The first guy im sure of is into me and im too scared. :(

[beatleshead]

Theres this guy that I havent know for a very long time...I met him through sum, or actually one very good friend from high school. He works with him and has known him perhaps a year or so? and Ive known this friend for like six years now.

So anyway the thing is I think I really like my friends coworker, (I'll call him Corne here, its close to his name but not quite lol) and i think he digs me too, but im not completely sure...

The first time I ever met him was at my friend his coworker(who ill call Gabe) birthday party. The first time i layed eyes on him i was instantly turned on hes sort of my height, muscular and has cute face, its unique, not like bueatiful or anything but thats why i like it more. so we didnt really talk but we would sneak looks here and there and i was thinking maybe its cos he didnt know me...

...so once i decided to leave the party, when everybody was falling over and bleeding and throwing up, he was at the door with this girl and he had his arm around her. So as i was goin he said hey whats up i told him my name he told me his. while we were talking though he extended his hand for a handshake and i took it....but the whole time we talked he held my hand!!!

So the next time i saw him was at his job i went to visit Gabe and he was there...i wasnt planning on talking to Corne cos i get like that wen i like sumone who im pretty sure is straight..but he mad sure i talked to him, we said hi and stuff but that was pretty much it.

The next time i saw him was when I took him and Gabe to a soccer game that i got tickets for from my job...he seemed really excited to go and kept thanking me and stuff. we went out to eat afterwards and when gabe wasnt around he would like press up against me from behind, and then when we sat down, SOMEONE was rubbing my leg with thier feet...Which im now realising was probably Corne...I posted that incident somewhere on this forum somewhere lol

So the next thing that happened, perhaps the BIGGEST...was that he found out i like him...Im out to pretty much everybody and that whole circle of friends are straight but they all know im gay and thier cool with it...so i regularly talk to Gabe about my crush on Corne...but i guess this day Corne had his phone and i just so happen to be talking about my crush on him...he didnt let on that it was him until towards the end and then i was like...OH SHIT.

So the next time i saw him was at a party for our friend George...I was talking with friends i hadnt seen in a very long time so i hardly noticed he was there, plus i was scared because he found out i liked him...but he found me nonetheless and sat close to me....he didnt really say much cos he was very drunk, but he tried to irrelevant convo, and then he left. i left the party pretty early so i didnt see him after that.

So the next time i saw him was at a dinner Gabe threw at his house...i was fixing the guitar hero on the playstation when Corne walked in...i was bending down and couldnt see him, so he took the oppertunity to rub my head...i looked up and it was him lol...we talked a little throughout the night nothing crazy.

So the last time i saw him, which was not even a week ago...was at my Birthday party. I was smashed and extremely high, and i had been talking to him throughout the night...so then out of nowhere he starts carressing my neck and the back of my head like what lovers do after they've fucked lol...it felt SO good... i wanted to moan but i was consciece enuff to know not to. i did lay on his crotch though...that i remember clearly lol i felt so good around him that i just couldnt take it anymore and i layed in his lap...he let me too...it felt like we were there fro like hours but it was probably like five minutes lol all the while he was still playing with my neck...i passed out after that LOL

So yeah thats it. I think i want to pursue him but theres a couple of problems...

1. I never see him...all of the above events happened like a month apart from each other....and i dont have his number yet even though im pretty sure were at a friendly enuff level where we'd have each others numbers...

2. Hes affectionate to everybody like that...i mean there is a difference between how we are together and how he acts with everyone else, but i could be just imagining this and hes just treating me how he treats everyone else...

3. and lastly, if something did happen it would make it weird around our friends. And if he is interested hes probably in the closet, which we would then have to hide our banging like rabbits from our friends...i just came out after 19 years, i really dont feel like going back in the closet!!

So yeah im really confused. But i really really like him.

 

[beatleshead]

sorry about the spelling errors but im in a rush to class!!

 

[giorgiobaby]

sounds like he likes you to, invite him out for a drink or dinner and see what happens. Good luck

 

[G-Lexington]

Ask him. Straight out. "I quite like you, and I'd like to go out with you, but I'm not sure you're playing on my team."

Lex

 

[TX-Beau]

So yeah im really confused. But i really really like him.

I think you know what to do, and you just need some moral support.

Soooooooo, you can moan and angst and agonize, or you can act. You've already done a hard thing, you came out, this is nothing to that. This is you going after what you want, and even if he says no, you'll have done right by yourself and won't have to spend the rest of your life regretting not trying. It gets easier to talk to guys you like with practice. Fear of rejection is no way to go through life.

