iflookscouldkill
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Okay, I'm back to bitch about me auditioning for American Idol again, for those of you who didn't know, I am. Anyways it hasn't happened yet, not until Friday but I'm just starting to get nervous. I read a blog entry some guy did who made it through the first round in San Antonio and he dressed up in a Batman costume. Okay, I can sing and I want to get through so fucking BAD but I just don't think I could dress myself up in a Halloween costume and parade out in front of thousands of people (although that would almost certainly get me through). I mean it's bad enough if your judges don't like you but then to top that off that you look like an idiot...not for me. I want to get through just based on my voice, no gimmicks. I mean I auditioned last year and was a bit naive on what they look for at this stage of the competition and got turned away but I left with a "dust yourself off and try again" mentality, sure I was bummed a little but I didn't dwell on it. I just want judges who look like they're enjoying themselves (mine last year looked like they'd rather have their toenails ripped out than hear anybody sing, and you know what...it's their job, they're paid to sit there and do that all day so the least they could show is a little enthusiasm). I want my voice to go completely back to normal (it's getting there but it's not quite at peak level yet) and I want to have fun, I feel like with me worrying about this so much it's gonna wreck the experience and affect my audition but I can't help but to worry...oh my god...I think I'm completely losing it 
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