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2 times now, sex with a guy just couldnt get me hard

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2 times now, i had sex with a guy, and the second one was cute too, but i was hard at first, but i just got soft, and couldnt get hard again. im usually fucking hard all the time, and i sometimes jack off 3/4 times a day. does that mean i'm not gay?
 
2 times now, i had sex with a guy, and the second one was cute too, but i was hard at first, but i just got soft, and couldnt get hard again. im usually fucking hard all the time, and i sometimes jack off 3/4 times a day. does that mean i'm not gay?

I’d probably say it’s a good sign you’re not even BI – so down near the “Pure Hetro” end of the Kinsey Scale.

Someone said to me “Listen to your Dick” – not what your mind thinks.

If your dick get’s hard – that’s a sure sign of sexual desire – if it’s soft then you can be equally sure that you’re not sexually excited by something
 
2 times now, i had sex with a guy, and the second one was cute too, but i was hard at first, but i just got soft, and couldnt get hard again. im usually fucking hard all the time, and i sometimes jack off 3/4 times a day. does that mean i'm not gay?

what makes you think you liked men in the first place? sounds really strange to me..
 
what makes you think you liked men in the first place? sounds really strange to me..

I think it’s how people are in terms of sexuality.

Sometimes you can like an idea (maybe a major sexual fantasy) – but not enjoy doing it at all once you try it for real.

Other times a sexual idea can have no interest to you at all – but when you actually do it you find it totally exciting.

I think both outcomes are just how people are
 
The above two posters are wrong (no offense).

I'm gay and this has happened to me before.

1. You said you thought the guy was cute, I take that to mean you were attracted to him physically before you decided to have sex. That's not typical of a straight person.

2. You say that you were hard at first, but then went soft. I've had this happen. Especially if you were the bottom, its not easy for me to stay hard while getting fucked usually.

3. Also, you say that you jack off 3-4 times a day, this can definitely make it harder if you had done that a few times before meeting up with him.

4. Lastly, since you say this is only the second guy you've had sex with, it's possible that nerves played into it. You can be attracted to someone and still not get hard if you are nervous.

In summary, sure the possibility exists that you are not gay but the fact that you didn't get hard during sex these times does not prove you are not. At the very least, you were attracted to the guy and chose to have sex with him and were hard for at least part of it. I'd say that makes you at least not completely straight.
 
The above poster is wrong (no offense).

Because of his basic assumption that an interest in other guys means someone is really gay

It’s quite possible to like the idea of sex with other guys – without actually liking doing it for real.

As someone said – “Labels are for Jars – not people - The best thing is to just do what seems right to you – not worry if that means you Gay, BI or STR8
 
Helllllllllllo people! We are not animals. Fear, guilt, desire to emotionally connect, etc. can all lead to loss of an erection. Beating off frequently can have the same effect. Telling someone what their sexual orientation is seems a tad presumptuous.
 
Because of his basic assumption that an interest in other guys means someone is really gay

It’s quite possible to like the idea of sex with other guys – without actually liking doing it for real.

The poster seemed to indicate that he did like doing it. (i.e. he said the guy was cute, meaning it seems he was attracted to him, and that he had an erection at first). He seemed like he was saying that he did enjoy it but was just unsure why he wasn't hard.

He didn't say "I was intrigued with the idea of sex with men at first but when I did it I was disgusted at the site of another naked man".

Also, notice that I did not say definitively that he was gay, just that your statement that he necessarily was not just because he lost his erection was not correct.
 
You guys aren't answering his question...

To answer your question:

No, this does not mean that you are not gay. I agree with hotatlboi had said. All the things he'd listed is some of the things that might have caused you to go soft. Don't worry about it too much the next time you're about to have sex though. It was probably the nerves because you said it was only your second time?
 
I know your pain sagger....

I met a guy at some place called the pier, its an actual fishing pier that has a lot of gay/bi/straight guys cruising it. Well the first time I met this guy, I was so turned on because he is very good looking, has a great dick and in good shape.

So him and I fooled around and man what a mouth and ass that guy had. I didn't have a hard time getting hard at all.. lol So we met up a few more times and even had a couple threeways with my friend who I have sex with from time to time. Never had a problem getting hard, however my friend did because he needs a lot of stimulation, if you give great head he will get hard within 10 minutes, if you give ok head it will take a half hour, if you give crappy head, he doesnt get hard lol, which at that point he jerks off. So anyways, I think it transfered over to me...

The last few times now that me and this guy from the pier have met up, I haven't gotten hard or couldn't keep it hard, I wouldn't even jerk off that day too... He would suck my cock and it just wouldn't go, then if I did, I would try to fuck him and it would go limp. I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on and it was getting me mad and I felt bad for the guy because I couldn't give it to him.. lol I think it was all in my mind though, it all seemed like it was too planned or maybe I was just bored with it. But everytime I was like this, it seems like it was when my friend was there too. I guess because he wasn't getting hard, so I wasn't getting turned on. So I am giving it some time before I call the guy from the pier to meet up. Maybe that will get me going again..
 
An erection isn't necessarily an indication of sexual desire. You can totally pop random wood and not be turned on by anything. It's hormonal and physical (and emotional, too).

Not being able to stay hard while having sex is not an indicator of whether or not you like guys.

Maybe your feelings were getting in the way. Maybe you have some "repressed memories" or bad experiences. However, I think I'll go out on a limb and say it's probably because you don't like anal sex (although you didn't specify what KIND of sex you had). There are plenty of homosexual men that do not enjoy anal, and there are plenty of heterosexual men that do!

It's far from cut-and-paste, and honestly, sexuality is a very difficult thing. Maybe we should stop trying to give him definitive labels and stick more to offering suggestions how to remedy this?

Maybe next time, instead of anal sex, stick to oral? Maybe do some frot? You can always thrust between his thighs, or vice-versa.
 
i'm just really confused, cause when im at work if i see hot guys, i just have to look, so i think i am gay, but when i had sex with the guy, he was cute too, we sucked each other off, but head just didnt seem all that great.i've had a better time at jacking off at really good porn. this guy has a really nice cock too, but when i was sucking him off, i didnt hate it, but ddint really enjoy it as much as .i thought i would have we also kissed too, and i've always wanted to kiss a hot guy, but when i kissed him, i just didnt really feel anything, i wasnt that turned on, or enjoyed it as i thought i would have. and i dont think i'll ever do anal.
 
It's happened to me before as well and sometimes I wonder if I'm really gay.

Not all guys turn me on. It's just got to be something about the guy. Something about the moment that gets my motor running. It's hard to explain.

Some guys just have a way of turning me on more than others do. It's something about the way they behave and stuff.

But about 60% of the time, I can't even jump start the thing.

Then it's like, why don't we watch TV.

maybe. cause i usually like the non feminin type. i like really masculine guys. not bulging muscles, but act really straight. cause maybe hes too feminin for me?
 
Could be , but the only way to surely know if you are really gay in this case is to have sex with a woman or analyze your sexual desires and see if you are more attracted to women or men , or maybe both (!) .
 
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