Telling Your GF/BF/SO that your bi...

[countryboy2259]

Hey guys,

I've been a long time lurker here and occasional poster. I have always views myself as straight as in I could only love women and date women, but for the longest time I have loved looking at men and watching gay/bisexual porn. A few weeks ago I finally came to grips with myself and determined that I wasn't straight, but that I was bisexual.

I've been dating someone for 2 years now and we got engage she d not that long ago. I finally told her today that I was bisexual and that it was something that was bugging me for a long time. Her reaction? She was totally cool about it. She said as long as at the end of the day she's the one I come home she doesn't care who I look at and what kind of porn that I watch. She even went as far as saying that she struggled with that too at one point and that she would love to watch some gay/bi porn with me sometime.

When she said that it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulder! So, my question to all the bi guys out there, did you have a similar experience? If so, what was their reaction?

 

[blackbeltninja]

That is good news!

However... mine was the same when I told her. Initially, at least. It didn't bother her, provided I was able to be faithful, that I was attracted to both genders. But about 6 weeks later, it started bugging her and things got really awkward. I think she assumed it had been a phase and then, when she thought about it and what I said and asked more about it, she realised that it was not something which would go away, and then things never quite came right between us. It ended for other reasons, but I think my being bi played a bigger role than she will admit. My situation is different to yours, though - I had had sex with several guys already by that stage; yours seems like it has never got to the point where something happened.

Not saying your relationship will go the same way as mine ended up, of course, but maybe expect her to feel a little weird about it once it's all sunk in properly and be prepared to have several discussions about it all. Good luck!

-d-

 

[MatttheBruinsfan]

Congrats man! Sounds like she has her head on straight (so to speak), and understands that a wider range of people you're attracted to doesn't change the fact that she's the one you've chosen to be with. She's just beat out double the amount of competition.

 

[racer2438]

That works fine until someone get more attached the other person. By then it's more a open relationship which works for some but not all.

 

[njcollegekid]

i had no negative reactions to coming out, but not everyone knows yet (im not hiding it at this point, but friends back home, not at college dont know yet just cuz i havent had the chance to see em yet).
but i was single at the time, so there was no partner. but apparently bi people have a reputation/stereotype as especially promiscuous... never new that until a short while ago.

 

[blackbeltninja]

^Stick around; you'll get the accusation flung at you in Hot Topics eventually.

-d-

 

[countryboy2259]

Yeah, I haven't told my friends of family. I personally think they don't need to know. But it was really bugging me that she didn't know. I hope she doesn't freak out in a couple of years but I would never cheat on her and I think she knows that. I think I'm really lucky. Before I told her I just imagined her blowing up and breaking down. She thought I was crazy when I told her that's what I thought she'd do. Since I posted my first post we watched so bisexual porn (MMF) together and she really seemed to love it. She said she wants to watch that kind of porn again.

Anybody else with some stories to share?

 

[BiMike]

The problem for guys who are Bisexual is not just having those thoughts and watching gay/bisexual porn , loads of straight guys do that and as the OP has found out some girls too! The problem is if you want to take it a stage further and carry out your desires as far as other guys are concerned for real.
A lot of girls would not be worried if they found out their partner liked watching gay porn but it is an entirely different matter if they want to have some sexual relations with another guy. It is possible in some cases for them to agree to a threesome with another guy but these sort of set ups seldom last for long and can cause the break up of a relationship.
If the OP can satisfy his bisexual feelings by watching some gay/bisexual porn with his gf/partner thats is great but in my view he is not truely Bisexual , he is a straight guy who likes to watch gay porn ! No real problem loads of straight guys do it !

 

[njcollegekid]

If the OP can satisfy his bisexual feelings by watching some gay/bisexual porn with his gf/partner thats is great but in my view he is not truely Bisexual , he is a straight guy who likes to watch gay porn ! No real problem loads of straight guys do it !

you shitting us right?
sexuality is about arousal, not the expression of the that arousal. if a man can actually get him off (including a pornstar on a LCD), and a women can actually get him off, he is bi.
by your reasoning a man who is very much gay, watches only gay porn, but closeted and never had sex with another dude, is straight?

 

[Str8Top14701]

Lucky you. Sounds like a keeper!

 

[Storybook_Man]

Its always best to be honest. If you are playing for the other side and dating the opposite side. I think you need to take a look at your priorities. Surprising myself by saying this, as I did the same exact thing. Maybe its a revelation.