AGE a dude should tone it down?

[RobbyIsTehCool]

I think it depends alot more on the person then anything else, to be frank.

I've met some older dudes who were smoking hot, and some who were just not. One time an older guy, with a serious serious gut, offered me money to suck his dick. One time a younger guy, with a serious gut, tried to put me up against a wall and cop a feel. Both ended up tounge lashed, and one ended up with a fist in said gut.

It really depends more on the person and how they act that does it for me. An older guy with a gut or a ripped stomach are both okay in my book if they are respectful. A younger guy with a gut or a ripped stomach are both okay in my book if they are respectful.

A dude with no respect is only gonna get lashed out at.

In closing, I don't necessarily think there is a time where you are required to 'hang up the belt.'

Just don't be a douchebag.

 

[Croynan]

When I go to a bar, dancing or at times to the sauna, my heart goes out to older guys who are trying desperately to compete with the thirty crowd and under. Even in my prime it's hard to make a GOOD contact in "cold, emotionless Toronto." I always try to be friendly to the older crowd never swearing at them as some do when being cruised. In fact, most have been great gents and I've made it with a few because I have genuinely wanted to.

It just saddens me that they're subjected to some rough shit and ridicule?

When do you feel it is time to hang up " the end of cruising shingle " in the younger establishments?

Or do you think there is no such time and one should merely go for it damn the consequences!

Why do gay guys do this?????? They will be old one day as well.........It remains to be seen how they like it!

are you referring to the fact that one year they can be 34 and then the following year they can be 27-28? if so that is quite an accomplishment.

as for the grand observation - " They will be old one day as well," well i would think Marcel could give us a pointer on that one, could he not?

don't forget, Jerry Herman said, "Time Heals Everything," when he wrote "Mack and Mabel."

just another useless posting from the local village idiot, that will of course go un-answered. but then again, what do i know as the only opera i am going to see this year is Don Giovanni.
eM.​

 

[G-Lexington]

If they want to keep at it, successful or not, at age 60, what business is it of anyone else's? They can just say "No thanks, I like younger guys" and leave it at that.

Lex

 

[pizzaprof]

GIANT...DICK...

::comes to::

Huh? Oh. Yeah, old guys. I don't know about hanging up cruising - though I do dread being a sexually disgusting troll rousing involuntary sneers by thrusting unwanted advances at guys when I'm in my 70's - but I thought this was going to be about guys who don't dress and act their age. After 35, you should definitely start toning down your appearance, and not try to dress like the college kids. It looks so pathetic.

And maybe you should get a less distracting avatar, Peto...

 

[looseliam]

I think they receive that reaction from those who are stuck in the "I'll never get old" mentality.

For me, just a couple years ago, I harboured the same thought towards those older men I saw at the clubs.

Now that I'm getting older, and still maturing, I'm finding them more and more attractive. Not that they've changed, it's that I have. I don't want some 21 year old. Well, to screw, sure thing. But for a relationship, no.

I've found more and more of my trysts to be with those who are older than me. Some by quite a bit.

And I am starting to be turned off by the whory twinks on the dancefloor. But not that much.

 

[Brer Fox]

I despise the ageism in this community. Thankfully I can say I do not contribute to it in the least, in fact, I find older (to a reasonable age) men incredibly sexy. Their personalities are just so much more well attuned, caring, and down to earth on average. Not that there is anything wrong with the physical aspect, either. I have yet to really come across any younger guys who make me think 'Oh, wow, this younger guy is so much hotter than some older guy!'

I have not really fucked the universe yet (working on it) but I would probably give my preference to 30-40 year olds if I had to choose a ten-year span. Even with younger guys I prefer 25+. There hasn't been much about the college age crowd that gets me going, often they are hard to stand. Maybe I am a freak, but I certainly don't mind.

 

[Shepherd 2]

It must be time for the Shepherd to weigh in.
There are places I will not go, and things I will not do.
I believe I am most times age appropriate.
If anyone tries to stereotype me, well I will probably
turn on them with my sword sharp tongue and
Swiss temper and maybe even my Swiss army knife.

I wish the younger thought about being appropriate
at their ages, and did not make such asses of themselves
sometimes. If my partner dies or I am free for any reason
to meet people it will not be at any of the places mentioned
in this thread. Cruising is something I have never done,
and I never will.

