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18 Year Old College Kid!

B

bogamer

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So basically, I'm an 18 year old student attending a university in the state of Alabama! I'm very deep in the closet... (as I veer off) My father told me that he would disown me if he found out about me doing anything with anyone other than a 100% woman. He told me he could get over it if I experimented with marijuana or alcohol, but do not experiment with my sexuality. Little did he know... And he's mentioned it numerous times. If I "decide" I want to be gay, I can kiss college and my family goodbye. My mom plays like she's against it, but I think she could get over it. My dad however, I'm not so sure about. Crazy thing is, he's an amazing dad. Just close minded. I don't think I'm gay, but I know I'm not straight. I do however see myself with a wife and a family. I consider myself graysexual. I don't just feel pure sexual attraction. The attraction I feel to anyone is from emotional appeal mostly. And I can feel that from both men and women. Oh well. I'm pretty good academically, just finished my first semester as a Freshmen in college officially (I have attended summer college for 2 years now while getting my diploma) That's essentially my life story. I'm here because I love seeing men in the throws of love. I hardly even watch porn as much as I do listen to the sounds as I masturbate.

I know I said alot, but I hope to make many friend here and you've got to put yourself out there a bit! :)
 
Wow. Did he say this pre-emptively without you telling him you're gay? It sounds like he might have some insecurities himself regarding sexuality if he says stuff like out of the blue--or even if he did say it in response to something.

Sounds like what he is saying is more about you than him. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, especially in your ability to admire his good qualities, separating them from his issues with sexuality. Very mature--something a lot of people don't master in a lifetime.
 
Well, we have had run ins concerning me having LGBTQ friends and he just included that in his "pre-college" talk. My mom has joked with him alot about his homophobia being a sign of some insecurities. I guess being a military kid has the tendency to make you grow up a bit faster with all the moving around. Or at least that's my theory.
 
By the way... Thanks guys for the warm welcome. I see me having tons of fun here!
 
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