Why Can't JUBers Learn To Speak?

[The_Reaper]

It seems every day I come on, another language is slowly taking over this site.

I'm not saying an actual language, I'm complaining more about the usage of "slang" and "internet banter".

Don't get me wrong, every once in awhile it is useful to shorten you to u or laughing my ass off to lmao...

But what is with this new fixation of replacing S with Z?

That's one method of speaking that I've never quite been able to understand.

And then there comes the biggest atrocity against the English language: The poor usage of grammer.

Tell me, my fellow JUBers...Which one of these is easier to read?

1.) Once upon a time, there lived a peaceful prince in the kingdom of Far, Far Away. One day he went on a mythical quest to rescue his fairy godfather, and forever find the strapping lad he was meant to be with.

So, he set forth from his castle on his trusty steed and sped away into the night.


OR....

2.) once upon a time there lived a peaceful prince in the kingdom of far far away one day he went on a mythical quest to rescue his fairy godfather and forever find the strapping lad he was meant to be with so he set forth from his castle on his trust steed and sped away into the night


Ghastly, isn't it?

Remember my fellow JUBers what you're dealing with. The majesty and grandeur of the English language, it's the greatest possession we have.

The noblest thoughts that ever flowed through the hearts of men are contained in its extraordinary, imaginative, and musical mixtures of sounds!

Well, that being said....

Why can't JUBers learn to speak?!

 

[slobone]

OK, that's the second thread we've had complaining about bad usage from somebody who thinks "grammar" is spelt "grammer." One more and I'm calling the cops!

 

[CaptainJohn]

You're presuming that the average human has a modicum of intelligence. In this modern society ignorance, stupidity, and laziness are considered admirable traits.

 

[ahotjock71]

These damn young-un's. They need to be spanked.

 

[Rali_hates_Mondays]

Well I write quite long sentences but I do use punctuation to make them more readable (I don't know if that's a word- well tough I'm making it up!). Sometimes I have loads of thoughts in my head that I want to put down but then my sentence turns into a paragraph, which is incredibly annoying, but if you've done latin before, you will find yourself writing humongous sentences.

 

[ozguy]

Don't get me started!!!

And before Croynan beats me to it ......

Hear them down in Soho square,
Dropping "h's" everywhere.
Speaking English anyway they like.
You sir, did you go to school?
Man Wadaya tike me for, a fool?
Henry No one taught him 'take' instead of 'tike!
Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?
This verbal class distinction, by now,
Should be antique. If you spoke as she does, sir,
Instead of the way you do,
Why, you might be selling flowers, too!
Hear a Yorkshireman, or worse,
Hear a Cornishman converse,
I'd rather hear a choir singing flat.
Chickens cackling in a barn Just like this one!
Eliza Garn! Henry I ask you, sir, what sort of word is that?
It's "Aoooow" and "Garn" that keep her in her place.
Not her wretched clothes and dirty face.
Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?
This verbal class distinction by now should be antique.
If you spoke as she does, sir, Instead of the way you do,
Why, you might be selling flowers, too.
An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely classifies him,
The moment he talks he makes some other
Englishman despise him.
One common language I'm afraid we'll never get.
Oh, why can't the English learn to set
A good example to people whose
English is painful to your ears?
The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears.
There even are places where English completely
disappears. In America, they haven't used it for years!
Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?
Norwegians learn Norwegian; the Greeks have taught their
Greek. In France every Frenchman knows
his language fro "A" to "Zed"
The French never care what they do, actually,
as long as they pronounce in properly.
Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning.
And Hebrews learn it backwards,
which is absolutely frightening.
But use proper English you're regarded as a freak.
Why can't the English,
Why can't the English learn to speak?

 

[NameTaken]

As long as it's not too bad (within reason) I really don't give a crap. I think that the people who DO care a lot are just bored and looking to bitch somebody out.

 

[NameTaken]

Mine? Or am I being presumptuous? (Cause that's kind of off-toic... :/)

 

[plucky]

Well, I've been learning English nearly whole my life and I still can't say writing/speaking in this language comes easy to me. I think that people for who English is a foreign language pay more attention to be understood than native speakers. I try to be up to date with the modern language but it's hard to know all the 'slang words'. Sometimes I wonder whether my English is that bad or some people have problems with communication. Ah, and my interpunction is a disaster.

And as for long sentences nothing can beat German.

 

[Lube]

As long as it's not too bad (within reason) I really don't give a crap. I think that the people who DO care a lot are just bored and looking to bitch somebody out.

Do you really see no difference between the original poster's first and second example paragraphs?

If the second one came first, how long would it have taken you to read it to figure out what he was saying?

There's a reason capitalization and punctuation were invented: to make it easier for the reader to understand what you're trying to convey.

He wasn't asking for perfect English; just something reasonable.

 

[TylerKS]

I cannot stand my own generation esp the way some of them type.

yes you sexy bitch.

Quit thread jacking

 

[gsdx]

English is dying as a spoken language. There are too many versions of it around these days.

 

[dpnice]

I have corrected your comment a little. Please excuse me but now it looks more like something we read on JUB.



"once upon a time, the're lived a peaceful prince in the kingdom of far far away 1 day he went on a mithical quest to rescue his fairy godfather and 4ever find the strapping lad he was meant 2 b with so he set 4th from his's carstle on his's trusty steed and sped away in2 the night"

 

[Lube]

English is dying as a spoken language. There are too many versions of it around these days.

Probably a lot like Latin. 1000 years from now, there may not be English any more, just a bunch of derivative languages (and I don't mean derivative in a negative sense).

 

[Lube]

I have corrected your comment a little. Please excuse me but now it looks more like something we read on JUB.



"once upon a time, the're lived a peaceful prince in the kingdom of far far away 1 day he went on a mithical quest to rescue his fairy godfather and 4ever find the strapping lad he was meant 2 b with so he set 4th from his's carstle on his's trusty steed and sped away in2 the night"

2 funE!

 

[reversaloftime]

As long as it's not too bad (within reason) I really don't give a crap. I think that the people who DO care a lot are just bored and looking to bitch somebody out.

*claps* I agree. Nobody's perfect. I mean, if people cant read it that bad, then they should respectfully and maturely say "I cant quite understand what you mean, can you clarify that a bit?" Or something within that extent. In most cases, that's really all that should be needed, IMO.

 

[gsdx]

*claps* I agree. Nobody's perfect. I mean, if people cant read it that bad, then they should respectfully and maturely say "I cant quite understand what you mean, can you clarify that a bit?" Or something within that extent. In most cases, that's really all that should be needed, IMO.

I have done this in the past. I don't do it anymore as I was told, in words similar to these, to "go have anal intercourse with myself".

 

[ComNavFdgPk]

I think everyone makes "typing" errors. I'm horrendous ( Can. Sp. ) at the keyboard, but I believe I do quite well with the English language, my third language after Italian ,(born in Italy) French, ( educated in France ) then English ( did my graduate work in Canada and France ).

Oh my, aren't you just special!!!!

 

[gsdx]

I'm horrendous ( Can. Sp. ) at the keyboard

Sticking a 'u' in it doesn't make it a Canadian spelling. That's how the Americans spell 'horrendous' as well.

 

[gsdx]

I don't see what the big deal is.

It's not really such a big deal with me, Danno. I'm quite patient with someone who speaks English very sparingly. I can be very patient in trying to figure out what they are trying to say.

I'm not quite so patient with people who speak no other language than English. If I have to try to translate it into something I can understand, I usually just pass on by, and have done so on many occasions.