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Accidently Came Out

A

Alan-Smithee

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Hello, I accidently came out (as bi) to my best friend on Xmas Eve, just slipped out whilst having a few drinks.

He's acted really distant since and I'm worried he might tell other people, something I really don't want to happen at the minute. Mainly due to the fact that I'm not dealing with it very well myself without other people putting their opinions to me.

I don't know whether to approach him about it or give him time to come to terms, or even lie and say I was joking although I think it's too late for that now.

Much appreciated. :help:
 
>>>I don't know whether to approach him about it or give him time to come to terms, or even lie and say I was joking although I think it's too late for that now.

A.

Just call him up and say "Look, you've been a bit distant since I talked to you on the 24th. I just want to know if everything's cool."

Lex
 
Only thing I might suggest you do is ask him to respect your privacy...something like "hey...that thing I mentioned the other night...that was said in confidence. I'd appreciate you keeping it between us while I figure things myself." (can you text him?) Since he distanced himself..seems like he's processing it for himself so I wouldn't try to discuss it any further unless he becomes receptive to discussing it and as well if you even want to talk about it. I certainly wouldn't deny it...it's already out there. If he's a friend or even just a decent person...he'll honor your request.
 
Well, that's one of the costs of being closeted: the news getting out on someone else's terms.

You can't put the genie back in the bottle. Just accept the fact that it will probably get out.

The main reason people become distant is because they have their own issues to deal with. He's probably not totally straight himself, but hasn't dealt with it yet.

Give him time.

Then, just be yourself. Be a role model. Show him that being bi/gay is OK and respectable, and maybe even fun!
 
I agree with all of the above. I wouldn't lie though. It's probably taken you a long time to get to this stage and trying to back track will not be healthy for you. If for whatever reason he doesn't respect your privacy, then to some extent it can still be good for you because it takes away that shall I /shan't I tell anyone, which keeps us all stuck.
 
jaysizzles said:
Only thing I might suggest you do is ask him to respect your privacy...something like "hey...that thing I mentioned the other night...that was said in confidence. I'd appreciate you keeping it between us while I figure things myself." (can you text him?) Since he distanced himself..seems like he's processing it for himself so I wouldn't try to discuss it any further unless he becomes receptive to discussing it and as well if you even want to talk about it. I certainly wouldn't deny it...it's already out there. If he's a friend or even just a decent person...he'll honor your request.
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text him a few times over the last 2 days over various things mainly football and had no reply which is odd for him.

I might try and go and see him tomorrow then. Thanks lads.
 
This happened to me once. I got extremely drunk one night while at my friends dorm room and just said it. Started crying and couldn't look at any of my friends at the time. The next day, they all acted fine except one of my guy friends. Within a week, I just told him that I was gay and that he can except it if he wants, but im not going to change. And we have been great since then! Don't worry about it, it will all be okay!
 
I've told a few people, mostly straight, that I'm bi, and what I found is that the people who are 100% ok with it are also 100% confident in themselves. The people who give me a weird reaction are unsure of it themselves. I mean it hits closer to home when a close friend of theirs comes out. It makes them have to deal with it... so that's my two cents anyway. So in my honest opinion, there's really no reason why ur gay side should bother him if he's really straight :p.
 
Hello again, spoke to him today and it seems fine. He said he'd rather not talk about it but is fine with it and wont tell anyone. Good enough for me :-D

Been a traumatic few months lol
 
Alan-Smithee said:
Hello, I accidently came out (as bi) to my best friend on Xmas Eve, just slipped out whilst having a few drinks.

He's acted really distant since and I'm worried he might tell other people, something I really don't want to happen at the minute. Mainly due to the fact that I'm not dealing with it very well myself without other people putting their opinions to me.

I don't know whether to approach him about it or give him time to come to terms, or even lie and say I was joking although I think it's too late for that now.

Much appreciated. :help:
Click to expand...

Bi is cool.
Many people get jealous because they can suck dicks and lick Virginas.
So nothing to worry about.
 
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