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This Cliche (aka help)

Give him a little time to process your text........ ;)
 
Flirting for weeks at a time is charming. I see a lot of people who get cynical if it takes longer than two days to get someone into bed, and I can't stand that attitude. Maybe this guy is one of them, though. Maybe he was flirting back at the OP, but he has a shorter attention span than mine.

Angsty text messages trying to sort out what it all means are not quite as charming, after two weeks or two years. If it doesn't seem reasonable to talk about it face to face, I wouldn't go there.

The easiest way to deal with this is to actually invite someone on a proper date, where you both know it is a date, and see if you end up talking the night away and have an easygoing fun time together. That is how you start building flirty attraction into a fun relationship that can go the distance.

Rule: if you're interested in someone, never spend more time talking about him than to him.
 
Well, we finally texted eachother (after 5 hours of nothing) and I more or less told him that I have feelings for him, and he replied "Is there anything I cand do to help those feelings? Like have I been doing anything that I can help?", so now I'm pretty sure I'm done, but it was a good ride.
 
I also, decided to take up his offer for "help", and I decided that when we get back we're going to talk to eachother alone in private, because as we were texting eachother, he really wants to do something for me, I guess this is the best thing for us to do. a little OT, but I also made some jokes to ease the tention, and if nothing else happens, I see that he's one of the best friends anyone could hope for.
 
iminluv86 said:
Well, we finally texted eachother (after 5 hours of nothing) and I more or less told him that I have feelings for him, and he replied "Is there anything I cand do to help those feelings? Like have I been doing anything that I can help?", so now I'm pretty sure I'm done, but it was a good ride.
Click to expand...

IDK how YOU interpret that but MY take on that is he WANTS to go farther....... (!)

Fucking texts don't cut it when you're getting to the nitty gritty....... ;)
 
seven2go said:
IDK how YOU
Fucking texts don't cut it when you're getting to the nitty gritty....... ;)
Click to expand...

Yeah I'm in agreement with Bankside and Seven. When it comes to something like a possible deeper friendship or relationship with someone, texting is the last thing you want to do. It's like breaking up with someone, you don't do that with a text or an email, have the balls to talk in person or at least on the phone.

Perhaps I'm different in that sense as I would not have made it such an ordeal requiring a serious conversation unless the other dude clearly needed to talk. I would let the actions speak for themselves. Like if you ever did have a moment alone and you found each other holding hands while sitting on the couch together and then evolving into petting or kissing, groping etc. or something, then maybe you can talk. But that's just me and I'm not looking for a relationship. FWB is always a plus though.

Also in agreement with Seven that he may want to take it further, if not to a relationship, maybe just some experimentation to possibly satisfy his curiosity and to help you out in the process. Sometimes that needs to happen to get it out of your system so the tension can be cleared. I've done that with a couple 'straight' married dudes on more than one occasion. Strangely I did it in those instances to save the friendships.
 
Okay, so I was going through the texts again, and noticed that he was apologizing to me because I told him my feelings for him are pretty new to me. I also noticed he really wants to help me any way he can because he constantly replied with things like "I stil want to be friends and ill help if i can". Then when I told him we should talk in person, he says "Ok man if that's what your feeling we can", so I guess its nice to see he really cares about how I feel.
 
That is a plus. If he isn't willing to take it further as you'd hope, he may be wanting to know if there is anything he can do differently with his behavior in his interactions with you that he thinks may be giving you the wrong impression. For example, all the flirtations, the looks, playing footsie etc. So be prepared this may change things a bit with the friendship. He may stop doing those things that make him charming and cute to you.
 
Yeah, I'm prepared, like I said earlier, I have to keep an open mind and prepare for whatever is going to happen, whether I like it or not
 
*For some reason I cant edit my last post* Anyway, I have a question for anyone here, when we talk (wich wont be for two weeks),what should I say so I dont screw up completely? I mean, obviously my dumb mind is hoping for the whole "I know ou had a crush on me, and I like you too..." blah blah, but in realiy, I know it will be an experience that will leave us feeling awkward.
 
