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1 Year No Sex

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hey everyone

bit of a problem with my bf. we've been together a year....and no anal sex. i find i'm getting bored with our sex life....blow jobs are rare and not that good. i think maybe 6 in the last 12 months. after the first couple of dates, we talked about positions...i said i was top...he said he was versititle. as we progressed, when it came to penetration, he said he wanted to take it slow. i was ok with that....a couple of months ago, I told him i wanted to make love to him....he told me he never did that before and was 'scared'. so it's on the backburner.

my big problem is....he's talking about us moving in together, our future...being soul mates...etc...but the no sex thing is bothering me. i can't imagine myself going through the rest of my life just getting jerked off...no anal and no oral. i've always had a pretty high sex drive, and since i've been with him....it's gone down. we live in different cities...and i find myself having better orgasims jerking off to internet porn than with him....last night we were together...and well..i jerked him off....once he came...i said i was tired......

this is leaking into other areas...i'm getting cranky

oh...background...my ex was a total bottom....and nothing was off limits....and while i'm in bed with him....i'm imagining myself with ex-lovers....

thoughts?
 
I agree. Tell him. If bottoming is a problem for him, better to find out now before you move in together/things progress further.
 
This would be a deal breaker for me. Time to move on, after a year if it has not happened and the sex is shitty (or not as the case may be!) it is not going to get better.

Move on.
 
My bf and I had this discussion when we were reading about someone else in a advice column...

I told him if we were to even go 2 weeks without sex we would have a serious conversation about it..

1 month with no sex I would tell him its time to put up or get out. Because at that point... Its either him or I'm going to get it somewhere else.

1 year isn't even conceivable... I can't believe you lasted this long.
 
I think if you love the person sex should be there, its an outlet to show your love to him. i can understand the whole no sex thing but a year is a while, and to be honest i was scared shitless the first time i bottomed (pun intended) but just talk to him about it, and just tell him you will be very gentile or buy a Dildo or sumthin and start working it with him that way...
 
hey everyone

bit of a problem with my bf. we've been together a year....and no anal sex. i find i'm getting bored with our sex life....blow jobs are rare and not that good. i think maybe 6 in the last 12 months. after the first couple of dates, we talked about positions...i said i was top...he said he was versititle. as we progressed, when it came to penetration, he said he wanted to take it slow. i was ok with that....a couple of months ago, I told him i wanted to make love to him....he told me he never did that before and was 'scared'. so it's on the backburner.

my big problem is....he's talking about us moving in together, our future...being soul mates...etc...but the no sex thing is bothering me. i can't imagine myself going through the rest of my life just getting jerked off...no anal and no oral. i've always had a pretty high sex drive, and since i've been with him....it's gone down. we live in different cities...and i find myself having better orgasims jerking off to internet porn than with him....last night we were together...and well..i jerked him off....once he came...i said i was tired......

this is leaking into other areas...i'm getting cranky

oh...background...my ex was a total bottom....and nothing was off limits....and while i'm in bed with him....i'm imagining myself with ex-lovers....

thoughts?

has he gone for counseling? why is he afraid? is there a way to make him less afraid? do it in stages?

how about you bottoming? are you willing ? perhaps top for him would be less scary

i cannot imagine being with someone for a year and not having sex but if you love him you will continue to try to find a way - as long as he's trying as well

if you don't love him ................ well move on
 
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