Absurd Claims of "Straightness"

[Críostóir]

OK, we're all familiar with the porn-star claims to be straight, because the porn companies play on our internalized homophobia, and we're all supposed to want to have sex with straight guys as some sort of conquest, revenge for high school, yadda yadda. And we all know the Sean Cody models who claim(ed) that they're straight, but sure do like to be fucked in the ass.

But sometimes the claim itself, the actual words, is absurd on its face. Found a guy on Xtube whose self-description reads like this:

I"m straight but i like to fuck with guys just for the sex. Because the sex is awsome nothing more nothing less

Got that? He's straight but finds gay sex "awesome." Not "good enough if there are no girls available." Not "I just do it for the money." He finds it hot. But he's straight.

I think this is probably a symptom of bisexual erasure. He can't say he's bi because that's not a category he's even aware of.

In case you're wondering why I care, here's a still from one of his videos:

That's the top there who's "elgordo93," confusing as that is (the other guy is the chubby one). If you watch the video (here's his profile), you can see that that ass is quite shapely, and solid muscle. (Why, I reiterate my perennial cry, do tops have the best asses?) I watch his ass while he's fucking and wish I could sneak up behind him...

He does all the "I'm really straight" things we're familiar with from 80s porn: not touching his partner except with his dick (mostly), looking at something offscreen that we're meant to take for straight porn, and so on. His dick is ROCK HARD the whole time.

To be fair, his self-description section is titled "ignorance is bliss," so the whole thing may be tongue-in-cheek. He seems a little young for that kind of subtlety, pace the younger set.

What absurd claims of straightness have you seen? (Naked pictures of hot "straight" guys, especially with muscley asses, a plus but not required.)

 

[CupidBoy]

Oh buddy, if only you knew....

All I can say is "straight" guys in our community are the worse scum of all, especially the ones with girlfriends. Vile, sick, and disgusting.

 

[Críostóir]

Oh buddy, if only you knew....

All I can say is "straight" guys in our community are the worse scum of all, especially the ones with girlfriends. Vile, sick, and disgusting.

Do you mean where you live, JUB, or the gay community generally? (And I agree. Back in the days of AOL chatrooms* I got lots of guys who wanted me to come over and fuck them while their wives were out. I asked if the wives knew, and that pretty much ended the conversation.)

*dating myself**
**beats sitting at home

 

[dralockhart]

Oh look! Someone who gets internalized homophobia and bisexual erasure. It's like coming across a unicorn.

Do you mean what claims of straightness have we come across in porn or in real life? I don't think I could articulate anything better than you, or even that different. I've known a couple guys in real life who did porn. Both claimed to be straight. In real life, I don't know how anyone could mistake them for straight, given the stereotypes they seem to affirm.

I have a sordid history with straight "ish" boys. One guy in particular keeps telling me he likes to cuddle with other men and wants me to send him naked selfies, yet he says he wants to get married to a woman and have kids. But never mentions women he finds attractive or is involved with and admitted he wasn't really sure how a vagina worked.

Um.

 

[Críostóir]

By the way, elgordo93's profile's "About my partner" section says he's Looking For: Male. Not male and female. He's not even LOOKING for girls/women to have sex with.

But he's straight, oh yes precious.

 

[CupidBoy]

Do you mean where you live, JUB, or the gay community generally? (And I agree. Back in the days of AOL chatrooms* I got lots of guys who wanted me to come over and fuck them while their wives were out. I asked if the wives knew, and that pretty much ended the conversation.)

*dating myself**
**beats sitting at home

JUB and in real life. There are nothing but straight guys with girlfriends on grindr in my area. They are the biggest cowards of all, truly in my opinion they are the worst type of guys in our community.

 

[Críostóir]

Oh look! Someone who gets internalized homophobia and bisexual erasure. It's like coming across a unicorn.

I'm afraid I'm not actually a unicorn. The difference between a unicorn and me is, a unicorn has a horn on the end of its head...

And yes, indeed I do. I hang out (online and in real life) with some very politically-thoughtful people. And I know some bisexuals who would swat me the hell down if I tried to pretend they don't exist!

I even get trans erasure. I have one Twitter friend who identifies as ungendered, picked a gender-neutral name, and prefers the pronoun 'they'. Does that automatically make their boyfriend, who is a butch top, bisexual? Or what?

We must be friends, you and I. Shall we?

Do you mean what claims of straightness have we come across in porn or in real life?

Either. Both. Whatever. Let's have a conversation. Perhaps some of the young guys who are believing all the bullshit about "one touch of a hard dick and you're queer queer queer no matter how much you still like girls" will read it and think. Or join in and object. It's all good.

I don't think I could articulate anything better than you, or even that different. I've known a couple guys in real life who did porn. Both claimed to be straight. In real life, I don't know how anyone could mistake them for straight, given the stereotypes they seem to affirm.