I do not hit on anyone under age thirty even in gest.
And in fact would prefer not to have intimate contact
with anyone under age 50.
Shep+

 

[Brijan]

Ageism, like most "why do gay guys do this?" (implied meaning: why do gay guys, exclusively, do this) threads, is not limited to homosexuals.

Jerks are jerks.
They are everywhere.

Even if there weren't any jerks, someone would be the jerkiest by comparison.

These "older guys" probably don't care.
They have lived enough to know who they are and what makes them happy, or they don't care about the vapid opinions of superficial club goers. If they did care and were really bothered by it they wouldn't be dancing.

Thusly, let them have their fun and the comments will be water of their backs.

(That or they are too drunk to realize what is going on.)

 

[thelaw2047]

Try this formula on for size when you are thinking about dating someone younger or whatever:
Take your age.
Divide it by two.
Then add seven to that amount......viola!
I like younger guys too. But I don't try to hit on them or pick them up. I just think it is best if I'm a mentor or friend. I'm always respectful and I don't hang out at bars where I feel and can see that I'm the "old guy". Ageism shouldn't exist in the gay community because everyone reading this blog who are young now will be older . What goes around comes around. So for me my "date range" is 26 and up. What's yours?

 

[lonnie1]

I'm in the older category, but am still turned on by mid-20's on. Whenever I go to a sauna or bath, I enjoy looking and will attempt to touch if the situation warrants it. If the guy is not interested, most of them have a nice way of letting you know. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you don't want advances from older guys, you can gently let them know.

 

[Shepherd 2]

Second thoughts!
age 18
Shep+

 

[LarsVenice]

There is no one formula for everyone - each person is an individual and should follow his own path/passion/vision. Age rules are stupid and break down if analyzed properly. Do what you like and don't make up rules for others - only make your own rules for yourself, and even then you may learn that there are exceptions to all rules. That's my first rule.

 

[just_mills]

It's so disappointing to see people of younger age-groups being disrespectful to their elders, in any shape of fashion..
Doesn't put a good look out for us younger folk, who actually aren't like these stereotypical "bashers", toward the older generation...

Regarding the actual question.. I don't think there's a certain time a "dude" should ever "tone it down"..
Be yourself, and who you're comfortable being, for as long as possible.. and enjoy your life!
These *age rules* are so stupid!

..why can't everyone just get along, and not care how old someone is, or how someone looks, and just appreciate the inner-person, and who they actually are..?!
Life should be fun, and led how you want to lead it! There shouldn't be rules & regulations upon a person (regarding this topic)
..Why prison yourself?!

[Sorry.. end of rant]

 

[pizzaprof]

Pfft, "ageism". Just because someone came up with a word for it it's to be avoided like racism? Yes, we'll all get old, so we'll all be in the same boat - no one is being unfair to anyone.

And the really older guys, i.e. over 47, have NOTHING to say to ANYONE. If you got to be a sexually mature gay man in the 70's, you've had the chance to have more fun than any of the rest of us could ever even imagine. The fuckingest decade ever in all of human history (I just finished watching Gay Sex in the 70's).

This is coming from someone who CAN appreciate the looks of older men. It's just the entitlement from some people that grates me. Yes, in general older men are considered less attractive than guys in their 20's, often times even repulsive. But if you are an older man, then invariably you got to experience your twenties, and you have no claim to "discrimination".

 

[NickCole]

I retired from the scene when I was 35.

I wanted to leave while I was still being pursued the way I had been all along. And even though I still looked in my 20s I could feel which way the wind was blowing.

I remember that last night like it was a couple of months ago -- it was 15 years ago. The hottest guy in the club (other than me of course!), who was probably barely 20, though I've never had a thing for younger guys, pursued me all evening, came home with me and didn't want to leave. I said to myself okay that's it I'm done. Leave the stage while they're still applauding and asking for more.

About a year ago I went into a bar for a couple of drinks with my bf and a couple of friends, passing the time until a show we had tickets to started. Two different guys bought me a drink and one of them came over and tried to pick me up. I don't think that would happen if I hung out in bars all the time but at 51 it sure made me feel good.

I had a great run of it, of being young and good looking and desired and pursued. It was fun, never anything more than that for me. But know when to get off the stage. Find a boyfriend, settle down, grow up, don't embarrass yourself. Even if you're in good shape, hot gay clubs aren't meant for middle aged men. Find something else to be interested in; it's a big world and there's lots to do. If at 40 you're still doing the things that 20-somethings do, you're doing something wrong. There's other things to grow into. Life marches on; don't be left behind looking like a fool.

