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Age difference

blckmax

blckmax

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#-o I've got a bit of a dilemma and I'd like your impression. The other evening I met a younger guy at the local bar. He came up to me and introduced himself - we chatted - found things in comon and ended up coming back to my house after the bar closed. We talked til late in the evening and then ended up in bed where we had lots of fun! He stayed the night, which was very cool as well.

We exchanged numbers and all and plan to get together again - which I am looking forward to.

My dilemma is this - I'm 51 and he's 27. He is attracted to "older" guys and I'm attracted to younger guys and we have a lot in common. He is only two years older than my oldest son! I'm afraid they would have a real hard time with that.

I am jumping the gun a bit on this - but I don't know if I should get involved if its going to be a problem for people that are very important in my life.

Any thought!!!??

:help: :help:
 
If he was under 21 I'd say there is a problem but since he's 27 - go with it. You're both old enough to know what you're getting into
 
if you were str8 and it was a 27 yo woman no one would blink an eye ... just enjoy it
 
I have couple of friends, one nearly 70 and the other in his early 40s, who’ve been together 21 years. I also know of a couple, friends of a close friend, who met when one was 40 and the other in his teens and have been together over 30 years.

My own experience has not been as good. When I was 42, I had a 26-year-old boyfriend. We were together for over a year and we visited and socialized with each other’s family. We were looking for a house together. I had even placed my condo on the market. Then one Sunday, after spending the weekend at my place, he called me when he got home and broke it off saying that we were at different stages in our lives. I was madly in love and I thought he was also and this though me into a deep depression for several months.

When I went back to dating I went out with a couple of young guys. There was one 25-year-old who I dated for months; we even went on vacation together. Then I learned that his mother was a year younger than me and I decided it was time to date men my own age.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that each relationship is different. Some work and others don’t. The only way to know is to try, so if it feels right, go for it.
 
I knew a couple who had the same age difference and had no problems. I was friends with the younger guy and believe me, he was ALWAYS madly in love with his lover. He had no regrets.

Good luck!
 
everyone on here don't laugh at me but i had an issue with my bf being younger when i met him. i was 30 and was 22. it really bothered me cause i usually only dated older guys and i had to really change my thinking to be with him. we have been together for 4 years now and i'm over the age thing cause i learned stuff like him being bad with money isn't a young thing-it's a him thing. lol. 8 years is not a lot by the gap you guys are talking but i can understand how it could make you feel.i felt younger when i dated older guys and i feel older when i date younger guys. maybe it's just me.
 
Well I live with a guy who is 23 years older than I am and it works out fine, however I think it's nice that you think of how your children might feel. Not all parents are so considerate of their kids' feelings.

I really don't have any advice about it other than to maybe ask your children what they think of it before getting too involved? Obviously you can't let them choose how you live your life but maybe if you at least express concern for how it might impact them they might find it easier to handle?
 
I met the man that I'm still with when I was 27 and he was 44 (He is 17 years and 6 months older than men). If it seems right to you, go for it.

The key is that you're 27. If you were between 18 and 21 with that age gap, I'd say it might be too much. That kind of age gap can work - I've been with my bf for 12 years.
 
I think that it is wise to bring up the subject with your oldest in the most general of terms. Get his take on it, see how he feels. Then try to tailor the interaction between you man and your oldest. I peronally think that it is never wise to ask for permission of a child when it comes to matters of the heart. But it will go very far in the future if you are aware of any possible conflicts as well as he will remember that you did care enough to get his opinion on this subject.
 
Thanks guys - I appreciate the feedback - I guess at this point I'm gonna wait and see what develops with my new friend and go from there -

a funny side line to the story - he lives and works in the town wher I used to live and where my wife and kids still are - and works at a private prep school where my wife's best friend is the nurse! Too small a world I think!!!
 
Take your time and tread lightly.

If you guys genuinely fall in love with each other, your kids will see that and hopefully accept that. I'd never wish either of my parents to spend a single day of their life without being happy about themselves. And, I would never stand in their way.

Yup, there is no universal wisdom about the age gap. For some guys, it works, for the others, well, it does not.

My BF is 17 years my junior. He finds twinks very attractive, and so do I. But, he says, he'd never date one. He is attracted to grown up men. We have been together for 5 years now and he says, he still feels the same.

SC
 
I've always had b/f's who were younger . I'm single now ; but my last relationship lasted with a guy for six years . I was 45 and he was 19 .... It was MY own insecurities and jealousy that broke us up ..
GO For It !! No One can tell you who to choose for your partner no more than you will tell your children who they need to be with .
 
My exbf was 20 and I was 55 when we met. We were like images in the mirror. We were so much alike and shared the same dreams. We broke up a few months ago after 5 years. The US Immigration would not allow him into this country and ended both of our dreams! Single again, and hope I find a younger mate soon.
 
SilverRRCloud said:
Take your time and tread lightly.
Click to expand...

Yes, I agree. You've only been together once so far. Don't start ordering wedding invitations yet!

See how things go. You still have a lot to learn about each other. Worrying about how your family feels, etc., is a ways down the road yet.

Above all, you both need to think of each other as individuals. Generalizations based on age or anything else are not especially helpful. Maybe he'll turn out to be the love of your life or just a pleasant memory. Either way, I wish you both the best.
 
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