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Alright so I’m gunna start of by saying that I’m not a very good writer but I got bored one day and decided to start writing.... um here’s the first chapter tell me what you think
The dark, grey skies reflected my own sadness back at me. That feeling had crept its way back in, tearing at my skin, my heart, and my mind. That feeling that I’m drowning, when there’s no water around. That feeling of loneliness. This season was supposed to bring about happiness in everybody: the snow, the lights, and the laughter… the love. Yet, that feeling of happiness avoided me.
I sat in my desk staring out the window, waiting for the bell to ring. Today was the last day I would have to suffer the reminders of my loneliness. As soon as that bell rang I was free to go lie in my bed dreaming of what could be. This bell did not want to ring however, every tick of the clock seemed like an eternity.
“Josh, before the bell rings for vacation, tell us what you want for the holidays.” asked my teacher.
“Um,” I said trying to recollect myself from the dark thoughts that clouded my mind. “A sweatshirt,” I said blandly just trying to get through the little amount of talking I had to do. The truth was I didn’t want a sweatshirt; I wanted someone, and not just any someone, a boyfriend. I wanted a boyfriend for Christmas. The teachers voice trailed off into the background of my mind as I envisioned him, tall, dark, strong, handsome, funny, amazing eyes that I can stare into and know I’m safe, and arms that I can crawl into and feel his heart beat a little faster just because I'm there. I want a man who loves me.
RING!!
Suddenly I was taken out of my reverie, and brought back to my life. I got up numbly and began to walk through the halls. The constant reminder of my pain was brought about each time I saw a couple. The holding hands, the kissing, the love, it was too much to bear. I turned myself off. Every friend that waved hello only received a mechanical wave back, a mere reflex, which held neither meaning nor emotion. Every conversation held between my class and my bus was a robotic instinct. My close friends all knew what was on my mind, and knew to leave me alone, only stopping me to wish me a happy vacation. I drifted through those halls.
“Josh!” I heard my name called from behind me, and turned to see my friend Katie heading towards me.
“Hey Katie.” I tried putting some emotion in it for her, but only managed a dismal amount.
“Listen, I know what’s going on, Kat told me. I want to be happy Josh. You can’t go through your life being depressed like this”. She was my best friend, and I wasn’t about to yell at her, even though the thought came to mind. She would never know this feeling, this feeling of being alone. She has had a person to love, and a person who loves her back. I have never had that. I have tried to, I have searched and searched and come up empty for someone like me.
“I know, but I can’t help how I feel. Everywhere I look there are couples Katie!” my voice rose a little, but I caught myself, and calmed down. “Every fucking place!” I whispered with a force. “I'm sorry Katie, but I have to go get my bus, I’ll text you later”. And with that, I turned without waiting for her response, and headed towards my bus.
The ride home was always long; I lived, basically, in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of New Hampshire. I was surprised they even found a bus for me to take, seeing as how there was nothing but forests and hills that went on for miles that surrounded my house. There it stood the giant log cabin that was my home. It stood with the forest as its backdrop, and was complimented by the snowy blanket that covered the grounds it stood on. Every window was filled with lights and candles and other holiday trinkets, but the main window up front held the Christmas tree. Standing about 6 feet tall, the tree towered over any member of my family, but gave more of a Christmas feeling than the lights. The porch surrounding the house was covered with the remains of fallen icicles, and a light powder of snow only disrupted by the footsteps left by my parents. I walked from the road, up the stone walkway and into my house. I opened the door, and the warmth felt good on my skin, and raised my spirits a little. I dropped my bag on a chair, and went right for the fridge. I grabbed a soda, and was about to go head up into my room when my mother stopped me.
“How was school?”
“Good.”
“Just good, what happened? What’d you do? Tell me about your day”
“It was just good ma, nothing happened, it was the last day before vaca, so it was long.” I replied. She gave up, realizing she wouldn’t get more of answer out of my by asking more questions. I walked through the kitchen, and into living room. The fireplace was lit, and the stone chimney rising up the wall, separating the colossal front window into two. As I walked by, I stole a glance out the window and saw the mountains, undisturbed and covered with a layer of snow. The forest split where my house was built, so the window gave an unbroken picture of the mountain range. I walked to the stairs and slowly made my way up to my room. I turned down the hall, and entered my room. The shades were open, allowing light in, so I didn’t turn on my lamp. I jumped into bed, and just lay there. Thinking. Wondering. What if…
“DINNER!!!”, I awoke with a start. I must’ve fallen asleep. I got up slowly, and walked over to my desk where my mirror stood. I looked at myself, and tried to fix my bed head. I looked at my dark hair that was down to my eyes, and moved it this way and that, trying to get something that looked good. I failed. I gave up on my hair and walked downstairs. While I was sleeping, my dad must have come home because there was actually food on the table that smelt good. My mother hated cooking; the only things she knew how to make were chicken cutlets and brownies. I only enjoyed the later of the two. I sat down at the long mahogany table that blended so perfectly with the log cabin that you’d have thought that it was built into it. My father, a “short, fat, Italian man” as he would say, sat at the head of the table, with my mother at his right. Her olive complexion and long black hair gave the impression that she was from some South American country, when she was really Mediterranean. I sat to his left. I was short, like my parents. Standing at about five foot four, I and my parents looked too small for the large area this house provided. I had dark hair like my mother, but I had muscles like my father. I wasn’t exactly built, but I had muscles that stood out through my shirt, and didn’t look disgusting. People told me I was good looking, but I never really agreed with them.
