Advice Needed: Met a Great Guy But He Only Likes To Bareback :-(

[KaraBulut]

Hmmm... a doctor who gets drunk in the middle of the week, wants to bareback and claims he's on Truvada for PrEP...

 

[eastofeden]

He presented you with a dealbreaker...so say goodbye and find someone who does not present you with a dealbreaker.

 

[mooki33]

It's unfortunate, but you're wise and much better off being with someone who values your health more than a moment of pleasure.

Kudos to you for sticking to your guns.

Thanks man

 

[Ninja108]

Thanks man

You did the right thing. It was clear he didn't respect your wishes about your health to wear a condom. And someone who doesn't respect your wishes on a issue as important as that is someone you don't need.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Hmmm... a doctor who gets drunk in the middle of the week, wants to bareback and claims he's on Truvada for PrEP...

Doctors tell their patients lies all the time, no?

 

[KaraBulut]

Doctors tell their patients lies all the time, no?

If anything, they are more likely to be brutally honest when it comes to their patients.

But they are human and they have a much higher rate of self-harm than the general population- depression, prescription drug abuse and suicide.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

If anything, they are more likely to be brutally honest when it comes to their patients.

I have no professional relation with anyone in the medical profession (except tenuously for that lousy factory job back in 2011 I posted a thread about once), but Dutch general practioners tend to be full of shit.

But they are human and they have a much higher rate of self-harm than the general population- depression, prescription drug abuse and suicide.

Intelligent and socially aware people can do all kinds of self-destructive things, it doesn't necessarily mean that they do a bad job... unless of course Truvada isn't actually remotely meant for the purpose mentioned.

 

[KaraBulut]

But they are human and they have a much higher rate of self-harm than the general population- depression, prescription drug abuse and suicide.

Intelligent and socially aware people can do all kinds of self-destructive things, it doesn't necessarily mean that they do a bad job... unless of course Truvada isn't actually remotely meant for the purpose mentioned.

There have been some studies of this. Pediatricians tend to have lower rates than the general public. It's the specialties that are in constant contact with medications (e.g. psychiatrists, anesthesologists) and the high stress areas (e.g. emergency medicine) that have the highest rates. It's more a statement of availability of the drugs and how people cope with stress that are the problem. And having seen a few cases over the years, some are quite functional at work... however when it goes bad at work, it goes really bad.

 

[innocentbychoice]

That's so gross, just think about how many people he's done it without protection. If he's indeed clean then it's just luck not because he's actually responsible. And to think he's a doctor, wow.

 

[bruce379]

So, I met this gorgeous doctor and we have gone on six dates. The chemistry is great and we clicked. He text me the other night because he was horny and drunk. Up until this point, we have only done oral It was late at night and I told him I had work the next day but kept asking and so I decided to go. I'm a bit more endowed than he is so I told him I'd be right over after I stopped to buy some condoms. His response: Oh, can we please do it w/o a condom. I want to feel you and for you to feel me. I told him that I only play safe unless I'm in an exclusive relationship. He told me he was clean but finds it a bit of mood killer if condoms are used.

I politely declined and he said he understood. That was Wednesday night. I noticed since then our communication has dwindled. I just don't get it. In this day and age...why would a person want to bareback? Is it that much of a difference for the bottom?

It just sucks. I like him and I know he likes me. But I think things shifted with the condom thing. It might have derailed us. He did text me yesterday to say hi. We were supposed to hang out this weekend and see a movie. It wasn't set in stone. But he was supposed to let me know if he was free. I text him 2 hours ago and no response.

I am not sure what my next move should be

go on PrEP. that way you can safely enjoy bareback with a lower probability of infection. of course, the risk is there, just a lot lower. learn more about it if its right for you. i still recommend condoms though. if the two of you can be monogamous for a month and test negative, then bare back is a realistic option. but know what you're getting into.

 

[KaraBulut]

go on PrEP. that way you can safely enjoy bareback with a lower probability of infection. of course, the risk is there, just a lot lower. learn more about it if its right for you. i still recommend condoms though. if the two of you can be monogamous for a month and test negative, then bare back is a realistic option. but know what you're getting into.

Not to get too far off-topic, but the studies that have been done of men who have sex with men (MSM), showed a 45-75% reduction in infection. The media (and the manufacturer of Truvada) have been promoting the drug as a way to prevent HIV infection, but what they are not telling the public is that it's only recommended for couples where one person is known to be HIV infected or for persons who at high risk (e.g. sex workers, IV drug users). It was never recommended as the primary means of HIV prevention for casual sex outside of a relationship.

Truvada is never intended to replace safer sex practices. The majority of people who are taking Truvada are taking it because they already have HIV, not to prevent HIV infection. It makes one wonder whether the doctor in this case is not telling the whole truth.