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1st Story Freaking Out.

vampsrock1992

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Ok guys here it goes not the best at grammar and punctuation. Sorry for any errors and mistakes don’t be too critical. Whew here it goes



PART 1 - DOES HE LIKE ME?




There I was, staring at him like an idiot drooling over an obviously straight guy who would never even look in my direction. But suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw he was walking toward me - the new guy ALEX. A gorgeous tall blond with a perfect body and a great ass by the looks of it. My favorite thing about him is that he always wears shirts that are a bit small on him and every time he lifted up his arms the shirt would move up and you could see his awesome treasure trail.

But was he really walking toward me? Oh my God he was! He stood in front of me and said, "Hey there I’m Alex."

"I know - my name is Andrew,” I replied. Oh my God were we really talking to each other?

"So how do you know who I am? I’ve never seen you around school before."

"Actually we have math and trig together but I’m not insulted that you did not know my name. You are popular and I’m not – it’s totally OK."

"Oh my God I’m so sorry I have no idea how I could not have noticed you - you’re cute!"

"What you think I’m cute, you’re lying, surely? You are straight aren’t you?"

"No I’m not straight I’m gay and you are too right?"

*****

Part 1 done hope you guys like it :-) and please don’t be too critical.
 
Like I said this is going to be a short story this is just the first part I hope it's OK and you guys like it.
 
Well, you have managed an introduction and created your main characters. You will see how I have applied some TLC.

Take your time and write a longer piece now - try for about 1000 words.
 
So far i think you have a wonderful story. I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this. Im a sucker for drama, might know that if you read anything that i write.
 
Way to go vamps
Soooooooo good already. For someone freaking out you have kept it together.
Whoosh there goes the inhibitions as the crowd clamours for more more more!
Proud of you mate. Awesome start.
 
It's good Vamps personally I wouldn't have been so fast in making the characters be so forward with each other to avoid the story sounding to far fetched, if you were going to write another story I'd start it with the characters feelings being a little more suttle especially with a character like Alex, who is thought to be straight I'd expect a character like that to be hesitant with his feelings you know? Not trying to hurt your feelings or knock you down just tryna help :)
 
Great first effort, Vampsrock!

Looking forward to where Y'all are going to take us next!
 
Does he Like you? -- i got my money on YES -- you're just too cute not to like ! and he's talking to you - so please take us to the next step !!
 
Ah! I love that first step forward............... Short but informational in setting up your characters. Worry not, just let it start to flow and you will be surprised at how easy it was. I'm very proud of you.....

Craiger
 
PART 2

THE FIRST TIME WE KISSED


"Wow really I never would've guessed."

"Yea, most people don't I think its my looks or maby I just look too much like a man."

"Well the ones that say you look too much like a man I would have to go with them." We both laughed a little bit at that .As we stood there talking I could'nt help but look over this beautyful man's body. He was so built that I could'nt belive it. Every part of his body was so well defined and then the worst thing happend. I noticed that while looking over I was getting turned on. So I tried to get my mind back on the conversation I was haveing with AELX.

"So then I scored the winnig goal for our team and the whole crowd got up and cheered."

"What? uhm oh yea. I was at the game too. I need to confess something too you though."

"What is that?"

"The ony reason I came to the game was so I could see you play in those baggy clothes they make you wear and every time you jumped up and exposed your body I almost died."

"Really, well did I turn you on while I was playing?"

"More than once but I'm sure you did that to every girl there too."

"Well i may have to ability to turn girls on but they arent really my target audience." We both laughed at that and I noticed that my boner was gone so I relaxed a little bit more and tryed to see if he would dance with me.

"So here we are at a party got great music going discovered that we both like each other what do u wanna do?" I asked already knowing he would probably say no because i didnt think he was out yet. but to my suprise he grabed our two empty cups ther them into the trash and started rubbing up against me like teenage girls do to there boyfirends at middle school dances.

"WOW!" I said I was so grabed off gaured but this that i just reacted and grabed his hips and started grinding with him. It was incredible here i was grinding with the hotest guy in school and not getting turned on. At that moment i was soo happy that i wasnt getting hard that i just basked in what we were doing. We danced for a few more minutes and then stoped to go rehidrate ourselves. "WOW!" He exclaimed. "I didnt think you would get so into that" he said.

"Yeah well im just glad that you didnt mind me doing what I did. "Nah it was fine in fact i had alot of fun and i actually got turned on a bit." After we talked a little bit a slow song came on and he said. "Oh I love this song I hope that grinding isnt all your good at on the dance floor." I just smiled at him and he led me out on the dance floor and he put his hands on my hips and i put mine around his neck and i just looked into his beautyful eyes. The nect thing that happend took me comepletely by suprise as we were stading there holding eachother i found our faces moving cloer together closer and closer and then. BANG!!!! There it was our lips met each others and that sent electric shocks all through my body as I lost my self in our imbrace.


Part 2 up hope you guys like it. Again please dont be too crtical ive never writen on the computer before. (*8*)
 
"maby I just look too much like a man" saying that gay or bisexual men look like...?
 
Hey VR,

I think it was obvious that the reference of looking like a man was that people probably thought he was straight. I think Fetishboy was just curious but not offended.
Being able to dance same sex in this day and age doesn't seem to attract as much attention. It was certainly prohibited before and I like the idea that Alex isn't afraid of his reputation particularly when he kissed Andrew on the dance floor...lol Damn, that never happened to me... Keep up the good work.

Craiger
 
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