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Advice

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Menagerie

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Okay so I was talking to the guy for a little over one month. He did not know I was gay while we were talking and we were just friends. My gaydar was going off:

He likes Lady GaGa and knows her songs.
He would always comment on how hot certain guys are when we watched things together, but always followed it with "no homo."
A few times he said "if I was gay I would tap that" or "if I was gay I would be into him."
And just other general presumed gay mannerisms

So finally I tell him that I am gay and have feelings for him and he's like well you know I'm not into that, but we can still be friends. Then the next day he is like "I'm sorry I said that we could be friends I don't feel comfortable being your friend."

Is he gay and just not ready to face it yet or is he really straight? Should I just let it go and never talk to him again or try to be his friend and try to contact him?
 
He's gay and in denial, and having you as a friend is threatening to him because he's not ready to deal with it.

Also, the next time you want to profess your feelings for someone, make sure he's comfortably gay first. You might have saved yourself some trouble if you hadn't hit him with both at the same time, and you could have protected your heart a little better.
 
I'm guessing gay-and-in-denial, but whether he's gay or straight, he's said he doesn't want you as a friend. In which case, what - are you going to try FORCING him to be your friend? Let it go. Find some people to hang out with who actually DO want to hang out with you.

Lex
 
You were honest.

He's a mess.

Find better friends.
 
Menagerie said:
...My gaydar was going off:

He likes Lady GaGa and knows her songs.
He would always comment on how hot certain guys are when we watched things together, but always followed it with "no homo."
A few times he said "if I was gay I would tap that" or "if I was gay I would be into him."
And just other general presumed gay mannerisms
Click to expand...

Like the swallows returning to Capistrano...

You DON'T KNOW what's going on in his head. All you're doing is assuming. Even if this guy is in the closet he's straight by definition. I.E. he's not going to date you or become your boyfriend. He's not going to give you happy ever after. Don't assume, this guy was even making homophobic remarks - red flag - which means uncomfortable at the very least, not wanting anyone to associate him with being gay at the very least. Even if he's a closet case, you, are what he doesn't want to be associated with. ALWAYS believe how a guys acts, if he's making 'phobic remarks, he's either ignorant or an ass, then he ran away from you, more on that in a minute.

Menagerie said:
So finally I tell him that I am gay and have feelings for him and he's like well you know I'm not into that, but we can still be friends. Then the next day he is like "I'm sorry I said that we could be friends I don't feel comfortable being your friend."
Click to expand...

I'm gay - right hook; I want your gay babies, left hook - and he's out for the count. Don't drop bombs on people in rapid succession. Tell him you're gay - that's fine (but you should have done it when he started making 'phobic comments), but then you burden him with the suspicion that all along you just wanted his cock, that your friendship wasn't what he thought it was, and then you wonder why he ran. There are out gay men who'll run if you just drop that on them.

Next time, tell the guy you're gay, let that sink in, then see how things go. If there is a returned interest, then have a few dates, get comfortable, but don't rush into things. Definitely don't drop the love bomb on some poor, unsuspecting guy you've never been out with, who's been making 'phobic remarks, the moment he finds out you're gay. Hell, don't drop that on some poor unsuspecting out gay guy on the first date.

Menagerie said:
Is he gay and just not ready to face it yet or is he really straight? Should I just let it go and never talk to him again or try to be his friend and try to contact him?
Click to expand...

OK, does it really matter what he is? What's gonna change if he's in the closet? Will that make him want you? WHY do you want to know? WHAT is the point of knowing?

He ran.

End of tale.

Move on.
 
All that said, at least you know that you have the balls to go after what you want, no pining and no angsty whining -so good for you on that score, now polish your M.O.
 
Then the next day he is like "I'm sorry I said that we could be friends I don't feel comfortable being your friend."

TX Beau hit ever nail on the head. The only thing I would add is this. Why would you even want to contact or be friends with someone who said the above to you and is clearly just a total prick whatever his motives or insecurities. You might have feelings for the guy but that should have ended them. Don't undermine your self respect man by pining after this ignoramus. Find friends who value you for you.
 
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