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21...never dated a dude

L

lostwithoutyou

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i find myself to be good looking. i just came out and im a dancer it hasnt happened for me yet either. but im told that being dark skinned doesnt really fly with most guys so when it happens it happens but im not into hooking up. no ones touching me in that until they atleast know my last name lol
 
wow. i love dark skinned guys. maybe because i live in and grew up in berkeley. i don´t know what to say. i haven´t dated either. i wish i had, but it´ll happen. used to hook up with guys because i was waaay to horny for my own good, but now i really do want a meaingful relationship. i have a lot of girl friends who are bi, but surprisingly few gay/bi guy friends/acquaintances. i think it´s probably normal for gay guys in their early twenties to have not dated yet (which is so unfair sinnce many straight guys get to get date as young as 13-15!)
 
I_Just_Blew_My_Load86 said:
So I just turned 21. I have yet to date a guy, and I'm really surprised by this. I'm very good looking, in shape, reasonably intelligent. I've had a hard time with my sexuality, so I think that may be it..but then I think, FUCK I'm 21. How could I have gone this long without a b/f?

I'm not out, and do not wish to be. But as other posts have mentioned, guys in my age range 18-29, are not interested in dating for the most part. I don't get it.

Any other good looking guys not dated another guy?
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I consider myself to be good looking but yeah I've never dated anyone. And I totally agree that most people in that age bracket are not interested in dating exclusively and it sucks.
 
Um easy. Its called just the way it is.

You'll get there.
 
I was 22 before I started 'dating' . He was 40 at the time. Maybe you're looking in the wrong age bracket? I certainly don't see the rampant racism in the gay community that IJBML86 refers to. It must be the particular community you live in.

Being good looking isn't necessarily going to get you a BF. Being funny, smart, at ease with yourself and others, etc. probably will.
 
I got my first BF when I was 22 as well (he was 25). I was just out of the closet (only 2-3 people knew). I think that it is totally true what was said that most younger guys not wanting to date especially other guys. Hey, they do not need to date to ‘get it’. I also think that part of it has to do with being out, accepting yourself. I think that people ‘know’ when you feel good (more accepting I mean) about yourself.
 
I_Just_Blew_My_Load86 said:
I'm not out, and do not wish to be. But as other posts have mentioned, guys in my age range 18-29, are not interested in dating for the most part. I don't get it.
Click to expand...
Not being out is a problem. I won't date anyone that isn't out. I don't mean out as in wearing a sign around his neck or decked all out in rainbow flags, I mean out as to family. If the guy is afraid to be seen with another guy because of what family or friends may think, I don't have time for them. That is just me.
If someone has a problem with skin colour it is their loss, not yours. You don't need to put up with that type of trash.
 
I'm not good looking but I'll answer the question. No I haven't dated any guys and I turned 21 last year, and I'll be 22 this year.
 
I'm pretty much in the same boat. I first dated someone when i was 22 and that lasted a very short while. Since then i haven't dated anyone and I'm 26 now and i don't sleep around at all....so ur not alone there.
 
Hook up sites are a no no for me. I dont want to be promiscious. I almost put it on the same level as prostitution without paying for it.
On my part, im a 20 year old guy, turning 21 in about 8 months, and i have never ever dated anyone. i feel like an eternal virgin at this point, but i do believe that one day, maybe someone right will come for me. I just have to be patient.
And about the looks part, i dont think looks are terribly important. people who have high expectations about their partners are most likely going to end up alone. I used to think that my ideal partner should be hunky and muscular like the models i see in the media. But in high school i actually developed a crush on someone who wasnt anything like guys i dreamed about. I loved his personality, even though he was an asshole at time. He was straight so nothing happened but it just proves my point that looks aint the most important thing.
 
huh...ok I had a boyfriend for 2 months...a guy i see on and off again for a year and a half. I have been on a couple dates. a handful or two of hookups and I have a fuck buddy kind of situtation. Honestly, I like the fuck buddy best of all of them...really...even if i saw no one else ever i would keep the fuck buddy. lol I sometimes wish for a little more but most of the time it doesnt bother me. I am 29 and came out about 3 or 4 years ago. I have a handful of gay friends but most of them are older guys that I wouldnt sleep with but we have a good time drinking and watching hockey and whatnot. (I get invites to other kinds of things but just decline) I have been making friends with younger gay guys too lately and that has been fun too. I get a little wierded out by them using drugs though so i keep a little more distance there.
 
I Think That It All Runs In Confidence . But I Mean Idk This Is A Tricky Subject Because In Being Young Youre Told To Explore You Options But You Dont Wanna Do That. Hook Up Sites Are Dangerous No Matter What Like You Dont Know What Could Happen. So I Just Say Wait For That Right Guy To Come Along.

And About Me Being Darker Skinned I Live In Nyc And Youd Think It Be More Diverse But No Lol But Ive Only Been Out A Month So Ill Just Give It Time
 
I'm 22 and I've had a few relationships. Being out helps. You're looking in the wrong places too. The best way to get dates are friends of friends, at least as far as I know.
 
Young guys think there is no one out there who wants to meet some one and "date" and see if something meaningful will ensue.

We older guys don't think there are any guys out there that want to meet someone and "date" someone and see what ensues.

We are all looking for the same thing.

What a wonderful world...not.
 
Guys, don't despair and blame yourselves.
There is no "magic" date by which we are to have a boy friend.
If you do a good job concealing your homosexuality, naturally you are limiting your chances of hooking up.
I'm not saying you should come screaming out of the closet either. Get involved with Gay clubs or organizations where you have the opportunity of meeting more people.
Respect those who don't want a commitment also. They could be on to something. Dating a few guys without the pressure of a LTR, might help you narrow the parameters of who you're really looking for.
Enjoy your youth, don't let it become a handicap.
But most of all, when you play, play safe.
 
I think it's largely the "not out" part too... I'm guessing not very many guys will go through finding a guy they like, and then guessing, trying their luck, playing games, etc.

I've found that when guys know you're gay they sometimes even act a bit differently with you. One guy I recently got in touch with again (last time we talked was when we were 12), flat out told me he wouldn't be talking to me as much if he didn't know I was gay (which I made rather public)...lol (not that he's "interested", and neither am I, but at least we're talking). Now if a guy WAS interested, it would definitely break down a good number of barriers. Besides, dating in the closet sounds...tough.

I haven't dated (a guy) either though...but then again you were asking the good-looking guys.

Looks really don't play that huge of a role...at least strong relationships are not built on them. A person can go crazy about "virtually anyone", and it's not usually because the person is stereotypically good-looking. With relationships it's not about how great the individuals are, but the chemistry between them. Sometimes two good-looking, intelligent, nice people can only get as far friends, or maybe just a hookup.
 
I'm 22, never dated anyone. I'm not exactly out, but I'm working on it. As a college senior, I want to tell my friends before May. They're great people, and I owe it to them. I really haven't done anything on the dating scene, but I really want to change that. I'm starting to feel lonely. And I have no interest at all in "hooking up."

I really like this gay guy (too much, I'll admit...) that I work with, but alas, he's in a relationship, so he's off limits.
 
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