"I need to get my ducks in a row, fast."
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<And who hasn't said that before in a drunken rage?>
I know I have.
But now there's help available for less than the cost of two IMAX movie tickets, a large popcorn, couple of Redbulls and a flask of Captain Morgan's spiced rum.
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Hi, I'm Tug Atwood: Are your ducks confused?
Do they seem mildly retarded at times; bothering the neighbor's cat or randomly trekking through your herb garden snacking on rosemary and eating up your thyme?
Have you given up hope of ever seeing the noisy little sonz-a-bitches lined up in a nice even row? Well calm down, 'cause we have a product for you__but it's only available through this special JustUsBoys offer!
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DO YOU WANT YOUR
DUCKS IN A ROW?
Wait no longer, you to can have what so many others have achieved...
That's right, you can now own the very same tools used by countless Hollywood insiders and corporate CEO's, to get their own personal ducks in a row!
so...what are you waiting for?
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order
DUCKS IN A ROW!
RIGHT NOW!
and never worry about your delicate water fowl again!
aaaawww, that's just adorable
You'll join the hundreds of DUCKS IN A ROW members already experiencing the security and peace of mind that comes with having one's DUCKS IN A ROW!~
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So how much would you expect to pay for a deal like this? Some high end department stores in Europe and Aruba have charged over $350 for similar products. But you won't pay over $300. Hell, you won't even pay 40 dollars......amazingly.......now you can own this remarkable product, for the incredible price of only
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3 easy payments of
___$9.99___
Don't spend another day worrying about massive chaos with your feathered swimmers
get DUCKS IN A ROW
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It's only, 3easy payments of
___$9.99___
plus shipping & handling
You'll get everything you need to swiftly have all your DUCKS IN A ROW that first day!
Each kit includes an in-depth, interactive DVD with step by step instructions, a limited edition DUCKS IN A ROW shower curtain set and hours of great duck footage you'll enjoy for years to come!
other products sold separately & available in the 2012 DIAR Catalog
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But wait!
THAT'S NOT ALL!
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Order in the next 10 minutes and we'll include as a special (one time only) bonus offer!
EGGS IN ONE BASKET
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Are you tired of having countless baskets of eggs just sitting around cluttering up the place? ...and who isn't?
Then you need to get your EGGS IN ONE BASKET and say goodbye to the overly redundant repetition of flimsy wicker or (dangerously rusty) steel wire totes!
Just think, you'll be making perfect French Toast or fried eggs in the center of sliced bread with a hole in the middle, the very first day you open your
EGGS IN ONE BASKET
motivational DVD kit!
Be the envy of your friends and family when they see you've finally gotten all your EGGS IN ONE BASKET!
WHAT A TREMENDOUS FEELING; SEEING THEM ENVIOUS!
But the best part is... you can get your EGGS IN ONE BASKET...
absolutely FREE!
...just pay separate shipping and handling, state & local taxes, a modest warehouse charge and processing fees
BUT hold on!
If you call right this very second and tell the operator the secret password, *QUACK*
then we'll knock off ONE entire payment!
YES!!
You can get your DUCKS IN A ROW! along with the EGGS IN ONE BASKET!
BOTH for only 2 easy payments of just $9.99
plus the above mentioned costs as well as a small operator surcharge we'll gladly add to your phone bill as an added convenience for you...
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Time is running out!
Order your D.I.A.R. now!
At first I thought the text captions should be the other way around, butt then I realized that being inebriated makes the "old" lady see herself as young again.
