age difference a problem?

[FangBanger09]

im not into guys who are like old enough to be my dad. but all the guys i end up liking just so happen to be older me... but not too old.
the latest is a guy i've had a crush on for a few months now. hes the manager at the local aeropostale and he broke up with a guy recently who was only a year older than me but acted like a drunk 15 year old girl.
so usually, i only get to see this guy at the mall. for about two months, we've been limited to a "hi" or "hows it goin" when i see him. we'd have the occasional facebook conversation but last week was the first time we actually had a good in person talk when he was getting ready to close the store and i was the only customer.
and last nite was the first time ive seen him at the club. the entire nite, he was giving me this look that just sent shivers down my spine. we flirted most of the nite and danced to a few songs. although i guess u could say weve been friends for a little while, i feel like last nite was the first time i got to know him and now i think i really like him.
before i left, i asked if i could kiss him which usually isnt my style but i just felt so nervous and wasnt sure what vibes i was picking up. he said, "well, you don't have to ask."
the thing is, i really like think i like him and i can tell theres some kinda mutual feeling but he's kinda stressing about the age difference which im guessing is because of his previous mentioned ex. so what im asking is, do you think 18-24 is a bad age difference? and if not, how do you think i should go about convincing him, im not as immature as his ex?

 

[Georgiadude]

In my opinion age shouldn't be a factor in a relationship. period. This topic has been brought up numerous times around here and well lets just say everyone knows what opinions are like......everyone has one and sometimes they stink.

To me what matters is the person and what is in their heart/mind. I happen to be dating someone younger than me by several years. Big deal. We still laugh, talk, hug, kiss and have a lot in common. He happens to like daddies and I like younger guys. We are both adults and can decide who we want to give our heart to. Not anyone else s business.

As for your questions: Is that a huge age gap? No. How can you prove to him your mature? Act it. Be responsible. Prove to him your mature by your actions and the conversations you have.

 

[aijalon18]

Well age DOES matter. But it certainly shouldnt be a dealbreaker always. There is a certain power and responsibility that an older guy has depending on how much older. To say we're both over 18 we're both adults is bullshit.

Anyway if he doesnt want to be with you because of your age, then just be friends. You shouldnt have to prove how mature you are. Your age is your age. You cant help. You should just appreciate your youth and find someone your age or someone appreciates your age.

 

[Achilleus]

Well, from a selfish perspective, I'll say no age isn't a problem. But, I'm an "old" guy that likes younger guys. More honestly, I would just say be careful. I agree with aijalon, the older guy does have, power and responsibility. There are old pervs out there, that are just looking for young ass. If the guy you are interested in is a gentleman, then I don't think there is any problem with such an age difference.

As to convincing him that you are mature, as Georgiadude said act mature. Age itself has nothing to do, or little to do, with behaving mature.

 

[rareboy]

how do you think i should go about convincing him, im not as immature as his ex?

By not behaving as immaturely as his ex.

 

[TX-Beau]

18-24 only seems like an age gap because you're 18. When you're 22 and he's 28, no one's going to bat an eyelash.

 

[Georgiadude]

Well age DOES matter. But it certainly shouldnt be a dealbreaker always. There is a certain power and responsibility that an older guy has depending on how much older. To say we're both over 18 we're both adults is bullshit.

Anyway if he doesnt want to be with you because of your age, then just be friends. You shouldnt have to prove how mature you are. Your age is your age. You cant help. You should just appreciate your youth and find someone your age or someone appreciates your age.

I'm going to reply to your response only once as I'm not going to hijack this thread and turn it into an age debate that has been done numerous times already. What is "bs" about an 18 y/o ADULT deciding who he chooses to date. I do not hold any power over my bf. He can choose what he wants to do. As can anyone I date. Doesn't matter if he's 18 or 50. You make it sound like I have him under some mind control or something. Please. Age is only a problem if you let it be one. We treat each other with dignity and respect. We have a lot in common and love each other very much. If you can't see that 2 people can love each other and not let age be a problem then that's too bad. I'm not going to let it hold me back.

