Advice

[Highintensity]

I'm 33 I just started dating a younger guy I don't usually go for younger guys I prefer older and he don't go for older he prefers his age guys, he's 23. We started dating at the end of January he's sweet but I hate the fact he's still chatting on Grindr with other guys and I get afraid he will find someone else better or he could be hooking up though he says he is on there looking for more gay friends. I've been hurt in the past by guys and cheated on, I'm trying to trust him not say much to cause issues. He's introduced me to his coworkers and told them I was his boyfriend, I guess I'm asking any of you on here in a older/younger relationship and any advice on how to get over my insecurities I know if I bring stuff up over and over I'm gonna run him off and I don't want to I just have trust issues.

 

[kallipolis]

What ever happens, will happen whether you worry about it, or not.

Fear filled people, construct their own very special hell of a life.

 

[KaraBulut]

...I've been hurt in the past by guys and cheated on, I'm trying to trust him not say much to cause issues. He's introduced me to his coworkers and told them I was his boyfriend, I guess I'm asking any of you on here in a older/younger relationship and any advice on how to get over my insecurities I know if I bring stuff up over and over I'm gonna run him off and I don't want to I just have trust issues.

Have you told him any of this?

 

[Highintensity]

Yeah he said what attracted him to me was my concern about his aunt passing away that I wasn't like the other guys trying to get in his pants

 

[eastofeden]

The bottom line is..no matter what the circumstances or age differences...if someone is going to leave you for someone else..they will. There is nothing you can do about it...but if you spend your time worrying about what "might be"....you might miss what "is"

My point..there are never any guarantees in life ...or in love...except that we will all die....

What you fear is not about him...it is about everyone...because there truly aren't any guarantees..... no matter who you are with....

So my advice is to make yourself OK with this and trust that life will unfold as it will...and let yourself roll with the punches...

 

[Highintensity]

Ok I appreciate the advice.

 

[steve3339]

The bottom line is..no matter what the circumstances or age differences...if someone is going to leave you for someone else..they will. There is nothing you can do about it...but if you spend your time worrying about what "might be"....you might miss what "is"

My point..there are never any guarantees in life ...or in love...except that we will all die....

What you fear is not about him...it is about everyone...because there truly aren't any guarantees..... no matter who you are with....

So my advice is to make yourself OK with this and trust that life will unfold as it will...and let yourself roll with the punches...

True and with the age of mobiles and tablets we are glued to them whatever it seems

 

[KaraBulut]

Have you told him any of this?

Yeah he said what attracted him to me was my concern about his aunt passing away that I wasn't like the other guys trying to get in his pants

Trust and honesty and communication are important to any relationship.

If Grindr is an issue, it is up to him to give it up. You can tell him that it bothers you, that you're afraid he's going to be tempted or may cheat on you and that it makes you feel insecure. However, it is something that he has to give up voluntarily.

But underlying all of this is your insecurity. It's something that you're going to have to find the source of it and deal with it.

 

[Seasoned]

Living a day at a time is healthy whether or of a person is in a 12-step program. It keeps us focused on what we have control over and over what we can't control. The bottom line is we can only control ourselves. Sooner or later every relationship ends. What we ought to concern ourselves with is not how, why and when it will end, but the quality of it today. In some respects there is no difference between a partner cheating and worrying about a partner cheating. Both diminish the relationship.

 

[Alexander91]

As others have said, honesty is key. Talk to your partner about this. I had a similar issue with mine once (we met over ManHunt, and he used it actively even after we started our formal relationship), talked with him about it (to be honest, we got drunk and I cried to him about this) and he even gave me his account's password and told me Do what you have to do, but I don't want to lose you. I of course deleted his account(s), but I believe that talk about this help our relationship. He still kept his other accounts (I'm fully aware of it), but he started to take our relationship more seriously, started calling, texting more (we are in a long distance relationship) and being more open with me. He even sometimes talk about his internet acquaintances, and it doesn't bother me much, because we trust each other so much now. Talk to your partner about this and any other thing that might be bothering you and vice versa, feedback should always be welcome. This sort of conversations are never easy, but should be done in order for the relationship to mature.