Of course, there ARE straight guys who are quite fem. The stereotypes are just that. But I hear you, and I know the kind of guy you mean.

I have a sordid history with straight "ish" boys. One guy in particular keeps telling me he likes to cuddle with other men and wants me to send him naked selfies, yet he says he wants to get married to a woman and have kids. But never mentions women he finds attractive or is involved with and admitted he wasn't really sure how a vagina worked.

Um.

Sounds like a guy I messed around with in high school. The "have children" imperative is stamped on people very young. Is he Roman Catholic, by any chance? I've seen that a lot among RCs.

 

[Críostóir]

JUB and in real life. There are nothing but straight guys with girlfriends on grindr in my area. They are the biggest cowards of all, truly in my opinion they are the worst type of guys in our community.

Soooo tempting to say "hey, want to invite your girlfriend to watch me fuck your ass? Maybe it'll give her ideas!"

But I am, as is well known, evoll.

 

[Críostóir]

And elgordo93 also thinks he's blond (actually he says 'blonde', but don'tgetmestarted). I guess he could have bleached his hair since those videos were made. He's no more blond than he is straight.

 

[PhunkSpunk]

Having scene the social networking pages of several 'gay4pay' models, I was disappointed to discover that most of them seemed straight as advertised. Their 'favorites' are things like sports teams, hip hop groups or metal bands, not Madonna or Gaga, "Project Runway", "Glee" etc., their friends equally male and female and also pretty straight.

This disagreeable intelligence made me moderate my earlier view that a truly straight guy would never suck a dick, and, more generally, about what people would do if the price was right. I'll go even further and suggest that if a gay4pay model does it enough he can enjoy the physical sensations associated with the various acts while detaching himself from his partner. For the most part, these guys aren't overly burdened with self-awareness and insight: their left and right hands are independent contractors.

Kissing may be the truest Litmus test: models don't hold back, open their mouths and offer their tongues are far more likely to be genuinely into their partner, his cock notwithstanding. If you look closely several pretend to open their mouths only as soon as they approach the other pair of lips they lock-down. The lips dovetail, effectively blocking the tongue. Then there are models like SC's Dean and CF's Kellan who dive right in and it's so hot to watch!

 

[Windsong]

... not Madonna or Gaga, "Project Runway", "Glee" etc ...

Aww, I don't like any of those things. But I don't want to be straight, I own too much gay porn .

 

[Críostóir]

Never been a fan of any of those either. But I'm old.

 

[BottomsUptown]

I think Corbin Fisher sold Mason (Wyler) as a str8 guy in the beginning.

 

[PhunkSpunk]

I think Corbin Fisher sold Mason (Wyler) as a str8 guy in the beginning.

They sure did! Apparently he did show up with some chick claiming to be his 'girlfriend'. He (JW, I mean) also had a MySpace page saying he was looking for hot chicks with a wild streak. That's Mason for you!

 

[Críostóir]

Went swimming with my friend today - he “forgot” a bathing suit. He said the only way he would swim is if I skinny dipped with him. We ended up sucking & fucking in the pool. We’re both straight.

To paraphrase Douglas Adams, this must be some new meaning of the word 'straight' that I wasn't previously aware of.

 

[codybrandon1746]

the biggest example is always Dawson of CF.. He claims to be straight but this dude is dripping gayness all over. From the time he dildoed himself up to his last video, its palpably gay. And he even fakes his age. He looks in his 40s with all his baldness but claims to be in the late 20s.

 

[MrPerfectMan]

Straight people seem to think bisexuality means you're gay, and gay people seem to think bisexuality means you're straight!

 

[Críostóir]

Straight people seem to think bisexuality means you're gay, and gay people seem to think bisexuality means you're straight!

This is a pretty good definition of bisexual erasure. I'm totally stealing it.

 

[suckcex]

I think you are letting these kind of things get the best of you. I also think people are too much into labels, like being gay or whatever was the same as being part of club and that you should follow the group code etc. In my opinion if we were less label minded we wouldn't be having this kind of concern, we would be having much more fun.

As far porn goes... I do believe in gay for pay, never forget there is the shots actors can take to make their cocks hard. I also believe that some studios will say all the actors are straight because there is this fetish among some people.

What I mean is, you should have a strong sense of who you are and not make others people choice about you.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

Having scene the social networking pages of several 'gay4pay' models, I was disappointed to discover that most of them seemed straight as advertised. Their 'favorites' are things like sports teams, hip hop groups or metal bands, not Madonna or Gaga, "Project Runway", "Glee" etc., their friends equally male and female and also pretty straight.

I think you have an absurd reasoning of what it is to be gay... some people (myself included) have more interests outside of the stereotypical.