 

[TX-Beau]

I'm going to reply to your response only once as I'm not going to hijack this thread and turn it into an age debate that has been done numerous times already. What is "bs" about an 18 y/o ADULT deciding who he chooses to date. I do not hold any power over my bf. He can choose what he wants to do. As can anyone I date. Doesn't matter if he's 18 or 50. You make it sound like I have him under some mind control or something. Please. Age is only a problem if you let it be one. We treat each other with dignity and respect. We have a lot in common and love each other very much. If you can't see that 2 people can love each other and not let age be a problem then that's too bad. I'm not going to let it hold me back.

Well, for you and your guy it's not an issue. But there are people out there for whom this is an issue. I'm one of them. I wouldn't date an 18 year old. Why? Because I don't like guys that young as a general rule. That doesn't mean it's an absolute deal breaker, but the guy would have to be pretty mature, and whatever you say about 18 year old guys, mature isn't really at the top of the list - simply because they don't have a lot of experience with life yet, and I like my guys to have been around the block a bit.

There are also guys out there who are into the whole "Daddy/Boy," Power dynamic, and guys who like young tail and that's the exact depth of it. I don't think it's insulting you personally to point this out.

We routinely point out in here the red flags to watch for in any kind of relationship.

If it doesn't fit, don't try it on.

 

[aijalon18]

I'm going to reply to your response only once as I'm not going to hijack this thread and turn it into an age debate that has been done numerous times already. What is "bs" about an 18 y/o ADULT deciding who he chooses to date. I do not hold any power over my bf. He can choose what he wants to do. As can anyone I date. Doesn't matter if he's 18 or 50. You make it sound like I have him under some mind control or something. Please. Age is only a problem if you let it be one. We treat each other with dignity and respect. We have a lot in common and love each other very much. If you can't see that 2 people can love each other and not let age be a problem then that's too bad. I'm not going to let it hold me back.

I dont want a huge debate either, but there is a big difference between an 18-year-old "adult" and a 50 year old adult. I dont get why older gay guys always feel the need to get so defensive. Just accept the fact that there is reasonable concern with relationships with such an age gap. I know if I had a kid who was 18 and he said this my boy/girlfriend who is 38, 48, 58, I would be very concerned.

And just be honest, you do have a certain amount of power over your boyfriend if you are 50 and he is 18. You have been on this planet 32 years longer than him and I would hope you have a much greater experience. That experience should bestow you with a wisdom that it is impossible for him to have at 18.

You could have a lot in common but should be at different points in your life. It is not necessarily a doomed relationship. But you must both acknowledge the differences and not play this "age is nothing but a number game".

 

[aijalon18]

Um, the OP said the Aeropostale dude was 24 not 50. Idk where you're getting 50 from dude. Seriously.

No I was replying to another poster who saying he was significantly older than his boyfriend. The example that guy used was 50. I know the OP is 18 and his crush is 24. Like someone else said i agree 6 years isnt a big difference if your 22 and your guy is 28. But I think when you're 24 and an 18 year old wants to date you, i'd be a bit hesitant too.

 

[Lube]

do you think 18-24 is a bad age difference?

The way you were building up the whole age difference, I thought you were going to say he was 64 or something!

This age difference is, to me, not a big deal. (Disclaimer: my bf is 15 years older than I am). Well, it is and it isn't. It is because, proportionately, he's 1/3 older than you and at 18 you don't have a lot of street smarts.

But it's not a big deal because you guys will probably break up and all this worry will be for naught. At 18, you couldn't have had any LTRs, so this is all new to you.

Just enjoy it.

Give it at least two years before making any big commitments together though. You really need to grow up and see the world a little before making legal or financial commitments.

You'll be fine if you keep your eyes open. Good luck.

 

[youngnihilist]

Hah, 18 and 24 aren't a real age difference. If he was in his 30s, or 60s as we see all too often, that's when it gets weird.