 

[NickCole]

And the really older guys, i.e. over 47, have NOTHING to say to ANYONE. If you got to be a sexually mature gay man in the 70's, you've had the chance to have more fun than any of the rest of us could ever even imagine. The fuckingest decade ever in all of human history (I just finished watching Gay Sex in the 70's).

You're right. And it was fanfuckingtastic.

But that movie, Gay Sex in the 70s, is horrible. No doubt that's how it was for those guys but a lot of us were not having sex in the back of trucks in the meat packing district. I didn't even know that was happening. My friends and I were at Studio 54, on Fire Island, and lots of other places that were clean and fun and lighted. I thought that movie was depressing as hell; the 70s/early 80s were a big bright festive party for me and the people I knew.

This is coming from someone who CAN appreciate the looks of older men. It's just the entitlement from some people that grates me. Yes, in general older men are considered less attractive than guys in their 20's, often times even repulsive. But if you are an older man, then invariably you got to experience your twenties, and you have no claim to "discrimination".

Well you're right, though harsh.

One thing you don't know yet, though, is that getting older in our society is a painful process for a lot of people. It's easy to be vulnerable; it's easy to be lost and lonely, and not know how the hell it happened. You have, with your youth, a wonderful power to make some people feel good. Use it; be generous. What you give to older people will come back to you in a good way.

 

[Shepherd 2]

Third thoughts!

Revised age is 100​

I once knew a lady who had a big party on her 100th birthday, and a reporter came from the local newspaper. She was sharp and in a really good mood. When the reporter asked her the standard question, "What is the secret to living a long time?"
She framed her wonderful face with a big smile, and replied,
"My dear, it is smoking cigars and wild sex."

The silence the reporter fell into was somewhat comatose.
She quietly gathered her pad and left.
I want to be like that 100 year old woman, over the top.
Shep+

 

[Jory]

For some reason I can't remember who but someone in a thread he posted about age stating that 28 was old.

 

[windgates]

When I had appendicitis and was in the emergency room waiting room, there was an old man there, probably 80 - 90 years old. At one point, his daughter (I'm assuming) handed him a bottle of water and he goes "You know this would taste a lot better if it was Vodka!" very loud and so everyone in the waiting room could hear it. His daughter was so embarrassed but I thought it was awesome.

Its cool that when you reach a certain age you can say whatever you want.

What does this have to do with this post? Nothing.

 

[Kulindahr]

Pfft, "ageism". Just because someone came up with a word for it it's to be avoided like racism? Yes, we'll all get old, so we'll all be in the same boat - no one is being unfair to anyone.

And the really older guys, i.e. over 47, have NOTHING to say to ANYONE. If you got to be a sexually mature gay man in the 70's, you've had the chance to have more fun than any of the rest of us could ever even imagine. The fuckingest decade ever in all of human history (I just finished watching Gay Sex in the 70's).

This is coming from someone who CAN appreciate the looks of older men. It's just the entitlement from some people that grates me. Yes, in general older men are considered less attractive than guys in their 20's, often times even repulsive. But if you are an older man, then invariably you got to experience your twenties, and you have no claim to "discrimination".

Well, there's a serious load of ignorance.

I'm close to twice your age.
Where I grew up, if I'd tried to "experience my twenties", I'd never have finished them -- guys who like guys and let it show regularly had "accidents" up in the hills or at a river or something.
I didn't get to experience my thirties, for that matter -- that's a tangled story.
And now I run into people like you, who are telling me it's time to shut down, because I've had all my experience. Want reality? There are LOTS of guys in their forties, and older, who have less experience in gay relationships than today's typical urban gay high school junior.
And don't believe the movies -- in most of the country in the 70s, being actively gay meant hiding and sneaking around.

One of my big frustrations is meeting a guy who's 20, fun, intelligent, good looking, says he likes older guys... until he finds out that he has ten times as much experience as I do -- because he's really looking for someone with more experience, because he feels like he doesn't have much. I was hitting it off pretty well with a 22-y.o. at a bar a while back, until he asked how many guys I figure I've blown; I thought for a while, and said, "Fifteen, maybe" -- and he stared at me, then said in disgust, "I did that many the summer before high school", and off he went.

So when older guys are into younger guys, it just might be (amazingly, frequently is) because they're looking for what they never had a chance to have, or are looking for someone without so much experience it's scary, or are looking for someone who's a peer in terms of realizing who they are, or ... lots of good reasons that you didn't even consider.