“So, what’d you do today?” asked my father. He didn’t know that I had just gone through this with Mom.
“It was good.” My mother looked at me, silently telling me to actually talk about my day. “Um in Chemistry we messed with some fire today, that was pretty cool.”
“Oh what chemicals did you use?” he asked. I trailed on talking about chemistry. I loved science, and that was one thing I would actually talk about.
Dinner ended slowly. I cleaned up the table, and then went to the living room to see what was on TV. I flipped through the channels looking for something, and found only Christmas shows. Great only a bunch of happy endings that would never actually happen. I handed the remote to my mother who put on one of those shows, and then resumed her knitting. I remembered that I had told Katie I would text her, and decided to do so. I wrote, “Hey kt sry ive been acting this way it’s just all this shit is really getting to me and it’s not even like I have any say in it. It just happens. Sry again” and hit sent.
I sat on the couch, looking out the main window at the mountains, saying to myself, “Josh there’s someone out there for you. Just you wait; they’re searching for you too.” I had to think positive; it would get me through the night, and hopefully into the morning. CHRISTMAS! Christmas Eve was tomorrow. I had totally forgot, thankfully I had made sure I bought my parents presents beforehand. I resigned to watching the Christmas movie on the television.
“You know Timmy,” the mother said to her son on the television. “When you wish upon a star, Santa can hear you. So go ahead wish for anything you want and maybe, just maybe. If you want it bad enough. Santa will bring it to you for Christmas.”
“What a bunch of bull” I thought to myself. “Wishing never really works, it’s all just wind, empty wind that nobody but you hears.” I kept watching, and as I had predicted the child’s wish came true at the end.
Sick of the overdone cheerfulness, I walked out onto the porch and just stood there staring at the moon. Its light lit up the entire mountain range, it was beautiful. I was looking up, wondering why I had to be alone. Why I was chosen to live like this, while all my friends got their boyfriends and happiness? I wanted a boyfriend more than anything in the world.
“I wish I had a boyfriend.” I whispered. BOOM! I ran back in the house to see if everyone was ok. I didn’t know where the noise came from, but I knew it came from the other side of the house. My mom and dad said they were fine, and that they didn’t know where that noise came from.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
Chapter 1
The dark, grey skies reflected my own sadness back at me. That feeling had crept its way back in, tearing at my skin, my heart, and my mind. That feeling that I’m drowning, when there’s no water around. That feeling of loneliness. This season was supposed to bring about happiness in everybody: the snow, the lights, and the laughter… the love. Yet, that feeling of happiness avoided me.
I sat in my desk staring out the window, waiting for the bell to ring. Today was the last day I would have to suffer the reminders of my loneliness. As soon as that bell rang I was free to go lie in my bed dreaming of what could be. This bell did not want to ring however, every tick of the clock seemed like an eternity.
“Josh, before the bell rings for vacation, tell us what you want for the holidays.” asked my teacher.
“Um,” I said trying to recollect myself from the dark thoughts that clouded my mind. “A sweatshirt,” I said blandly just trying to get through the little amount of talking I had to do. The truth was I didn’t want a sweatshirt; I wanted someone, and not just any someone, a boyfriend. I wanted a boyfriend for Christmas. The teachers voice trailed off into the background of my mind as I envisioned him, tall, dark, strong, handsome, funny, amazing eyes that I can stare into and know I’m safe, and arms that I can crawl into and feel his heart beat a little faster just because I'm there. I want a man who loves me.
RING!!
Suddenly I was taken out of my reverie, and brought back to my life. I got up numbly and began to walk through the halls. The constant reminder of my pain was brought about each time I saw a couple. The holding hands, the kissing, the love, it was too much to bear. I turned myself off. Every friend that waved hello only received a mechanical wave back, a mere reflex, which held neither meaning nor emotion. Every conversation held between my class and my bus was a robotic instinct. My close friends all knew what was on my mind, and knew to leave me alone, only stopping me to wish me a happy vacation. I drifted through those halls.
“Josh!” I heard my name called from behind me, and turned to see my friend Katie heading towards me.
“Hey Katie.” I tried putting some emotion in it for her, but only managed a dismal amount.
“Listen, I know what’s going on, Kat told me. I want to be happy Josh. You can’t go through your life being depressed like this”. She was my best friend, and I wasn’t about to yell at her, even though the thought came to mind. She would never know this feeling, this feeling of being alone. She has had a person to love, and a person who loves her back. I have never had that. I have tried to, I have searched and searched and come up empty for someone like me.
“I know, but I can’t help how I feel. Everywhere I look there are couples Katie!” my voice rose a little, but I caught myself, and calmed down. “Every fucking place!” I whispered with a force. “I'm sorry Katie, but I have to go get my bus, I’ll text you later”. And with that, I turned without waiting for her response, and headed towards my bus.
