Advise for an older guy

[Manin94301]

I am 57 years old and find I am more and more in need of being with young guys. But, I cannot seem to find anyone interested. Any suggestions?

 

[cgymike]

^What he said. But looking ahead - after you find him (please always look ahead if you can saves a great deal of wear and tear later on)realise also that young guys don't usually treat olders as their equals. Specifically in terms of money they will more than likely ask for favours. They will say they like "your maturity" and that it makes them "hard" or whatever but this is rarely genuine as they are using compliments to get into your wallet. To see through that is to see it for what it is. But there are people who are older who have plenty of money and don't mind the tradeoff. They lose some of their money but gain a boyfriend. The other risk is that the younger guy looks for "an even better deal" once he has used you. Meaning you have to go out and find another one or throw in the towel on youngers. I paint a rather black picture I suppose but it is from experience so consider the source of my bias. Some older-younger deals work great!

Caution is advised.

 

[Garrison]

^What he said. But looking ahead - after you find him (please always look ahead if you can saves a great deal of wear and tear later on)realise also that young guys don't usually treat olders as their equals. Specifically in terms of money they will more than likely ask for favours. They will say they like "your maturity" and that it makes them "hard" or whatever but this is rarely genuine as they are using compliments to get into your wallet. To see through that is to see it for what it is. But there are people who are older who have plenty of money and don't mind the tradeoff. They lose some of their money but gain a boyfriend. The other risk is that the younger guy looks for "an even better deal" once he has used you. Meaning you have to go out and find another one or throw in the towel on youngers. I paint a rather black picture I suppose but it is from experience so consider the source of my bias. Some older-younger deals work great!

Caution is advised.

yea, pretty negatively biased, I know a lot of younger/older relationships that are nothing like this, there are a lot of younger guys that genuinely want to be with older men and money has nothing to do with it

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

I am 57 years old and find I am more and more in need of being with young guys. But, I cannot seem to find anyone interested. Any suggestions?

Be interesting.

What do you have to offer such a guy?

 

[innocentbychoice]

^What he said. But looking ahead - after you find him (please always look ahead if you can saves a great deal of wear and tear later on)realise also that young guys don't usually treat olders as their equals. Specifically in terms of money they will more than likely ask for favours. They will say they like "your maturity" and that it makes them "hard" or whatever but this is rarely genuine as they are using compliments to get into your wallet. To see through that is to see it for what it is. But there are people who are older who have plenty of money and don't mind the tradeoff. They lose some of their money but gain a boyfriend. The other risk is that the younger guy looks for "an even better deal" once he has used you. Meaning you have to go out and find another one or throw in the towel on youngers. I paint a rather black picture I suppose but it is from experience so consider the source of my bias. Some older-younger deals work great!

Caution is advised.

Yeah I think you're biased. Though some things you have said might be partially true, it isn't always the horror you just described.

 

[innocentbychoice]

I am 57 years old and find I am more and more in need of being with young guys. But, I cannot seem to find anyone interested. Any suggestions?

I think the same thing that anybody else should do: Take care of yourself, make sure you look attractive, be interesting, don't be a creep and have fun.

 

[Idablows]

Just letting you know that there are some of us young guys that would love to be with an older man. Even if you're broke! I'm still searching for my Sean Connery.

 

[winterkill]

Men want young meat, and women know why they manipulate age and appearance and happily disappear from the marketplace via marriage. Admirers of the male youth cannot compensate their age with prestige or money, so at least in Western societies their shelf life is over with 35. This is one of the more serious problems that come with homosexuality, and it isn't helpful to belittle it. Sexual education should begin early on so that the shelf life can be enjoyed to the fullest; homosexuality should be presented as an attractive alternative to heterosexuality in order to encourage universal experimentation.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Admirers of the male youth cannot compensate their age with prestige or money, so at least in Western societies their shelf life is over with 35. This is one of the more serious problems that come with homosexuality, and it isn't helpful to belittle it.

Only if you follow the "dumb as dirt" section of the homosexual subculture.
Seriously, wallowing in self-pity is an Olympic sport for some homos.

 

[innocentbychoice]

Men want young meat, and women know why they manipulate age and appearance and happily disappear from the marketplace via marriage. Admirers of the male youth cannot compensate their age with prestige or money, so at least in Western societies their shelf life is over with 35. This is one of the more serious problems that come with homosexuality, and it isn't helpful to belittle it. Sexual education should begin early on so that the shelf life can be enjoyed to the fullest; homosexuality should be presented as an attractive alternative to heterosexuality in order to encourage universal experimentation.

Generalizing much? You sound crazy. SOME people might be like that but it doesn't mean everybody is. It is not a "problem that comes with homosexuality". Give me a break.

 

[aaggii]

Use this.

And good luck!

 

[ibill1]

Use this.

And good luck!

That was so cool. Interactive advice, I like it.

