A little sexuality venting

[iResolve]

Hey guys. I'm new here (had an account for a little while but have never posted and prior to that I was a non-account lurker). Not even completely sure this is the correct place for this thread, but it seemed like the best fit.

I'm using my first ever post to kinda vent my sexuality to what I hope will be a receptive community. I've never gotten the opportunity to actually discuss my sexuality and sexual preferences with anyone before but it's long overdue and I need to know how weird or unusual my sexual preferences are, so please bear with me a bit. This is the first time ever I'm going into details about my feelings with anyone.

I'm a young guy in my early 20s who has been having penetrative sex since a relatively young age. I'm bisexual but would say I slightly prefer men. If I were to put a spectrum on it as some people do, maybe 60% gay, 40% straight. I have a strong sex drive and am attracted to the bodies of both sexes. I have however only had sex with men a few times with the vast majority of my experiences being with women. Part of the reason for this is one of the biggest reasons I've made this thread: I have very little interest in penetrative sex with another guy. Like it just doesn't appeal to me very much (although it does a bit) and I don't enjoy it much either. Vaginal sex, on the other hand, I find very appealing and enjoy a lot. This is of course within the context of being more attracted to the male form and characteristics than the form and characteristics of females.

I don't watch porn super often but I do semi-regularly. I like straight porn the most and the most important part of it for me is the characteristics of the male (so I spend most of the time paying attention to the guy, but also a lot of time paying attention to the female). Gay and lesbian porn are lower down on my preferences, but talking about gay porn for a second... Of course I like super hot guys and when guys interact with each other sexually and I'm very turned on by it. Male on male blowjobs are also appealing to me, but when it comes to male on male anal penetration I just don't enjoy it too much. I seriously sometimes just replay beginning sections of videos because I like the actors but don't like watching them have anal. This annoys me a lot but it's how I am. It's also annoying because males in gay porn tend to be more attractive to me sometimes...

So yeah that's pretty much it. How weird am I really? Are my concerns/confusion understandable? Thanks for reading.

 

[eastofeden]

Everyone is different and what turns them on is unique to each guy...so no...you aren't weird....

In my opinion....you should embrace who you are and not worry much about who you aren't...

...and remember...sometimes things change along the way...or evolve...so what you like today might change as you travel the road..

Personally..I have no interest in oral at all...giving or receiving...and I am completely cool with it. I found guys who were also OK with it. It doesn't gross me out or anything like that....just bores me...

 

[TX-Beau]

Ditto,

Plus sometimes things in your head can get in the way of attraction, I started out with no interest in guys who were effeminate. That was completely tied to my level of internalized homophobia. Several years of progress later that is completely gone. Same thing with ethnicity, born a redneck, had all those rednecky attitudes, didn't want guys who weren't just like me, now I'm forever tied to a Latino.

Thank god I got over it. People change, what they like changes, it happens.

Then sometimes they don't. I don't like to bottom, it does nothing for me, and when I do, it's only to please the other guy. That never changed. Sometimes I find straight porn hot, because of the guy of course, and I don' squick out over the sight of a cooter. Dated women when I was closeted so I'm familiar with the snatch. Was perfectly functional, but I'm still like 120% on the gay scale.


There are a lot of factors that go into sexual attraction, it certainly isn't immutable. Some things you'll find are fluid, sometimes you are meeting some transitory emotional need, sometimes you have a "type," sometimes it's just not you.

Don't sweat it, have a good time, be careful of others emotions, let yourself evolve, and you'll be fine.

 

[checkinthingsout]

Hey guys. I'm new here (had an account for a little while but have never posted and prior to that I was a non-account lurker). Not even completely sure this is the correct place for this thread, but it seemed like the best fit.

I'm using my first ever post to kinda vent my sexuality to what I hope will be a receptive community. I've never gotten the opportunity to actually discuss my sexuality and sexual preferences with anyone before but it's long overdue and I need to know how weird or unusual my sexual preferences are, so please bear with me a bit. This is the first time ever I'm going into details about my feelings with anyone.

