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Advice: Do you "admit" being a virgin in online dating?

W

wikke1

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Hi guys

I have a question.
I've been out for more than a year, and I start feeling that maybe, slowly, I'm getting ready to go on some kind of "date".
I know, I'm slow.

I made myself an online profile on this website and some opportunities occur.

No real "date" has come from it.


Now, I'm 28, and would like to date guys +/- my age.
When chatting to them, I feel like I have to let them know that I'm "new to this".
Do you agree?
I don't know why, I just feel like they should know, and I should tell them.

OTOH, I don't want them to think I'm this helpless little wallflower.
I mean, I have plenty experience in other aspects of life, and consider myself a nice, stable, grounded person.


In other words, I want to be hounest (so that they don't expect a sexually experienced 28 y/O, ready for n'importe quoi), but I do't want to reduce myself to "the virgin"...

Does that make sense?

What would you do if you were in my shoes, and what would you like someone like me to do, if you were to "meet" them online?

Thx for your feedback!
 
i would like to know if the guy im going to see was a virgin, or just new to gay sex.
i dont think you need to "advertise" the fact on your profile, but id bring it up if the chat gets more serious and it looks like youre gonna meet.
you can also hold back that information until the first date, but i would only do that if the first date clearly is a "no sex" kinda deal. you can make that explicit, or choose a context where its very clear (eg lunch date).
good luck!
 
I would write "inexperience but ready to explore".
 
tell em you never tried anything with a guy. thats what i did. i still say im new at this. most people dont seem to care, they care more about your looks. and that way they know to take it slow, and that they will likely need to take more of the initiative (at least they need to with me).
 
I think letting them know that you're "new to it" is good enough to begin with. It's not specific, but you're telling it like it is.

And as you chat to them and get more comfortable with the person, you can then let them know that you're a virgin if the topic comes up.
 
Don't think you have to let them know---love a virgin---like finding a pearl in an oyster in this jaded world.:lol:
 
Or you could post, "I'm a virgin. Come claim your prize boys!" :lol:
 
Hehe, definitely don't want to leave guys in the dark about it, actually. If you've never tried any anal play, for example, it doesn't actually feel quite like you imagine it is going to feel. In fact, for some people, it's a very acquired taste. Also, you might need a little instruction on giving a guy oral, though some people are just so natural at it...just assume you're not one of those guys. Same goes for if you are top.

So +1 to what HunterM said, definitely. That's just the most direct way of phrasing it without using the scary "V" word.
 
dont post much but had to wish you luck. I happen to like all the advice you were given and love that you asked cause im not sure I could have and im in the same boat :). I would love to insert some wisdom with my wish of luck but i got nothing when it comes to this ;)
 
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