Okay, so I texted him last week, and we agreed to stay friends. So yesterday, I'm at dinner alone, because my friends didnt know I was back, and a cute baseball player was totally checking me out (he kept trying to catch my eyes, and succeeded), but that's not important right now. Today, I'm going to lunch, and I see one of our friends, he gets a phone call from you know who, and asked him if he wanted to go eat somewhere other than the cafeteria, he always asks us, but he "forgot" to ask me, I'm pretty sure our friends know what's up, cause I got a long-ish knowing stare from my friend out of nowhere. So, I finally see the guy at about 12 in the lab, and he barely lifts his head up and says "what's up?" quietly. So, I'm thinking about the baseball boy, because we played peek-a-boo again at lunch, and I had a lot to do in the lab. So, my other two friends are in there and they're all cheery and noisy, except you know who. I barely acknowledged him or anyone really due to my heavy work load today, and he begins making plans with one of our friends a bit loud, to let everyone know his plans for the day. :roll: I just keep to myself, and everybody does their usual thing, but what got me was that when I make a joke, he's laughing like it's the funniest thing ever told, and when I'm talking to a friend, he's trying to give another friend a pencil, but he's staring straight at me. This is either the most hilariously cutest way of him showing that he likes me, or a sad attempt to shut me out. Either way, if he's interested, that's cool, but until then, I like playing peek-a-boo with my new sports buddy.
 
*Wanted to add (since I cant make the friggin edt), that he had a silly little smirk on his face everytime he looked at me.
 
Yikes, I meant my first crush was giving off a smirk, not my ball player(uhh), but it doesnt matter, since I plan to "play ball"
 
^ Or if you DO get lucky.......maybe play BALLS........ ..|
 
Something's missing. Did you have "the big talk" then?
 
No, actually, we talked via text and decided that "as long as we both know we're good" (his words), there's no problem. But, that stupid little smirk, the avoiding (understandable to a degree, he doesnt know how to process it yet), and then obviously looking at me makes me think he wants to talk, but just can't. Added with the fact that I didnt get to go to dinner, I figured out that if I hang out with my other set of friends, and our friends (and he just misses me due to having a lot on my plate right now in terms of work), he might be the one to patch things up between us. For now, I'm not going to do what I did last time and practically beg with my eyes to make him acknowledge me, instead, I'll let him talk to me.
 
So, you remember a while back when I said we were an "unofficial couple",well we are really acting like one now. So Mon., we dont talk to eachother at all, so I get the feeling he needs his space, Tues. pretty sure he tried to play footsie with me, but I was not in the mood, so we see eachother last night with our different set of friends, and we're kind of talking to eachother, we make sort of eye contact, and today, I say "hey *his name*, and he jumps up, acting like he;s never heard my voice in forever, and a close friend and I are walking to lunch, and we pass him and one of his close friends, we didnt say a word to eachother. So, we're more or less acting like a couple that broke up at this point. All I want to know is what gives? Does he find me unsettling to him? Does he want us to be "us" again? I'm trying to give him his space, but it seems harder now that he's glancing at me, giving a depressed look and trying to mirror me in ways that scream "CAN WE PLEASE MAKE UP?"
 
^an "unofficial couple" would at least hold hands and kiss let alone do something like oral or whatever. You're still at that point where you're not even sure he's bi or gay. You haven't really talked about "the elephant in the room". You haven't done anything to really nurture any kind of romantic interest. The flirting can get old after awhile and until you have the balls to make a move with just you two alone, there's really no point to all this.

If it were me, I would have swallowed his cum already. I would have figured a way to get us alone, comfortable and turned on. I would let my actions speak for themselves, shoot first, talk later. If you're alone and watching something that could turn you both on (not necessarily porn) then just have at it. Get close, look into his eyes, touch his hand...there is a lot to be said for subtly when it comes to figuring out where you stand with someone. Like I said, your ACTIONS should speak for themselves. You don't always need to have some long drawn out discussion on how you're bi and you want to know if he is too blah blah blah.

If you don't want to use subtly, then just make a point to gawk at his ass and then look up into his eyes and smile. If he doesn't kick your ass, then maybe he will get the hint to make some alone time for you two...

But then again maybe i'm just talking out of MY ass. Don't worry too much about it, I get the sense you like to obsess and over think things. You can't plan everything dude, sometimes you just have to let thing be and let things happen naturally.
 
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