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alcoholism

A

awilliam

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Does anyone on here drink too much?

I am a complete fuck up when it comes to booze and drugs. For some reason nothing really bad has happened to me yet, but I can't help thinking it is only a matter of time. I was sober for many years, but about 5 years ago I "slipped" (which means I made a decision to take the first drink). Since then I have not been able to stay sober. I go for about two months at a time and then I have an overwhelming urge to drink. Last night my partner and I had a nice dinner party. I went to the gym in the morning, but on the way there I picked up a bottle of vodka. After my workout I went into a stall, poured the booze into a water bottle (which I then hid in an overnight bag in the ensuite) and drank the remainider. I came home and made many trips to the bathroom since all of the people at the party know that I "don't drink". It is now Sunday afternoon. I have no real recollection of the past twelve hours. I do know I left the party I was hosting and went to a bar by myself and danced until the sun came up. The owner of the bar put me in a taxi around sixish with one of his employees to make sure I made it home ok. I have lost my jacket and my mobile. I do remember that my glasses fell off my head and were trampled on the dance floor.

I am a professional: I have a good job, a wonderful partner, great friends, a loving family and two adorable cats. Nonetheless, I can't seem to help destroying all that is good in my life.

Can anyone relate? If you can, please respond. I know I need to get to a meeting but I am currently on my fourth beer (necessary to stop the shaking so I can light a smoke).

I feel like I should take that last beer bottle, smash it on the floor, pick up a piece of broken glass and slice my fucking wrists.
 
This isn't weekend binge drinking, this is much more serious.

William, I sent you a PM. Please read it when you have a chance. We can talk if you want. Just read the PM and you'll see.
 
If you know that you have a problem, make an effort to never purchase what you are having a problem with. Don't buy it when you go out, don't bring it into your home. If it is not in front of you, it makes it really hard to abuse it in the first place. If that does not work for you, you probably need to go through a 12 step program.

I have a problem with sweets, especially licorice, so I try to keep it to a minimum in my home.
 
You know where your only hope lies. Get to a meeting as soon as possible. No excuses. No delays. My thoughts and prayers are with you, but you must take that first step.
 
I agree with josher, your only option is to get to a local meeting as soon as possible, and start out again.

Good luck when you decide to go, and I hope you find the support there that you need. If you have been to meeting before, do you have any people you could phone that would be able to talk to you now?
 
I've been there. I think it's a genetic tendancy in some people waiting to get exploited. I still fight it now. I have to ration what I drink and when, and it can be very hard. It's almost like a kind of built in self destruct system that feeds on itself.

I would strongly advise you get some help if you don't think you have the will power to do it on your own. Too many lives are ruined by this bloody stuff. I envy those who have no problem with enjoying it in moderation, some of us are not so lucky.

Good luck to you mate and my thoughts are with you by all means PM me if I can help. (*8*)
 
Will, hon, you've taken that BIG first step, acknowledging what you are!

Now, you MUST get some professional help!

If you have the assets, get your Partner to help you NOW! I know he loves you, so he can make arrangements to get you in DETOX....and he will stick with you through this!

You should be proud that you're admitting this hurtful thing about yourself; but in the long run, you've done the right thing...

So very proud of you, now don't STOP here, get into rehab right away!

Please!!!(*8*) (*8*) :kiss: :kiss:
 
awilliam, listen to the words posted here that you already know are correct and not to the others. You clearly have friends here, understanding friends - judging by the previous posts.
Don't drink. Go to meetings. Get a sponsor. Ask for help.
Post here when you need someone to speak with (but do get a sponsor).
stay close.
 
awilliam

Get to an AA meeting and get a sponsor now............

Good luck

Yuki
 
If you're in that bad a shape, look into a rehab. If you're a professional and have good insurance, you can probably get a lot of it (if not all of it) covered. If not, then go to your local hospital's emergency room and tell them your situation. Most hospitals are now equipped with competent detox wards, and they can at least give you the start you need. Definitely call AA, too. They saved my life.

I've been where you are. I am an alcoholic. I've been clean & sober for 19 years. If I can do it, you can do it, too.

Good luck!
 
I am the opposite. I don't drink, but I share an apartment with an alcoholic for financial reasons. You must believe me when I tell you that, as miserable as you may feel about it, virtually everyone around you is equally - if not more - miserable than you feel.

I have never come close to being reliant on alcohol, so I really can't empathize with the need to drink. I do know, however, that nothing anyone says to you can alter your thinking about it. Only you can do that, and only you can make the decision to change.

My roommate has no desire to stop drinking. He spends most of his time alone, sitting outside in the cold, tilting bottles, believing that no-one around him knows about it, that he is hiding it from everyone. Nothing is more important to him than drinking, and he begrudges every penny he has to spend on something that isn't booze - like food, shelter, etc. He lies to everyone and steals to feed his habit when he doesn't have enough money to get drunk.

I can guarantee, though, that if you make the decision to quit once more, you will have the support of your friends.

But, ultimately, the decision is no-one else's decision except yours. I can only hope you make the one I would like to see you make.

I wish you the very best of luck. (*8*)
 
i suspect twardmo was hitting his sour pucker (whatever kind of alcohol that is) a little to hard before he sharked this thread. if so then he's our next AA candidate...maybe i'll pre-reserve him a seat in the jub row with the rest of us.

if not, he is a dumb ass juvenile.

awilliam...feel the love and concern here. you aren't the only one going through the 'experience' . it has been said "YOU GOTTA STAND TOGETHER OR YOU WILL FALL ALONE"(*8*) (*8*)
 
twardmo said:
I like to drink, therefore I do a lot of it. So, yes I am serious.
Click to expand...

I like my pint as well, but when it starts to affect your life and others, it gets to the point where you should stop altogether. And believe me, if you're drunk regularly, it affects those around you and yourself, even if you don't realise it.

To awilliam: as often before, the people above me have said it best. You need to find help. You have acknowledged that you have a problem and that is the first step and definitely one of the hardest (if not the hardest). For that I would like to applaud you. There's a long road ahead of you. Find someone near&dear to you who you know will see you through the highs and lows to come. Your partner seems like a good choice. Go get yourself some counselling. Twelve steps or not, whatever works for you, but find help. You want to get rid of your problem with alcohol and you can (yes!), but you need to take the second step (admittance being the first).

Best of luck. Let us know how you're doing every once in a while. (*8*)
 
josher said:
You know where your only hope lies. Get to a meeting as soon as possible. No excuses. No delays. My thoughts and prayers are with you, but you must take that first step.
Click to expand...

It doesn't get said any better or more clearly than that! You know what to do... now, for God's sake, do it!
 
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