairier guys, and rounder guys. But those are patterns, not hard-and-fast rules. I wouldn't ever go on a dating/hook-up app and say "I'm only interested in older/hairier/rounder guys". Not because I think it's mean, and that younger/smoother/skinnier guys would feel bad. But because it unnecessarily limits my options. Because what it comes down to is "Am I attracted to THIS guy? Do I find THIS guy interesting?" And yeah, the older guy has a better shot than the younger guy. But that doesn't mean I won't give the younger guy a look-see and see if I have any interest.

Lex

I noticed patterns as well. That's all attraction and preference is, are patterns.

I'm just not attracted to most black men, and I feel I wouldn't be happy if I didn't have someone who followed my patterns of attraction. I'm sorry.

I wouldn't say I'm completely turned off by people, but there are people whom I wouldn't say are unattractive to me, but I would prefer something else.

Like I prefer butter pecan over rum raisin. Which I do.

I don't see myself happy with a man I'm not attracted to. I have my patterns and what I'm looking for, and that's what I want.

I don't see myself changing, and being happy with anything else really.

 

[luckynumbah7]

Re: Should queer people be open at their workplace?

I've been out at every job since the early 1990s. That included an auto parts warehouse. Nobody seemed to have any issue with it.

Lex

I tend to be considered out automatically, if only because I refuse to give up half my wardrobe. That said, I generally don't discuss my own sex life in casual conversation outside of specific groups or areas because of common courtesy; I give as much of a care about their life as they do about mine and really, no one wants to hear it. The exception to that is using past history in an example.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Re: Is having a racial/body/personality preference preference okay?

Yeah...

To me I don't find most black men attractive, and that's based on physical attractiveness.

Even though I find Cedric The Entertainer attractive, he's not my preferred type of guy. I'm just saying out of typical black men, he would be one that I would be "Okay, I'm not attracted to black men, but I do see some attractive qualities in him."

To me, I'm just more attracted to other types of men.

I find Ebro from Hot 97 attractive, as he doesn't have the typical black male look. He's clearly mixed and obviously mixed, some people say he looks Arabian. Bah. Okay. But he is also black. So yeah I like that.

I happen to be attracted to bears and goofy and unconventional and nerdy and bigger guys like that. Most of those guys happen to be white. So.

That Zac Efron example I don't want to say is bad, but it's interesting.

I don't find Zac Efron attractive, like I don't find whats his name, the guy from Get Out who's about the same age as Zac Efron. Daniel Kaluuya. Yeah I don't find him attractive either.

I don't find Zac Efron attractive, because I'm not into pretty white boys. I'm just not. But I find Rob Kardashian who's more full figred and the same age as him attractive.

I don't find Daniel Kaluuya attractive, because I'm not attracted to black men like that. I do find Blake Griffin, who's around the same age as him attractive though. As I am attracted to more unconventional black men, and men in general.

So if that makes any sense to you, yeah.

It makes perfect sense, you hate yourself so of course you aren't going to be attracted to those who look like you. White/light-skinned guys/guys who don't "look traditionally black" attract you because in your head if you can secure one it will legitimize your existence because the guy from the next totem up came down and chose you.