I'm a young guy in my early 20s who has been having penetrative sex since a relatively young age. I'm bisexual but would say I slightly prefer men. If I were to put a spectrum on it as some people do, maybe 60% gay, 40% straight. I have a strong sex drive and am attracted to the bodies of both sexes. I have however only had sex with men a few times with the vast majority of my experiences being with women. Part of the reason for this is one of the biggest reasons I've made this thread: I have very little interest in penetrative sex with another guy. Like it just doesn't appeal to me very much (although it does a bit) and I don't enjoy it much either. Vaginal sex, on the other hand, I find very appealing and enjoy a lot. This is of course within the context of being more attracted to the male form and characteristics than the form and characteristics of females.

I don't watch porn super often but I do semi-regularly. I like straight porn the most and the most important part of it for me is the characteristics of the male (so I spend most of the time paying attention to the guy, but also a lot of time paying attention to the female). Gay and lesbian porn are lower down on my preferences, but talking about gay porn for a second... Of course I like super hot guys and when guys interact with each other sexually and I'm very turned on by it. Male on male blowjobs are also appealing to me, but when it comes to male on male anal penetration I just don't enjoy it too much. I seriously sometimes just replay beginning sections of videos because I like the actors but don't like watching them have anal. This annoys me a lot but it's how I am. It's also annoying because males in gay porn tend to be more attractive to me sometimes...

So yeah that's pretty much it. How weird am I really? Are my concerns/confusion understandable? Thanks for reading.

Are you out and open about your sexuality? I also suspect that this is tied to internalized homophobia, which others have mentioned. If this is the case, it could time for you to cross that mental barrier of seeing penetrative sex as "sexy". I know when I first was with guys (~21) I was not at all interested in penetrative sex, but the more comfortable I became with myself, the more comfortable I was to exploring it.

 

[Seasoned]

Taking life a day at a time without having everything set in stone is a very good way to live.

That's pretty much the gist of all the advice you've gotten so far.

You're fine just as you are, but always remain open to change.

On a sexual note, my husband and I are mostly oral.

It takes all of us to make the world go around.

 

[iResolve]

Thanks for the comments guys, it's been great reading them and really helpful.

Yes I am open about my sexuality. There's really no problem for me making my bisexuality known whenever it comes up. In other words, it's not something I hide. Actually I've had two early but promising romantic relationships with women go downhill after telling them. I'm honestly very comfortable with my sexuality and wouldn't change it even if given the chance. I've previously thought that maybe my aversion to male-on-male anal was truly a result of internalized homophobia but kinda dismissed that thought after trying to hardest to feel differently about the act (maybe not the most sensible way to try dealing with the situation). After reading your replies I think I'll probably revisit the internalized homophobia theory but try dealing with it in a more "organic" way. Don't think my opinion on male penetration will ever change, but who knows?

Thanks again for the replies!

 

[KaraBulut]

...I'm a young guy in my early 20s ...I'm bisexual but would say I slightly prefer men. ...Male on male blowjobs are also appealing to me, but when it comes to male on male anal penetration I just don't enjoy it too much. I seriously sometimes just replay beginning sections of videos because I like the actors but don't like watching them have anal. This annoys me a lot but it's how I am. It's also annoying because males in gay porn tend to be more attractive to me sometimes...

So yeah that's pretty much it. How weird am I really? Are my concerns/confusion understandable? Thanks for reading.

Not weird. You have a bit of a fetish but there are plenty of gay men who also prefer oral sex, even in long-term relationships.

You're open about attractions to both men and women and as long as you are comfortable with that, there's no problem there.

One thing that is missing from your discussion is dating and relationships. When you're young, it's more about sex and exploration. But as you get older, dating and intimacy should become more important.

So, outside of attraction, porn and experimenting, have you given any thoughts to relationships/dating... particularly dating a guy?

...Actually I've had two early but promising romantic relationships with women go downhill after telling them. I'm honestly very comfortable with my sexuality and wouldn't change it even if given the chance.

Even though society has become more accepting of same-sex relationships, bisexuality is not understood or even considered. And some women are threatened by the idea that they might be competing (and failing) against a guy for your interest.

If your interest is in someone who is accepting of your varied interest, you might want to consider dating other bisexuals- either women who are open to sex with women or a guy like you who is open to sex with women.