Now if you think he might not be interested, as in not interested in guys, you need to ask about that FIRST! If he says no, you can back off without making things weird by telling him you want his cock.

The closet issue is another thing. If he's in the closet you're not going to get anywhere with a real relationship until he's out. Trust me on this, that will become a huge issue sooner or later, and probably sooner.

Anyway why would your friends get weird? Is he dating one of them? Are they 'phobes? If there's a no to both of those, why are you worrying.

 

[beatleshead]

yeah i know i should just ask him...sometimes though i feel like there playing a game...corne and Gabe i mean. Like its well established that i like him and i know corne knows and like Gabe wont give me a straight answer if Corne is into me or not....

Like this pass weekend it was just me Gabe and Corne...Corne touched me, hugged me, rubbed on me practically every second of the night and of course i froze u every time like a deer in headlights...but then he would turn around and talk to Gabe about girls...and its like WTF?!?!?

Then when we were at Gabes house we were talking and they were telling me how they talk about everything at work and Corne was like yeah, EVERYTHING....

So then i got high and Corne wanted to go home...somehow i translated that (i was high albeit) as he was annoyed with me that night....i told this to Gabe after and he a was like TRUST ME theres no way Corne hates...if anything he thinks your the coolest guy ever...

Also why should i have to make the next move and ask him does he play for the gay team?? I ve done my part, he knows im gay, and he knows i like him. So if he does like me then he should make the next step. which means im bitching over nothing on here LOL

And TX Beau, its not that thier homophobes, its just that there learning about the gay world through me and trying to get rid of thier preconcieved notions about gay people because they sort of have to with me...but for two of thier guy friends to start suddenly dating would be...like a shock to the system. It would just get really ackward and i kinda dont wanna be responcible for that. so YAH.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>Also why should i have to make the next move and ask him does he play for the gay team?

Because you want something to happen, ya doofus. Things are much more likely to happen when we're proactive about them.

Lex

 

[yourally]

the fact that he was cool about you gushing about him TO him, when you didn't know it WAS him on the phone shows

1)he's very mature
2)he's into you
3)he seems a 100% catch

so dive in headfirst and enjoy the damn ride...!

do you know how many guys would react so well after that? not many.

 

[backpacker]

He wouldn't talk to Gabe about you if he were a closet case. He may be bi or gay, but I really doubt that he's straight.

You have made some moves and so has he. It sounds like he initiates some flirting with you when you see him, but it doesn't see like you reciprocate and step it up a notch. He may be equally as frustrated that nothing is happening. The two of you need to stop pretending like the elephant isn't in the room. Have Gabe give you his phone number and call him.

 

[beatleshead]

yo bros havent posted on here in a while....just thought id update....im totally in love with this guy....and right now were not speaking i think.

i got his number a while ago cos i got em a shirt from the playoff...ever since then we gotten kinda close....we text alot and its pretty much flirting. but i still seem to have that barrier between us like when he wants to hug or touch me or rub my arm i still pull away and im just realising how much it bothers him and its pissing me off cos im continueing a pattern from the last guy i loved...i scared him away for being an asshole

But now were not talking. cos we all went up to san diego (drunkenly, bad mistake) and me and gabe kinda had a falling out...corne was concerned and was checking up on me the other day but i was still kinda pissed so i kinda was undeservingly cold towards him....

we didnt talk for a week then i finally text him and he went off on me....i said that i know im wrong and that im gonna work on stop being an asshole to you...and he just replied wow i guess you got a lot of work to do....

so yeah i fucking depressed i just wanna get high or drink something rite now...i want him in my arms rite now but ill never get that far cos i fucked u like i always do...i deserve to be alone

 

[rareboy]

So. Snap out of it.

Grow up and stop behaving like an asshole to your friends.

Also. Stop texting. People aren't very good at getting their ideas across when texting. It just ramps up the drahma and often leads to further misunderstandings.

Frankly, from what you write, I think there are other behavioural problems and self-image issues you need to deal with first.

 

[KaraBulut]

yo bros havent posted on here in a while....just thought id update....im totally in love with this guy....and right now were not speaking i think.

Thanks for the update.

All of the things that you've written have one thing in common: they are all thing that you have control over and that you can change.

I agree with rareboy- pick up the phone, call him, repeat your apology and invite him to do something this weekend. Make arrangements so that you have some time alone. Explain why you've been distant and unable to be affectionate. And then the two of you need to talk about where you want to go from there.

This stuff is tough when you first start dating but if you get in the habit of being honest and having face-to-face talks then it will get easier and it will become very natural in your future relationships.