Advice Please.....my penis is turning purple!!

[Caeth]

call child welfare/police anonymously if you can ensure the kids will be all right....if not then wait until theyre old enough to be ok by themselves. (hopefully soon)

 

[lonnie1]

If your partner is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, you need to let him handle it. He will resent you forever if you hurt his mother. He needs to realize what she is doing to him and his brothers and sisters and do whatever he deems appropriate. You can choose not to engage with her. If she confronts you as you outlined, walk away--don't argue. Tell your partner you'll take a cab and see him at home.

 

[G-Lexington]

Welcome to JUB!

>>>How do I deal with this?

"I'm the type of person who doesn't hold a grudge. If someone annoys me I don't deal with them."

This guy sounds pretty smart. You should take a cue from him. Just stop dealing with his mother. At all. Period. If she calls, pass the phone to him. If she stops by when he's home, let him answer the door, and stay in you room (or go for a walk). If she stops by when he's not home, don't answer the door.

Lex

 

[backpacker]

You need to discuss this with your partner. Try not to do it in a confrontational way. Try an approach like "You know the way your mother treated me the other day is totally uncalled for. I understand she is your mom, but her behavior in unacceptable. I will not tolerate it in the future. What do you think is the best way to avoid this type of situation in the future?" This will allow him to be part of the solution and not seem like you are attacking him. If he refuses to address the issue, I would give him a choice. You will either completely avoid her or you will deal with her directly if she treats you like that again.

My best advice would be to totally avoid her. If this is an inconvenience to your partner, it's one that he has allowed to happen.

I feel like we are missing an important piece of information. Exactly why would the police only release the car to the mother? My guess is that she is the registered owner. If so, the question is why is your 28 year old bf still relying on mommy?

 

[SFMusic]

But I have to see her at family stuff. I can't just not show up.

The simple answer is NO, you don't have to see her at family stuff, and YES, you can just not show up.

You have to decide what is more important, allowing the mother to continue her reign of terror, or removing yourself from an environment that clearly makes you very uncomfortable.

 

[G-Lexington]

SF's right. Just don't go. Tell your boyfriend that you have no problem with him attending family events, but you and his mother simply don't get along, and so you're not going to interact with her if you can at all help it.

Lex

 

[nsguy2]

Don't let people like that bully you - including his drunken, irresponsible mother.

Tell her what you think of her and let things fall where they may.

 

[Yuki Sohma]

Welcome to JUB!

>>>How do I deal with this?

"I'm the type of person who doesn't hold a grudge. If someone annoys me I don't deal with them."

This guy sounds pretty smart. You should take a cue from him. Just stop dealing with his mother. At all. Period. If she calls, pass the phone to him. If she stops by when he's home, let him answer the door, and stay in you room (or go for a walk). If she stops by when he's not home, don't answer the door.

Lex

I agree ^ well said Lex-goyle

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