The ride home was always long; I lived, basically, in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of New Hampshire. I was surprised they even found a bus for me to take, seeing as how there was nothing but forests and hills that went on for miles that surrounded my house. There it stood the giant log cabin that was my home. It stood with the forest as its backdrop, and was complimented by the snowy blanket that covered the grounds it stood on. Every window was filled with lights and candles and other holiday trinkets, but the main window up front held the Christmas tree. Standing about 6 feet tall, the tree towered over any member of my family, but gave more of a Christmas feeling than the lights. The porch surrounding the house was covered with the remains of fallen icicles, and a light powder of snow only disrupted by the footsteps left by my parents. I walked from the road, up the stone walkway and into my house. I opened the door, and the warmth felt good on my skin, and raised my spirits a little. I dropped my bag on a chair, and went right for the fridge. I grabbed a soda, and was about to go head up into my room when my mother stopped me.
“How was school?”
“Good.”
“Just good, what happened? What’d you do? Tell me about your day”
“It was just good ma, nothing happened, it was the last day before vaca, so it was long.” I replied. She gave up, realizing she wouldn’t get more of answer out of my by asking more questions. I walked through the kitchen, and into living room. The fireplace was lit, and the stone chimney rising up the wall, separating the colossal front window into two. As I walked by, I stole a glance out the window and saw the mountains, undisturbed and covered with a layer of snow. The forest split where my house was built, so the window gave an unbroken picture of the mountain range. I walked to the stairs and slowly made my way up to my room. I turned down the hall, and entered my room. The shades were open, allowing light in, so I didn’t turn on my lamp. I jumped into bed, and just lay there. Thinking. Wondering. What if…
“DINNER!!!”, I awoke with a start. I must’ve fallen asleep. I got up slowly, and walked over to my desk where my mirror stood. I looked at myself, and tried to fix my bed head. I looked at my dark hair that was down to my eyes, and moved it this way and that, trying to get something that looked good. I failed. I gave up on my hair and walked downstairs. While I was sleeping, my dad must have come home because there was actually food on the table that smelt good. My mother hated cooking; the only things she knew how to make were chicken cutlets and brownies. I only enjoyed the later of the two. I sat down at the long mahogany table that blended so perfectly with the log cabin that you’d have thought that it was built into it. My father, a “short, fat, Italian man” as he would say, sat at the head of the table, with my mother at his right. Her olive complexion and long black hair gave the impression that she was from some South American country, when she was really Mediterranean. I sat to his left. I was short, like my parents. Standing at about five foot four, I and my parents looked too small for the large area this house provided. I had dark hair like my mother, but I had muscles like my father. I wasn’t exactly built, but I had muscles that stood out through my shirt, and didn’t look disgusting. People told me I was good looking, but I never really agreed with them.
“So, what’d you do today?” asked my father. He didn’t know that I had just gone through this with Mom.
“It was good.” My mother looked at me, silently telling me to actually talk about my day. “Um in Chemistry we messed with some fire today, that was pretty cool.”
“Oh what chemicals did you use?” he asked. I trailed on talking about chemistry. I loved science, and that was one thing I would actually talk about.
Dinner ended slowly. I cleaned up the table, and then went to the living room to see what was on TV. I flipped through the channels looking for something, and found only Christmas shows. Great only a bunch of happy endings that would never actually happen. I handed the remote to my mother who put on one of those shows, and then resumed her knitting. I remembered that I had told Katie I would text her, and decided to do so. I wrote, “Hey kt sry ive been acting this way it’s just all this shit is really getting to me and it’s not even like I have any say in it. It just happens. Sry again” and hit sent.
I sat on the couch, looking out the main window at the mountains, saying to myself, “Josh there’s someone out there for you. Just you wait; they’re searching for you too.” I had to think positive; it would get me through the night, and hopefully into the morning. CHRISTMAS! Christmas Eve was tomorrow. I had totally forgot, thankfully I had made sure I bought my parents presents beforehand. I resigned to watching the Christmas movie on the television.
“You know Timmy,” the mother said to her son on the television. “When you wish upon a star, Santa can hear you. So go ahead wish for anything you want and maybe, just maybe. If you want it bad enough. Santa will bring it to you for Christmas.”
“What a bunch of bull” I thought to myself. “Wishing never really works, it’s all just wind, empty wind that nobody but you hears.” I kept watching, and as I had predicted the child’s wish came true at the end.
Sick of the overdone cheerfulness, I walked out onto the porch and just stood there staring at the moon. Its light lit up the entire mountain range, it was beautiful. I was looking up, wondering why I had to be alone. Why I was chosen to live like this, while all my friends got their boyfriends and happiness? I wanted a boyfriend more than anything in the world.
“I wish I had a boyfriend.” I whispered. BOOM! I ran back in the house to see if everyone was ok. I didn’t know where the noise came from, but I knew it came from the other side of the house. My mom and dad said they were fine, and that they didn’t know where that noise came from.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
Nice story
