A view from a camel

[rareboy]

Well mes enfants,

For my partner's birthday this year, we're off to Morocco for the next month. And yes, it includes a trip into the desert by camel, hence the title.

We have been together for 27 years and he was my 2nd ltr. My first partner is still our dearest friend and is coming out to stay in the country while we're away.

I love to be able to tell you all that we are a very happy pair. We have been out from the beginning and my entire extended family, including the Jehovah's Witnesses and jocks all accept and love us both. We are also out in our rural community and have never had any homophobic backlash. In fact. The contrary.

So for all of you guys who fret about the possibilities of being happy and out and in a relationship, I assure you, it is not as difficult as it may seem. Although, living in the right country certainly does help. But, without bragging, we are part of the reason that our country is so accepting. We were there to do the heavy lifting so that all the gay guys to come wouldn't have to live in the closet, or feel that they are second class citizens in their society.

I doubt if I'll have much time for JUB or this forum while we're away and have many projects that will take me on the road when we return.

So, dear friends, here's the thing.

The only reason that my advice is so blunt for many posters here is that I think people can do better. And that you deserve more than squishy, soporific platitudes masquerading as advice that are always aimed at constantly validating your ego and oftentimes, the kind of behaviour or bad decision making that has led you to post in the first place. Read all my posts here. The people who are truly hurting or in trouble have had my ear and sympathy, while those who are posting only in order to serialize the faux drama in life, have actually had some of my best advice in order to hopefully help them become the independent, emotionally healthy guys that I know they could be if everyone stopped treating them like spoiled children and giving them a pass every time they fail.

It has been suggested in the past that my responses to threads may alienate users from this forum.

I would like to think that as many guys have respected the fact that I will give anyone an unvarnished and honest opinion of the situation as I see it. I have no interest in seeing people agonizing over a problem with relationships for days or weeks or months as many readers of this forum have seemed to in the past as they eagerly anticipated the next exciting chapter. I would prefer that guys deal with and solve their problems early and then realize that they don't need the constant stroking in a porn board relationships forum. But I do realize that some people really enjoy the protracted agonies of relationship issues and feeding off the pain of others.

So, I'm sure that there are a few drama queens and Tallguy breathing a sigh of relief today.

I only hope that along the way, some have benefited from my experience and perspective and that it has kick-started some guys to realize they can be more mature, more in control and more confident of their place in the world.

So. Remember that I loved you all.

Adieu.

 

[tallguy297]

By God RB, for someone so obviously intelligent, someone whom I actually admire and respect and someone who has so much to offer you can be a complete dill.

I seriously hope when you said "adieu" that you only refer to the length of your holidays. No one here, least of all me, want to see you leave.

Yes, seeing as you have made this public, I have had concerns of late with your desire to get others to see your point of view... and only your point of view.

For some reason of late your wisdom came with venom. Your advice was tinged with sarcasm and your desire to see everyone do better and be better became a demand not a wish.

You are a valuable contributor RB, no one denies that.

But as someone who resents the drama queens and attention seekers, of late you have managed to make so much of this about you. Intentional or not, thats whats happened here.

You are an inspiration and your advice has helped so many. Your value here is unquestioned.

My fervent hope mate is that you take some time, enjoy the life you have, that you've worked at and for, the one you richly deserve, and come back to us the guy you were not that long ago. The guy we miss... badly.

Till then, Adieu. Safe travels RB.

 

[KaraBulut]

Have a fun vacation.

Mangez beaucoup! أكل الكثير

 

[Lube]

I, too, hope this is not a permanent adieu.

I've always found your posts to be acerbic and funny.

But lately it's been mostly acerbic, without the funny. To the point I wondered if maybe there was something going on in your life.

Here's wishing you the best, and a return to JUB when the vacation and business are over.

 

[G-Lexington]

I see such behavior over at the sister site from time to time. Usually from teenagers who have finally found their voice, and decided upon the "keeping it real" persona. The kind that don't hesitate to tell you your shirt is ugly, your friends are losers, and everybody knows you're a fag. Hey, just keeping it real. And if you have problems with that, it's because you have problems handling the truth. They think they're being "refreshing", but the air they add to a room rarely is the fresh air of an honest perspective, but the air that one typically can expect from an asshole.

For "asshole" is what they are.

RB, you don't oft cross that line between stating honest truth and just being an asshole. You hang out nearby it, and you quite often brush up against it. I've oft said that "rareboy is bad cop to my good cop". We tend to present fairly similar viewpoints on many problems here in CO&R. Your posts tend to be a bit rough and to the point, mine a bit more polite (if sardonic). I figure the OP will choose which one to follow. They may need someone a bit more caring to heed, or perhaps they need the kick in the ass to get up and do what they should. Either way, it's all good.

But yes, like others, I've noticed you drifting over the line as of late. And it's just not a matter of "being rude" or 'keeping it real". The fact is that nobody likes listening to assholes. It doesn't matter how wise or sound the advice is - if it's coming from Chris Crocker, Paris Hilton, or anybody else you think is an asshole, you're not going to listen to it. If anything, you'll think "he's just an asshole, he doesn't know what he's talking about" and head off in the opposite direction. You have to trust the source.

That doesn't mean sugar-coating all the time. I'd like to think I don't put on the kid gloves before responding. But I do try to remember that being right (or even helpful) isn't sufficient if the advice isn't going to be listened, let alone heeded. And I don't always succeed in that. Sometimes the smartass side of the gargoyle takes over, or I'm more proud of crafting a smartass response than of actually contributing anything useful. But it's something I try to work on.

I do think you're a valuable asset to JUB in general, and CO&R in particular. And if you want to take the opportunity of your vacation to bow out gracefully, I understand. But you'll be missed.

Lex

 

[Lube]

The kind that don't hesitate to tell you [that] everybody knows you're a fag.

Hey, that's my line!

 

[hubbellgardner]

Interesting thread. For ages I was your biggest fan
rareboy, delighting not only in your erudition but your
ability to pen cogent and helpful entries by the ream.
Then more recently I'd click onto a rareboy offering and
wonder who crapped in your cornflakes.... Nonetheless,
just wanted to join the throng who are expressing the
sincere hope that this is not a final goodbye. You bring a
great deal to the party, sir.. and that's all too often rare. Hope your Moroccan idyll slakes your thirst and results in dissipating whatever has been fuelling your recent penchant for snark.. hope you return. Cheers.