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A little confused here..

thepinacoladawolf

thepinacoladawolf

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Lemme put some background into this before I explain the current situation.

In short, I fell in love with my room mate, he knew it and basically told me to my face that he would never be mine. However, he would allow me to be his friend, with benefits of course. We have been living together for a couple years now, and he's said time after time that he would never be 'mine', and that being intimate was out of the question.

We've basically done everything there is to do in a basic "FWB" situation, which was just fine, and I'd gotten used to the idea of casual sex between me and him, and it pretty much was normal behavior between us.... until last night.

Pretty much most of the day he'd been flirty with me, saying nice things about my body being nicer than the other room mate's, that he'd much rather touch me than the other guy, so on and so forth.

Later on that night we sat out in the living room, I was watching him play xbox. He kept pausing the game to take time to rub my inner thigh, pressing his fingers into my chest and abs, then we retired to my bedroom where the usual bs went on, then he didnt stop, he went to try to get me off a 2nd time (not a usual habit of his)... and he got really close before he pressed me against the bed... our lips touched for just a second and i forced him away saying "thats too much.... very unexpected..."

This was literally the first time I'd ever made contact with a male in that way. Sure, I had sucked his cock a bajillion times but I had never kissed him and it wasn't like I forced myself onto him. He went for me, and I was completely shocked, but we continued the 'session' and the fun was had for the night.

I can't stop thinking about this. Anyone have anything like this happen to them?

I am confused as all hell right now :(
 
thepinacoladawolf said:
Lemme put some background into this before I explain the current situation.

In short, I fell in love with my room mate, he knew it and basically told me to my face that he would never be mine. However, he would allow me to be his friend, with benefits of course. We have been living together for a couple years now, and he's said time after time that he would never be 'mine', and that being intimate was out of the question.

We've basically done everything there is to do in a basic "FWB" situation, which was just fine, and I'd gotten used to the idea of casual sex between me and him, and it pretty much was normal behavior between us.... until last night.

Pretty much most of the day he'd been flirty with me, saying nice things about my body being nicer than the other room mate's, that he'd much rather touch me than the other guy, so on and so forth.

Later on that night we sat out in the living room, I was watching him play xbox. He kept pausing the game to take time to rub my inner thigh, pressing his fingers into my chest and abs, then we retired to my bedroom where the usual bs went on, then he didnt stop, he went to try to get me off a 2nd time (not a usual habit of his)... and he got really close before he pressed me against the bed... our lips touched for just a second and i forced him away saying "thats too much.... very unexpected..."

This was literally the first time I'd ever made contact with a male in that way. Sure, I had sucked his cock a bajillion times but I had never kissed him and it wasn't like I forced myself onto him. He went for me, and I was completely shocked, but we continued the 'session' and the fun was had for the night.

I can't stop thinking about this. Anyone have anything like this happen to them?

I am confused as all hell right now :(
Click to expand...

Does he claim to be straight?
 
Hmm. It tough to say, given his propensity to change his mood and desires at will.

How did he react when you pulled away?

Why did you pull away? Forgive me, but you've fallen for him, yet shy away from intimacy? I don't get it.
 
Actually now I'm confused...you said you loved him, it sounds like you finally won him over, and then you rejected him. Do you not love him anymore and just want to maintain the FWB scenario? Sounds like you have it pretty good either way...
 
What do you really want to happen? Have him as a romantic partner? Or, have you written that idea off? I guess I'm confused.

Anyhow, one of two things likely happened: He reconsidered and has fallen for you, despite his original intensions (hell, it happens)--and this was his way of telling you; or, two, he was super-horny and you looked more and more attractive as the day went on.

Either way, it's time for a heart-to-heart with Mr. Hormones there. But, first, decide what you want to happen--have him, or have him as a FWB. Then, stick to what you want.

Good luck. This gets more and more interesting with you and him. Keep us up to date on what happens, OK?
 
PCW, love sometimes sneaks up on you when you least expect it. You've had "benefits" with this guy for two years. While he won't admit it to you, he's got to be feeling something for you that goes beyond platonic friendship. And you know what you feel for him.

If it's there, don't deny yourself the feelings you are longing for. But if it isn't there, then you have to decide if just having "benefits" is how you want it to remain.
 
I really don't know why I pushed him away.. it just caught me off guard.. it only lasted for a second and something inside me said "NO" and pushed him away. I couldn't exactly see his face because my vision is bad without my glasses, and the lights were off in my room at the time, but there was a faint green glow because of my computer's power light. All he said was "what?", I turned my face away and said "..could we hold off on that for a bit?", he said "ok" then we continued about our horny wolf ways.
 
Well if you liked him, I think you should kiss him back.

FWB are tricky though. You might be in for something real this time around.
 
thepinacoladawolf said:
I really don't know why I pushed him away.. it just caught me off guard.. it only lasted for a second and something inside me said "NO" and pushed him away.
Click to expand...

I've been in that situation many times...reflexes can be so frustrating dammit! Once this HAWT straight guy kept trying to hug me, and I kept pushing him away despite the fact that I was crazy about him. Later I was like, what?! Brains are weird.

So, how do YOU feel about a romantic relationship? It sounds to me like if you want one, you've got one.
 
First things first, you need to ask yourself honestly what it is that you want out of this guy - just a fuck buddy or a romantic partner?!

Good things tend to come when you least expect it so......this just might be IT!
 
You've never actually kissed a guy?????
 
So, what are your thoughts? Are you willing to let your guard down, and share something intimate?
 
Well, I'm not sure what I want to do. I guess if he does try it again I'll go with it as long as it can last, and see what develops from there. He's been rather affectionate towards since that night though... so I'm thinking that something's changed within him, but I'm not making any promises because I'll just be let down again if I am wrong.
 
Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

Who knows; I certainly don't.

I have learned, that keeping yourself closed in fear of hurt, hurts more.

I've been hurt before. But the sweet wouldn't be as sweet, without the sour. Know what I mean?
 
Just let him know what's up. Tell him about your feelings and if he doesn't feel the same way then he needs to back off with the flirting and especially the kissing.

I've had the same feelings about my roommate (without the benefits that you have) and when he does something that's remotely nice I like to think of it as flirting. I've just had to distance myself from him that way our contact is cut down and there is less chance for disappointment when I misread one of his "signals".

Good luck and keep us undated.
 
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