I'm 56. I was with my partner for almost 35 yrs. and never really thought about other guys until about a year and a half after his passing. Now what the f**k do I do? I haven't dated or been with another guy in all those years. I have also come to realize I am attracted to younger guys also but I also find guys my age attractive. I have a network of FB that I hook up with but none I would have a relationship with. In my career I come across quite a few younger gay guys but I'm happy to say they have partners for the most part. When they find out how long my relationship was they truly seek advice and I enjoy conversing with these guys about what I've learned. It seems alot are in open relationships which Steve and I never considered or wanted to. I would love another go with a younger guy but I'm not holding my breath. I just keep believing that lightning can strike twice in ones lifetime. But when all is said and done, I'd do anything just to have my sweetheart back, instead of sitting in a box next to our bed!

 

[GregKII]

Don't attack me, but this is why I'm so afraid of getting..older. I'm 24, and I can't imagine what it feels like to be in you 50s, trying to find someone to be with, at that age, I would imagine most gay men are either partnered, in the closet, or 'getting used by younger guys'

 

[aaggii]

That was so cool. Interactive advice, I like it.

I'm 56. I was with my partner for almost 35 yrs. and never really thought about other guys until about a year and a half after his passing. Now what the f**k do I do? I haven't dated or been with another guy in all those years. I have also come to realize I am attracted to younger guys also but I also find guys my age attractive. I have a network of FB that I hook up with but none I would have a relationship with. In my career I come across quite a few younger gay guys but I'm happy to say they have partners for the most part. When they find out how long my relationship was they truly seek advice and I enjoy conversing with these guys about what I've learned. It seems alot are in open relationships which Steve and I never considered or wanted to. I would love another go with a younger guy but I'm not holding my breath. I just keep believing that lightning can strike twice in ones lifetime. But when all is said and done, I'd do anything just to have my sweetheart back, instead of sitting in a box next to our bed!

I always wanted to use that My man is 47 and 5 years ago he ended a 15-or so year relationship. I am 23 now, so in other words, I was about 3 when he started his family. Sometimes history repeats itself, when we met I was about the same age as his ex when they met! Somehow, here we are, he is the most amazing guy I ever met and I love him to death. None of us thought that we would end up in a relationship, we were too far from each other, different countries, different ages, even much different heights (hihi) but surprize-surprize! Put in the descriptions of your profiles that you are relationship-oriented. The world is big enough to find something we want, each one of us!

Good luck!

 

[vulgar_newcomer]

^What he said. But looking ahead - after you find him (please always look ahead if you can saves a great deal of wear and tear later on)realise also that young guys don't usually treat olders as their equals. Specifically in terms of money they will more than likely ask for favours. They will say they like "your maturity" and that it makes them "hard" or whatever but this is rarely genuine as they are using compliments to get into your wallet. To see through that is to see it for what it is. But there are people who are older who have plenty of money and don't mind the tradeoff. They lose some of their money but gain a boyfriend. The other risk is that the younger guy looks for "an even better deal" once he has used you. Meaning you have to go out and find another one or throw in the towel on youngers. I paint a rather black picture I suppose but it is from experience so consider the source of my bias. Some older-younger deals work great!

Caution is advised.

What you fail to mention is exactly what do you bring to the table yourself? A special niche look? Are you fluid with the interest in culture or music of a younger group of people? Can you talk not like a older guy trying to be hip but just natural that is sounds appealing? Are you genuinely interested in doing activities, concerts, shows, sporting events, partying that younger people like (and older too). Do you stay active and contemporary with a image that flatters or compliments your age progressively? Age, body changes don't have to be all dead ends if one finds their place with the tide as it moves along with changes to adapt to a different season.
Are you tech savvy and know what is hot with technology?
Or do you wear your "maturity" as a badge of authority seeking to demean or say "I used to do that but out grew it".
If you have interest and common things over just sex then age sometimes is hardly noticed.

It dawned on me this past summer that one of my best friends is 68. He comes over drinks beers and I compromise by playing 60's & 70'rock I like but he doesn't tell me Slayer or Metallica sucks shit either, and we talk about everything. I've hiked with this friend in the swampy woods and had some of the most cool experiences with him and never thought of his age. We are not lovers but great friends. Hes a white haired guy and fat but man he can march a mean trail in the humid high heat of June with the cottonmouth, bugs biting and nasty thickest trails in the southeast. Other than knowing he is older I never gave it that much of a thought how much older and never will care. Hes gone out partying in goth and alternative clubs with me and fit in pretty much everywhere by his own accord. He pays for himself, or for both, sometimes I pay for him or myself just like my other friends both younger and older.

I am also familiar with plenty of guys who share the attitude you are sharing which I agree with what they think in many cases, players are all around. and most of them have reason to sounded jaded once you spend a little time with them , most are nice guys they just have the "oh back in the day" mind set.
Not everyone wants a Daddy or not every Daddy wants a boy. Partner or friend is cool enough

 

[yourson]

Hang in there, there are plenty of 20 year old guys that love older men...I do!